It was Tuesday. The day after two long weeks where Chalondra was headed to dreaded tutoring – something she hated, yet liked at the same time.
This time she made sure no notes were hanging out of her pockets.
"Hey there," Kadric's voice awoke Chalondra from her reverie.
"Hey," she replied, rubbing her hands together. "Can you hurry up? It's chilly!"
Just to bother her, Kadric's calm steps turned into snail paced ones, a smirk taking over his face.
"Oh, haha," Chalondra said almost boredly, scolding him. "Hurry up, please."
Kadric didn't.
Chalondra had to wait at least ten minutes for him to reach the door. Then he took forever sticking the key in the lock and then turning it. Chalondra gave him a quick smile, which was very much forced, before she stalked into the humid heat of the greenhouse.
"So," Kadric began, setting his cloak on a chair. Chalondra made sure not to look at him with his shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbows and his tie hanging loose over an un tucked white school t-shirt.
"So what?" Chalondra asked.
"Ready for some more hands on experience?"
Chalondra snorted. "I think I'll just take notes today. Actually, I had some questions I was having some problems with…"
Kadric gritted his teeth. "Fine, fine, let me see them."
Chalondra hesitated. "Not if you're going to be a big grump about it."
Kadric sighed. Something was bothering him, but Chalondra didn't know what.
She took a seat, flinging her hair behind her shoulders so it would stop getting in her eyes. But she wasn't going to ask what was wrong. She barely knew the guy!
"Okay, I won't be a big grump," he said, giving her a tight smile. "Can I see the notes?"
Chalondra passed over her sheet of parchment. "Number's one, five, and eight don't make any sense to me. Well, a bit…" Her voice quieted as Kadric looked over the questions, his forehead creased. But Chalondra could clearly see his mind was somewhere else.
"Um…Kadric?"
"Huh?" he asked, his head snapping up from looking at the parchment.
"You've been looking at that paper for twenty minutes," Chalondra said, trying to hide the concern in her voice. "Is it really that hard?"
Kadric's face grew into a grimace. "Ravenclaw, please, I don't need this right now."
Chalondra suddenly felt very small at the whip-like tone of his voice. "Fine," she said haughtily. "Maybe you just shouldn't tutor me today." She sniffed, grabbing the parchment from him and began to roll it up.
"You haven't been your usual mean self today, or yesterday for that matter," Chalondra continued, trying to wheedle the information out of him. "That Gryffindor tripped right in front of you and you didn't say a thing. I think I went into temporary shock."
Nothing.
Chalondra risked a glance at him, and saw that his head was cupped into one hand, and he was staring at the wall opposite of them. "Look, if you want to go do some hands on experience, I guess I can -"
"It's not that," Kadric finally said, shaking his head slightly. Chalondra immediately sat down. She prided herself on being a psychologist-in-training.
Kadric seemed to read her thoughts, because he managed to crack a smirk. "Sorry Brainy, but I'm not going to spill my deepest, most inner thoughts to you. I barely know you."
Chalondra felt dejected. "Fine," she said almost icily. Then she remembered she had no reason to be mad at him and calmed down slightly. "I don't know why I'm asking you this, but are you okay? I mean, you're just not yourself…"
"And how would you know what 'myself' is supposed to be like?" Kadric suddenly snapped, flinging his hands in the air. "That's just the thing. Myself. I'm – well – Kadric is supposed to always be the bully, and sometimes I just wish…" He paused, eyes widening slightly.
"You know what? Never mind. Look, just – uh – ignore that."
Chalondra smiled. "I sense some insecurity…"
"No," Kadric stated quietly, teeth gritted. "No, nothing like that."
Chalondra studied his face, making sure she didn't stare for too long. When would she ever get over this stupid infatuation? "Did someone find out about your tutoring?" she asked, suddenly queasy. Kadric shook his head.
"Is someone pressuring you to tease someone?"
Kadric was silent. His shoulders gave a wiggle semi-shrug dance. Chalondra grimaced.
"Was someone teasing you about Herbology?"
Kadric suddenly glared at her. "Don't try that on me," he snapped, and Chalondra was smart enough to back off. "I'm sick of you hounding me. We're not friends, so just stop trying to 'help' me, all right?" His eyes were sparking with some unknown anger, and Chalondra meekly hid her face under a curtain of ebony black hair.
Suddenly he sighed heavily. "Let's just forget about it, all right? Show me those problems again; I'll see if I can help you…"
Chalondra could clearly hear the stubbornness in his voice and handed the parchment over silently. As he began to explain the first question, she couldn't help but almost sense the heaviness on his shoulders. I wish he would tell me what's wrong. Wait, why do I care so much? He was right. We're NOT friends. And I don't want to be anything more that tutor and tutorage…right? Right?
………
"WHAT!" Chalondra cried, jumping up from her bed. "Are you INSANE, Yoyo!"
Yoyo cringed under her friend's sudden shrieks. "Well, I don't think so," she sniffed. "I thought it'd be good to get this weight off of my shoulders."
Chalondra struggled for air. She forgot how to breathe. In, out, in out…She finally let out air through her nostrils. "Yoyo, this is – you're – crazy. You can't possibly tell Kadric you like him! You CAN'T! You know how much that would spread? You know how much you'd be teased?"
Yoyo hesitated. "I think I'm doing the right thing. Aren't you supposed to tell people how you feel?"
I wish, Chalondra though internally, gritting her teeth together. "Yoyo, I'm only against this for your own safety," she said, overly calm. She sat on the edge of her bed and gave her friend a pleading look. "Are you ready to risk it?"
Yoyo grinned, flopping onto her back on her bed. "Anything's worth the risk for – for love."
That was it. That was last straw. Chalondra's jaw dropped open, and she not only forgot how to breathe, she forgot how to talk. It was a while before she mustered up something semi-comprehendible.
"Yoyo – love – YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY!"
"What and you do?" Yoyo snapped in an accusatory tone. Chalondra looked into her eyes, forcing herself not to look away or blink.
"No," she replied back quietly. "No, I don't." Which is true, she thought. Pretty much.
"Yoyo, all I'm saying is that Kadric, any Slytherin, is slimy. They tease, taunt, and bully. They treat the rest of us like dirt, and admitting your feelings to one is ridiculous. And it's impossible to love a Slytherin. Impossible."
Yoyo glared at her friend. "Chalondra, I thought you'd be supportive."
"Yoyo, I hate the guy!" Not true…
"I know, but – but I don't. I've always thought he was kind of funny…"
Chalondra snorted. "Gee. Thanks. After six years of haunting me, and you say he's funny?"
Yoyo stiffened. "Chal, I'm telling him whether you like it or not, so I wish you'd just ACCEPT that."
Chal was silent for a moment. What're you afraid of? That he'll turn her down? No, not so much, that's expected. That he'll like her back? That he'll pretend to like her only to annoy you? Why would you care though? You only like his looks. Inside he's the biggest jerk alive. He'll kill Yoyo, he'll break her heart. He'd just LOVE to talk to his friends about it…but, if Yoyo's going to do what she wants, you better be there so she has a shoulder to cry on when he freaks out at her. Tell her about the note? That's…that's a no no. Later. Much later.
Chalondra sighed heavily, rubbing at the back of her ears. "All right, okay, do what you want Yoyo. But I'm warning you that he's not going to be very pleasant. I've – I've heard he'll kiss a girl just to shut her up, so that means if he has any feelings, they rarely ever surface. Everything is fake with him."
Yoyo smiled shakily. "I'm just so nervous. But it's a good nervous, you know? When should I tell him? After dinner, potions…" Yoyo went on and on, giggling and getting all mushy. Chalondra only nodded every so often, maybe a Yea, or Good idea, every now and then. Why couldn't Yoyo like someone else? No, why couldn't Chalondra like someone else? I don't like him, she thought. I just like his looks. That's it, that's all, end of story.
………
It was after dinner Wednesday evening. Kate and Tali had gone ahead to the dormitory for some unknown discussion. Chalondra had seen the steely glint in Kate's eyes and knew what their talk was going to be about – Danny, and Tali's flirting with him.
Yoyo was standing nervously at the base of the steps, whereas Chalondra was standing at the top, pretending to flip through a book. But really, she was there for support, and to witness what was going to happen between the two. Whatever it was, it wasn't going to be pretty.
Chal kept looking at the Great Hall doors. Goodness, what was taking him so long? He could probably sense awkwardness ahead and was taking his sweet time. Well Chal didn't have time for him to dawdle along. She needed to get this over with. Her stomach was queasy. Very queasy, and knotted up and made of lead. Augh, why did she have to CARE? Kadric didn't like Yoyo – there was no way. But who cares if he did? Chal? Yea…yea right…
Musings of both Chal and Yoyo were interrupted as Kadric and three fellow Slytherins walked out of the Great Hall, laughing and heading past the stairs to head down to the dungeons. She made sure to hide her face well behind the book so Kadric didn't know she was there. After all, she didn't want it to seem like she was stalking him.
"Um – Kadric? Kadric Marsters?" Chal cringed. Yoyo sounded nervous, her voice quavering. But at the same time, it was resolute in its choice. Chal risked a peek over the edge of the book to see Kadric standing before Yoyo, a look of mingled shock, horror, and disgust on his face.
"Yea, that's me," he replied casually, giving his pals a sidelong glance that read "Loser." Chal gulped, and knew Yoyo had seen the look too. She paused for a minute, trying to collect her thoughts. Chal could tell. How many times had she been like that in front of Kadric? Not too many, she hoped.
"Well? Spit it out, Ravenclaw!" Kadric snapped. Once again, Chalondra cringed. What a jerk!
"I – uh – well, Kadric, I just wanted to let you know that…that I don't think you're, um, as evil and as big of a jerk as lots of people, er, think. I actually think you're – well – okay." She gulped, and Chal felt her own heart racing. Wow, that took bravery. Chal was ready to faint and she hadn't even said anything. She glanced at Kadric to see his face clearly trying to suppress shock. But it sure didn't suppress its distaste.
"What are you trying to say?" he asked coldly. His two pals were sniggering, and a small group was gathering on the steps and behind Chal. She rounded on the boy nearest her.
"What?" she snapped, angry at him for gawking at her friend. "This isn't a zoo!" she whispered fiercely. "Scat!" The boy gave her strange look and scurried off down the hall. Chal mumbled grumpily and turned back to gawk just as the boy had.
"I'm – uh, trying to say, that, I, I kind of…Well, I like you Kadric Marsters."
Chal gasped. So did thirty other students. Then some broke out into a mad twitter, whispering and pointing at Yoyo. Chal saw the red flaming on her cheeks, and how near she was to tears. But Kadric didn't seem to take that into account. All he did was snort. It cut through Chal like a knife, but hurt Yoyo even more.
"Do I even know your name?" he asked cockily, chuckling along with his cronies. Yoyo blushed ferociously. Not exactly the answer you want for confessing your love.
"Yes!" Chal called before she could contain herself. With a quiet curse she hid her head behind the book so neither Kadric nor the students could see her face. Chal blushed, and knew Yoyo was probably confused.
"I-It's Yoyo," Yoyo said calmly. Chal had to give her credit. She probably would have run away by now.
"Yoyo? Like, the muggle toy?" He snorted along with his friends, and Chal felt like ripping his head off. Why did he have to be so mean?
Yoyo didn't reply, only narrowed her eyes at him. But Kadric just wouldn't shut up.
"No offense, but I prefer to date actual humans, not little play things." This statement, as lame as it was, received a few laughs and chuckles from the surrounding crowd. Chal felt like punching them all. Shut up, shut up, shut up!
Yoyo glared at Kadric. "You know what? I don't think you're worth it anymore," she said coolly, getting a loud 'oooh' from the crowd. Kadric only scoffed at the statement.
"Not a big loss to me. After all, you're just another swooning female. I'm getting kind of sick of them."
That was it. He could only go so far. Chal slammed the book shut, fury very clear on her face. Yoyo might be better at hiding at her temper, but not Chal. As Yoyo took swift steps away from Kadric and stepped lightly, but painfully fast up the staircase and away from the kids, Chal did the opposite. She stomped down the stairs towards Kadric, anger echoing in her loud clomping steps. She faced him, a foot shorter than Kadric, but her rage made her seem much, much taller.
"You are a rat," she hissed, aware of all the students still watching this little episode. Kadric of course, smiled at the audience.
"What's this? Another one of my admirers? Brainiac's seem to be attracted to me," Kadric continued, unknowing to Chal's bottled up anger. A few chortles rang throughout the room.
"You don't know when to shut up, do you Marsters?" she snarled, not letting him get a word in edge wise. "You just went and degraded an innocent person, right in front of an audience, and your despicable cronies!" Kadric's friends growled at this, but Chal rushed ahead.
"I don't know how people can stand you, romping about like you think you're better than everyone else. Well, you're NOT. Yoyo is my best friend, and I can't STAND it when people like you beat them senseless with words and stupid remarks. You're a disgrace to wizards, you're a disgrace to Hogwarts, and, oh, you know what? You're EVEN a disgrace to Slytherin!" She poked him in the chest, hard. He stumbled back a step and she glared furiously at him. With that she spun around on her heel and ran up the steps to search for Yoyo.
She found her, up on the sixth floor in an abandoned classroom, bawling her eyes out. Chal sighed heavily. When Yoyo had needed her shoulder, she hadn't been there like she said she would have. This made her feel doubly guilty. Why did he have to like such a slime ball anyway? She ran up to Yoyo and grabbed her in arms, telling her Kadric wasn't worth the tears. But deep inside, she had a feeling he was. At least, sometime soon he would be.
………
Chalondra unwillingly snuck to tutoring on Thursday, hoping that Kadric maybe hated her as much as she hated him right now to not come. But when she went to the Greenhouses she found number Three already unlocked. With a resigned sigh she stepped in, seeing Kadric's silhouette in the backroom where was watering some plants.
"Hello," he called calmly. Chal didn't reply. She just set her books on the table, pretending he didn't exist. She'd ask him some questions, he'd assign her some, and she'd leave. They'd all be happy. Happy, happy, happy.
"So, nice conversation we had yesterday, hmm?" Kadric asked. Chalondra looked up to see him leaning against the door, his shirt sleeves rolled up and his tie loosened around his neck again. Chal sighed, averting his gaze.
"Yea, absolutely pleasant," she retorted, taking out a sheet of paper. "Now can we just get this over with?"
Kadric tutted. "Now you're the one in the bad mood."
Chal said nothing. She could remember Kadric's bad mood clearly from Tuesday. "Well at least I have a good reason."
Kadric's face darkened ominously for a moment, but then cleared. He grabbed a chair opposite of Chalondra and was quite for a few minutes as Chal absently scribbled some words from the textbook.
"You know, I wasn't being mean to you yesterday, just that Yoyo – "
"Yoyo is one of my best friends," Chal emphasized, glaring at him. "If you're a jerk to her, you're immediately a jerk to me. Did you know you broke her heart, Kadric?" She stood up suddenly, listening to herself blabber on and on about their conversation without really thinking.
"I told her not to tell you how she felt, because I KNEW you were a jerk! I knew you would tease her mercilessly in front of all those people! I knew you would degrade some innocent person just because you're so terribly insecure yourself you can't even tell a person what's bothering you! I tried to stop her from getting her heart broken, but she didn't listen. She had feelings for you THAT MUCH, Kadric! And you just blew her off! I don't CARE if your friends were there, I don't CARE if you had an audience, you should have respected her feelings! You didn't have to be such a bully! You're just – just – you're so different in front of your friends. You're fine around me, but you're just….UNBEARABLE!"
Chalondra breathed heavily, smoothing out her hair and suddenly sitting down. Kadric only stared at her, a smirk tugging at his lips.
"Don't even start," snapped Chalondra. Kadric obediently stayed silent, until Chal couldn't bear it any longer. "Say something," she ordered. Kadric seemed to ponder over it.
"Something," he replied, grinning openly. Chalondra snapped her textbook shut.
"That's it. I can't work with you anymore. I thought this could work. I guess not." As she got up, Kadric got a panicked look in his eyes. Only because he would be missing out on detentions and points, but Chal didn't know that. She didn't even see the look.
"Er – wait!" he called, standing up suddenly. Chal turned back.
"What?"
"I didn't know you…cared about your friends so much," he decided. Chal grimaced.
"That doesn't matter. The point is that you were rude and inconsiderate. That used to be ME, Kadric! That could have been any student, and you would have done the same. The point is that you have no heart."
"Now that's just out of line," Kadric said suddenly, coming around the table so they weren't shouting at each other – that would attract attention. "I do too have a heart."
"It must be made of stone," Chal snapped. "Everything you ever do is fake, laughing with your friends, being overly cruel when it's obvious you don't want to be, kissing people," she added, ticking things off on her fingers. "It's quite obvious that anything of importance matters little to you. Like people's feelings, people's first kisses – "
"Okay, okay! I get it!" Kadric finally managed to squeeze some words into Chalondra's bout. "But I do have a heart," he continued to argue, crossing his arms. Chal rolled her eyes.
"Why are we even talking about this? The point is that you broke Yoyo's heart, and I can't forgive you for that. That was just rude, ignorant, selfish, and completely bullyish. THAT'S why you have no heart at all. Everything you do is fake and has no meaning whatsoev—"
Chal was cut off in her tirade, with a familiar and angering way. Kadric's right hand had cupped her chin, and he immediately leaned in to kiss her. His left hand was on her waist, and Chal's eyes widened in shock and horror. This was wrong, this was wrong, this was wrong. So WHY in all that is holy did it have to feel so right?
Just her and Kadric, alone, in a greenhouse, with his hand on her waist, his lips on hers…
Wait! Kadric! Kadric the Slytherin, Kadric who had broken Yoyo's heart and would probably break thousands of other girls – maybe even hers. Chal immediately ripped away, but not soon enough so Kadric couldn't smirk, because smirk he did.
"Would you stop doing that?" Chal screamed, planting her hands on her hips, eyes burning into his. Kadric only grinned.
"But it's so funny to see you squirm." He leaned in. "And besides, it was obvious you enjoyed it."
Chalondra felt like slapping him. But that had done nothing last time. And besides, she didn't even really want to. "You shut your mouth," she snapped. "You have NO idea how I feel about things. Like being taken advantage of."
Kadric's face suddenly drained of color a little bit. "You won't go running off, will you?"
Chal placed a forced smile on her lips. "What, going to miss me if I do?"
He frowned. "No, it's just that – tutoring, helps, with my, ah, Herbology skills." Chal could see some obvious quick thinking had been made, but she didn't question him further.
"I can't believe you. First you totally diss my friend, and then you pounce on me. Make up your mind, all right? You probably belong with some other slime ball Slytherin girl. You'd match perfectly." Chal stormed out of the greenhouse, books clutched in her hand.
"Are we still on for Tuesday?" She heard Kadric call from the greenhouse door. All she did was roll her eyes and continue marching off. But of course she would return on Tuesday. She always would unless they officially stopped.
! It's ONLY an infatuation. I don't REALLY like him or anything, Only an infatuation…Finally it dawned on her. It wasn't only an infatuation. She truly liked Kadric, for all his annoying, bully, jerkish ways. How was that possible?
Stupid, stupid Kadric and his good looks, charm, and smile. Stupid him, she thought numbly. She was turning into one of those love-sick girls now…almost like Yoyo. Eugh.
These tutoring lessons weren't teaching her anything that would be of use in Herbology – they were only teaching her how to get her heart broken.