God, I had missed Willow.

I can't remember a time when I didn't know her. To this day, I don't know why she had stood by me all those years. I don't know why I hadn't lost her when I started chasing Buffy like a moron or mooned over countless other girls that I can't even recall the names of …

And no, Cordy. I'm not counting you there. I couldn't forget you if I tried. You'd never let me.

We had made it through everything, but adulthood. Willow was Uber Wicca College Lesbian Girl and I was Joe Non-College Temp Job Guy who was rapidly turning out to be everything that my parents said I was. If not for the Hellmouthiness of Sunnydale, we would have drifted out of each other's lives and would have been total strangers by the time of our first class reunion …

But when I called her, she was there for me.

I won't tell you what we said to each other while Willow worked her magic to see if there was something going on that made Kennedy burn for some Xander lovin'. Some things you don't share.

But I will say this. When all was said and done, I knew that Willow still cared for me as much as I cared for her.

I'm not in love with Willow, and she's sure as heck not in love with me. What we have is something all its own. She's the other half of my soul, and she always will be.

And with the usual Harris luck, Kennedy would happen to walk into the gym right at the happy conclusion of my talk with Willow when we were hugging each other like there was no tomorrow.

"Xander …"

"Kennedy!" As long as I live, I'll never forget the look in her eyes. The sadness … the betrayal. She looks like someone has kicked her puppy.

She doesn't say a word. She just turns and runs away.

"Will …"

"Go, you big dummy." She pushes me away. "We can talk later."

And the next thing I know, I'm running after her. Chasing Kennedy. Chasing her like my life depended on it.

And you know, that's a lot harder than it sounds. Especially for a guy who's been drinking way too much beer and eating way too much junk food. I seriously began to think that I was going to lose my breakfast …

Oh well. Humiliation and me are kissing cousins by this point. It won't kill me.

Kennedy reaches her little room and slams the door shut in my face. I stand there and beat on it for ten minutes before I have breath enough to speak again.

"Go away, Xander. Go back to her. She's what you want."

"Ken, let me in."

"Go, Xander."

"Like hell." I slam my shoulder into the door. "Ow."

"Xander, did you just try to break my door down?"

"Yeah. Don't worry. The door's fine. My shoulder on the other hand …"

"Xander … please. Go."

There's a crowd gathering now. Dawn is yawning and wondering what the hell I'm up to. Buffy is shaking her head and smiling at me. Andrew is opening his mouth to say something.

I grab him and slam him against the door. "If she gets out before I'm back, then your Bobba Fett dies the death of a thousand cuts."

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me!" I push my way through the crowd and head back to the gym. Faith and Robin are opening the weapons cabinet and getting ready to work out.

"Xander?"

I push my way between them—strong arming Faith isn't exactly the sanest thing to do for a guy who wants to keep his family jewels but she's too stunned to say anything to me—and grab a battle ax out of the weapons cabinet.

"We got problems?" Robin asks.

"Just the usual Harris luck with women, Robin. You two go back to what you're doing. I'll bring this back when I'm done with it."

You know, there's something about swinging a big ax that makes a guy feel more confident. I was actually grinning when I made it back to Kennedy's room.

And you know, it's true what they say. You get more cooperation with an ax and a kind word than you get from just a kind word.

By this time, Willow has joined the party. "Do you want me to open the door?" she asks in a whisper.

"No. I don't think Willow intervention is going to make Kennedy listen to me. Andrew, got out of the way unless you want a really close haircut."

Andrew squees and backs away just as I hit the door.

"Xander! What are you doing?"

"If the Kennedy won't come to the Xander, then the Xander is coming to the Kennedy." I hit the door again.

"Xander, you're insane."

"Just crazy over you, Ken. Now are you going to open this door or am I going to have to break it down… and probably ruin Faith's favorite ax in the process?"

"Put down the ax, Xander. I'll open the door."

"Okay. I'm putting down the ax."

A second later, Kennedy opens the door and sees me and the crowd that's been steadily gathering at her door. "Great. Come on in, Ax-boy."

She yanks me into the room and slams the door shut. She runs a hand through her hair and glares at me. "Okay. What do you want?"

"Right now? You're standing there looking like that and you're wondering what I want?"

"Go take a cold shower. I'm not in the mood."

"Ken … Ken, listen to me. Willow … it wasn't what you think."

"You love her, don't you?"

"Well, duh. That's not exactly a newsflash."

She looks down.

"But it's not that kind of love, Ken. What Will and I have is … well, let's just say that it's complicated, but it's not romantic. Even if she hadn't made a detour into Girlstown, we wouldn't be playing house together. We aren't going there. I went to Willow because of last night. I had to be sure …"

"Sure of what?"

"Way back when, I was dating a girl who broke up with me because I didn't fit in with her friends. I … well, I wanted revenge. I wanted to be able to make her love me again and then break up with her so she'd know how I felt. You remember Amy?"

The look in her eyes tells me she remembers Amy, and I remember what went down with Willow and Amy right before Sunnydale sank into the ground and I wish I hadn't mentioned her by name … "Right. Well, I wanted her to do the love spell for me … and let's just say she's no Will when it comes to the bippity bopity boo shtick."

"What happened?"

"Every woman who got near me wound up wanting to do the Xander dance. EVERY one. Including Buffy's mom."

"You SLEPT with Buffy's mom?"

"No. Oh God no. The spell had a side effect to where they all decided that if they couldn't have me, they'd kill me. Kind of like how most of my relationships have wound up—just at a much faster rate."

"The point, Xander?"

"I wanted to make sure that you weren't under a spell."

"What?"

"I thought there was a chance that some demon or witch had magicked you into falling for me to make you suffer … I just didn't want you to be used …"

"Xander …" She slaps me.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"I'm trying to knock some sense into your head. You really think that anyone could make ME love someone? What I'm feeling for you is real. God knows it's not smart, but it's real."

"That's good, cause … well, I'm feeling something for you."

"That's good, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Xander … I've never dated a guy before, you understand? I don't know if I can. I don't know what's going to happen."

"Me either, Ken. But I want to find out. What do you say?"

"I …" She smiles at me. "Want. Take. Have." Her arms slide up around my neck and she pulls my mouth down to hers. "Is that an ax in your hands or are you just happy to see me?"

I was going to say something really clever—I really was—but you know what?

It's awfully hard to talk when you someone else's tongue in your mouth …