AUTUMN DAYS

DISCLAIMER: If there was something which I did own which pertained to this story I do not own it any more so it's no use coming crying and complaining to me. You could try, of course, eating chocolate; while it doesn't actually solve your legal problems it makes the big companies richer.

Chapter 7

"We have to escape this place!" declared Young Link as he fell off the staircase for the tenth time in a row. "Otherwise we'll live the rest of our lives here!"
"Yes," begrudged Nana, "but don't you think that it's rather…" she giggled slightly – "rather nice here?"
"As in, 'everyone is so happy to be here' nice?"
"Exactly," smiled Nana.
"Please let me off this leash," said Popo.
"No talking!" said Nana sternly. "Slave dogs don't talk."
"I-"
"You sleep outside tonight, then!" pronounced Nana. "Bad slave dog, Popo, bad slave dog."
Young Link tapped Nana on the back. She turned around, and then Young Link said, "Nana, how exactly do you send Popo outside as a… uh… punishment when a) he's tied to you by a steel tether and b) the giant stack of leaves has trapped us indoors?"
Nana's eyes widened, horrified. "We have to escape this place!" she said.
"Exactly," said Young Link.
"Don't you dare speak back," said Nana in a faked voice of calm.
Young Link, who didn't want to end up suspended over a vat of acid again, backed off slowly.
"Get the other kids," called Nana behind him. "As well as that… that cheater."
"Ness?" said Young Link.
"SEE?" cried Nana. "HE CHEATS!111111oneoneone"

"See? He cheats," said Fox, nudging Bowser's arm. Sure enough, Bowser could make out what the parrot Falco was doing.
Theau Thor stepped forward. "Yes, Falco is a parrot now. No, if you contradict me I will take it badly. STFUN00BWHOCANTEVENUSETEHSPASEBARR."
Looking closely, Bowser could indeed see how Falco had gained the advantage in this memory game. "I see. A combination of the X-Ray visor he borrowed from Ms Aran and the technique of looking under the glass table."
They both watched as Falco expertly climbed under the table, looked at the card faces for about twenty seconds, climbed back up, and turned two over.
"Both-a red super-ellipsoids!" exclaimed Mario. "You are a master at this game-a."
"Ingenious, eh?" whispered Fox, nudging Bowser's arm.
"Yeah," growled Bowser. "It was clever how he replaced the giant oak table with this tiny little glass piece effortlessly."
Neither of them stopped to think how lucky it was that it hadn't been broken. Every single flying crowbar had missed.

Every single flying crowbar had missed. Donkey Kong and Jigglypuff stood there, puzzled. "I'm usually so good at breakin' stuff," said Donkey Kong in his slow voice.
"Jig jilly jig," said Jigglypuff sweetly, patting Donkey Kong's arm. I can't translate that without upping the rating of this story. Sick, twisted little balloon Pokemon.
"Wait…" said Donkey Kong. "Maybe I keep missing the ancient wooden sculpture with these crowbars 'cause I'm throwin' them the wrong way." And sure enough, he was actually throwing the crowbars at the wall diving this room from the room which a few of the adults were using as a games room.
"Jig iggly puff pijy iggi…" "That explains why we can hear them talking…"
Voices floated in from next door. "Oh no-a! It was a green square! I give up-a; I shall strip for you!"
"And dance like a little birdie, plumber boy!" someone growled.
"Excuse me?" said another voice sharply.
FM. "Falco, old friend, he didn't mean that, he-"
M. "You dare call me a bird?"
B. "I- I-"
FL. "And what's wrong with being a bird?"
FM. "Falco, it was just a-"
M. "I can speak for myself-a, Fox, I-"
B. "I'm sorry, guys!" cried Bowser. "It's not like-"
FL. "You asked for it, turtle boy…"
FM. "Woah, Falco, don't get too worked up,"
M. "Shut-a up, Fox!"
B. "Let me apologise-"
FL. "Apologise this!"
FM. "Ooh. That's gotta hurt."
M. "It's my fault. I suggested playing Strip Memory-a."
B. "Ow… my arms-"
FL. "And you, Mario, what's so bad about being a bird?"
FM. "This is a sorry excuse for proper writing. Aside from the inverted quotes, it reads like a script. And Falco, you-"
M. "I don't want to be associated with a chicken like you."
B. "Ow… my head-"
FL. "Oh, you'll pay for that, wog."
FM. "Hey, guys, no racism here. This is supposed to be a happy day, not-"
M. "Shut up, you voluptuous vulpine!"
B. "Ow… my lungs-"
FL. "What did you call Fox?"
FM. "A vulpine. That's no insult, it's-"
M. "I called him a vicious vulpine-a, and he is, so there!"
B. "Ow… my stomach-"
FL. "Did you call him voluptuous?"
FM. "He what?"
M. "Not-a true!"
B. "Ow… my v-"
At this point, Jigglypuff dived onto Donkey Kong's head, covering his ears, because the conversation was becoming inappropriate for a large ape.
At this point, Pichu dived and covered Jigglypuff's ears, as Jigglypuff was too pink and innocent to hear what was said next.
At this point, Pikachu dived and covered Pichu's ears, as Pichu was too yellow and innocent to hear the subject of discussion in the next room.
Marth and Roy ran greedily to the wall and listened to the dialogue, panting heavily.
At this point, Kirby dived and covered Pikachu's ears, as if Pikachu didn't hear Kirby eating Donkey Kong, then Pikachu wouldn't notice.
Mmm… Donkey Kong… thought Kirby. A good meal, for sure.

"A good meal, for sure," said Link quickly, "but surely you could take a break from cooking this morning?"
Zelda and Peach looked at each other and considered.
"But then who would cook the honey-coated leather?" said Peach, aghast.
"I'll ask someone else to cook a… a less Hyrulean or Mushroom Kingdom-ish breakfast, and a more… exotic one."
"Like eggs and stuff?" said Zelda.
"Exactly," said Link.
Zelda and Peach shrugged. "Okay," said Peach. "But don't hurt the green pigeon soup bowl."
Link gave her a weird look.
"A ha ha ha ha ha!" laughed Peach quickly. "It was a joke! The soup bowl isn't really real." She glanced around, frightened, then darted from the room. The others stared.

The others stared. They stared too much. If Ganondorf was to pull off his super-evil plan to destroy the whole of the known universe and possibly some of the unknown universe and cause much damage and power-gain in the process, he would have to wait until Young Link was alone. Then, and only then, would he be able to give Young Link the dark sorcerer's powerful super (wedgie) of fatalistic and deadly doom.
Unsuspectingly, Young Link walked along, humming. Then, he stopped. "It's quiet," he said. "Too quiet…"

"Too quiet?" said Ness. "You don't like me because I'm too quiet?"
"No," said Nana, "it's because you're a cheat."
"But you just said-"
"SEE? HE CHEATS!" cried Nana, producing a mallet. Luckily, Popo knocked her out with an ice pick before anyone could get hurt.
"We should leave," said Ness. Popo's only response was to tug the leash around his neck.
"Oh, yeah," said Ness. "It must be hard…"
"Tell me about it," said Popo, trying again to bite the leash off.
"Tell you what," said Ness. "I'll find something to cut off that leash, and free you."
"Oh, thank you so much," said Popo, excitedly.

"Oh, thank you so much," said Donkey Kong, before realising that Kirby wasn't going to give him a banana, but instead eat him. "AH! SOMEONE HELP!" he shouted.
"Nice try," said Kirby. "I'm covering Pikachu's ears." And with nobody around to hear it, Donkey Kong's fate might not have ever been discovered.
"Nooooo…" screamed Zelda, running inside in slow motion, diving in front of Donkey Kong to protect him from harm. Kirby ate them both.
"A lot of good that did," said Donkey Kong sincerely, as they fell into the bottomless pit of Kirby's mouth.
What a sad ending.

"What a sad ending," said Young Link, pocketing his GameKid.
Creeping behind him, Mewtwo shuddered.
"Does he have to talk out loud like that?" he psychically whispered to Ness.
"Keep on moving," said Ness. "I have something I need to do as well. You just get that baroque CD back from Young Link's room and all will be well."
"Fine…" bethought Mewtwo.
"Exactly."

"Exactly," said Captain Falcon. "That's why you should marry me."
"Because I'm a little old for a baby like you?" said Samus.
"Exactly – hey, that's an insult! Oh, well, you are the hottest person in the universe, so let's start lovin', eh?"
Samus fired a couple of Super Missiles and ran. For no apparent reason, alarm bells started ringing, the air exploded here and there, and a giant countdown clock hovered in midair.
Captain Falcon stared after her. "Woah. Did she make those numbers appear? It's like a pattern! Ten… then nine… then eight… then seven…" He smiled. "Six…"

"Six… you're not six," said Ganondorf to his imaginary friend. "You're two."
"Did I hear something?" said Young Link, turning around, making Ganondorf duck for cover, and allowing Mewtwo to open the door to his room.
"Wha-?" said Young Link, spinning around. Mewtwo dived into Young Link's room at the last minute, and Ganondorf, no longer watched, let out a sigh of relief.
"Did I hear something?" Ganondorf dived to the floor, and Mewtwo reached for Young Link's CD.
"Did I hear a CD move?" Mewtwo slid into the shadows, and Ganondorf produced his large axe.
"Was that the whistle of an axe?" I think you know what happened.

"I think you know what happened," said Luigi. "In fact-a, I know you did. So who hit Bowser and you?"
"Lombardi…" whispered Mario. "It was that evil anthropomorphic obsessive-compulsive obnoxious uncaring cynical bird, Falco."
"BOX CUTTER?" screamed Link, running past.
"But why didn't Fox say-a so?" pressed Luigi.
"You moron-a, brother… Fox is dead…"
"No!" gasped Luigi.
"…dead meat if he blabs about his pal…"
"Accursed Italians," trembled Luigi, waving his fist in anger at Lombardi. He would finish this later.
He would finish this later. While it was a great burger, Ness wasn't particularly hungry, and he'd just realised that he was going to free his friend Popo first.
Upon reaching the Ice Climbers, he found Popo huddled on the ground. Ness tapped him on the back.
"It's all right, Popo," he whispered. "I have the leash."
"No!" said Popo. "Ness – it's a trap!"
Ness spun around to confront Nana, who was standing tall, holding an ice-climbing whip.
"Well, well, well," she hissed. "The CHEET?()(&(!"
Nana wants to fight!
Ness tried to get away, but couldn't!
Nana attacks – Ness loses 25 HP!
Popo uses Nana as a shield!
Nana turns on Popo! 15 damage to Popo!
Ness finishes off the hamburger! Nana loses 104 HP!
For no apparent reason, a Bob-omb explodes! Lots of damage to everyone!
An excessive exclamation mark deals 0 damage to Popo!
Everyone dies!
Ness ran for it!
"Coward," Nana hissed, before running away too. That was deliberate irony.

"That was deliberate irony," protested Fox. "You'd expect a fox to rat on his pals, but I didn't. You'd also expect a fox to be more violent than a bird, but I wasn't."
Luigi narrowed his eyes, clearly not satisfied.
"What did you say about birds?" said a voice from the next room, angrily. Then, after a moment, "That does it, Fox. I'll have to kill you like I killed your father."
Their eyes widened.
"Run!" said Fox.

"Run!" shouted Mewtwo, darting from his hiding place, CD in hand. Ganondorf jumped out of the shadows as well, and they ran together, escaping from the ultimate danger – Young Link suffering from sugar withdrawal!
"Gah!" screamed Young Link, throwing small tables and children at his newfound enemy.
"We have to do something!" shouted Ganondorf.
"Use your dark magic!"
Ganondorf summoned all his dark magical powers. Black lightning streamed into his hands, and he cast forth a ball of energy. It turned into a giant white fluffy bunny.
"Ooh, a bunny!" said Young Link.
"Keep running!" shouted Mewtwo. And looking back, they could see that Young Link had completely lost interest in the bunny.
"I'll use my psychic powers to make him think we're behind him!" said Mewtwo. He focused all his energy, and it was so.
"How weird," said Young Link. He stopped, confused.
Mewtwo and Ganondorf kept running.
"There is no escape!" cried Ganondorf. "Young Link is relentless! Such a possessive child!"
"We shall have to confront him," concluded Mewtwo. "But it is too confined here to have the upper hand. I mean, we're running down a staircase; of course he's on the upper ground."
They tripped and fell down the stairs, landing on the ground. Young Link swiftly caught up.
"So…" he said ominously.
Before the crazed elf child could hurt him, Nana dived bodily into Young Link and started hitting him with a pick-axe.
"Ah!" screamed Young Link.
"You," hissed Nana furiously. "I told you to find Ness! And the next thing I knew, Ness knocked me out and tried to steal my slave dog!"
"I'm not your-" began Popo.
Nana hit him with the axe, knocking her boyfriend out. "Answer me, Young Link. Why?"
"It was-"
"DON'T TALK BACK!" screamed Nana, ramming the axe into Young Link's heart.
"Ouch," whispered Ganondorf. He and Mewtwo glanced at each other, and then they began to back away ever so slowly…
"The pain…" moaned Young Link.
Nana smiled viciously. "Oh, I haven't even started yet."

"Oh, I haven't even started yet." And certainly Captain Falcon's relaxed pose suggested that there was truth to that statement. But Samus wouldn't let him – she was a bounty hunter, renowned around the world for her quick thinking and detachment to killing, and also well known for her amazing pseudo-exoskeleton/suit, which allowed her to fry her opponents while killing them in ten different ways at once.
She was not going to be defeated by this sorry excuse for a bounty hunter: why, Captain Falcon couldn't hurt someone with his bare fists without announcing it to the world beforehand! And Falcon's driving consisted of ramming all the other vehicles in the street into walls, destroying his own car in the process.
Samus blew a hole in the nearest air conditioning vent, slipped inside using morphball mode, and fled.
"Wait!" shouted Captain Falcon, giving chase by diving into the air conditioning vent. "Come back!"

"Come back!" cried Peach. But the hallucination wouldn't listen. It was so unfair. Was it because of her blue eyes? All of the imaginary gremlins hated her for her pretty blue eyes.
Peach liked to skip and have a lovely time because she was just a wonderful person to be around FOR ABOUT SEVEN SECONDS, and then she became oh so annoying and her sweet voice began to break people's ears and she started attacking people for not complimenting her enough and all sorts of other wonderful things.
She sighed. "What a bad day."

"What a bad day," said Luigi, as Falco's laser blaster missed his face by centimetres again.
"Agreed," said Fox. "Falco really does have temper problems. WAIT! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"
The blasts came more rapidly. They dived out of the way.
"We need to hide-a," said Luigi as they ran. "But where?"
"A broom cupboard?" laughed Fox.
"Kirby's mouth?"
"The air conditioning vents?"

"The air conditioning vents?" said Kirby. "You really think that I'm going to fall for that one?"
Captain Falcon, who was lost in said vents, made a puzzled look.
"A person wouldn't be stupid enough to hide there," said Kirby. "You're obviously that runaway pineapple."
Captain Falcon scrambled away, crashing headfirst into someone.
"Hey!" he said. "Who else is in the air vents right now?"
Mewtwo and Ganondorf sighed. "If only my psychic powers could reduce the creature to dust."
Ganondorf struggled to squeeze past Falcon. "If only I could get him out of the way – of course! I'll use my dark magic to turn him to dust!"
Ganondorf focused his magical powers, but all he managed to do was turn Captain Falcon into a pink fluffy bunny.
"Close enough," said Mewtwo, and he and Ganondorf propelled down the AC vents, only to land directly in Kirby's mouth.
Captain Falcon, unaware that Ganondorf had turned him into a pink fluffy bunny who would probably be subjected to tea party torture by Peach, smiled ironically. Serves them right; they're gone now…, he thought. Inside Kirby's mouth…

Inside Kirby's mouth…
"Oh, hello there," said Zelda, pausing from her fondling of DK.
"Hello, human… elf… creature," said Mewtwo. "How did you end up here?"
"Does it matter?" said DK, eyeing Ganondorf's leg and wondering about how much meat there was in that alone. "At least we've someone to talk to."
Zelda smiled. "Donkey Kong, shut up and let me show you what Hyruleans do when we're heavily underpopulated."
"Let's just move to the other side of Kirby's giant stomach," said Ganondorf, fleeing. Mewtwo followed suit.
"Hey," came DK's voice from behind them. "This reminds me of what I used to do for banana money."
Ganondorf and Mewtwo walked faster. But not fast enough. So they ran.

"So they ran," breathed Nana angrily. "Now who do I take out my excess frustration on?"
A light bulb fell on her head, knocking her out.
And so began the Smash Brothers' second day trapped in the Smash Mansion. They have my pity, that's for sure. And you'll be pitiable yourself if you don't review.