-1Disclaimer: I own none of this! If JK knew what I was doing to her poor little characters, nobody would be allowed to write HP fics on ever again.

Chapter Disclaimer: I'm always disappointed in the way most people write Hermione. She is rarely given the amount of plottage she deserves, and when she is a main character, she only has two different ways of being written. #1: She's a brainless, lovestruck fool, lusting after Harry/Draco/Ron/Sirius/Snape/Lupin. #2... Oh wait, I forgot. There is no #2! She's never the brainy, self-empowered witch JKR writes her as! She's either an accessory to the sidekick, not appearing except in a few scenes… Or she's a fucking slut! It pisses me off! Hermione doesn't care about flowers and money. She cares about making things right in the world. She cares about house elves and making the world a better place. Instead, every character from Voldemort on down is sweet talking their way into her panties. It makes me sick! People don't seem to believe that there should be any intelligent, ambitious women in the world. The second an intelligent woman appears in public view, she's beaten down for something else that people don't like about her. Here are some examples. Janet Reno: Yeah, all right. So she looks like a man. WHO FUCKING CARES! She was smart, she had a strong will… But she faded out of the public view because of something she couldn't control. Hillary Clinton: Yeah, she's a bitch. So? That's a personality problem. That can change. And who wouldn't be bitchy after spending years with Bill? He changes sex partners more often than he changes his underwear. But Hillary is still smart as hell. The world doesn't seem to want any smart women. It's like we're still living in the dark ages.

A/n: This chapter is about Hermione, exactly as she should be. In my mind anyway.

Behind the Scenes

Chapter Three: Hermione

Hermione sprayed a mouthful of mouthwash into the sink, before pouring herself a bit more and swishing it about in her mouth.

'Thank goodness for weekends.' Hermione thought happily.

Since Hermione is rarely depicted as anything more than a supporting character who appears in three scenes per fic, she generally had weekends off. Unlike those other poor bastards who left the set long enough to take a nap before having to get back on again.

'God… Poor Harry.' she thought. Hermione spit out the second swish of mouthwash.

"Finally… I thought that taste would never come out. Fucking fan girls." Hermione dug at her asshole. It hurt like hell at the moment. She'd just finished a scene with Professor Snape. Unfortunately enough for her, Snape was hung like a moose. Hermione was fed up with the Fangirls, but didn't really have the skill to stand up to their almighty power. She'd heard what they did to Voldemort.

After being used as nothing more than a sex object for years, her asshole didn't even shut properly any more. It had stretched to the point where it always was slightly open. The rumor she'd last heard going around the set was that her vagina was so loose it slapped against her thighs as she walked.

After standing in front of the mirror for a few more minutes, she decided she still felt dirty and climbed back into the shower.

"I don't care what those smut obsessed fan girls write, if anyone ever tries a circle jrk again, I'm gonna RIP IT OFF!" Hermione growled in the shower.

She scrubbed at herself with no less than three different soaps.. She'd just gotten the last of the suds off of herself and was reveling in the bliss that was hot water when she heard someone knocking at the door.

"HERMIONE! HURRY UP! WE'LL BE LATE!" Tonks yelled from outside.

"COMING!" Hermione called.

"THAT'S WHAT I'M AFRAID OF!" Tonks quipped. Hermione vowed to get her back for that later.

Hermione climbed out of the shower and toweled off. She opened the door, still dripping with her towel wrapped around her otherwise nude body.

"What a pleasant surprise." Tonks said with a smirk. She was wearing an all cotton t-shirt that was white with a rainbow pattern on it (that would have fit comfortably, if it hadn't shrunk in the wash) and a pair of faded, but slightly ripped jeans, and hemp sandals. It was painfully obvious that she was going without a bra. Currently, her hair was long, silky and brown.

"I could say the same." Hermione replied, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. "I need to get dressed really quick. Muggle protests are so much fun, aren't they?"

"Yeah, they are." Tonks replied. She seemed a bit put out that the kiss was that short, but was comforted by the fact that she got to watch Hermione change.

"Do you have the signs?" Hermione asked.

"They're shrunk and in the basket of my bike." Tonks replied.

"Awesome." Hermione dropped the towel with absolutely no inhibition and went over to her closet. She rummaged for a few moment, when she heard a moan from behind her. Hermione turned and saw that Tonks had pulled her jeans down to her knees and was fingering herself with one hand, while the other massaged her breasts through her T-shirt.

"Need a hand?" Hermione smirked.

"Ohhhh yeah…" Tonks rasped out.

Hermione smiled and walked over to Tonks. She grabbed Tonks's wrist and moved her hand away from her pussy. Then Hermione did what she did best: she got down onto her knees and started giving head.

"I-I hope we're not late to the g..gay pride protest…" Tonks moaned. From the tone of her voice, she didn't sound like she really cared that much at the moment.

"Wow, Hermione. Those fan girls really did turn you into a slut." Hermione smiled, and kept her head down where it belonged.

End of Chapter!

A/n: Before you flame, I'd like to mention that the way I see Hermione, is I see a smart girl who does whatever makes her happy, and makes the world a better place without giving two shits about what everyone else thinks. I know this chapter wasn't as funny as the others but I'll make it up to you guys somehow. Maybe Next chapter will be a double chapter?

XD Maybe not. Read, review, wait and see.