disclaimer: I do not own CSI : (

an: next chapter : ) I hope you like it!

chapter 3

He lay on the hard mattress, lay on his back, stared up to the ceiling and wanted nothing else but to cry. He wanted to cry for the woman he had loved, the woman who had taught him to love, to feel, to live. Now her life should be over? Now the person, that for him had always been the embodiment of life, the woman who had been his life, had lost her life because of… of something he didn't know. This was senseless. So senseless! Her life had been taken away from her, had been taken away from her by some bastard for whom she had been nothing more than an object.

He hadn't seen much of her dead body, had only seen her feet, her lower legs and her knees… he had felt his heart aching, almost breaking… he had felt the incredible pain running though his body, it had filled him with only one demand… revenge. Revenge. He wanted to pay revenge to that bastard who had done this to her.

He wished that he cold have touched her one last time. He wished he could have touched her soft skin, feel her soft shivers under his finger tips… he wished he'd have the chance to let his hand slip over her foot, over her lower leg up to her knee, over her thigh to her hip once again. Feel her, hear her, hear her breathing, hear her voice…

He's sitting on the armchair in the corner of the room. The memories of last night's lovemaking are running through his head. Every second he can spend close to her, every second that he can spend with her is more than he ever wished for, so many emotions fill him when he is with her. Emotions that she's taught him to feel.

There's a soft smile on his lips as his eyes wander over her body which is half covered with their blankets. Every time he sees her he is stunned by her beauty. He can't believe that she wants to be with him. What can he offer her? He really doesn't know and every time he's asking himself this question he knows that she notices it. Because every time when he thinks about it she begins to smirk and her eyes begin to shine and then she tries to rip him out of his thoughts… she does not want him to wonder why, she only wants him to care about the fact that she does want to be with him.

She's lying on her right side, her left leg is not covered, it lies on top of the cover. His eyes start right there, her toes, her legs, her hips…

She throws his pillow on him, he knows that she doesn't like it when he's looking at her like this. She never believes him when he tells her how beautiful she is. For him she's the most beautiful woman in the world. His angel, his honey, his beautiful Sara.

If he could he would spend the whole day just looking at her, if she would let him he would spend the rest of his life with his hands slipping over her soft skin… He never thought that he could give in to his feelings, his longings… Now when he is here with her, now when he sees that all the things he has been dreaming of became true, he can't help but feel incredibly happy. The smile on his lips gets even brighter and he wishes that he could put into words what he feels for her, but he can't describe it, because this goes so much deeper than love.

"Don't you do that." She says trying to be serious but she breaks out into laughter right then.

He loves her smile, he loves her laughter, he loves it when she's happy and he wants her to be happy for the rest of her life. His heart is surrounded with this familiar warmth that he is feeling whenever she is happy, whenever she smiles, whenever she is laughing. He wants to pull her into his arms, wants to hold her close to him.

He grins and he walks over to her, sitting down on the edge of the mattress he reaches out for her hand. He places soft kisses on her knuckles and looks into her eyes while doing so.

He knows that she loves this. Softness, she loves this softness between them. At first he hadn't seen her vulnerability, he hadn't seen a lot of things. But as he had started to see the real Sara, as she had let him in on her most kept secrets, he had realized that this façade around her, the façade that he had seen, had lead him into a wrong direction. He had finally started to see how much she needed him and how much he had hurt her with his behavior and he had finally started to see how much he needed her.

She smiles brightly. Her eyes are shining and he can tell how happy she feels. He can see their future right there in her eyes, he can see that they will be happy for the rest of their lives, happy together. "I love you." She says softly and means it honestly, her words come from the bottom of her heart and he knows it. And he can't describe how happy he feels. How much he loves her. She's the one for him, one day, he knows, he is going to marry her, he's going to make her the mother of his children, he's going to make her the happiest woman in the world.

Tears were running down is cheeks. He had tried to swallow them but finally he had given in. He missed her. He had missed her for two years and now, now she was dead and he would never see her again. Never hear her voice again. Never hear her laughter again. Never feel her again. Never feel her soft lips on his again, never feel her soft lips on the skin of his neck… she would never snicker again when he tickles her with his beard while his lips are tracing down her neck…

He rolled on the right side of his body and buried his face into the small pillow. He wished that she would be there to comfort him, he'd been wishing this for the last two years. Had been wishing that she would come back. Had prayed that she would come back and would comfort him from all the pain he felt since she had left.

She's lying on her right side, her left leg is not covered, it lies on top of the cover. His eyes start right there, her toes, her feet, her ankle, the small tattoo that he loves to kiss because she always begins to giggle when he does so….

Tattoo.

His eyes widened.

Tattoo?

He sat up, his heart beating faster.

Tattoo!

The woman in the morgue did not have a tattoo on her left ankle!

TBC

If I'd have planned to let her be dead I would have warned for CDin the beginning ; ) But if I would have said that it's not a CD fic it would have spoiled the first part of the fic. So please forgive me. : )