A House Fan-Fic
entercreativename
author's note: I am not the creator or owner of the characters mentioned in this story. I am instead a poor college student with no money or no hope of money. I wrote this story as a means of exploring the characters in the show, not for profit, notoriety, or other self-assuring means.
Chapter 16 - Awakening
House, being thoroughly amused at his recent adventure in Chase's expensive Mercedes convertible, arrived back at his office rather pleased. He had solved Chase's case, found his history, and managed to stay out of the clinic for a couple of days. One thing had been bothering him though. Since hiring Chase, he had never been able to tell if Chase had recognized him or not from that day in Sydney. Not that it mattered, but he wondered at times and wanted to know.
He stood outside Chase's room and looked around. No one really saw him standing there. This was good, no one would know how much he actually cared. He took one more look around to make sure no one was watching and walked into the room.
Inside, a still-comatose Chase was in bed. It looked as if he was asleep, aside from the monitors around him beeping. House hated visiting his patients, it always reminded him of how close to death he had been at one time, and how he actually welcomed it to come. To this day, he wished it would have.
He noticed the blinds were open. Cameron must have done that. He also noticed the flowers scattered about the room from various nurses, and the biggest bouquet from Cameron as well as several stuffed animals. If she could only have seen those used condoms at his place, House thought as he closed the blinds between the hallway and Chase's room. He could never understand how a hospital could legally have glass walls, even though it made for some fun at times. He figured though, that at this point, Chase would want his privacy, and some semblance of dignity.
Dignity. He remembered a patient once telling him that she wanted to die with dignity. There really was no such thing when it came to the infirm and the dying. "Bodies break down.." he told her, "…sometimes when we're 90, sometimes before we're even born, but it always happens and there's never any dignity in it. I don't care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass. It's always ugly, always. You can live with dignity, we can't die with it." That was ages ago it seemed. Even trying to prank-call Chase seemed like ages ago. He really did care.
He walked closer to the bed, noting that the ventilator had been removed and Chase was breathing on his own, which was a good sign. He took a chair from the corner and moved it close to the bed and looked at Chase. House closed his eyes and thought for a moment; visions of seeing then boy-Chase in front of him in Australia came flooding into his mind. For once he really didn't know what to say, but he figured he should try as this may be the only time he could get the issue off his chest.
House looked down at Chase, not knowing how to start, and then he finally found something. "You probably wonder why I hired you." He stopped, almost expecting a response from the boy, now man, lying in front of him.
"I hired you because I saw potential in you. I saw issues too, but I first saw potential, and I see that in you, I see that in Cameron, and I see that in Foreman. Difference is that I first saw it in you in 1991 in Sydney.
"It was the end of my own fellowship when I first met you. You were still a boy, young, and you came into my exam room and out-witted and controlled me. Never before that day had I followed through on my own ethics, it had always been society's ethics that I had to follow. That day was the first time I knew that I needed to follow up on you."
It was becoming easier. It was like writing in his blog, but he knew his audience didn't hear what he was saying. He looked up for a moment and saw the IV-angiotensin II was almost empty. If he was correct about his diagnosis, he needed to finish what he was saying soon so Chase wouldn't know he cared.
"You almost got me fired you know, actually, you did get me fired. That day, after you fled the clinic, your father came out and ordered me to his office where I was made to feel six inches tall. Oh, centimeters in Aussie speak. And I looked at him and told him exactly what I thought of him, and he told me what he thought of you. At that point, I knew. I saw myself as you. We are identical, and I don't want you to turn into me.
"We both have fathers who don't care, and by hiring you, I wanted you to be like my son, and I like a father. I'll never have children, I'll never live the dream that everyone tries to live. Who am I kidding? My life is this hospital and the patients that enter it, my body is damaged, and I am vulnerable beyond all belief. I don't want that for you. You need to love someone, anyone, and soon before you become old and bitter, hating the world and looking forward to the day you die, just so you can end the suffering that has become your life."
House stopped and hoped that Chase hadn't heard it. But then, he also wanted Chase to know this, he wanted Chase to know that he cared.
"The three of you have confronted me about how I treat each of you, and, to be quite frank, I try to tell myself that it is tough-love of sorts. How else will you learn? That's how I learned from your father. I know there's a better way, but it's too late for me to figure out something else. I just want the three of you to be the best doctors and diagnosticians that you can, and I know that each of you will, with help from me of course.
"For a majority of my professional life, I have lived under the influence of your father. I tried to be him. It drove me nuts that no matter how hard I tried, I was not that man. I even lost sleep over it.
"I guess what I'm trying to say and do is to find out if you really do remember that day back in Sydney?"
House stopped and realized he had just asked a question to a comatose man. He closed his eyes and considered getting up. Foreman and Cameron were probably trying to find him, and he left his pager turned off, and he really didn't want to be found here in Chase's hospital room talking to him while he was unconscious.
"I remember."
Two simple words aroused House from his concentrated thought.
"What did you say?" House was in disbelief. Not only did Chase just wake up, but he remembered.
"I said I remembered. How did I get here?"
House looked at him and told him an exaggerated and fanciful version of what really happened; he knew Cameron and Foreman would really tell him the truth the next time they saw him. House ended with the question "So you remember?"
"Of course. I've felt guilty about getting you fired ever since. Then you hired me here, and I wasn't as worried, except I wondered if you hired me to get back at me. Thank you."
"For what?" House was puzzled. None of his coworkers ever thanked him. They usually just sneered about owing something to House when they needed something back in return. Hearing Chase thank him really hit House in ways he hadn't expected.
"Thank you for hiring me, thank you for saving me, and thank you for not firing me because of my father."
"I learned what I could from him. However, I do need to learn some things from you." House reached over and took Chase's chart from the end of his bed. Chase had managed to fill in House's questions and need for his history as accurately as possible after waking from a coma. However, there was more.
"I'm not finished yet Robert. I need to know who you are dating."
Chase had a puzzled look on his face. He didn't know why House needed to know, and he thought it wasn't his place to ask why. He swallowed hard and decided to ask the question anyway, even though he had heard House bear his soul to him, "Why do you need to know whom I am dating?"
House looked at him and said, "Curiosity."
Just at that moment, Foreman and Cameron came in, cheering that Chase was awake again. House looked at the two of them and left in silence with a small smile on his face. Chase was right, he really didn't need to ask to know that Chase was dating Sanford all along, especially after reading it in his diary he pilfered from Chase's overnight bag without anyone else knowing.
There was one more person he wanted to know more from.
With a smile on his face, he headed up to the office of his new favorite psychiatrist.