If I Were a Herald
Chapter 12
Matchmaker, Matchmaker
Disclaimer: The song is from the play "Fiddler on the Roof." The dance is based on Halloween PCP at New College in the year 2005. Unfortunately I was unable to dance to the song "Satisfaction" because I was all the way across campus at the Four Winds Café, handing out tickets to alums. But I could still hear it. Beyond that, any resemblance to real people and places is entirely coincidental.
Nawyn: I have put your sn on my buddy list. As soon as I notice that you're on im, I will endeavor to send the songs to you. Which ones would you like? I have "Call of the Ocean," "Proud to be a Buccaneer," "Hurricane Frances," "A Heart Forever is Broken," "Daughter of a Pirate," "Death and His Shadow," "Someday," and "I'm Coming Home." If you're on before you read this, I'll just ask you then.
Fireblade K'Chona: I figure Vanyel made an appearance because he was bored. I mean, no matter how awesome Stefen and Yfandes are, if they're all the company a person has for centuries on end, that can get very boring. And Mercedes Lackey said that if The Last Herald-Mage ever became a movie (or trilogy of movies), Johnny Depp would be the ideal actor to play Vanyel. And I'm not a Herald yet. The circuit was the final piece of my training before I became a Herald. And what do you mean about what my exploits will do to Valdemar?
I posed in front of the mirror, admiring the way my brand-new Whites hugged my figure. The color didn't suit me at all—somehow, through some quirk of fate, I didn't look good in white—but if one ignored that detail, I actually looked rather striking.
After that one incident in the Forest of Sorrows, Circuit had gone quite smoothly. I'd even done something of a journeyman piece for Bardic, an extra assignment the Dean of that Collegium had set for me to do. A year up in the freezing north—I swear, it was even cold up there during the summer months—and then back to Haven as a full Herald, my training period having come to an end.
Stefany met me coming out of my new room. "Welcome back, Herald Kali." She grinned, taking in my uniform, while I preened under her attention. "Me and a couple of the other Bardics have decided to throw a party in your honor. Since you really are more one of us than a Herald. But you'll have to sing whatever songs you came up with on the journey, and any new songs you learned."
"Will do," I agreed eagerly. Gradually my stage fright had dissipated over the course of my classes at Bardic, and now performing was pure joy.
The next person to intercept me was Jorjie. "So how'd it go?" she asked, as if she feared the answer. "Did you and Corwin, er, you know?"
I assured her that we didn't make love, have sex, screw, or fuck. The virgin's blood was still on the inside of this particular virgin. "Come on. The Bardics are throwing a party, and it just won't be the same if you're not there. I have to wear my Whites, but you can wear my ball gown. It's absolutely lovely. Just a bit too small for me, but it should fit you just fine." A bit too small may have been an understatement. The fact was, the thing fit me like a corset, and the first time I wore it the seams came apart in the back, and I had to repair it the next morning, once I'd sobered up. I'd gotten it from the free table. Go figure.
Jorjie looked great in the dress. Its baby blue color suited her eyes, which were the same color and shone with some internal light. Her delicate features were framed by soft platinum-blonde hair. She looked delicate, as if a gust of wind could blow her away.
"I just wish I could've gone in your place," she sighed. "It's not fair, I tell you. I've been here far longer than you, yet you're already a Herald and I'm still in my Grays."
"Thought you didn't want to grow up."
"Yeah, well, sometimes we have to eat our words."
I shook my head. "Trust me, you didn't want to be there. Talk about freezing. You'd have been an ice cube straight down to your bones. I wasn't much better off."
"You think Corwin might notice me in this dress?"
"I think he'll be blind if he doesn't."
"But you're going to outshine everyone in your new Whites," Jorjie said despairingly.
I rolled my eyes and laughed. "That's ridiculous. White is so not my color. I'd much rather be wearing green or black."
"Oh, shut up. You look great in anything. I bet you'd even look great with dirt covering your face."
"Better than I look now," I half-agreed. Sure I looked great in mud, but that didn't mean I'd look great in anything. I was just one of those natural people, more at ease in a forest than a fancy ball. "Come on. Party's about to start."
As soon as we stepped outside, I was hit with a frigid blast of wind. God, it was cold. Goosebumps formed on my arms under my uniform. At least I had that. The dress that Jorjie wore had those shoulder-sleeve contraptions, and left her arms bare. She did have a shawl to go over it, but that wasn't much protection against the elements.
The party got off to a good start. Someone had gotten together a concoction of something I didn't really recognize, but it tasted good. "What's in this?" I asked.
"Well," my artificer friend Rachel replied, "I remembered that you liked rum, spices, and hot sauce, so I put those in, plus some of the better girly drinks they make around here." She listed them, but I didn't recognize any names.
Then the music started. The first song was a bardified version of Benny Benassi's "Satisfaction." I held my drink in one hand while I booty-danced to the rhythm. One of the younger Heralds—I'd seen him around, but couldn't remember his name—came up behind me and started grinding against my butt. I, being the blushing virgin that I was, pressed my back against his chest.
"I heard that you wrote this song," he shouted in my ear. The music was loud. As loud as they usually played it at Walls, when it could be heard all the way from Palm Court to the Four Winds Café, which was on the other side of campus, and a ten minute walk on foot.
"Didn't write it," I yelled back. "But I did introduce it. It's very popular among the teenagers back in my homeland."
I could feel his grin. "Just how many bawdy songs do you know?"
"A lot," I replied. "That's how we liked them back home. If they weren't about sex they weren't worth listening to."
His arm snaked around my waist and began to caress my stomach through the material of my Whites. His body warmth seeped through my clothes to warm my torso.
I took another swallow of the rum and hot sauce mix. Good stuff. On a whim, I downed the rest of my glass.
About a minute later, I could feel the alcohol hit my stomach. It went straight to my head from there. At least my face was warm now. It felt hot, almost feverish. It was almost like there was a bright light shining between my eyes.
Inhibitions and good judgment abandoned me as the rum had its way with my brain. I ground my butt against his pelvis and arched my neck to give him access to the skin. His hands ran up and down my arms, warming them, as he sucked on my neck and ear. It felt good, but didn't turn me on.
At the change of songs, I turned around so that I faced him. "What's your name?" I asked.
"Adam," he replied. "You're Herald Kali, right?"
"Right."
As the music began again, Adam pulled me flush against his body. Our foreheads touched, then he angled his head for a kiss. His tongue probed against my lips, seeking entrance, which I denied. Sorry, mate. I'm not interested in sex. You want a screw, find yourself another girl.
:You are absolutely hopeless, you know that: Lyrna commented to me.
:Oh, absolutely:I assured her, using Mindspeech because my mouth was busy.:Always have been, always will be.:
A lively jig began to play. It was one of the dances I'd learned in the dream. But that was impossible. Even so, the people were dancing in recognizable patterns. I swung from Adam to another partner, then to a third. At the end of the song, I found myself at the edge of the dancers. There, off to the side, was Jorjie. She wasn't dancing, and was very carefully not watching Corwin, who also wasn't dancing. He, in turn, was very carefully not watching Jorjie, as he spoke to another trainee, a girl of about fifteen years.
:Methinks our dear Jorjie is lovesick: Lyrna observed.
"Yeah, I'd noticed that. Why isn't her Companion acting the matchmaker for her?"
:She is, but Jorjie's not listening.:
"Well, then, I guess it's up to us."
:That's my girl. Just go tell Corwin to ask Jorjie for a dance.:
With a slight amount of trepidation, I approached Corwin. I really shouldn't have been nervous. Hell, I was drunk. Well, tipsy. I really shouldn't dignify my condition with the appellation of drunk.
"Heyla, Corwin."
The trainee who'd been speaking with him glared daggers at me for my interruption. Probably jealous, I mused. She'd had hot-bod Corwin all to herself, and now here I was, the Herald who'd gone with him on circuit.
"Heyla, Kali." He made a motion for the trainee to leave us. With a final glare in my direction, she left. "So how does it feel to have earned your Whites?"
I made a face. "Awful. The color totally doesn't suit me."
He laughed heartily at that comment, and stole a glance at where Jorjie still stood.
"Why don't you just ask her to dance?" I asked.
He shook his head. "No, I can't do that. She's been ignoring me."
I rolled my eyes. "Just ask the girl to dance. I think she's just put off that I got to spend all those long cold nights in your questionable company. Yo, Jorjie!"
Her head swiveled in our direction.
"Corwin wants to dance with you!" I grabbed Corwin and dragged him over to where my friend stood, then practically shoved them onto the dance floor.
:Not exactly what I had in mind: Lyrna grumbled.
"Yeah, well, at least they're dancing," I said proudly, surveying my accomplishment. "Hey, look, now they're kissing." Suddenly I felt an emptiness in the general vicinity of my heart. I had no one. There wasn't even anyone here that I liked, and Lord knew I tried. Adam was cute, but he was too forward. He wanted sex, and I wasn't ready to give that. James wasn't bright enough. Mikel was too short. Kissing didn't work properly when the guy was shorter than the girl. A girl trying to find herself the perfect man is like trying to find Atlantis.
:Now they're leaving: Lyrna said. :I wonder where they're going:
"Looks like Jorjie's going to have to eat her boots. She told me she'd do that if she ever did that with a guy."