A/n: UGH AOL they cut off my internet. I am suffering withdrawal symptoms.
Chapter 4:
"Speaking." He sounds so calm. I envy him.
"It's Dana." I whisper. It seems wrong to be calling him.
"Hey…"
"Logan I need a favor…" my voice is cracking.
"Shoot."
"Time for psychobabble…" I plead.
"Ok."
"Am I insane?" I have to ask it. The question had been nagging at the back of my mind for so long that if it goes unanswered any long I would be insane.
"Not from what I've seen." He assures me. He uses that 'everything all right even though it's not' tone that really annoys me. Y'know the one your mom uses after your dad hits her, or the one the vet uses after putting your hamster to sleep. That tone.
"All I do is break my mothers heart." I whisper. I don't know why I'm talking in a hushed voice. It's almost as though I'm scared of what I have to say and what may be said to me. I feel like I'm confessing to the priest at church.
"Dana… where are you?" I look around. I'm at the corner near the salon.
"Outside your apartment building." I confess. There's a momentary pause.
"Hold on I'm gonna buzz you up ok." He hangs up. I have a decision to make. Go home to my husband who wants my unborn infant dead, or run to the arms of my baby's father, illegitimate as it may be. Either way my parents would disown me. Might as well go for safe. I skitter up the stairs to the penthouse apartment. He's standing at his door looking very confused. I say nothing just hug him tightly.
For a long time there is this, that aforementioned deafening silence. I want it to stay though. I want silence forever, but I know I'll have to break it.
"Paolo hates me." I whisper.
"He knows about the baby?"
"Oh he knows alright." I whisper into his shirt. I explain the entire story without raising my head. I daren't look him in the eye. It's me who's in this mess, technically all he did was sleep with me. That's not really a crime is it? But at the end of the day I don't really see how I did wrong.
"Get away from it." He tells me firmly.
"Logan I can't! Weren't you listening?" I whine.
"I was. But anywhere's better than with that psychopathic husband of yours." I pull back and shake my head.
"It's not. Up until today I've always felt safe there with Paolo. It might not be perfect but…"
"But now he wants you and your unborn baby dead…" He whispers.
"Yeah well…" I mutter darkly. "At least I'd die 'honourably' that way."
"Dana, getting pregnant at seventeen is not honourable. Sleeping with your therapist is not honourable. Getting pregnant to said therapist and then lying to your husband…" I yank myself out of his grasp angrily. I get the picture. "You've done a lot of 'dishonourable' stuff Dana, I'd say you're just scared of the truth."
"No I'm…" I hate people telling me about me. Which is why as a general rule I dislike therapists and psychologists and doctors.
"Yes you are." He cuts me off. "You're scared that if your parents find out what you're really like that you'll feel guilty about it. Dana - NONE of this is your fault I swear it." The deafening silence is back. I use it as a moment to regain my composure, wipe my eyes. My life is so messed up. And just when I think it can't get any crazier
"Stay with me."
"No way!" I screech. "I'm not going there again!" He's confused. I don't blame him. I'm probably not making any sense.
"Going where?"
"Logan I am not getting into a relationship with no love, forcing feelings that aren't there just because I'm pregnant." He rolls his tongue in his mouth for a few seconds, mulling this over.
"Dana, I like you. But I'm not forcing anything, I don't know if you like me or whether we'd get together… but I do know you'll be safe here." He makes it sound so good.
"I…"
"Dana. If not for yourself then for our baby yeah… you lost your last child, don't let him take this one from you." He's actually begging me. He takes my hands in his. "I'm not going to demand you marry me. I'm not going to go ballistic if you bring boyfriends home at all hours. And once the baby's born, I'm not even going to demand you change the diapers."
"Serious?" I ask curiously.
"Serious…" He whispers pushing my hair behind my ear. "Stay with me?" All the thoughts rush together in my mind like the freeway at 5pm. It makes me feel so dizzy and it's scary.
"Ok." That one word is going to change my life forever.
Logan left to get my stuff. He arrived at the apartment and he told Paolo face to face
"Dana's leaving you. She's gonna be a single mom. She's at a safe place… away from you."
"Whatever." He gathered her essentials, clothes, toothbrush, photos. He even found 2 sonogram pictures. One dated two years ago and one more recently. He smiled at the first glimpse of his baby. He pocketed them both before heading back.
"She's out of your control now Johansson." He had to growl. "You've made her life hell for years and she's finally seen sense."
"Who the fuck are you to tell me what happens with my wife?" Paolo growled.
"I'm Logan Reese, her therapist. And her baby's father." Paolo punched Logan. It hurt a fairbit but he didn't care. In Logan's mind it was worth it. The last thing Logan heard before he left was Paolo on the phone to Dana's parents. He thought it was low but didn't follow up on it. He was better than them. Dana was better.
I'm sat curled on his couch when he comes back.
"Hey, how you doin?" he asks gently dropping my stuff by the door of the spare bedroom.
"Great, what happened to your cheek?" I asked worriedly.
"Paolo… but don't worry it's sorted."
"I am so sorry!" I gasp. "Oh my god…"
"Dana quit worrying." He complains sitting beside me. "I promise no more Paolo, no more psychobabble, just relax ok. Stress isn't good for you." I nod. I know it's not. It makes me think of miscarriage and stuff. Logan pulls something out of his back pocket. It's two sonogram pictures.
"I found these in your room." He says gently. I lean across and take the oldest one. This was my son. I trace his outline and I close my eyes. I almost want to cry. I can picture him, in my head, and sometim I wonder whatmy life would be like if he'd been born alive. I probably wouldn't be sat in my therapists apartment carrying his bastard child."Dana? I… I didn't mean to upset you." He sounds genuinely angry… at himself more than me. I open my eyes.
"No you didn't upset me it's ok… it was a long time ago." I slip the photo down the side of the cushion and lay my head on his shoulder looking at the one in his hand.
"Amazing or what." He points at the picture. It's very little more than a blob because I'm not very far pregnant. My son's picture was taken days before I miscarried.
"Kinda… you want a boy or a girl?"
"I'm happy with either." He promises me. I've decided I want a girl. It was too difficult saying goodbye to my son.
"Think we'll make good parents?"
"Duh. We're rich, good looking, and we're gonna love it." He laughs. He sounds so cheerful. I'm not cheerful. I'm terrified. In a few short hours my life has spun vastly out of my control, who knows where I'll be in 7 and a half months?
Hi. I'm Dana Cruz (Yep, Paolo and I are officially O-ver, it meant my parents disowned me but screw them). If you're looking for a happily ever after between me and Logan… well I'm not quite sure if there is one. We have a beautiful daughter (Rhiannon Reese, tan skin, tons of curly hair and huge brown eyes) but we're not 'together'. If you're looking for that then you're screwed because it's what I'm looking for too. I like him. He likes me, but it was just a fling. I don't think either of us is or ever has been in 'love' but… you never know. Maybe we'll fall in love someday.
HOWEVER… if you're looking for a happy ending with Chase and Zoey, I daresay you've found it. Because he told us today (Yes we have this gossip straight from the horses mouth (much as he will object to being called a horse)) that he plans on asking Miss Zoey Brooks to become Mrs Zoey Matthews. He's gonna propose! How awesome is that. I'm happy for them.
I guess there is such thing as a happily ever after…for some.
A/n: That's the end. Guys please review. Infact if you're really nice to me I'll write a sequel.