A Rose by Any Other Name
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Thanks to whatever writer of "The Batman" who wrote the Poison Ivy story in which she creates plant-clones and replaces real people with clones. I swiped this idea from you.
Kindly forgive me for being a tad overly Pro-Launchpad even for me on this one, I don't want to start ramming Launchpad in other people faces nor shoving him down other people throats till HE creates nausea.
Magica DeSpell was up to no good. So what ELSE ain't new? She used her magic to create an evil flower that could invade "people" minds and turn them into plant-zombies who would obey her every whim.
Magica disguised herself as a florist and set up a flower stand selling "Bubble Flowers" by the side of a country road not far from Duckburg. The field next to the stand was planted with Bubble Flowers-LOTS of them. The former owner of the field had "donated" it to her after smelling one of her Bubble flowers. The flowers were beautiful and smelled delightful.
Most people could smell them without being invaded for a long time- but sooner or later, if the flowers were growing near them, they were zombie-fied.
They were like no other flower anyone had every seen before and they were for sale, cheap. It was not long before word of these unusual blooms reached Scrooge McDuck. Mr. McDuck got Duckworth to drive him out to the flower stand to check out the flowers.
"What lovely flowers! I've never seen flowers like that before." Mr. McDuck said to the "florist".
"I cross-bred them myself. No one else grows them." the disguised Magica said.
"How can you sell them so cheaply?" Mr. McDuck asked.
"Marketing ploy. No one has ever seen or heard of flowers like these before, therefore demand for them is low. I am selling them cheaply, at first, so people will buy them and come to like them. Then more people will want to buy them and I can charge more." Magica-in-disguise said.
"I like the way you think! I'm Scrooge McDuck. I can market those flowers for you- advertise them- triple your sales. We can form a partnership and split the profits. Deal?" Mr. McDuck offered.
Naturally, Magica agreed. Having Mr. McDuck HELP her take over the world would be sweet, indeed.
"Soon, thanks to his money and his contacts, my plants will be sprend all over the world! They will take over everybody's mind, including Scrooge McDuck's! THEN, who will stop me from ruling world forever, Moose and Squirrel, maybe?" Magica cackled. (1)
BUT...
"What do you mean you can't fly the flowers to other cities?" Mr McDuck demanded of my Launchpad.
"Achoo! What am I supposed to do about hayfever? I put plugs in my nostrils (they are on top of a duck's beak)but that only works long enough to get them to Duckburg. Any further than that, I start sneezing, my eyes water, I can't see to fly the plane....Achoo!" said Launchpad miserably.
"Bah! Oh, all right. I'll see about buying a plane with a refrigerated compartment. The flowers will stay fresher that way anyway. And you can deliver meat and perishables, too." Mr. McDuck steamed.
"Hufph! He would have hayfever!" Mr. McDuck complained to Duckworth.
"I'm surprised you don't just hire another pilot, sir." Duckworth said.
"You crazy? Know how much money I expect to make on these flowers? You think I trust any other pilot with that kind of money? Not to mention the credit card receipts with the card numbers on them? With identity theft run rampant? Say what you will about Launchpad, I know he'd never steal from me!" Mr. McDuck said.
"Perhaps you ought to tell him you appreciate that, sir." Duckworth ventured.
"Bah! He already knows that!" Mr. McDuck grumped.
"True. But he'd still like very much to hear YOU tell him you appreciate that. And so would I." Duckworth said.
"I don't know HOW to DO that! The words get in the way." Mr. McDuck muttered.
"You seem to have no trouble finding words to yell at him- and others, sir." Duckworth said.
Meanwhile, Magica was getting restless. Her evil flowers were all over Duckburg, but she wanted them spread all over the world before they started taking over "people". the trouble was:
a) the plants were impatient, too and started taking over people too soon and
b) some people were so spineless they went under just like that.
These plant-people often acted weird and some people were wondering what was with the plant-zombies. But since they had less experience with weird, the possibility that these people were possessed never occurred to anybody. They chalked it up to stress or over-work or (in female mammals) "that time of month", or even drugs or alcohol.
It was getting harder for Magica to restrain her plants- or her own impatience.
"WHY is it taking so long to get those plants delivered? SOMEBODY is going to start smelling a rat if this takes much longer!" Magica said.
She was right. Mrs. Beakly, being fond of flowers, bought some of the Bubble flowers(2)and grew them in the backyard of the Mansion until she was zombie-fied. Of course, Webby, Huey, Dewey and Louie quickly noticed Mrs. Beakly was acting funny. She was spending all her time with her plants and none with them. She was uprooting her prize roses to make more room for the Bubble flowers, mere rose cross-breeds.
"You know, Mrs. Beakly started acting weird right after she planted those flowers in the backyard." Huey said.
"Grand-ma hasn't kissed me or read me a bed-time story since she planted those - things. She's acting just like Mr. Greenjeans(3) in our school- ever since he planted those things in the school's garden, he's been acting funny." Webby said.
"Hey, that's right- in fact, a lot of people have been acting funny, lately- and they've all been exposed to those bubble flowers- most of them all the time!" Dewey said.
"Launchpad's been delivering those things for days and he's still Launchpad." Louie objected.
"He also keeps sneezing. And he tries not to breath in the flower's fraquence because it makes him sneeze." Huey pointed out.
"It doesn't effect you if you're allergic to them?" Dewey asked.
"How can it? You just sneeze it out!" Louie said.
"Let's talk to Launchpad!" the Triplets said in unison.
"The flowers are taking over people? Like those pods in that old movie?(4) We've been thru some weird stuff together, but that is pretty far out." Launchpad said.
"Have you noticed how my Grand-ma been acting lately? She so busy taking care of her bubble flowers she barely cooks any more- she stopped baking altogether!" Webby said.
Webby knew how fond my Launchpad is of Mrs. Beakly's baking, despite the occasional mandatory joke about her fruitcake.
"Let me check this out." Launchpad said.
The kids led Launchpad to where Mrs. Beakly was- tending the bubble flowers, catering to them and being totally out-to-lunch as far as the rest of the world was concerned. She barely acknowledged the existence of her own grand-daughter while "feeding" the bubble flowers fertilizer, watering them and reading them a bed-time story!
"Grand-ma treating those dumb flowers like she used to treat me! You have to DO something, Launchpad!" Webby said.
"But the bubble flowers don't make her sneeze. Wait a minute- I know what does! Duckworth, did you mow that stretch of yard that got overgrown in ragweed, yet?" Launchpad asked Duckworth.
"Indeed I did, Mr. McQuack." Duckworth said.
"I STILL can't get you to call me "Launchpad", can I?" Launchpad asked.
"Not while I'm on duty, Mr. McQuack. It's bad for my image as a stuffy English butler." Duckworth replied.
"Well, is the bag of clippings still on the mower?" Launchpad asked.
"Yes- I changed bags just before tackling the job, there is almost no "dust" if you use a brand-new bag." Duckworth said.
"Good." Launchpad said.
And Launchpad went and got the bag and removed it from the mower.
"Webby, please forgive me for what I'm about to do to your Grand-ma." Launchpad said.
"You - you won't hurt her, will you?" Webby asked.
"Of course not. But I am going to make her sneeze something awful. I just hope this works." Launchpad said.
Launchpad tossed the bag full of ragweed clipping in front of Mrs. Beakly's face and held his breath as it broke open. Poor Mrs. Beakly started sneezing to beat the band. When she finally stopped, she blunk her eyes and looked around in bewilderment.
"Gracious! What happened? The last thing I remember was planting these bubble flowers as seedlings- and now they are full-grown!" Mrs. Beakly said.
"You planted those flowers weeks ago, Grand-ma!" Webby said.
"Webby, dear- whatever has happened to you? You look half-starved and so do the boys!" Mrs. Beakly asked.
"It's those flowers- they put people into some kind of trance. You haven't cooked us a proper meal in weeks. We've been eating at the cafeteria at school." Huey answered.
"WHAT? Why the horrible things! That cafeteria food is dreadful!" Mrs. Beakly said
And Mrs Beakly, in righteous fury, ripped the bubble flowers out of their soil bed and tore the bubble flowers to pieces and jumped up and down on the pieces until she felt better.
"We better talk to Mr. McDee. He can find out how many people have been affected by these things and where." Launchpad said.
"But how could flowers DO such a thing in the first place?" Mrs. Beakly asked.
"Don't you remember that nasty witch, Magica Despell, the one who kidnaped me?(5) SHE must be behide this!" Webby said.
"DUH!" the triplets chorused.
So they went to talk with Mr. McDuck. He was VERY mad after they convinced him that Magica had come dangerously close to tricking him into helping her take over the world. He made a lot of frantic phone calls, asking about any reports of people acting obsessed over the Bubble flowers and neglecting everything else.
Not too many "people" had been effected yet-mostly people who worked around the Bubble flowers. Mr. McDuck made careful note of where the most people had been affected and where some were certainly affected.
Then a private little war against the Bubble flowers- and thus, against Magica- began. First, they had to get some "ammo". A trip to a field near the Junior Woodchucks's baseball field, which was over grown in ragweed provided the ammo.
Launchpad, wearing a scuba diving helmet and air tanks (so the ragweed wouldn't bug him), mowed the field. The ragweed went into little bags.
"Should we add some pepper to it? Not everybody has hayfever. Some zombified people might not sneeze and stay zombiefied." Huey asked.
"Nah, it might get in somebody eyes!" Dewey said.
"I don't think it will be necessary, anyway. That field was dusty and dry- dirt and dust got swept up with the ragweed clippings, enough to make anybody sneeze, hopefully without hurting them." Launchpad said.
Later, while Launchpad was, in his favorite bi-plane, Joyrider, bombing fields where the bubble flowers grew and their zombied owners were tending them, Mr. McDuck was, in the limo, bombing Flower shop and zombied florists.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Beakly and Webby found the school gardener, Mr. Greenjeans and de-zombiefied him and his helpers.
But Magica soon struck back. Magica got zombified "people" to spray bubble flower perfume at Mr. McDuck and the Trins at a florist's. They went under and would of stayed under, but fortunetly zombies are clumsy. One of the zombies accidently hit the cash register with his elbow. The cash register opened with a "Ding!" That lovely sound, plus the smell of money, snapped Mr. McDuck out of it.
This particlar florist had an oblivious sideline: he also sold fancy chocolates. Mr. McDuck grabbed and opened a box made by a company he owns. The box had an electronic doohickey on it that, when the box was opened, played the company's jingle. That familiar tune and the smell of chocolate snapped the boys out of it.
The zomified people seeing their attempts to zomifiy (some of) our heroes had failed waited for further instructions from Magica. Once "awake", Huey had an idea: he turned the knobs on the refrigerated compartments in the florist's (used to keep cut flowers fresh) and turned them to "icy cold". Then he opened the compartments doors wide open. The temperture plunged. Soon, EVERYBODY was sneezing like mad.
Soon the angry dezombiefied "people", once the situation had been explained to them, were destroying all the bubble flowers. The flowers were dug up and then burned. Once the last of the bubble flowers were destroyed, anybody who had still been "under" was dezombiefied. Magica, of course, had made herself scarce.
"At least the last of the bubble flowers are gone." Launchpad said.
"True. And that's got to be the first time the world been saved from a hostile takeover because of hayfever!" Mr. McDuck said.
The End.
1)It's a joke. Appearently, even Magica has cable.
I know Magica was around before Bullwinkle, Rocket J. Squrrel or Natasha Fatale.
(2)Mrs. Beakly is STILL trying to get the Rose Society to forgive her for the Bubba incident
(3)Yes, I'm old enough to have watched "Captain Kangaroo" when I was little. He taught me how to tie my shoe.
(4) Watch: "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". The Original version.
(5) See Disney's "Ducktales" comics, starting from issue #1. Or "Scrooge's Quest"
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