Gravitation
Title: Makeikusa (Lost Cause)
Chapter 2: Despair (Zetsubo)
Disclaimer: I do not own gravitation no matter how much I love it
Normal POV
Six months later,and still no one knows Shuuichi's whereabouts. When he quit Bad Luck, they disbanded because Fujisaki and Hiro refused to work with a singer other than Shuuichi. Nittle Grasper also disbanded because Ryuuichi was upset about what was going on and said he's not going to sing unless Shuuichi comes back and rejoins Bad Luck. All of their fans don't know why they disbanded because Tohma kept the media quiet about Shuuichi's disappearance.
Shuuichi had moved into an apartment building, close to where Yuki lives so he had to be careful to not let anyone see him especially Yuki.It wasn't that difficult, a simple disguise such as a hat and glasses worked pretty well. But the only time he left his house was when he needed to go shopping or pay some bills. Shuuichi was too depressed to go out anywhere else and have fun. That's why he didn't tell anyone where he is. Besides that, Shuuichi thought he'd be happy without Yuki, but was only fooling himself. No matter what Yuki did to him, Shuuichi would still love him. 'Maybe Yuki is happy I left. Of course he is.' Shuuichi thought and broke down into tears.
Shuuichi's POV
I can't take it anymore. I knew Yuki never cared for me and that he never will. I don't have anyone to talk to about this anymore. It's partly my fault for not keeping in touch with everyone. But then again, I've been talking to Hiro and he's been keeping on update about everyone. We stopped talking last month though. The last thing I heard was that Nittle Grasper disbanded right after Bad Luck did, and Tohma is going back to being the president of NG Productions. Hiro finally proposed to Ayaka-chan so maybe that's why he hasn't called. I wish Yuki would propose to me, but I know that will never happen. Hiro's way to busy now. But even before that, Hiro didn't pay much attention me anymore, I felt kind of lonely and left out. The only person I could ever count on for anything, and he doesn't realize I exist anymore. Everyone else isn't close enough to me to talk to. I lost my best friend and my lover around the same time.
'I'm not strong enough to handle this any longer. I can't go on without the two most important people in my life... Or rather, the only two people whoever cared for me. Maybe Yuki didn't love me, but he cared otherwise he wouldn't have dealt with me for so long. I'm not important to anyone or maybe I never was. I bet that if I died ,no one would cry or even care. It would take them so long to find my body because they haven't even tried to look for me now. No one would remember me. If they do, it'll only be for a short while. Everyone, even my fans will forget me quickly. I wont be remembered too long.'
After having those thoughts and realizing it to be possibly very true, I dragged myself into the last bedroom which was very dark. After all, it was almost 10:30 p.m. I crawled behind my bed and sat there, back against the wall. 'No one would care if I died... No one. So, I should end my misery and spare everyone from my stupidness and annoying personality. That would make them all very happy.' I took out a mini knife from the draw next to my bed. I stared at my reflection in it. I looked terrible. I thought about dong this many times before, but in the end I could always find a way not too, perhaps because I was too scared. This time, I'll go through with it. I raised the sharp blade to my throat and pressed it gently onto my skin. The metal was cold. I slit my neck a few times and then went to my wrist and cut it where the veins were.So much blood gushed out of me. I began to feel weak and vision became blurred.
I continued cutting myself in random places. I heard the door to my apartment slam open. I wonder who that was. It doesn't matter. They're too late. I laughed but it was painful and I let out a cry. This let the person know where to find me because they came into my bedroom. I couldn't tell who it was. I couldn't see nor could I lift up my head. "Shuuichi." a very worried familiar voice said. It was Tohma-san. I know that voice anywhere. He took a step closer to me. "Don't come any closer or I'll do it!" I threatened while holding the sharp object to my heart. "I don't want to be saved. I want my suffering to end. Please, just let me get one thing I want. I never asked for much, but I always end up suffering. Please, Tohma-san." I began to get weaker. "Even after all that's happened, I still love him. I wish my only wish could come true before I die. I just want to hear him say three simple words, 'I love you.' That's it, but I never will and now I don't want to. I want to die peacefully without him on my mind." And with that, I pushed the dagger into my chest. Before everything went black, I heard Tohma-san scream something but I'm not sure what and my whole life flashed before me. "Good bye everyone." was my last few words. Everything went black.