Xu Huang: And so the story picks up where it left off, with Xu Huang, grand general of the Yellow Turban Rebellion! Destroying Han generals left and right…
Xu Huang will not be mentioned at this time.
Xu Huang: What!
Instead we will talk about Liu Bei and his brothers, who are heading off to battle the Yellow Turbans. Approaching Cheng Yuanzhi, Liu Bei hurls a reproach...
Liu Bei: O malcontents! Why not dismount and be bound?
Cheng Yuanzhi: Oh, I never thought about that before. I didn't know we could do that. What do you think Deng Mao?
WHACK!
Zhang Fei: Sorry!
Cheng Yuanzhi: Oh my god! You killed Deng Mao!
And with that, Guan Yu cut Cheng Yuanzhi in twain.
Zhang Fei: Was that necessary?
Liu Bei: I have two swords and that is twice as cool.
Xu Huang: Hold it! You couldn't mention me, but you talk about this guy who died?
At least he died. Anyways, Liu Bei also saved Qin Zhou. Then he went to save his old master Lu Zhi, who ran into trouble. They met up with Huangfu Song and Zhu Jun. Apparently, they were going to fight Zhang Jue's brothers. Zhang Bao and Zhang Liang. This would be their hardest fight yet. Actually, the Zhang brothers got their asses kicked.
Guan Yu: How pathetic, and these are the so called Lords of Earth and Human.
Zhang Fei: I don't know, that Zhang Bao was pretty cool.
Guan Yu: Was? He's still alive you dick.
He indeed was alive. The Zhang brothers were being chased by Cao Cao. Cao Cao's father, Cao Song, was born of the Xiahou family, but was originally brought up by the Eunuch Cao Teng. Cao Cao was a devious little youth, only surpassed by his uncle. Cao Cao knew he had to do something. So he killed a hooker. His uncle walked by and noticed this act, so he ran to tell Cao Song. But when Cao Song went to see, the hooker had already been disposed of. Cao Song never trusted his brother again. He also told his brother's boss what happened, and his brother was fired, out of a cannon. By and by Cao Cao became a commanding officer. The Eunuch Jian Shou's uncle was found carrying a sword and was arrested and beaten on Cao Cao's watch. Actually it was a sharpened stick, but people got the message. Don't #$ with Cao Cao. Liu Bei finally met up with Lu Zhi, who was in a cage-cart.
Lu Zhi: I was holding off the rebels when the Eunuch Zhuo Feng asked for a bribe. I wouldn't give him one, so he arrested me and replaced me with Dong Zhuo.
Zhang Fei was so enraged that he would slay the guards, but Liu Bei checked him. Unfortunately, Guan Yu had already cut them in twain.
Liu Bei: Damnit Yunchang! Now how is Lu Zhi going to be transported to the capital?
Luo Zhan: With little they could do, Liu Bei and his brothers went off to fight Zhang Jue.
Lu Zhi: Umm... guys? Help?
And so the brothers rescued Dong Zhuo. But when he asked what offices they had, they could only say that they had none. So Dong Zhuo was disrespectful. Guan Yu became so angry that he could only watch as Zhang Fei raised his spear to strike down Dong Zhuo.
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