AUTUMN DAYS

DISCLAIMER: Actually, I don't own what you own, unless we co-own what you and I own. I also have an imaginary friend. Now READ AND REVIEW!

Chapter 10

"It's the end of the world!" decreed Captain Falcon as he fell down the stairs (he took the situation ever-so-slightly too seriously.)
"Oh, is it?" said Peach, not looking up from the rather interesting magazine she was reading (it was about turnips!).
"Yes," said Captain Falcon, as he started to froth at the mouth wildly.
"Ooh, how very interesting," said Peach, attempting to bite her own neck, vampire-fashion, but to little effect (naturally).
"Perhaps we should panic or something," concluded Captain Falcon.
"Indeed-ly so," said Peach.

"MISSILES!" said Samus. "I LUV TEH EXPLODE KIL TEHM ALL KIL TEHM AL VILENTLY!"
"Shouldn't we find someone to blow up before we blow them up?" said Zelda, confused by this line of reasoning.
"BOOMS!1" said Samus.
Zelda sighed. "Uh… Marth! Come he-ere…"

"Hark!" said Marth gallantly, stopping in the middle of his censored with Roy. "Do I hear Zelda referring to us by name?"
"Yes!" said Roy. "Come, we must make our way to that censored-y censored, Zelda." And with Marth (and a small amount of difficulty), he stood up and headed out of the door, removing his censored and putting on what people would call 'real clothes' on the way.

"Okay," said Young Link. "So stealing Luigi's money is out of the question. Surely there has to be some way to get one!"
Young Link, Popo, Nana and Kirby stared at each other, all the time thinking of how they could best obtain the newest gaming console: the amazing GameSuperellipsoid™!
"Don't mean to sound rude," said Ness, striding into the room, "but we are kind of trapped in this mansion indefinitely."
"Oh, yeah," said Young Link. "That explains why we haven't gone to get ice cream or something yet!"
"ICE CREAM!" screamed Kirby, half crying. "WANT ICE CREAM!" He collapsed to the ground and started pounding it with his fists.
"I don't get it," said Popo. "What was so bad about the GameSpheroid™?"
"Shut up!" yelled Ness, Young Link and Nana at the same time. Nana took the liberty of hitting Popo in the head with an ice pick.
"Shut up!" yelled Theau Thor. "How many times do I have to tell you to stop referring to that train-wreck called 'Summer Days'?" He sulked a bit.
"Hey…" said Ness. "We could still get ice cream or the like!"
"ICE CREAM?" bellowed Kirby. "WANT ICE CREAM EAT EVERYONE!"
"…" said Nana.
"…yeah…" said Ness. "Yes… Kirby… ice cream… RUN!"
The Ice Climbers, Young Link and Ness ran out of the room.
Curiosity brought them back in slightly less than two minutes.

"Hi, everyone!" said Luigi. "Well, here we are at the meeting of Rejected-a Sidekicks!"
"I am not," said Roy, "a sidekick."
"Speak for yourself, birdbrain," hissed Falco.
"That was completely ironic," noted Mewtwo.
"Shut-a up!" said Luigi. "We didn't- hey, since when are you-a a sidekick?"
"I can do a side kick!" said Sheik the sheik.
"GET BACK HERE!" screamed a slightly hysterical voice. "WE NEED TO BLOW THE PEOPLE UP!"
After Mewtwo and Sheik had left ("How did that extra person get in-a here?" wondered Luigi), the three rejected sidekicks sat there glumly.
"Why did Marth get rid of you, anyway?" asked Falco, poking at a grey feather.
"Something about wanting to go it alone," said Roy. "That's fine, of course, but I would have thought that old Princie preferred group censored to, well, one-on-one. Get it? One-on-one?"
Luigi and Falco discreetly shifted their chairs back.

Mewtwo returned to his room and tripped over Pikachu and Jigglypuff.
"What on earth are you two doing here?"
The two little Pokemon whispered to each other. "Pika…" "Well…" Pikachu nudged Jigglypuff, prompting Jigglypuff to nudge Pikachu, prompting Pikachu to nudge Jigglypuff, prompting Jigglypuff to nudge Pikachu.
Mewtwo watched this fierce contest bemusedly until Pikachu emerged as the clear victor (he nudged Jigglypuff so hard that she went flying). Sighing in resignation, Jigglypuff coughed a bit, then spoke.
"Jig iggly ig iggle ppu piguly guff gif jiggle pug!" "I feel that this is too important to forget to ignore!"
"Pika pi…" "No, the other secret…"
"Jig. Ji… jih pug ip iglup." "Oh. I… I don't want to say."
Mewtwo waited for them to tell him this secret, which was obviously very important.

"Okay," said Peach. "If it really is the end of the world, we'd better put safety hats on!"
Captain Falcon nodded in agreement. How could you go wrong with safety hats on? Obviously, you couldn't.
"But where do we get tin foil hats?" wondered Peach. "It's like nobody keeps tin foil around here anymore." She smiled, lost in a brief twinge of nostalgia. "…oh well, we'd better try to find some."
"Why tin foil?" said Captain Falcon. "I've heard that cement hats work even better!"
"Wow!" said Peach. "If they work better, they must be better!"
"Tautological fools," muttered Ness, walking past.
Ness went into the entrance hall, where Young Link and Kirby were. "Have you two made any progress yet?"
"No," said Young Link. "Obviously, we're going to need more than just a desktop fan to blow this mountain of leaves away."
"Please," said Ness condescendingly. "The leaves barely go a hundred metres up – this is a hill of leaves, not a mountain."
"It's a figure of speech," said Kirby, his mouth half-filled with rotten carrots.
"I know," sighed Ness. "I just feel so tense, so high-strung. It's the whole confinement thing. It's not good for people like us."
Young Link nodded in agreement. "We've got to find a more efficient way of escaping. Why don't we…"
"…blow them away?" said Ness, literally reading Young Link's mind. "True. Kirby, you have quite a strong breath, don't you?"
Kirby was too busy inhaling a grand piano to reply.
"…we'll take that as a yes," said Young Link. "Now where in Hyrule have Popo and Nana gotten to?"
"Nana and Popo!" corrected Nana, striding into the room and pulling her 'boyfriend' Popo in along with her.
"Does it matter?" sighed Popo.
"Yes," said Nana, "though I'd prefer you call us 'Nana and her Slave Dog'!"
Ness shook his head. "Nana, I'd like to remind you again that Popo is not your slave dog, slave chicken, or slave in any form. I'd also like to remind you that slavery is illegal in every civilised country that I know of."
"CHEAT!" proclaimed Nana, waving a finger at Ness.
Kirby sighed, accidentally blowing Popo across the room in the process.
Nana gasped, and wheeled around to blame Kirby. "YOU DAMAGED MY SLAVE DOG! Good slave dog," she added, smiling at Popo as if he was a… well, pet, I suppose.
Young Link hit Nana in the head with the flat of his sword, and managed to knock her out (thus shutting her up as well – bonus!).
"Okay," said Ness. "Let's all think-"
"No thanks," said Kirby, opening up a bag of wedding cakes.

"I wonder why Marth is taking so long?" said Samus.
"No idea," said Zelda, seating herself.
"Grr," said Samus (she was growling (you probably knew that)). "But know how do we KILL people?" She wept bitterly.
"No idea," repeated Zelda, rummaging in a handbag for a toffee.
"Maybe…" said Samus slowly. "Hey, that's a great idea!"
"Toffee?" offered Zelda, holding one out. Samus might have accepted, but as Kirby zoomed through the room at light speed, grabbing it, we'll never know. A Wigglytuff landed in place of the toffee.
"That's not a toffee," said Samus.
Both women screamed at the sight of the bunny-like Pokemon, which was now bobbing from side to side.
"That's a Wigglytuff!" said Zelda.
Peach played a laugh track.
"LAUGH TRACK?" said Captain Falcon.
"IT MEANS THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!" screamed Peach. She and C. Falcon raced out of the room, hoping to reach the tin foil – sorry, cement hats in time. Would they make it? (Yes.)

"Just tell me," said Mewtwo, his patience beginning to wear thing.
"Jig…" whispered Jigglypuff. "Should we?..."
Pikachu frowned; Jigglypuff did have a bit of a point.
The two little Pokemon leaned in close to further conspire.
Mewtwo tapped his foot against the ground. Why wouldn't those two inferior fools simply tell him what they were talking about?
"Pika pi chik…" "I think it's working…"
"What's working?" said Mewtwo.
The two smaller Pokemon both blushed and Jigglypuff said, "Jig…" "Nothing."
Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Pika; pik pikachu." "Yes, nothing at all."
Mewtwo was becoming aggravated…

Roy, Luigi and Falco sat there for a while. After Luigi had whistled the Mario Bros. Overworld Theme about 3 hundred times, Roy spoke up.
"Man, this blows. I wish I was back home, where everyone censored me with censored and censored." Just the thought of this was enough to make Roy's censored stand tall and start to froth censored censored.
"I know," said Falco. "If only we could get out of this forsaken rock. The sooner the better, I say."
"Agreed-a," said Luigi. "Although I would-a appreciate it if-a you were to stop touching my censored, as I do-a respect censored and censored-a, thank you very much." He frowned, as he believed that Roy was acting even more vulgarly at present than he usually did, and if that was true, that was bad, as Roy's normal manner was not much better. Actually, well, I'd better not say.
Sorry :-(.

Peach and Captain Falcon finally found the room where the cement hats were kept. They almost immediately managed to put them on.
It was only after a few minutes that Captain Falcon realised that something strange was going on. "Hey," he said. "Why are there hats made of cement in this room? Come to think of it, who on earth would keep hats in a wine cellar?"
Peach stroked her beard gently – Captain Falcon had a point. OKAY, I'M SORRY! (I don't know what made me write that sentence; ascribing a character features which he or she obviously doesn't have is a very bad idea when writing. Of course, I'm talking about the whole Captain Falcon having a point thing. But if what I said about Peach stroking her beard offended you, well, I don't apologise for that because I'm too tired now to remove the word 'not' from what I just typed.)
"Hmm," said Peach. "Maybe it doesn't exist because I like eating chocolate!"
"That wasn't the question!" said Captain Falcon, panicking. "Maybe the world came to an end two years ago and we don't really exist!"
"Or maybe these aren't cement hats!" said Peach. She looked at their hats, horrified. "EEK! These are newspaper hats! We must remove them now!"
Peach and Captain Falcon hastily removed their hats and ran off in search of genuine concrete hats (or cement if they had no other options).
Would they make it this time? (Yes.)

"Has anyone else noticed," said Popo, as the others once again tried to remove from his neck the leash that bound him to Nana, "that despite all of our conversation and other interesting exploits today, we haven't actually achieved anything?"
"Oh! Oh!" said Kirby. "I have! I have! Take that, you naughty imps! Oho!"
"WTF?" said Theau Thor, who had no idea what that meant, and he had written it. That was, of course, bad news indeed. Indeedly indeed, as a matter of fact, even though, unbeknownst to any of them, 'indeedly' was not a word.
"Yeah," said Popo, "well, then why don't we actually do something?"
"Popo," chastised Ness, "we were actually trying to escape this place only a few minutes ago. Surely that has to count for something?"
"Well, why did we stop doing it?" said Popo.
At this point, Nana woke up, and snarled like an extremely angry polar bear, distracting the others. She managed to rip off Young Link's hand before they could subdue her by means of tranquilizer dart.
"My hand…" said Young Link. "My precious hand…"
"What just happened?" said Popo. "I suddenly feel very afraid for all of us… is Nana going to kill us all?"
"Probably," said Ness. "Young Link, I think there's a heart container in Peach's room, and before you ask, I have no idea why. Go get it; it should help your hand recover. Kirby, give him the tomato."
"Never!" said Kirby, clutching a Maxim Tomato protectively. "MY TOMATO! MY LOVELY TOMATO!" He started crying, and inhaled Ness, because crying made Kirby rather hungry, and then inhaled Popo, because inhaling made Kirby rather hungry, and then inhaled Young Link, because inhaling multiple people made Kirby rather hungry, and then inhaled Nana, because Nana was a real pain.

Inside Kirby's mouth…
"So," said Ness. "What do we do now?"
"SEE? HE CHEATS!" said Nana, who had woken up (duh), pointing at Ness.
"Let's try tickling Kirby from the inside," suggested Young Link, "so that-"
"-so that he laughs, giving us the opportunity to escape!" said Ness, finishing Young Link's sentence for him.
"I hate it when you do that," said Young Link. "Why can't you, for once, let-"
"-let you finish your own sentences?" said Ness. "Not a bad idea; not a bad idea. Maybe I'll let you do that, someday. Meanwhile, we must escape Kirby!"
And the kids quickly started tickling as hard as they could. Would it have any effect? They wouldn't know for a while…

"That does it," said Samus. "Zelda, the next person who comes into the room is going to get a pummelling from your new missile launcher, you hear me?"
Zelda nodded in agreement. This was starting to sound as if it would be quite a lot of fun.
Donkey Kong walked into the room, humming to himself a bit. "La, la… just goin' for a walk… hum dee hum… not expecting anyone to kill me… especially if said people love me… ba dum dum doopa daidum, daidum…"
Zelda struggled with herself. Donkey Kong, she thought, oh why; why did it have to be you? She raised the missile launcher and aimed it at him, but she couldn't bring herself to pull the trigger, no matter how hard she tried.
"Come on, Zelda," said Samus. "Just shoot the stupid ape already."
"Someone Zelda knows called me stupid!" said DK. "My life is a wreck…" he started to weep uncontrollably. Zelda, who was still struggling with the missile launcher, also began to weep uncontrollably.
All this uncontrollable weeping was starting to annoy Samus. "That does it," she said, "I'm shooting him myself, Zelda. I'm sorry to deprive you of the pleasure of shooting Donkey Kong-"
Zelda screamed in anguish.
"-but if you keep on delaying and procrastinating the killing blow, he'll get away in time, and we can't let that happen, can we?"
Samus raised her arm cannon, activated the missile launcher, and aimed-
-but just as she fired, Zelda dived at the cannon, sending the missile astray. It missed Donkey Kong by the width of Peach's brain (that close - I know). DK quickly took advantage of the situation to walk out of the room.
"Zelda, Zelda, Zelda," said Samus. "Now who do we blow up? I know… I'll fire lots of MISSILES AT YOU, MY BEST FRIEND IN THIS FORSAKEN ROCK!"
Samus started giggling maniacally, and if Kirby hadn't entered the room, also giggling manically, Zelda would probably have been blown up about… I don't know, a hundred million times over?
As it was, both women spotted Kirby. "Quick, Zelda!" said Samus. "Blow him up!"
As Zelda was hesitating, Samus added further incentive. "He stole your royal toffees, Zelda!"
At this, Zelda made up her mind. "Nobody eats my royal toffees," she said, raising the missile launcher, "and gets away with it!" And she fired.
Missile after missile streamed into Kirby's face, sending him ricocheting all over the room. After Zelda had emptied a full clip into Kirby's face, the little pink puffball staggered to the nearest wastepaper bin and threw up. That is, he spat out Ness, the Ice Climbers and Young Link.
"You saved us!" said Nana to Zelda. "You see? Violence solves all the problems in the world!"
"I said that first," said Samus.
"Did not," said Nana.
"Did too," said Samus.
"Anyway," interrupted Young Link, "thank you so much, your Highness, and Samus, for saving our-"
"-lives; we really appreciate it," said Ness, once again reading Young Link's thoughts.
"Stop it!" said Young Link, throwing a bowling ball at Ness, who dived out of the way just in time.
"SEE?" said Nana. "HE CHEATS! THE PRE-ADOLESCENT CHILD FROM ONETT CHEATS! CHEATING, CHEATING CHEATER! I SHALL CHEAT HIM; OH YES I WILL! AND WHEN I DO, HE'LL WISH THAT HE NEVER EVER CHEATED, EVER! THAT CHEATING CHEATER!"
"I do not cheat," said Ness, "and please stop talking in capitals. It's annoying."
…the point being that in the end, everyone was satisfied, with the possible exception of Kirby, who then had to undergo extensive care from Mario, who was a doctor – the extensive care might have taken about ten minutes for the entire treatment to take full effect, which is a good sign of how bad Kirby's injuries were. As for how Marth got sidetracked…?

Marth sniggered as he watched what Bowser did when he thought that nobody was watching. (Playing with toy cars.)

"Pich kichu…" "Are you sure telling him is smart?..."
"Jig iggle pig ulg!" "Hey, it was your idea!"
"Stop it!" raged Mewtwo. "I'm sick of this! The suspense is killing me!"
Jigglypuff and Pikachu gave each other a high-five. "Pika pik chik chu!" "We did it, Jig, we did it!"
"Jigglypuff!" "Yayayayayay!"
They danced around a bit. Mewtwo suddenly caught on.
"Wait a minute…" he said. "Were you two trying to kill me with suspense?"
Jigglypuff and Pikachu nodded. Pikachu explained, "Pika ik chi uakip ai piakucha ik!" "And we succeeded too – you said so yourself!"
Mewtwo didn't have the heart to tell them that it was a figure of speech. This was because Mewtwo was such an evil Pokemon that he didn't have a heart.