Chapter Two

Ray sat in the doctor's lounge, staring at his cup of coffee that had slowly started to go cold. He hadn't poured any milk into it anyway, and what was the point when he didn't feel like coffee in the first place? He stood up and poured it down the sink and stalked over to the nearby window. The sky was ice white, covered in clouds as far as he could see. The snow that had started to fall last night covered everything in a thick blanket. He suddenly had the desire to be anywhere but here. Somewhere tropical, with golden sands and sapphire blue oceans. Either that or playing at one of his gigs, getting so lost in the music that he couldn't think about anything.

It was times like these that he wished he had the power to fast forward everything and see where he ended up. It was better to know what was going to happen, then know the screw ups and disasters that happened on the way.

He heard the tell tale squeak of the door opening and looked up to see ….Neela. The one person he had been trying not to run into all morning.

"Damn it," he muttered out loud, without meaning to. She pretended not to hear him, and walked over to make a drink.

They shared a cold silence for almost a minute, before it was more then he could stand. He suddenly missed their very heated debates and petty arguments that were about nothing important.

"Is it me, or does it feel like we're actually outside?" he asked then, trying to break the tension.

She looked up briefly. Hmm…that was progress right? Actually looking at him meant she acknowledged he was there.

"Neela…"

Now what the hell was he supposed to say. I'm sorry? Well, he was. He didn't want it to be like this anymore, but he didn't know how to change things. And another part of him was angry that she had automatically assumed it was his fault. It had always been like that and he was sick of it.

"I thought you wanted to forget about what happened?" She snapped back at him. "And you were right. It's better that way."

"You remember anything?" he asked her, instead of saying the many biting retorts that flooded his mind. He was curious despite his anger.

She shook her head. "Nope. Total blank. You?"

"No," he answered, strangely disappointed. She was gone before he had a chance to say anything else. Like the fact that she was lying. They both were. She must have remembered something because he had. All god damn morning he'd been having little flashbacks of the night before. And just when he thought things were back to normal…he'd be hit with something else more….incredible. Because that was what last night had been for him. Maybe it was the success of his night, or the alcohol, but everything had been…he didn't really have any words for it. He'd never felt anything like it before. And it actually scared him…something he wouldn't admit to anyone. It was why he had been so harsh with her that morning. But the fact that she had agreed with him so fast…it startled him.

He'd come home late from his gig, and the snow had just started. He'd walked in from the freezing cold, to find Neela cleaning up plates and throwing away cold food. "Hey Neela," he'd said softly. "You need any help with that?"

She'd turned around in shock, dropping one of the wine glasses that shattered into tiny shards.

"Let me get that ok?"

She'd nodded and sank onto a nearby chair and to his horror, he could see she'd been crying.

Hurrying to clear up the mess, he'd tried to think what to do now, not good at all with these situations. He hated when girls started to act like this and usually ran for the hills. But that didn't mean he was a jerk, and this was Neela. Despite the arguments and general dislike in the beginning, despite their differences they'd learned to accept each other.

And this had happened for the past two nights now. The first night she'd planned a movie and a meal out the guy had called two hours later with some emergency. And now this.

"He never even called me this time!" she'd told him sadly.

"I told you the guys a bastard didn't I? He doesn't deserve you?"

Where had that come from?

She nodded. "I know. But since when do I listen to you?"

He had laughed quietly at this…definitely true!

"Ok, I've got a plan. We can still save this evening ok? Takeaway, alcohol and a movie of your choice. Sound good? I know it's not with the guy of your dreams or anything but…"

"He was never that!" Neela said bitterly. Then she smiled and looked at him in surprise." Don't you have some after party or girl to meet?"

He had hesitated. She was right on both questions but still…for some reason, he hadn't been able to bring himself to walk away.

"Nah. I can cancel. Tonight's your night Neela."

"Well I'm speechless. I've never known you to be so…well, whatever this is. It's a new look for you. So…did you go and do a bunch of drugs or something?"

"I know, and no," was his answer.

She'd laughed her first real laugh of the night. "Was that a sentence?"

He smiled down at her, glad to see she was cheering up already. "Hey…look at us. Actually having a real conversation. And hanging out…"

"I know. Amazing."

He nearly jumped a mile high when he heard Lewis yelling at him. "Ray…where have you been! Get moving!"

Following Susan out into the corridor, he thought sadly that he and Neela wouldn't be having anything like what they'd shared last night for a long time. He'd never seen her like that before. The rest of the night had pretty much been like that. It really had been amazing. She'd had a laugh, there had been no walls surrounding her…or him. They'd actually gotten to know each other, and he'd actually had a good time. and then …one thing had lead to another…..how exactly, was lost on him. And that made being here so much worse. While he was trying to act the doctor and be professional, all he could see were images of Neela that he wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon…..

But it hurt him more then he'd thought it would, that he would probably never get the chance to know her like that again.

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Neela stood outside with Abby, waiting for the ambulance to pull up. It was freezing, and Abby was looking at her questioningly.

"Ok Neela, spill," her friend asked.

Neela shook her head. "For the last time nothing's wrong! I'm just…really hung over ok? That's all. And I don't want Weaver finding out, I'm already in enough trouble as it is."

Abby sighed. "You're late once and you're stuck on night shifts?"

Neela shrugged.

Night shifts weren't her problem. She knew that there were people in the world suffering worse fates then her at this moment. People starving, diagnosed with some terrible disease. But right now…to her, Ray Barnett was a far bigger problem then all of those combined.

She remembered everything now, and she was sure he did as well. She remembered the slow kisses that had led to deep passionate….well, what it had led to had to be illegal in the 50 states….probably all over the world. Right? She flushed at some of her memories, but if she was honest, it had been the most amazing night of her entire life…and it had been with Ray?

"Neela…"

"I told you nothing's wrong!" she snapped.

"GSW, remember? At least pretend to know what you're doing!"

Neela nodded, hoping the day would fly past. Then she remembered that she shared a place with Ray, and then she wouldn't have anywhere left to run.

TBC