Sorrow
I have shed so many tears; I grow red in my eyes. I've cried for my team mates, for Kawalski, for Janet, for Charlie, for so many good men and women who fought alongside me. I've seen people grow overwhelmed by sorrow before; it's not new to me. I cry to keep everyone safe, if I held it in I'd break into pieces.
But no one knows that I cry, they never see me do it. I don't cry when they can see me, they'd think that I wasn't as strong as they think I am. When I cry, I'm all alone, hidden by my sorrow. If I didn't cry, my team might die, and I can't let that happen.