Thank you so much for leaving such nice reviews for this story, I'm really enjoying all this writing knowing there are people out there who like it :-) Special thanks to glindapenguin, moviegrrl and jennetj for betaing
How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core,
where I've become so numb
- Evanescence
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Rose found herself in her room, her pink pillows littered on the ground, eyeless pictures staring at her from the walls.
She knew something was wrong when she took a moment to consider the crimson light that seemed to ooze through the closed curtains, creating circles and sparks on the floor. It was hot... too hot. Like fever, hot clouds of air brushing every inch of her skin, keeping the warmth inside of her.
Having the nagging feeling in the back of her head that she had forgotten something, she opened her door, heading for the kitchen. She knew she needed to go to work soon, looking for someone she was not supposed to find. How come she had to think of plastic now?
Outside the light painted the entire flat in deep red, almost blinding her.
The room was empty, her mum nowhere to be seen, the telephone hanging limply over the sofa. It was too quiet, her thoughts so slow it felt like moving through tar.
Something was wrong.
The sound of the dialling tone followed her when she opened the kitchen door, finally finding her mum, having her back turned on her.
Something was very wrong.
She could clearly taste it, the smell of ash mixing with a flavour that reminded her of the air when lightning had hit a tree just outside the estate.
She took a step forward, calling to her mother, but the figure didn't move. She looked around and realized that not even the light seemed to move, nothing cast a shadow around her.
Like a moment frozen in time.
Even the dust particles shining like little burning stars seemed to be suspended in mid air, not moving. She looked close, but everything stood still. The nagging feeling got worse, fear started to grip her heart, turning her cold inside, although her skin felt like it was burning up.
She moved as slowly as her thoughts felt, spreading an arm, after an eternity reaching her mother's shoulder to turn her around.
A scream echoed through her brain. Who was screaming? She was alone in here.
She realized she herself was screaming, screaming and falling into darkness at the sight of her mother's dead face.
She woke with a start, heart hammering against her chest, breathing like she had just ran for miles. Her skin itching, hot to the touch although there was no sweat. She looked around and found herself on the same chair she spent the night on before, in his room again.
Just a dream.
For a second she thought she was falling again, then she was fully awake, gripping the chair just in case, looking into the eyes of the Time Lord lying on the bed in front of her. For some reason she knew that he had woken up just when she had.
"I'm sorry." His voice was weak again, hoarse as if he had been screaming too, trying hard to hide a sob behind his words.
"What for?"
"For that dream of yours. Heard you scream." He gestured at his head. "Time Lord thing, empathic, me."
"So you get inside my head while I'm dreaming?" she was still shaken, but she hadn't intended to sound that angry.
"It's not like that. Happens when I sleep, when I let go. A kind of wave."
He prodded himself up onto his elbows, looking around, by his frown directed at his body clearly only realizing just now that he actually lay under a duvet. He swung his legs over, sitting on the edge of the bed. Only the little wrinkles surrounding his eyes showed how tired he still was.
His look was shy, evading her startled gaze. She suddenly understood what made her see something horrible like that.
"What did you dream about?" His question pulled her out before she could fully understand.
"My mum... I think she was dead." she cleared he throat. "Very scary dream." She tried to smile, but the nightmare was still too fresh.
His voice was just a whisper, but his eyes met hers.
"I'm sorry. That's why I usually don't sleep."
She expected an awful quiet between the two of them now, as they both clearly didn't know how to continue, when Jack stepped in. He looked tired too, but when he saw the Time Lord was awake a glad smile covered up the traces of his sleep deprivation.
"Here you are again. Do me a favour, collapse onto me next time, will be much more fun for everyone." He contemplated about it before he added "Well, especially for me." He strolled in and patted Rose's head.
"Rosie here nearly got crushed."
"Won't happen again."
Jack's smile dissolved into concern again, she had seen nothing but that on him since she had cried out to him for help. Again.
"Doc, if I remember correctly you said that before."
The Time Lord tried to get up from the bed now, but Jack held him down, grasping his shoulder, pushing it down.
"I think we need some answers first." His grin had faded, Rose was reminded what Jack had done for a living before entering the con buisness.
"This is just a moment in time." his voice was low, but not faint like before, the hairs at her neck tickled her primordial senses for danger.
Jack held his gaze for a few seconds, then the Time Agent's jaw dropped and he let go of the shoulder like he'd burned himself. He panted.
The Doctor's voice sounded like a growl. "Don't touch me."
It got colder, darker, as if the TARDIS responded to the scene playing out inside of her. The Time Lord got up, making Jack step back, still flabbergasted.
"A moment I created. Did you know you wouldn't even exist without me? Time Agency. Like giving a monkey a loaded gun."
"Doctor, what's wrong?" He turned to Rose now, ignoring her scared look.
"You don't even remember, do you? The Reapers? The death you caused? Just because you thought it was a clever idea to meddle with destiny to save your father."
"I nev---" but he didn't let her defend herself. For the first time he was truly alien to her.
"Linear beings, never knowing anything. Forgetting, reliving, like nothing ever happened when the greatest storm washed over them."
Rose was shaking, the man in front of her was nothing like he used to be. Even his movements when he neared her seemed somewhat different. Smoother, like a tiger slowly cornering its prey.
Time seemed to slow around her as he suddenly moved forward, grabbed her throat and pushed her against the wall. It happened so fast that Jack hadn't even started toreact until Rose let out a shout of surprise.
Her surprise drifted away quickly, panic started to flow through her body, cold fearfilling her being. She desperately tried to get his hand away from her, but he held her with a tight grip. His eyes weren't blue anymore but deep black, long cold fingers were slowly squeezing even tighter. He brushed off Jack's attempt to help with an effortless movement of his arm, which sent the agent flying to the ground. It seemed to take ages for him to fall, his movement in slow motion.
Time seemed to stop, Rose and the alien pinning her to the wallthe only ones moving. Little red spots were starting to blur her vision, she couldn't breathe, the panic making her body tingle with even more fear.
He eyed her closely, as if fascinated by her struggle. He leaned close to her face, took a deep breath, looking at her, smelling her. A vicious smile ran over the edges of his mouth.
"A Reaper. That's what I am. You shouldn't be here. I have to fix this, here and now."
His eyes scared her even more than his grip, resonating with coldness and something else lurking in there. Something vicious, something she had seen before, deep down in Van Statten's base. He had pointed a gun at her then.
"You got no idea little ape, what I've seen, what I've done."
"Doctor, please-" was all she managed to say with a voice already hoarse and faint, using the little air she had left. Her world turned grey.
And suddenly his grip loosened, his face showed emotions again. Confusion at first, then realization as his eyes swept over his hand and finally her. Fear as he let her go and time seemed to speed up around them again. Colours returned. She didn't notice Jack finally hitting the floor, she was too busy gasping and coughing for air.
He was just standing there frozen, looking at his two companions. He couldn't muster the strength to look them in the eye.
"Good grace, I'm so sorry!" he offered Jack a hand and pulled him up onto his feet. Then he turned to Rose.
"Are you alright?"
She rubbed her throat and smeared away some tears "Yeah...think... so." her breathing sounded still ragged, her voice hitched.
"I'm so sorry." He took a step towards her, but she was recoiling instinctively. His face showed the hurt that caused, but then it changed into determination.
"Jack?" The Time Agent never turned his back on the Time Lord when he approached Rose and scanned her with his wristcomp. She saw that that made his hurt grow visible once more.
"She's alright, no permanent damage."
"Good. Take her to the med bay."
Without acknowledging them any further he stepped around them and left the room. They followed him after some moments of confusion, found him in the console room, just as he sent the time rotor moving. Seeing the questioning looks on their faces he took a careful step towards them, visibly struggling to keep his distance.
"Doctor?"
Rose wasn't interested in their destination, what concerned her were the slow movements that were so untypical for the Time Lord, who seemed to be bouncing and jumping whenever he could. Seeing him this motionless was even worse than seeing him unconscious.
"What was that?"
She imagined to hear him mumble something, but it was clearly not intended for them, but for the button on the console.
"This is too dangerous. You're not safe-- I'm not safe."
The time rotor stopped, the ship gave its usual shudder as it landed. He checked one of the monitors, then looking her into the eye he sternly added
"I'm taking you home. For good."