What if...
Disclaimer: I don´t own any characters or anything.
Summary: Kate made a choice about her life and now wonders if it was the right one.
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Chapter 3: Moving on
When I look up again, there is something I have never seen before. The great Jethro Gibbs, former hard-as-rock-marine-now-always-grumpy-special-agent, has tears in his eyes. "Okay." He says with a smile and puts me back onto my feet. I can´t believe this is actually happening. "Tony, call the colonel, we´ll move that interview to tomorrow." He tells Dinozzo over my shoulder, who just walks over to the SUV. From the way he walks, I can see that he´s happy.
"I...I need to get some stuff and...and I have to get J.T´s stuff and..." I start and he puts a finger on my mouth.
"Don´t worry...who is J.T?" He asks after a moment and gives me a puzzled look. This is what I´m almost more scared of than anything before, but he´s got a right to know. I should have told him right away, but I was too scared. I´m still scared and I don´t know how to tell him. I don´t know if I can.
I turn to the truck and lift the little boy out of his carrier. He squeals with delight when I take him out. "Special Agent Gibbs, meet J.T. Todd." I introduce him and hope that I can put the rest off until we´re somewhere else. It doesn´t seem to fit into a parking lot to tell him that he´s got a son.
"Oh..." Is all he says and then smiles, watching how J.T. is reaching for his basecap.
It takes about an hour to get back to Lost Lake. Tony pulls the SUV up next to my truck and they get out. When I get out of the truck, I hear someone calling my name. It´s McGee, who has been sitting in the back of the SUV. He´s bouncing of the walls when he sees me and gives me a hug. "Kate...oh my word, it´s really you. I thought it was just one of Tony´s jokes." He says and smiles. He seems to have grown up somehow. I know that he hasn´t been probie for a long time, but that´s how I still see him somehow.
I hand him a bag with groceries and take J.T. out of the truck. "Could you two get the stuff inside?" I ask Tony and he just nods. He knows that I haven´t finished what I had started and pulls McGee into the cabin. Gibbs is standing on the porch, looking around. He turns to me when he hears me walk up. J.T. has fallen asleep in my arms. "I can really come back?" I ask him carefully and hope that he will still say yes.
He looks at me for a few seconds. "If I say yes, will you tell me the whole story?" He asks and sits down on the porch. "Where´s his dad? Working?"
"In a way, yes. J.T. is just what I call him, because it´s not so long." I start and then take a deep breath. "When he was born, I decided to name him for his dad, you know."
Gibbs smiles and watches J.T. for a moment. "That is a nice thing to do. If I had to guess, I would say T is for Thomas." He says and I feel my heart beating like mad. The inevitable comes rushing up to me and I know I can´t put it off any longer.
"In fact, you´re right." I take another deep breath and try to choose the next words very carefully. "That´s for his grandpa, my dad that is..." I hesitate again for a second. "J is for Jethro." Well, it´s out now and I look into his blue eyes. There is a something like shock in them.
Disbelief is plainly on his face now. "But..." He starts, but doesn´t go on. He looks at his son and at me again. "Why didn´t you tell me?" His voice is calm and I suddenly know that he´s not angry. Only shocked.
"I was scared. You´ve been married 3 times and you never seemed terribly comfortable around children. If anybody had found out, they would have kicked either of us from the team. And most of all, there´s rule 12." I´m not sure how or why, but suddenly I don´t need to search for those words anymore. They just seem to come out of me by themselves. It´s rather cold, a typical afternoon in late January, but I don´t feel the cold wind today.
I know that I have my life back now. We will leave for Washington in two days. I have sold the cabin the following morning. Somehow, I´m happy about how things have developed, eventhough I can´t stop thinking about what might have been, if I had left that parking lot before Tony had noticed me. What if I had done that? I don´t know and I actually don´t want to know. This time I´m sure I made the right choice.
END
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Thanks to everyone who reviewed the story. I hope you liked the end as well as the beginning. I had to finish it, since this idea wouldn´t leave me alone anymore.