Roger smiled on his family, December 31, 2002, he grinned at ten year old Angel Maureen Mimi-Jo Jefferson-Cohen better known as A.J. now as she danced threw the apartment trying to stay up to watch the ball drop. When A.J. had turned seven Collins and Benny had decided that it was time to find a place of their own. With Roger at the loft to help Mark raise A.J. they didn't see a point to staying. Though at times Roger figured they should have stayed. Collins and Benny were over at least once ever two days or so.
Roger grinned as A.J. continued to sing as she danced, Out Tonight. A.J. had been threw his notebook again. He'd have a conversation with her about that later. He knew she'd been reading it because the song was one that he and Mimi had wrote together on one of their insomnia nights.
"Roger," A.J. said sitting on his lap wrapping her arms around his neck, "Is there any possibility you can talk my stick in the mud dad into letting me go to Time Square tonight?" A.J. pouted at Roger. "Oh no, I'm with him on this. Release you onto Time Square on New Years Eve? Do we look crazy, you'd probably bring the ball crashing down early: you want him to change his mind you change it yourself." Roger said kissing her cheek. "But Uncle Roger…" A.J. started to whine.
Roger was only Uncle Roger when A.J. wanted something. Otherwise it was always just Roger. He figured it was due to the fact that he hadn't been around when she was establishing who was in her family and who was in her extended family; Roger never felt that he wasn't part of the family, but he was more the best friend of her father then anything. Roger rarely disciplined her usually he left that to Mark but, he was the one she ran to when she was upset. When something had happened to tilt her preciously balanced world: like when Collins had gotten the flu a year ago and had landed in the hospital. A.J. always ran to Roger.
A.J. was no fool; she understood that three of her family members were sick with a disease that could very well cost them their lives. And that flu sometimes was a death sentence for a person with A.I.D.S. Roger had held her into the long hours as she cried for her Uncle Collins. He'd made her, what she called special co-co.
Special because of the kick of Rum it had in it and the fact she only got it when Roger deemed it a necessity. The first time she'd gotten her special co-co was the night A.J. and Roger had attended an A.I.D.S. awareness rally and she had heard a man scream out at Collins that he was going to hell for being gay and that he should die from A.I.D.S. Roger had never told Mark about the incident because Mark would've hit the roof.
Mark came out of his room in Diesel jeans and a button down Gucci shirt. Roger raised his eyebrows. Mark's new boyfriend liked for Mark to dress expensively. Roger's eyes drifted over Mark. He wasn't sure he liked this look on Mark, Roger preferred Mark in a tank top and worn wranglers that Mark reserved for laundry day and GOD did Roger love laundry day. More then anything Mark's face didn't look right with out his glasses. He had never seen his room mate wear his contacts before. The package together didn't look like Mark, plus there was one more thing, a small thing, that Roger couldn't quite put his finger on.
"Well what do you think?" Mark said turning around. Roger watched as A.J. frowned, "Why do you have to go out with him?" said asked talking about Mark's current fling with his co-star Jack Douglas. Roger wasn't too crazy about Jack. He seemed a little controlling and pompous the two times Roger had met Jack. And those two times had been accidents when he had taken A.J. to a movie and to meet Mark back stage.
"Aren't Roger and I any fun?" A.J. pouted. "Don't pout Angel. I like Jack." Mark said looking at himself in the mirror pulling at the collar as if he was uncomfortable. "Show of hands: who doesn't like Jack?" A.J. asked. Both Roger and A.J. raised their hands. "He's a jerk dad, besides he's still a closet case." A.J. said.
Roger was always surprised that it had never bothered her that Mark was bi-sexual though he tended to lean more towards the gay side. Then of course it probably shouldn't have surprised him since her uncles were all either gay or bi-sexual.
"Don't call him a closet case to his face please pumpkin." Mark said walking over and kissing A.J. on her forehead. That's when Roger noticed it, the little thing that was different, "Your eyes are a different color!" Roger said looking at Mark. Mark's best attribute, besides his ass, were hidden by green contacts. Roger was disgusted, Mark's eyes were a beautiful blue, bluebonnet blue, Roger had decided: after he has seen real bluebonnets in Texas on his travels.
"Uh, yeah, Jack thinks blue is boring, he got me green and amber contacts. I'll see you later. Don't stay up to late." Mark said walking out the door to the loft closing it behind him.
"Yeah well, Jack's an idiot." Roger told A.J. A.J. giggled and ran to the window throwing it open and getting on the fire escape. Roger smiled at A.J. as he picked up his fender. He'd had mild success as a songwriter lately with one song being bought for the soundtrack to a movie. More then anything he paid the bills by being a guitarist for a local studio.
When the studio had a solo singer but no band the studio band would be called in. Roger didn't love it but it paid his half of the bills and he got to play for a living. Roger looked up watching A.J. look down.
Below her were her father and his new boyfriend. A.J. didn't like Jack. She hadn't told anyone but he had scared her ever since the night she and Roger had ran into them at the movies. When she had left Roger to go to the bathroom Jack had followed her and told her that she was a spoiled brat. She had tried to explain to him that Roger and her running into he and Mark had been a complete accident. But since she hadn't seen her father due to the play he was working on that she thought it would be a good idea that they all go see the same movie.
He had grabbed her arm and A.J. was still pretty convinced that Jack would've hit her had the usher walked up to them and asked if there was a problem. That wasn't the only incident that had happened to make A.J. not like Jack. There had been others. But that was the most prominent. Besides, she looked back at Roger and smiled, she wanted Roger to become her second dad.
A.J. looked at the snow that littered the railing of the fire escape and then looked at Jack. "Such a nice coat hate to mess it up." A.J. mumbled before she dropped a large snowball and mush on Jack.
It was much like watching a train wreck for Roger. He could see A.J. turn back and smile at him as she gathered snow and mush in her hands. He then watched as she dropped it. Roger could just guess who she was dropping it on. He yelled out her name too late.
"A.J.!" she heard Roger yell as Mark and Jack looked up. Instead of hitting Jack on the shoulder or back, the sludge and snow it hit Jack square in his face. A.J. covered her mouth to hide that laugh from her father.
Roger grabbed A.J.'s shoulders pulling her back to put himself in between A.J. and the two men on the ground. He didn't trust Jack not to loose his temper with the ten year old. Roger knew what Jack had done at the movie theater. An usher had mentioned it to Roger thinking Roger was A.J.'s father. Roger also knew that Jack had a hot temper. He had almost gone after the asshole when Mark came home sporting a black eye curtsey of one of Jack's rages.
"Sorry! She just wanted to see Mark off." Roger yelled down to the men. Roger could've sworn that Mark was laughing as he helped Jack clean his face off. Mark would've seen the humor in A.J. acting out like that. She rarely did acts of defiance but when she did, it was hard to be mad because they were usually pretty funny.
Roger pulled A.J. back into the loft. Roger laughed as he turned around, "I swear it was an accident. I was aiming for his back." A.J. started. Roger held up his hands, "Its okay Munchkin." Roger said hugging her to show that she wasn't in trouble.
"So what do you want to do tonight baby?" Roger asked. "Really, I get to choose?" A.J. asked looking at Roger. He smiled and then nodded. A.J. was up running to Mark's room. She pulled out Mark's old projector and several canisters of film.
"Daddy never lets me watch these. Says I'm too young to understand. But you'll explain it won't you Roger?" A.J. said looking at him with a puppy dog expression. "I had to open my big mouth." Roger said helping A.J. set up the projector.
Roger walked to the kitchen and grabbed two sodas. While Roger was in the kitchen A.J. stopped and looked at him. "Roger can I ask a personal question? One you don't have to answer if you don't want to." A.J. asked. "Sure munchkin." Roger smiled at her. "Do you love my dad?" she asked. "Of course I do." Roger said with an expression that showed his confusion.
"Not in he's my best friend kind of way." A.J. rolled her eyes. "You mean do I love you dad in that over the rainbow, home run to win the World Series, would do anything to make him happy, even watch him date an egotistical, nymphomaniac, closet case jack-ass?" Roger grinned as he asked. "Yup, that way." A.J. grinned at him waiting for an answer.
Roger looked at A.J. who was sitting on the couch, "Absolutely. He was the reason I left. It confused me at first but, then it was like it was the most natural thing in the world." Roger said. A.J. looked confused. "Special Co-co time:" Roger said pulling out two mugs. "But I'm not upset Rog. I like the idea of you and dad." A.J. said, "No but I will be by the end of this story." Roger said with a smile.
Roger sat on the couch with the girl he thought of his daughter and one of his best friends. He looked at the steaming cup in his hands and began. "You know about your mom and Mark dating." Roger said A.J. nodded with a smile. She liked the idea that at one time her mom and dad had been together. "And you know your mom left your dad for Joanna, whom we all loved and adored. Well, it was during that whole drama that I met Mimi Marquez. She was special, so full of life and such. But like the rest of us she had A.I.D.S. After Angel died we sort of fell apart, I moved to Santa Fe after a huge fight with your dad. When your dad and I fight, we don't accuse or anything like that, no we're much worse; we tell truths about each other. Stuff we know the other doesn't want to face." Roger said thinking about that Halloween when he and Mark stood in the graveyard arguing.
"So what happen next?" A.J. asked pulling Roger back from his thoughts. "Well I got as far as New Jersey and realized that Mark was right. I was running from everything. Including something that had started to build for Mark; so I turned around and came back. Thankfully your dad took me back with out any questions. But by this time Mimi was gone. We didn't have a clue where she was. Benny and Mark had checked her into rehab and she had stayed maybe six hours they said and then suddenly she was gone. She checked herself out and disappeared. So that began the whole city wide Mimi search. I was ready to give up when your moms found her in the park. Mimi died that night. But your godmother, she sent her back to us. She knew I would've felt incredibly guilty if Mimi had died that night. So Angel sent her back, but we lost her about a year later." Roger stopped his story in remembrance of the vivacious twenty year old.
"When Mimi knew she was dying she told me something. I didn't understand at the time. She told me that she had never really been my song. That it wasn't her eyes that had haunted me in Santa Fe. That though she never doubted I loved her, it was more as an adoring friend, then the love of my life. But she could understand that she was never going to be the love of my life. That someone had already filled that position long before her and that my love would be there for me long after she was gone. I spent weeks trying to figure out what the hell she was talking about. Then it hit me. One night, it wasn't an important night, your dad I were doing our normal thing, Mark was editing a film and I was strumming my fender. Then I looked up and it hit me. Mimi had been right, I didn't love her. That it was sad she was gone but I wasn't devastated. But Mark, I didn't know what I would do if he was ever gone. It hit me like a ton of bricks, I loved Mark. But I also knew that I couldn't let him love me. That I was sick and dying, I couldn't hurt him like that. So I left, and I traveled all over the world. Till I finally realized that no matter where I went I was never going to be too far from Mark because he was everywhere I was. Does that make sense?" Roger looked at the ten year old.
A.J. was smiling as she spoke, "All I asked was did you love Dad. And you gave me more then I could ever hope for Roger. I hope you tell him soon. Cause I'd rather see him with you then anyone else in the world. Cause with you Rog, I know you'd take care of him."
It made Roger feel good that he had Mark's daughter's approval. "We'll see what happens munchkin: we'll see." Roger said kissing her forehead as he spoke.
Roger didn't know if A.J. had ever seen Proof Positive. He watched her face as the title appeared about to say something when he heard her start to sing the song that played threw the movie. She HAD seen it before, she'd seen it so much she knew the words to the song and the narrative that Mark had through out the film. She knew everything line for line, "How many times have you seen this A.J.?" Roger asked, "Once a month since I was 4, twice on Halloween, Christmas Eve, Christmas day, New Years Day, and my moms' birthdays." A.J. answered.
Mark looked at his watch and then at the window to his loft, the lights were still flickering at four-thirty in the morning. Roger would get a piece of his mind about keeping A.J. up this late.
He opened the loft door and entered in on the sweetest sight he'd ever seen. His old projector was up and Maureen and Joanna and Angel's face were shining down on the two sleeping figures. Roger lay on the couch with A.J. sleeping on his chest. Roger's arms wrapped protectively around A.J. Mark smiled and then moved to pick A.J. up.
The movement woke Roger, "Hey how was your date?" Roger asked stroking A.J.'s baby fine strawberry curls. "We broke up. He's an ass who said that I could leave A.J. for a month with you or Collins so we could go to Miami for vacation." Mark said. "I'm sorry I know you liked him." Roger whispered as he handed A.J. to Mark. The two carried the ten year old to her room.
"So I guess the question is what are you going to do?" Roger asked. He and Mark sat on their couch Roger with his coffee and Mark with his tea. "I don't know. He was so furious with that little snowball stunt A.J. pulled tonight. He threatened that if I didn't do something about her being so disobedient he would." Mark said looking at his hands. "I'd like to see him get within ten feet of A.J. We'd have to find a place to stash the body after I got threw killing him." Roger said his temper flaring at the idea of Jack telling Mark how to raise A.J.
Mark sighed, "All I want to find a good one Rog. Someone I can spend the rest of my life with. Someone who A.J. likes as well as the rest of you: someone who can make me happy. I want someone who will love A.J. as much as I do." Mark spoke softly. Roger leaned over and gave Mark a chased kiss. "You will Mark; you'll find some who's perfect for you; someone who will be able to guarantee forever." Roger said as Mark curled up in Roger's arms.
Roger sat stroking Mark's hair long after Mark had fallen asleep. He looked down into Mark's smiling face and thought, "I just wish that someone could be me." Roger kissed Mark's forehead and laid his head back onto the back of the couch slowly falling asleep.