Pairing:
Bobby/Alex
Disclaimer: I
don't own, etc etc.
A/N: Facts: 1.
Bobby's mom is schizophrenic, institutionalized, and she gets a
weekly visit and a daily phone call from her son. 2. Bobby did say that preventing
someone from doing what they do best will drive them insane. 3. Bobby smokes sometimes. 4. And
sometimes Deakins be a considerate asshole. Facts; I used a lot of episode-real
morsels for this piece. You love it.
When Alex rolled over to answer the landline next to her bed that night, she was too sleepy to remember one crucial fact: she was not at home. Her hand closed around the receiver as she squinted at the clock: three fourteen am.
"Yeah."
"Is this Goren? Who is this?"
"What? Who- Captain?"
"Eames!"
"Yes, Captain."
"Eames, I don't know what you're doing at Goren's place this late at night, but we have a fresh triple homicide in Alphabet City right now, and I expect you both to be here very soon."
"Yes, sir."
"I also expect you to speak with me privately at my earliest convenience.
"Absolutely, sir."
"Call me as soon as you're in the area." Click.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit, Alex thought, adrenaline going from the late call and her stupid decision to answer. She started shaking Bobby, who was, for once, soundly asleep in his bed.
"Wake up," she said, gripping his shoulder. "We have to go downtown right now. Wake up. I did something I shouldn't have."
The next morning, after a long day and another relatively short night, Alex found herself seated in Deakins' office, tapping her foot nervously as he closed his door and the blinds on the windows which faced the main room.
"Eames, why did you answer the phone at Goren's apartment at three am yesterday? You two are adults, and I am highly reluctant to believe you are getting involved with each other. You are partners, in this office, in this precinct."
"Sir, I understand," she muttered, unable to actually answer his question as he continued his tirade.
"I don't think you do. I give you and Goren so many allowances in terms of investigative style, and now this? You have one of the best solve rates in the NYPD, for Christ's sake, don't make me split you two up because of a single after-work misstep."
"Sir, it wasn't- we're not trying to-"
"Jesus Christ, Eames. You want to get transferred back to Vice? You want to end up like your thief of a father from the 40th precinct? Can anyone in your family follow the goddamn internal rules?"
"What?" Alex's nervousness vanished at her captain's last statement. She rose to her feet and took a step back. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear that last part, sir," she said in a tone of quiet deliberation. Deakins quickly realized he had let his inner monologue get the best of him.
"I'm sorry, I-" he began, the expression on his face changing from righteous anger to sudden embarrassment.
"Captain, my father's indiscretions during his tenure on the force have nothing to do with Goren and I. And there are plenty of people in my family serving this city ethically as we speak. I don't think we need to resort to personal attacks to discuss this," Alex said coldly. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, almost thankful for Deakins' explosion of anger; it had flushed all the nerves and fear and uncertainty clear out of her system.
"My apologies."
"Captain, you reserve the right to handle this as you see fit. But if you decide to break us up, don't take Bobby off Major Case. Move me instead. Wherever. A desk job, a beat someplace, any precinct. Even back to Vice. But let Bobby stay with Major Case."
"Why? Why should I do that?" He asked, holding open his hands dramatically. He did not ask her to sit back down. She spoke looking down at him.
"You remember the case with the expatriated chess master? We arrested him in a gymnasium in the Bronx? You remember what Bobby said, there, after they led him away? "If you prevent someone from doing what they do best, they go insane." That's why I'd like you to move me and let Bobby alone. I can survive without this job. He can't."
"That's assuming I'm breaking you two up."
"It would be procedure," Alex murmured.
"I don't make decisions based on procedure alone, Eames," Deakins said, leaning back in his chair. "I'm also considering how much you and Goren bring to this department. We have one of the best solve and convict rates in the entire NYPD, mainly because of you. There is not a single team of detectives I know of who works quite like you two do. I've never even heard you use one another's first names in front of me, and now I find out you're sleeping together?" Deakins said, exasperated. "You are, right?" He added quickly, realizing he had been so angry he hadn't come out and directly asked Alex the key question.
"The last couple of months," Alex replied, unable to meet his eyes.
"For Christ's sake, why, Eames? Why put five years of partnership in jeopardy?"
"He's the loneliest person, Captain. No family, no friends, just his work and a mother in a mental hospital. He calls her every day and visits her every week. You and I have big families, Captain, can you imagine living like that? One woman in a hospital, and that's it?"
"No, I can't say that I can."
"And working with Bobby means even longer hours than dating. I've gotten to know him will. And I've cared about him these last five years, without ever breaking a fraternization regulation until rather recently. He's a remarkable person. We seem to fit each other well. It was a natural progression. Cautious, but natural. And we've made a monumental effort to go unnoticed."
"That much I can agree with."
"I don't think we could have stopped it. Do what you think is right, just please let Bobby stay here at Major Case. I'll take the blame and I'll take the relocation," she said, clasping her hands behind her and looking down.
"Eames, I haven't decided anything about relocation. You're dismissed for now. I know you have a lineup scheduled soon. Get back to work."
"Thank you, sir." Alex let herself out of his office and walked to her desk, pressing now-shaking hands together, trying to collect herself. She would be thinking about this confrontation all day. Your thief of a father. Transferred back to Vice. Bobby looked up instantly as she sat down across from him.
"What happened?"
"He needs to think about it."
"Think about it. Lineup in half an hour?"
"Yes."
"Let's take a walk."
"Sure." Alex cast a quick glance at Deakins' office. The door was closed and the blinds were still down. "He'll think we went down for the lineup early."
They took the stairs down, and when Alex turned to hold the door for Bobby as they exited the building through the back, she saw a lighter and cigarettes in his hands.
"You're really nervous about this, aren't you?" She asked him, eyeing the smokes. "I'm so sorry I answered the phone last night. I shouldn't have done it without thinking. I had just woken up," Alex said, as they walked through the lot behind the precinct building to the street. Bobby lit a cigarette and smoked nervously as she spoke.
"Alex, stop apologizing to me. What you did was accidental," Bobby interrupted her. He stopped walking and took a seat in the doorway of an apartment building. Alex leaned against the wall next to him and met his eyes.
"I told Deakins to move me and let you stay on with Major Case."
"Hopefully he'll move nobody. I'll have to get another partner, regardless of where they put me. God," Bobby mumbled, putting his head in his hands. "Maybe I should have become a PI after military intelligence."
"Don't say things like that," Alex replied.
"You know, I'm not going to leave you, even if they transfer you to the other side of the city," Bobby told her, his tone of voice almost a declaration.
"I never say things like this, but I didn't think you would," Alex said slowly as Bobby got to his feet and ground his cigarette underfoot. He looked around to make sure there wasn't anyone from the office around, and took her hand.
"I kiss you once outside some bar in the Village and now we're going to be driven from our jobs," he said sadly. "I'm the one who should be apologizing. I set all this in motion. What else did Deakins say?"
"He asked me why you and I ended up together," Alex said.
"That's expected."
"My reason was inevitability."
Bobby smiled at her in response to this reason, his expression a strange contrast to the gravity of the situation. A rare occurrence, seeing this big smile on Bobby's face. Its childishness and innocence made Alex feel irrationally hopeful.
"Deakins said he wanted to talk to you, too," she added, wanting him to go in warned.
"I know exactly what I'm going to say," Bobby replied evenly.
"We should go back for the lineup, anyway."
They returned to the precinct building.
The end of the day came, and Bobby was called into the Captain's office as promised.
"I've been thinking about this since I talked to Eames."
"Thank you, sir," Bobby quickly supplied.
"I realize you're two adults here." Bobby resisted the urge to say thank you again and held his tongue. "And I will overlook fraternization as long as I never hear about it again. You're too valuable to break up. But if there's one rumor, one bit of gossip, one mistaken phone call, if you start calling her 'Alex' in front of other law enforcement…she's gone and you're out looking for a new partner, understand?"
"Sir," Bobby began, his voice uncharacteristically shaky, "Thank you. Very much. Eames and I understand perfectly."
"Now get out of my office and get home," Deakins snapped. But he was smiling.
Bobby took the train home that night, since Alex had left earlier than him and had driven. He called her as he climbed the stairs out of the subway station by his building. Hearing the phone ring, he felt an ambient ache in his body ease.
"Hey."
"Deakins isn't moving anyone."
"I think I'm going to start praying again."
"But if he hears anything else we're done. He made that very clear. Anything. So keep this all secret like we have we should be alright," Bobby warned her.
"God, I'm so thankful. I know you're going out to the hospital tonight, but you can come over afterwards if you like. To celebrate this," Alex added unnecessarily.
"I think I will," Bobby replied, heading up the stairs to his third floor apartment. He showered, found new clothes, and got back on the train to the hospital his mother stayed at.
"Mr. Goren!" The aide buzzed him in and waived, rather friendly, given her depressing profession. "How are you?"
"Great," Bobby replied, and for once, he meant it. He waited for the auto lock on his mother's room to open up, then let himself in. She looked up. He had come shortly after the medicine rounds: her eyes were unfocused with Thorazine. He took a seat at the desk chair next to her and touched her arm. She turned towards him, looking past his shoulder.
"Mom," he said, and smiled at her empty gaze. "How are you?"
"Mm," she replied and slouched a little. Her grayish-white hair had grown down to her shoulders over the weeks. He touched the ends of it.
"You like it like this?" He asked her.
"Yeah," she replied softly, letting her head fall back onto the top of the chair and closing her eyes. Bobby continued to talk to her, knowing she wasn't really sleeping.
"We've got a new case. And Deakins found out about Alex and I, but he's not going to do anything unless we start getting noticeable. Mom, I think I'm in love with her."
"How long has it been?" She murmured, casting a sleepy glance at him.
"Months, but years – years that I've known her."
"Bobby, I can't tell you anything about love," his mother replied and began to cough. She drew in a deep breath. "Don't disappoint them at the precinct. They really like you, there."
"I know," he said, grateful she could think clearly enough to admonish him.
"John left us last night," she said suddenly, sitting up and gripping the armrest of her chair. John had been her closest friend in the hospital. "He just fell down, didn't get up. Might have been a drug interaction. I couldn't hear anything they said about it. Maybe his heart stopped. Maybe he stopped thinking about being alive. Maybe they killed him."
"I'm sorry," Bobby mumbled, taken aback. He had met John more than once.
"That's why they – the Thorazine – I'm – I can't stay awake, they've pumped me and all his friends full of sleeping pills. I'm so tired, Bobby. I can't take care of you, I'm too tired." She let her head fall backwards again. "Better let Alex take care of you, your father and I are out of the game." Her eyes closed once more. Bobby noticed that she said let Alex care for him, not make her or ask her too. As if Alex's care-taking was a certainty and all he had to do was allow it.
"Mom, I can do ok alone now," Bobby said. "You need me more than I need you," he added, and took her hand. "You want to sleep? Should I come back later this week?"
"Stay."
"Sure," he said.
"Ask them about John."
"Sure."
"Don't let them kill me too," his mother gasped, suddenly.
"Never," he replied, and got up, leaned down to kiss her cheek. "I'll stay here. They won't be anywhere near you if I'm here."
He stayed with her, knowing she'd forget the episode after waking from a long Thorazine slumber the next day. He passed the time idly telling her stories and discussing whatever came to mind until she dozed off, when he kissed her again, on the forehead, and stealthily let himself out. On his way out, he asked the desk aide about John.
"What happened with John?"
"He fainted. He's been in his room a little while, recovering. Dehydration, I think."
"He fainted?" Bobby exclaimed quietly.
"Did she say he died?" The aide asked, suppressing a smile. "Then she'll say he came back from the dead next week. He's going to be out tomorrow I think. Don't worry."
"Well, now I won't. Much better news than I expected," Bobby replied, smiling and waving as he left the hospital. Back on the train, he felt his heart leaping across town with the subway car that carried him. John hadn't died. He'd fainted. His mother was doing fine, if a little confused. He had Alex – and Deakins even tolerated the two of them. The train eventually ground to a stop. Bobby exited the station, stopped at a convenience store to buy wine, and walked to Alex's apartment.
She didn't even get off the couch when she heard the door open, merely turned and waved him in with a smile. The TV hummed an old episode of Crime and Punishment.
"How's Mom?" Alex asked. He rubbed his eyes, put the wine in the fridge and called out his response.
"She thought John died. Actually he fainted. Anyway, she was out cold from the Thorazine when I got out."
"She alright?"
"Yeah."
"You alright?" Alex added, looking at his face for clues.
"Are you kidding? I'm better than I have been in a long time. Kind of tired, but that's always the case." He met her eyes. "Come here." He sat down on the couch and she shifted to lean against him. They stared at the TV in silence for a few minutes. Alex put her head on the arm of the couch, stretching across his lap, so he laid a hand on her hip.
"Are you falling asleep?"
"No," she said defensively. "I haven't eaten dinner yet."
"Neither have I."
"We could have wine for dinner. I see you brought wine," she said.
"We could," he murmured, and slipped his fingers under the hem of her t-shirt, feeling her jump from the unexpected contact.
"Hey."
"What?" He replied innocently. She sat up and turned to face him, put her hand on the back of his neck.
"If we get to bed early we could wake up early tomorrow. We could make breakfast."
"Forget dinner?" He replied, tilting his head down to kiss her.
"Mm. Forget dinner," she agreed, kissing him back, kneeling astride him.