Previously:
"Sorry," Jack apologized. "I just think you need to talk to her. I think she'll listen. She was devastated when you died. Give her a chance to be happy that you are alive."
Ella and Daniel
That night, Daniel found himself in front of Ella's one story house. He hadn't called. He just asked Jack for the address and drove over before he lost his courage. It had taken him several moments to get out of the car. He remembered Ella's temper. He knew how close he had come to getting hit last night. Now he stood at her door. He had reached out to knock at least five times but each time he pulled back. What would he say to her? How could he apologize for the last year? And last night? Finally he sucked up his courage and reminded himself that he wanted Ella back in his life, however mad she might be at the moment. He knocked. The door opened instantly.
She leaned on the doorframe giving him an exasperated look. "What? Recently resurrected from the dead, possibly zombified ex-lovers don't call before they come over?"
Of all the possible greetings that Daniel had prepared himself for, this one had not come up. At a loss, he could only reply, "I'm not a zombie."
"Prove it."
"What?"
"You say you're not a zombie. Prove it before I let you into my house." Ella didn't move from the door.
"I have no desire to eat your brains," Daniel ventured.
Ella considered his response for a moment before she moved. "Good enough. Come on in." She led him down her short front hall to the cozy living room. Her cat jumped up on the couch and yelled for attention.
"Hey, Tink. How ya' been?" Daniel sat down next to the marmalade cat and gave him a good deep scratching.
"You remember my cat's name?" Ella asked in annoyance. "24 hours ago, you didn't know who I was."
Feeling oddly guilty, Daniel looked up at the tall woman. "Sorry. I never know when or how things are going to come back to me."
Ella felt awkward, standing in the middle of her room. Her bravado was slipping. Daniel was here and she had no idea what to do or say. It was like having a very familiar stranger in front of her. "Would you like a drink?"
"Sure. Do you have any coffee?" Daniel asked.
She smiled slightly. "Yes. Funny, I just started buying it again." She headed towards the kitchen. She could think a little clearer now that she wasn't looking at the reality of Daniel, back from the dead. She felt some of her humor returning. "You know, I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to knock on that door. You pulled up 20 minutes ago."
"You heard me?" Daniel spoke up from the other room. "Why didn't you just open the door?"
"Why didn't you just knock?" Ella muttered to herself. Louder, she responded, "The zombie thing had me worried." She scooped grounds into the newly purchased coffee pot.
Alone with the cat, Daniel tried to work this distant woman into the warm memories he had of Ella. It seemed that Tink had accepted him with no reservations and had curled up on Daniel's lap into a tight orange colored ball. Daniel wished he knew what the other redhead planned on doing.
"It'll take a moment." Ella rejoined him and perched on the arm of her easy chair. She looked as uncomfortable as a person could when sitting in her own house.
"Ella," Daniel said softly, "I'm sorry." It never hurt to start with an apology.
"For what?" She wasn't looking at him.
"For…everything, I guess." This was not going as Daniel had wanted it to.
Her eyes seemed very green when she turned to face him. "Where were you?"
Damn. "Ella, I can't tell you where I was. It's all-"
"Classified." She finished the sentence with him. "Shit." Ella muttered. She stood and walked over to the window, her back to him.
"There was always so much that you wouldn't tell me," she continued. "I knew it. You were good. You'd always skillfully switch the conversation back to me and I would forget my questions. But I'm not stupid. Of course, I have to say that I could not believe it when I found out that you worked for the military. That still makes no sense. But back then I accepted the fact that you kept secrets. And then one day, you stopped calling." Wrapping her arms around herself, she turned to face him, showing her anger for the first time that night. "Do you remember me? And us? Or are you just here because Jack O'Neill said you should come?"
"I'm here because I remember you. No one sent me."
She glared at him for several seconds. "I didn't think too much about it, at first. Not hearing from you. Even after a month went by. We had gone that long before without talking. But then a second month passed and a third. And then your phone was turned off. That scared me. I wanted to call Jack, but I just couldn't, yet. And then one night I had this dream. You were standing in the desert, surrounded by this red sand. It was blood-red sand Daniel. You said, 'This is where I am Ella. You won't find me here.' When I woke up, I couldn't feel you anywhere. You were gone. You weren't in my books; you weren't in the shirt you had left here. You were well and truly gone. I went to your apartment and let myself in. Everything was empty. Someone had taken you away and I didn't know what had happened!" Ella was crying by now, curling in towards herself.
Daniel could not take it anymore. He lifted the protesting cat off of his lap and went over to his old friend. He put his arms around her. For a second she resisted, tensing, but then she reached for him as well. They wrapped around each other and it felt right. They reconnected, remembering what the other felt like, smelled like. It had been far too long.
Ella sighed a little as she rested her head on Daniel's shoulder. "God, you suck," she said.
"Me? What did I do?" He was not ready to let go yet.
Ella leaned back and punched him on the shoulder, not as lightly as Daniel would have preferred. "You died, you idiot. Whatever actually happened, I thought you were dead. And if that doesn't qualify you as sucking hardcore, I don't know what does."
"I am sorry, Ella."
"I know." She reached up and kissed his forehead, savoring the feel of him. "Let me get your coffee." Her mind felt a little whirly as she walked to the kitchen. She started to dig around for the mug that she had shoved out of sight a year ago. She prepped his coffee and poured a large glass of wine for herself, carrying both back to the living room. Daniel was standing in front of her overstuffed bookcases, looking through her collection. "That mess is all your fault you know. When I met you, I was barely literate. And if my own books weren't a big enough problem, after Jack met me, he sent me some of your collection. Things he thought I might like."
Daniel was absurdly pleased to see the ugly yellow mug that said, "Archeology: Can You Dig It?" with a goofy happy face. "I remember that mug!" he laughed.
"I would hope so. It was a Christmas gift from me the first Christmas we were both here. I buried it away last year, but I couldn't bring myself to throw it out."
Daniel continued to look at the books. "Some of these do look familiar."
"Well, you'll have to come back some day and reclaim the ones that you want." She took a healthy sip from her glass while they sat down on the couch. "I missed you Daniel. Nobody that I knew even knew you. I told my coworkers that my former foster brother had passed on, but that wasn't all that I had lost. Many times I almost called Jack O'Neill just so I had someone to talk about you with, but I couldn't. Jack was really nice to me when I met him, but…So, can you tell me anything? Do you even know what happened?"
"Truthfully, I don't know a lot. There is about a year's worth of time that I don't think will ever come back to me. One day, I just woke up in a village. They took care of me, fed me, named me, even. I just helped them with work, foraging for food and stuff like that."
"'Foraging for food'? Where on Earth were you?"
"Ella, I really don't want to lie to you and I just can't tell you. Please understand."
"Sorry, you're right. I slipped." She gave him a long speculative look. "What did they name you?"
"They called me 'Arom.' In their language it meant 'naked one.' My first memories were waking on the ground, cold . Everything felt wrong, but I had nothing to compare it to. I didn't know what 'right' felt like." The fact is that at that point Daniel had been stripped of every emotional and mental defense he had ever had. He was naked in every sense of the word. But, judging by the worried crease on Ella's forehead, this was not the time to go into that. Most people just laughed when he told them the name. "Anyway, they named me that because I was left there with no clothes."
Now she looked really concerned. He used to be better at making her laugh, he was sure of it. "Were you hurt?" she asked.
"No, no. I was fine," he rushed to assure her. "Better than fine. I was in perfect health, except for the glasses. And I didn't even know that I needed them. I just figured that was how everyone saw things."
Ella was having a very hard time wrapping her mind around all of this. Where could he have gone that no one had ever heard of glasses? Was he with some lost tribe in the Himalayas? How had he gotten there? She knew that he was telling all that he could, but she wanted to know more.
Daniel watched her emotions dance across her face. This was a lot for anyone to take in and he couldn't even tell her half of it.
"What about now?" Ella asked. "A day ago, you had no idea who I was. Now you're sitting on my couch. Do you remember us? Do you remember when we were kids? When we were…adults?"
Daniel smiled at her question. "I think I remember most of it." His eyes were so warm and rich that Ella feared her heart would break. Oh, she needed to tell him now. She turned away for another fortifying sip of wine.
"Ella," Daniel said. "There is something I need to ask." She turned back so she could look at him. His smile was gone.
"What is it, Daniel?"
"What happened in the closet?" As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted asking like that. A while ago, Jack had accused him of loosing no small measure of tact and delicacy when Daniel had been ascended. It seemed it had not all returned.
Ella's color dropped to gray and a tinge of panic trickled through her eyes. "Why are you asking me that, now?" She pulled out of his reach.
"You've never told me, have you? Why?" Daniel couldn't stop the questions from coming.
She jumped off the couch and started to pace. "I never told you because you were there. You know all you needed to know. You're not my fucking therapist, Daniel. Can we please stop having this conversation?"
He held up his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry, Ella. I'm sorry. I should not have asked like that." He tried to explain. "In my head, it's like some of this just happened yesterday. The emotions. Everything. It's all still there and fresh. I don't have the perspective of time. I just remembered this awful thing and I know what I think but I don't know for sure and – I'm sorry. I had no right to dump this on you with everything else."
Ella looked slightly mollified. "It's just that that was a long time ago, Daniel. For both of us. I worked through all that years ago. We are more than the sum of the bad things that happened to us as children. I am not a little girl anymore and you don't have to worry about this. Okay?"
As he looked up at her, Daniel could honestly believe that Ella had thrived despite her childhood. But there was still something he wanted to say. "Ella, I am so sorry that I let him hurt you."
"Daniel, no." She was shocked at what he said. She went and sat next to him again, taking his hands into her own. "It wasn't your fault. None of it. You did everything you could to protect me. You got me out of there! When I remember those years, you were my hero. What happened to me," she squeezed his hands tighter, "what happened to both of us happened because Brian was a sick little bastard. That's what those kind of people do."
He believed her. Her words were so similar to what Jack had said that Daniel was amused. The he remembered what Teal'c had also said. "Can I ask one more question?"
She heaved a deep sigh and smiled wryly. "Sure, one more."
"Is it possible that you never told me because you were afraid that something might happen to me?"
Ella went very still. Her face was unreadable. "I never thought of it that way."
"So…was that the reason?"
Ella stared at him silently for a long time. "I don't know. Maybe. After my mother, I just knew what happened when little girls told the truth. And I was so scared of Brian. I knew what he could do to you." She shook her head and took a deep breath. "After we grew up, I knew that somehow your world was dangerous. You would come over here and have bruises, or your arm in a sling. I would have done anything to keep you safe. Maybe, somehow, I thought that I could." They wrapped each other in a hug. It seemed that they could not stop touching.
As Ella rested her head on Daniel's chest, she heard his heart beating, reveling in the miracle of him being alive. It was time to tell him. "Daniel, I missed you. So much. I missed having you in my life. Even those years that we didn't talk, just knowing that you were out there, doing what you wanted to do, made me happy. And when we met out here, well…it was great. Just being your friend was enough. I mean, I know thing changed over time, and don't get me wrong, the sex was great. Especially what you got." She heard him chuckle, softly. "But I just wanted you back. I wanted you to knock on my door and tell me some incredibly boring archeology fact or make me watch some tedious documentary." She tilted her head up and looked into his eyes. "You are my friend and my family and I missed that."
"I missed you too. Even when I thought that I had most of memories back, I felt like something was missing. It was you." Daniel lowered his head and kissed her lightly on the lips.
She closed her eyes, savoring his taste. But: "Daniel, I've met someone."
It took Daniel a moment to register her words. "What?"
She sat up, biting her lip. "I met someone."
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Oh. Okay. Wow." He didn't know how to respond to this. "And you - "
"I love him." She smiled a little. "I think you would like him. He's a scientist, teaches astrophysics at the college. And he's so smart. I seem to go for the guys with the brains."
Daniel tried to figure out what he felt about this. Ella, his best friend, his "little sister", was in love. With someone else. Well, what had he expected when he came over here tonight? He had been gone for over a year. And what had he really wanted? He'd remembered enough by now to know that his relationship with Ella had had its limits. It had been wonderful in every phase and exactly what they both needed and wanted at that time. But where should they go now?
There was fear in Ella's eyes. Fear that Daniel would be hurt or angry. Fear that he would leave and she would lose him again, this time for good. He couldn't stand to see that look. He smiled at her. "So you like him, huh?"
"Very much."
"Is it serious?" He gave his best "big brother" voice.
"If he doesn't ask me to marry him soon, I'm asking him."
Now that was a surprise. "Marriage? Are you kidding me?"
Ella laughed out loud. "I know, I know. I know what I have always said. But something about Alex… Everything I thought I never wanted, a husband, a child, it turns out I want. With him."
Hearing that hurt, just a little. But he could handle it. "Alex? That's his name?"
Her smile got bigger. "Dr. Alexander Portmanoy. I know, it's an awful name. But he is not as geeky as it sounds. Okay, well he's pretty geeky, but I like that in a guy." Ella paused and looked pensive. "Daniel, I had to let you go for this to happen. And that was the hardest thing I have ever done. When I saw you, I got confused. But when I needed someone last night, he was the only one I wanted. That's when I knew."
"Ella, when I came over here tonight, I had no idea what was going to happen. We have always been more than 'just friends.' You were my first crush, and my best friend and often a total pain in my ass. And I don't think any of that will change. What we have is special." He paused to get his emotions in check. Ella had turned into an amazing woman and Daniel would make sure that this "Alex" knew that. "So, once I meet this guy and approve of him you may get married to him if that is what you really want.".
"I 'may get married to him'? What the hell does that mean?" Ella asked, annoyed.
Smug faced, Daniel pulled her into a hug. "I'm just saying, I'll be the judge on whether or not he's good enough for you." He looked long and hard into her face. "And I'll make sure that he knows that if he ever hurts you, you have friends in the military. And I don't just mean me. Jack liked you a lot." Daniel was making a mental note to have this guy checked out. Ella was his family. Daniel was only doing what any big brother would do.
She smiled warmly up at him. "I am safe with Alex. Trust me." The she gave a wicked smirk. "And just so you know, he's great in bed."
"Ack!" Daniel screamed, hands over his ears. Ella was giggling wildly. "TMI, Ella. TMI! Did not need to hear that!"
"Sorry," she laughed, clearly not. "I just wanted to make you laugh."
"You know, our relationship is just weird. You are just weird!" Daniel continued to protest while Ella laughed. Once she calmed down, he tried to ask her a serious question. "And this is what you really want?"
"Yes. But I want you in my life. He knows about you. What you and I have been to each other through the years. He wants to meet you."
"Well. Wow. My god you are going to get married. So? Tell me more about him."
She groaned. "Okay, okay. He and I met after you – whatever. I was so not looking for someone but what can you do? He has black hair and he's tall. He's an astrophysicist so I can't understand much of what he does. But I love when he talks about work." She looked a little dreamy for a second. "Of course in this town, he does occasionally contract out with the government and the base. I don't ask about that. It's easier on my nerves. But, I love him. I feel so lucky. And it's nice that he seems to like me to."
Daniel could hear the joy in Ella's voice. Here was a love that would be there for her every night. Someone who would share his work with her and his life. What more could Daniel have asked for her? But, Daniel kept his arms around Ella. For now, it still felt right.
They stayed on the couch, arms around each other, for hours. They talked about old times, laughing over events no one but them knew about. After a long time, Daniel realized it was time to go to his own home. Ella asked him to wait. She had one more question for him.
"When Alex and I get married, would you…would you walk me down the aisle?"
Daniel's face split into a huge grin. "Yes! I would be honored to."
"Thanks. I am afraid that my side of the church is going to look pretty sparse compared to his big family."
Ah yes, the eternal struggle of the orphan. Family events. Daniel knew where she was coming from far too well. "I might be able to scrounge up a few guests for you. Of course, remember, this is all contingent on my approval." He added impishly.
"Oh, right, of course." She walked him to the door.
In the entryway they stopped. In each other's faces, they could read pages of their own lives. Daniel went to kiss her on the cheek.
"Wait," she said. "If this is going to be our last kiss, let's make it count." So he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lips. It was a sweet remembrance of the past that held the promise of the future.
The End.