I open my eyes

by Seraphine Rose

Sometimes when your about to lose something very precious, you have to open your eyes to understand. I'm not very good at summarizing, its DS and JT rated for suicide and general angst. WIP

4. For All Those Times

A/N Thank you reviewers! I've had wonderful feedback and will be continuing the story (obviously) until I either lose inspiration and get bored or you all stop liking it. I still don't think its all that good but popular opinion over rules me. I would thank all of you personally but you know who you are (and I know I personally hate shifting through long authors notes just to get to the story) and I would like to say that your encouragement is keeping me writing, so keep reviewing and, of course, reading! 454 hits people and 21 reviews! Keep it up! I got 9 reviews for last chapter lets go for ten for this one! I think their the only reason I'm still writing o.O ANYWAY! Read and Review guys And Enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom(nickelodeon) or the song "Because you Loved me"(Celine Dion) So please don't sue me.

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life

Forever, what did that world in the larger picture of life? People said forever as though such a thing could ever exist; even marriage vows spoke of death, 'til death do you part', even love knew the true expanse of 'forever' lasted only a miniscule moment. Yet, as the phantom approached Amity Park, the concept of forever and the constancy of life never felt more ridiculous. What was forever? Innocence? The dependability of a life long friendship? The love of a parent? Once upon a time, the young ghost was foolish enough to believe in forever but it seemed impossible to do so now, to trust that nothing could or would change when in only a month everything Danny was once so sure of had collapsed.

When did things become so slipshod? Overnight the world turned upside down and all any of them could do was grip the floor and hold on for the ride not sure if it would ever settle back into normalcy. Danny knew the world could not return to how it was; the events that transpired changed every one of them in an irreversible manner, letting the strength each of them hid away shine for the first time and brought to light for the first time the souls behind the masks. Once the need to cloak a pain, hide a scar seemed a dramatic act designed for movie screens but now it seemed all to real, all to dangerous. Pain was the sister of love, knowing no bounds or situations, destroying everything you thought you were and leaving an unknown replacement in its wake. Sighing, the young halfa let his defense down and formed back into the once again weak human boy; nothing was forever except for the certainty of an end.

Winter had brought Jack Frosts cool breath and as November gave into the final month thoughts of holly and colorful lights filled the hearts and minds of the residents of the small town. Already their twinkling lights could be seen in the distance, the laughter of families warm and safe in the security of a better tomorrow and a happy time coming as they joyously trimmed the tree. A soft smile graced Danny's face as he remembered the trio's first Christmas, celebrated in the crazy Fenton house, and how trimming the tree resulted in the most hilarious photograph, now hanging proudly framed on the wall beside the young man's bed. Jazz had taken it and still swore to this day no image would ever stand out in her mind like the one of that Christmas eve; by some stupid accident and a lot of struggling, Sam had ended up tied to Danny with a long set of brightly colored twinkle lights wound all the way up to their head while Tucker's head stuck between their legs, tinsel pooled like blue hair around his face. None of the four could ever really remember how that position had come to be but every Christmas Eve they still delighted in pouring over the old picture, laughing and grinning about the stupidity of youth. This year though, there would most likely be an Eve of black rather then rainbows, Sam's time was running out fast and it would be a long time before he could even glance at the worn out photo. Things had to change eventually, Danny knew that, he just wished it had been gentler then the way fate had chosen.

A soft breeze blew across the barren landscape, dusting the snow from a lump centered at the edge of the path, the memory of an end and a beginning for four different souls. It had been a year since lightning struck down the wild oak that a girl once fell from and where one small boy discovered his first friends. Even the memory of their union wasn't ever lasting, it wasn't truly their friendship but each of them had felt the dull ache the loss caused in them; something of the tree had been a reminder of what they were, the strength of its limbs the strength of their bonds. It seemed wrong that it should fall.

Dusting off the lower part with a frozen hand, Danny kneeled to study the molding, peeling bark of the dead stump, fingers running over an engraving just above the largest root. The idea had been Sam's, a way to preserve the memories their fallen friend held, even in its death; Tucker had mentioned that perhaps someday others would carve their initials into the old wood beside theirs. A soft chuckle escaped him, the air a puff of steam around his lips. For what had to be the first time, Tucker had been right; carved beside the original were copies of another group, three others who saw in the tree what they did. A solidification of something that could not possibly last, someday they would come back to the old stump and let the memories rush back the way they did to Danny now.

Echoes danced around him like ghosts, teasing and taunting the senses of an already worn out man. For a moment the old oak towered over him again, soft laughter floated down from the leafy bows, legs rocked over the edge and bright eyes smiled down at him. Three kids hid in the very bowels of the jungle gym, noses poking out to watch the movements of the seeker, screaming rapturously as they flew out of their hiding place, the swift red head at their heels, fading away into snow and wind as they passed. Nothing more then a few ghosts. Danny swore he could see her on the swings, staring up at the night sky with a gaze of utmost concentration, unaware she held an audience aside from the soft breeze and boundless skies. The words carried on winters breath, ringing from a place far off in his mind

'We're nothing more then stars, beautiful and Sad without a soul in the world to miss us when we fall' Something in that had stuck him then that there was more to his morbid friend then appearances led one to believe. That had been two months ago, the day he had seen her for the first time without make up, without the walls and masks protecting her from the world. It was the first time Danny had seen Sammy, mystical in the way she held herself with moonlight in her hair and stars in her eyes; the image stood out more in his mind then any other. That day Sam really let her hair down and it should have been the moment Danny noticed the pain in her gaze, the grim resignation in her eyes.

Life, he decided, wasn't like in the movies where the hero always won, beat the odds to bring in a new dawn, win the girl, and live happily ever after, at least not for the hero in this story. Shit happened, things changed, the world had becoming a tougher place to navigate then carefree childhood, but that was no excuse. Holding her against him, facing the wrath of his best friend, listening to a second hand telling of his sisters pain, it hit him that they were falling apart long before Sam decided to end her life. No matter the odds, the one thing Danny should have been able to count on was them, even when they knew his destiny, his purpose in life and the dangers that came with that destiny they stood beside him without question. It was always the three of them, the musketeers, and occasionally the four of them, fighting and winning a war against a world that did not understand. The held each other up, endless support from all sides, righting the worlds wrongs and never letting one of their number give up…they were best friends no matter the odds. Somewhere along the lines, they had forgotten that.

"Young man, I believe you have lost something…it looks valuable" It took Danny a moment for the soft, breeze like tone to register in his mind, a much more pressing matter flowing in a soft blue puff from his parted lips. "As valuable as a memory"

Turning around, ocean blue eyes met a calculating emerald and a pale gloved hand offering a crumpled photo, the rumpled edge creaking silently in the breeze. Studying it as well as the woman suspiciously, the ghost boy could only slowly shake his head.

"Not mine, I don't have any pictures on me" A secretive smile on the woman's lips set Danny on edge wondering who this odd woman was, no one like her had ever been seen in Amity before. Angel fine white hair tied back in a black elastic hair band, torso clothed in black contrasting sharply with a think pair of ivory pants, none of her appearance quite as overwhelming as the daunting eyes. The emerald orbs contained no emotion, completely empty and bottomless as though the woman possessed no soul, it was chilling.

"But you did not even see the image Mr. Fenton, how could you possibly know whether it belongs to you? You may not have it in hand child, but some treasures can never be left behind …though you seem set on doing so."

"How…How do you know my name" the woman stepped forward until her hand could cup the old photograph gently in his palms, closing his fingers around it before stepping back and observing him quietly.

"Do not forget Daniel, live not a life of reminiscence but neither one of forgetting…memories are meant to be held close, painful or pleasurable, so even when the people of those memories no longer are within reach, their hearts are but a thought away." Feeling as though the ground was beginning to spin, Danny gazed in horror and awe at the old photo in his hand, unable to understand where this woman gained the knowledge obviously present. Running a finger over the images of the picture he whispered

"I don't understand….how did you get this, who-" the woman was gone without more then a whisper of wind, it was as though the breeze has swept her away like fine powder. "-are you?" Had Danny imagined her? Looking down at the photo he smiled; it did not matter from where she came or what name she came with, she had been right. Maybe people and things didn't last, but memories lasted forever

For all the wrongs that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you

"Where's Danny?" it seemed a valid question coming from someone who knew the boy had barley left his post to bathe and alleviate himself, yet remained strangely absent from the room, the bathroom, and anywhere in a ten foot vicinity of the young Goth's bed. Instead, a contemplative young man, chocolate eyes closed in a light napping stance, kept watch over the pale girl or rather provided support to her without actually opening and eye to do so. Jazz couldn't blame him, babysitting a lifeless doll was dull work no matter the amount of love given to said entity. Depression was only bound to come following the realization that nothing would change in the condition and no amount of hoping or encouragement could alter that state.

In her hands, Jazz held (in her opinion) the secret to life and cheer even in the darkest hour; two steaming mugs of coco, marshmallows dancing around the creamy surface, awaited a conversation to ease the grief on the coldest and dreariest night of the year. Taking a seat diagonal to the young man, the redhead studied his face in the brief time it remained still and could not suppress a bleak sigh. Sleep deprivation and stress took its toll on the smooth face; drooping bags hung beneath closed eyes and dips where once nourishment grew had sunk into hollows. Food had seemed to be the last thing anyone wanted though starvation couldn't bring the sick girl back.

"Duty called, hell if I know where he went" opening a dimming eye, a small smile lit up his face "I smell coco…please tell me that mug is for me?"

"No I'm going to drink both of them while I watch you freeze" she replied dryly, sitting the old ceramic cup on the side table, lifting her own to her lips and inhaling the warm steam. As a little girl, when a stormed tore the sky apart or the monsters crept from their dark corners to haunt her, her mom made coco to warm up the cold chill she says was caused by fear and all the low emotions. It was a belief carried in the girl even now. Coco could heal momentary fear, ease a prolonged sadness, it was the temporary cure to the ultimate problem though that only came from the soft tones shared over it. Taking a sip from his own cup, Jazz watched her friend lean back, eying a fresh bandage on her right fore arm, accusations and worry written all over his countenance. The lead weight of guilt dropped heavily into her stomach, the knowledge that he at least was owed an explanation though there was not much of one to give. The night had hurt, bringing back a pain that sucked the air from her lungs like a vacuum, the crushing weight of it thudding sickeningly in her torso. It had been like watching herself from another world, with little control over her body as she took up the blade in a blind terror, slashing in quick bursts until the attack drained out of her and Jazzs' body eased itself into a fitful sleep. There had been nothing logical or premeditated about it, merely relief from a blind panic and a painful ache. Warmth encased her trembling hand, fearful aqua seas meeting the warmth and concern of earthy brown; it seemed necessary for physical contact to be made between them, neither could ever really put into words why, they just needed it.

"Come here" the familiar phrase had Jazz settling herself in the young man's tender embrace a position neither opposed and though the fiery girl believed herself to heavy a weight to sit on the young man's knees, Tucker denied any thing of the like, saying she was actually far to light for his tastes. It was scary, at least to him, how light Jazz was in his arms, it was like holding a cloud and though she swore she ate three meals a day and then some, the boy worried. He knew better then to push a subject to hard, letting it come out on its own, but it was hard when there was a chance of losing her anywhere in the equation. As she settled in, coco in hand, the quiet young woman closed her eyes and listened to the steady beat of his heart, laying her head on his chest and feeling lulled by the worlds timeless lullaby, a baby's first.

"Now what's all this about, you told me yesterday everything was okay" sighing quietly she looked down into her coco, swirling the gooey liquid around the edge before taking a sip, sitting it on the table and forming an explanation that could be understood.

"From a psychologists point of view I suppose it could be called having a panic attack, or something of the like. It was irrational and sudden, I am not even sure why I did something so stupid, the fact I was bleeding didn't sink in until I woke up with a stain on my sheets and scabs on my arm this morning." Shaking her head quietly, Jazz slipped back easily into the sensible persona that fit her so well even knowing that it was a mask easily seen through by her male counterpart.

Masks were part of life, everyone came to terms with the phony personas and rolls society forced each person into. It was impossible to ever truly escape them because no matter who you are or who you pretend to be, the world expects that of you no matter the circumstance even if you set out to shock that becomes you mask. Jazz, a mask was as necessary as her homework or a made up face, except around the boy who held her so tenderly, stroked her hair absentmindedly, talked to her as though there were no things he would like better to do. A week had come to pass since his discovery, as they liked to call it, and the mood of the two teens and considerably up lifted. Knowing that there was a shoulder to lean on when the tears could not stop flowing, an ear to listen when all the pain and worries needed to escape or else destroy, arms to wrap around in a hug when the world was crashing down and you couldn't go it alone any more.

"I don't want a psychologists view Jazz" he whispered gently, brushing a stray lock of fire from her occupied orbs; the tender tone broke her down in a way that it never failed to do. Never sure whether it was a good or bad thing, Jazz was well aware that Tucker had the knowledge that love broke nearly any barrier she put up. What scared her was how easily she could fall for the tone and the beautiful soul behind it. Something like that could never happen, the thought of being out of control with something so simple as love went far beyond her concept; she would never fall in love, and wasn't even sure that was something she wanted. "What did it feel like to you, it's you that's important here Jazzy, not the psychologists, you."

"I…I guess…I don't know" her trembling was eased by a soothing hand on her back, rubbing up and down to wash the fear out and show that this didn't have to be suffered alone even if she never said another word about it. "It felt like drowning, unable to draw a breath, something crushing me….the feeling was so powerful, it hurt…it hurt and all I wanted was it to stop, whatever it took just to make it stop. It was as if someone pressed fast-forward on my memories, playing every screw up, every cruelty, ever pain back in surround sound. It was like being stuck in a tilt a whirl of horror….all I could think about was the knife and how good it would feel…I didn't realize it until I woke up and by then….by then I was so ashamed I didn't want to tell you, scared that you would think all the talking was a waste…that I was a waste." Tucker didn't interrupt though he itched to do so, she needed to talk now and he was more then willing to lend the ear given to him so many times in the past. Struggling to force the words out, Jazz held his hand tightly and listened to the steady, even heartbeats until her own ceased racing.

"I'm smart, I'm logical, I should be able to handle this…it was easy at first to dream away the pain, thinking of what could be for me made the loneliness all that much easier but then…then everything started falling apart. Mom and Dad fought more over stupid things, Danny was always out or locked up tight in his room, all the people at school labeled me a freak after my parents attacked one of my peers…suddenly all my dreams stood for were the pathetic musings of someone to weak to get up and keep going. A teenage girl with all the hopes in the world and none of the strength to back it up. Suddenly…" closing her eyes to a flood of tears, to the empty ache of loneliness, a filler and a hole in Jazz's have missing heart. "Suddenly my wishing for better turned to hate for not being better, it was my fault my parents ignored me, that Danny hated me, and that I didn't have a friend in the world. I tried to go to a teacher, I'm smart I knew something was wrong but they wouldn't listen…chocked it up to teenage hormones and straight A stress. It got worse and worse, like being trapped in a constantly playing movie, the images spinning in a blur and you know it should make sense, instill some emotion in you but it doesn't… The spinning got worse and worse until one day I nicked my thumb on a knife; watching the blood run down my skin made the unsettling whirl in my mind stop, eased the pressure on my heart…That was a year before Sam…." She trailed off quietly, hair sprawling out down Tuckers chest, face rising and falling with each breath he took and illuminating the silent tears drifting down her cheeks. Brushing them way tenderly, meticulous in making sure it didn't stain the beautiful face she hid behind layers of powders and cream, Tucker cupped her cheek and ran a thumb across the soft flesh watching as it flushed with pleasure at the simple gesture. Feeling the heat in her cheeks, Jazz let a hand rest on his cheek eyes locked with his in an emotion of shared intensity between them, the feelings explosion through her senses overwhelmingly terrifying but the turbulent girl found herself unable to draw her gaze away despite it.

"Doing it alone nearly lost you Jazz; it took away your dreams and nearly destroyed everything you had left, pretending everything was okay only made the destruction worse." Warm brown eyes overflowed with a gentle, yet powerful sensation that needed no word to convey a message; the warmth of her delicate fingers on his skin sent shivers up and down him and a pleasantly warm sensation in his chest. Some how, someway something had to give…neither realized that at the time however. The beautiful redhead managed at last to draw her eyes away from him only to feel her face turned gently back

"Look at me Jazz," he whispered, "None of it was your fault, not the pain, not the loneliness, not the judgment of idiots to blind to see what a beautiful woman you are. There is no one in this entire world more amazing then you, holding up for how long feeling the way you did? Supporting the world without anyone to support you, being the assuror without having any assurance of your own…you followed your heart every time and had more then enough strength in you to follow through even though you suffered. You earned the respect of your teachers by never giving in to something, by working until you collapsed to be the very best you could for nobody's benefit but your own, standing up for the bullies even when you knew they would be back the next day with a new torment… Jazz if you could see everything I see in you there would be no reason to cut, but I know you don't and for now that is okay. Someday you will and I promise to be there until that day comes and afterwards for as long as you will have me." Another tear slid down her cheek, warm and gentle only to be wiped tenderly away as he face was moved only inches from his; the urge to close the gap between them raged through Tuckers blood but he controlled herself, waiting for her to make whatever move she could. This was her ball, her emotions, her control and he was willing to wait to be with her no matter how much waiting killed him.

"Tucker…" she whispered hoarsely, a quiet sob escaping her as she broke the romantic situation between them and burrowed her face in the soft skin of his neck, arm wrapped tight around his neck in an expression of fear at the idea of him ever leaving her. Chuckling softly, her adjusted his own person so as to return the embrace, arms holding her waist in a gentle, affectionate hug that made her sobs turn quiet.

"Just remember Jazzy, to me you will always be beautiful, and I will always care about you…I know I can be a bit stupid sometimes" at this he gave a wry grin and flicked her ear playfully, earning a smack in the head and soft laughter. "But I promise that so long as I can still breath, and maybe even if I can't considering Danny's job, you will never be alone and will never have to deal with this by yourself." Bringing her hand to his lips, Tucker satisfied his raging hormones with the feel of her soft palm against his warm, slightly chapped lips, the action bringing a furious blush to the redhead's cheek.

"What did I do to deserve you?" Jazz asked quietly, removing her ceramic mug from the table and taking a sip off her, surprisingly, warm coco, looked out the window to take in the frigid beauty while wrapped up in tender warmth

"Perhaps pissed someone off in a past life?" he replied jokingly, wrapping and arm around her shoulder and putting his feet up on what was previously her chair. Laughing quietly, Jazz tucked her head under her chin and watched the lightly falling snow all the while playing with Tuckers hand, moving the fingers and intertwining hers with them alternatively, smiling secretively at the soft feeling in her heart. They stayed in that position for a long time, not noticing a bleary pair of eyes gazing hazily at them in the shady hospital room.

I'll be forever thankful, Baby
You're the one who held me up
And never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through
Through it all

"I have made my decision"

The words were spoken in barley a whisper, yet she could have yelled it and not have given the young goth girl more of a fright in that moment, huddled on the floor with a pale hand clutching tightly her bruising throat. Each syllable echoed through the graying the light, mist clouding thoughts and feelings with a heavy, lead like sensation; suddenly the feeling returned to her fingers, warmth burning the frigidness from deadened skin and it was a moment before Sam realized the warmth and light vanished to her because she was the light. Cuts, inch deep in flesh, began to heal, a halo like glow spilling from each until they sealed, a healthy color taking the pallid gray complexion away to present a beautiful young woman, though at the time Sam could only sense the fierce alteration and cared little, waiting expectantly for the decision to be spoken.

Expectation nearly always lead to the confusion of the unexpected; humans, as a species, premeditated every action and reaction to assure complete control, the promise of a pleasant outcome, playing God in an uninterfering way. Fear kept the fidgety race trapped in a hamster wheel, running from something that never existed because they knew no better then to hate the unknown Even when good happened instead of expected bad, the world was unwilling to except, for a larger part, that it was indeed good for the mere fact that Fate took its own course. Staring at the angelic glow surrounding her usually decaying, fading form, Sam could find no words to even question the phenomenon, afraid of what answer might come; would healing lead to hell, or did the woman believe she deserved a second chance? Bowing her head gracefully, Sam's eyes permanently locked onto the depthless emeralds in a sign of acceptance and unwillingness to yield no matter the consequence. Fire burned and the embers ceasing to live inside the young woman's heart sprung to life, taking vengeance on its mortality and giving life to the broken shelter encasing the dark girl.

From seemingly simply air sprung trees, young and fragile with the hope of a better tomorrow, beside them flowers released sweet fragrances and the colors of dark past forgotten, nourished by a trickling stream full of the same golden light radiating from every pore. The world left for dead began to replenish, the woman previously cloaked in shade donning a dress of emerald and smiling gently peacefully, the change in her most noticeable of all.

"Hope brings back what despair destroys, regrowing the life and vivaciousness that should never be left behind, not even when the grains of sand trickle to the very last particle." Without rustling even the smallest blade of green, the woman approached as though she neither walked nor flew, grounded and free in a way Sam believed she could never be. Nothing could be feared in this gentle entity, wisdom and understanding shining through previously ice cold stone; this creature was no demon but and angel who meant no harm to the. Touching the young woman's cheek lightly as though savoring, in a sad way, the life she could never live, the soft tones of many voices from many era's carried over Sam, it no longer felt intimidating but a reiteration of the past and of aged souls who passed through life long ago as she now did. There was nothing to fear in the past.

"This place is not what keeps you from him Samantha, and no longer am I. No mortal has ever dared risk their very existence by insulting me and been granted to ability to rectify a life interrupted by shade. You, my dear, are free in a way I could never capture, a phoenix heart beats deep with in you, fiery and passionate. My decision is made and it is final, " smiling quietly, the woman stepped back, a dark outline stark in the soft golden haze, hair concealing one deep emerald orb, hiding the darker side of a persona even the gods expected of her "and I decide to set you free and return you those who care so dearly for a fallen friend. Hold them close Ms Manson, not all growth can come to be alone and there will come a day when you to must lean on them. Love them with all the strength and passion I know you possess, never let go when one falls, never give up when it seems things can never be right but one thing above all. Believe in yourself Ms Manson, and believe in the people who would give their very lives for you, that trust, the hope will be the only strength to count on in the darkness. Never forget that." Words failed her, every easy response to simple, to thoughtless for someone who gave back everything that meant anything in her life. Thank you, it was simple but could not begin to convey the tears pooling behind closed eyelids, the energy coursing through her and relief overwhelming her. Life was hers again, and Sam would make the best of the time left to her.

"Those words will do just fine" Two fingers seared against her skin bringing back the agony of a body broken, aching with the forgotten life of a living corpse. Everything spun back into focus, the memories, touches, feelings, sensations that were almost forever lost but it could not overwhelm the need to part lid from lid in search of that caress, those lips, the sea blue eyes and million dollar smile. "Look to the future Samantha Manson and hold on tight, the road only gets bumpier from here…farewell and good luck. Do not waste this chance for you shall never receive another."

Darkness, light and wholesome in the way of it when one wakes from a gentle feeling dream, still lost in the lull between waking reality and dreaming fantasy, unsure of your certainty in either. The heavy blanket of a long sleep hung far more weighted the normal, senses dulled by the whirling sounds in the distance and buzzing quiet within your own mind. Hands far to heavy to reach, clutched silently at cloth sheets to simply feel for only the simple reason that feeling was still possible, drawing breath with the knowledge of nearly forgetting the sharp, clean feeling it gave. A fresh breath cleansed out the old, a new chance to take in the day and take a risk, plunging into unknown with half an idea of how to get there. Despite the fear that turned her blood cold, the hesitance to face the world again knowing what she had done, Sam would not change her fate for the world.

Lids lifted, heavy with sleep, and bleary, fogged over eyes attempted, rather painfully, to adjust to a light of far greater intensity then any projected in memories and visions. It took several moments to be able to gaze clearly around the room, every limb to sore and physical deadened to any sort of movement. Sadness immediately crashed upon her with the realization that the boy she had used in defense of her life, whose love she came back for, could be seen nowhere in the room.

Tears floated on the rounded edge of her eyes, held back by the thing barrier of lashes and skin; abandonment and betrayal cutting holes in her, stamping dead the small flame beginning to roar to life within her. He was gone, after promising never to leave her she woke to find him away, not caring enough to stay. Then again, why would he choose to remain with a filthy girl confined to a bed with an illness she brought upon by her own hand; hurt as it did, the truth was the truth and it needed to just be put aside. Trying not to cry another tear, Sam searched the room for something more fascinating, something to distract the painful thoughts making staying awake far harder then she wished it to be; without the will to do so she found her eyes drooping heavily. What she did find made her blink and try to rub it away, sure that her sleep bleary eyes were deceiving her; after several attempts to blink away the apparition, Sam decided with no small degree of shock and confusion that the image of a cuddling Jazz and Tucker were very much real. What the hell had been happening while she was out? With no way to physically express rage, all that could be done was mentally try to destroy the couple until it boiled down to a cool curiosity. Tucker held the petite redhead with a gentle tenderness, seemingly not noticing that a pair of slim finger were intertwined with his as the pair gazed silently at falling snow; they cuddled the way Danny and she had once… Danny….

'Perhaps he lied, does he still see me as nothing more then a sister? But he kissed me…did that mean something or was it just a relief 'caught in the moment' sort of kiss?' attempting to sort out all the feelings possible coursing through the young onyx haired man caused her head to throb and spin, the overload of her brain more then she was capable of handling in that moment. Without her a notice, a soft, crushed sigh freed itself from between her overly dry parted lips while lavender orbs stared morosely at an illuminated stucco ceiling, the color faker then Paulina's nose, a warm color that the Goth could only glare irately at. This crap was supposed to boost spirits? The off pink color only served to remind her of the pepto bismal containers, which in turn gave her stomach a nasty wake up call, the bile rising, tangy, in her throat. Unfortunately, the sigh did not go unnoticed by the pair who, though appearing wrapped up in each, focused intently on the senses reacting wildly to the close proximity of their body and the few patches of flesh touching each other, were actually quite clear headed. Heads jerking toward her, studying the girl in blatant disbelief, refusing to blink for fear it was a mirage coming to taunt them.

To Sam this went unnoticed, her mind still far to wrapped up in fears and wishes to noticed the two pairs of joy filled jewels taking in the sight of her awake and somewhat active. Even had she given care to look and see the excitement no remaining tatter would believe the truth, the love and relief radiating from every glance, every spreading smile. Dash could run butt naked into the room professing his love to Tucker in Latin and not a moment would register.

Why hadn't he come? Had she hurt him that badly, pushed his emotions to the point that he couldn't bare to be around her? Was this all her fault? Questions spun like a twister in her mind without form or direction, the possessor of the inquiry's having neither the spirit nor desire to stop herself from falling back into the dark hole. Sam fought for Danny, persuading the Angel of Death to return her to him and it seemed he did not care.

Life was all about loving and being loved, that without the companionship, respect and affection of another living creature you truly had little purpose existing. Lilith had not been gauging how well she begged but how much love she had waiting back on the mortal plane and how important that care held up in her heart. When everything boiled down at the end of life, as your standing in wait for judgment, you are thinking of your past and the fears ahead, of your memories and the loves you had throughout your time in the mortal realm. IT is that love, and the care with which you tended it, that decided your fate. Sam now knew her life had been stunted when she believed no one cared, it never struck her how destructive that single thought could be. Loneliness was a dangerous thing for it rarely traveled alone, bringing to light sorrow and blame, the emotions that caused what little hope you had to wither away. Moments ago, Sam thought she would be alright. Danny loved her, Tucker loved her, and life was beginning to come full circle once more, but suddenly it seemed the one who meant the most in her heart removed himself from the circle, tilting the healing process to the point of regression. It was ridiculously overdramatic, and the young woman knew as much but after everything she'd just been through it hurt like hell for the one person she'd counted on to be gone. It hurt worse then all the months of waiting and just like before, this seemed to be all her fault.

"Sam? Oh my god Sammy!" Sharply ripped from her musings, the young Goth found herself in the center of a group hug, the arms of sobbing, emotionally overjoyed teenagers squeezing the air from her lungs until she was surely beginning to turn an eerie shade of blue.

"Air..AIR!" she gasped, drawing in a relieved breath when they loosened their death grips a bit to allow a little oxygen to enter. The redhead wiped her eyes and cut off contact save for Sams' limp hand clutched tight, taking a seat on the bed instead and smiling brilliantly at her as though the sun had come an stopped the end of the world. It took a moment for the African American boy to find the strength to pull away, unwilling to let go of his life long best friend in fear of letting her fade away. Even after sitting beside Jazz, the young man felt the urge to touch Sam's arm or hair, making sure in his mind that everything was real, that this was not a dream. The trio found no words could pass between them, all three wanting to break the silence but have nothing substantial to say in the circumstances; it was at last Tucker who broke it.

"I really do love hospitals you know, lonely girls in open backed paper gowns, sometimes needing mouth to mouth…not quite as good as the beach but almost" It was a halfhearted attempt at humor; after all they had been through that month it seemed ridiculous to be so serious. It began with Sam, a soft chuckle turning into sidesplitting laughter that brought tears to her eyes and made her stomach ache with air deprivation and stitches of pure joy, she was sure, had been gone for to long. Jazz followed. After hitting Tucker upside the head she collapsed over Sam's knees, eyes shut tightly as liquid flowed from beneath them and her chest heaved with each blissful laugh. Pleased with himself Tucker stuck out his chest like a rooster, to which Jazz was all to gleeful in pointing out, and commenced doing the chicken dance about he room until he collapsed beside Jazz.

The three shared almost thirty minutes worth of jokes and laughter, none bringing up the darkness sure to come or the pain and concern, merely going back in time for a bit when pain and death were only the awful inventions of screen plays and comic books. Strength grew between them without ever sharing more then a communal laugh and cheerful smiles.

Sam found out that sometimes, that was all you needed.

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me

Christmas, supposedly the most giving and loving season of the year, a time where families could put aside petty squabbles just to be together, filling every home with love and expectation. No child could ever despise Christmas, the prospect of gifts stacked to the very top of the tree, making cookies to thank a great man in a huge red suit, and staring out the window on that mystical night in search of a tiny sleigh in the distance. Trimming the tree, though painstaking and at times irritating, ended with the most beautiful sight imaginable, shining and lovely with ornaments passed down through generations and stories for each, the memories of holidays past that brought back a lifetime of memories for parents wrapped in each other, enjoying the fire and the peace of the lightly falling snow outside. This was the ideal holiday season but for some it ceased to be magical, bringing back darker thoughts that overshadowed colored lights and holly bunches. For one boy, staring morosely out at the twinkling rooftops of the tiny town, the perfect greeting card photo in and of itself, Christmas could not be over fast enough.

Staring out at the tiny town of Amity from a hill outside the hospital doors, wrapped up tightly in a coat, sweater, gloves, and a scarf, trudged Tucker. The worst season of the year was beginning, worse even then Thanksgiving, this season was where, most of all, happiness reined and everyone enjoyed the short break from life given to spend with loved ones. Everyone but him.

Spending Christmas at home was rare now, on occasion his family attempted to coerce a loving day but it always fell flat, the smell of beer and echoes of shouts punctuating the faraway chorals of 'Oh Holy Night' with screams and curses that seemed endless. More often then naught, the day was spent at Danny's but even among friends, the people who had become, over the years, closer then his family ever was, nothing could improve his feelings toward the holiday. There never was a Santa Clause or evening spent baking gingerbread cookies and telling old tales of Christmas' past, just screams or lonely silences, sometimes the sounds of crashing and the old stale smell of vomit and wine. Gifts consisted of socks or some little trinket thrown into a box at the last minute, cheap and usually broken by the time the day to open it came around. Nine years of Christmas's spent in lonely tears could not be erased by the few good delights he now had memory of.

This year would be the worst of all. Strong as he seemed to be for everyone, Jazz above all, Tucker had his own sufferings deep within, hidden behind years of good memories that could put up a front of simple worries, easily fixable problems. Not even she knew about this, no one did. Every Christmas spent with the Fenton's and Sam was happy, Tuckers lack of true enthusiasm for trimming trees and writing to 'Santa' going unnoticed because of the others overwhelming excitement. Sure he went along with it, smiled and laughed, hung ornaments and snickered at the couples stuck under mistletoe, but he never felt the warmth they did, always felt on the outside of a true family that he could never be part of. That scared him the most, that some how he was easily disposable to them. So far they had yet to forget to invite him but this year, the young man knew things would be different and that it would most likely be only family (and girlfriend) welcome to the Fenton Feast on Christmas Eve. An evening spent alone wouldn't phase him, the room and home lacking festive garnishes and flashing bulbs would not truly depress him, but the sounds of caroling families and laughing children building snowmen alongside smiling parents would, and always did. Nothing his friends could do would ever make up for the lack of his own parents.

Mr. and Mrs. Foley never belonged together, they were married for convenience and business all of which collapsed when Tucker was born. A union brought together for the sake of money and health benefits did not needed the unnecessary inconvenience of a child, the only positive points they had ever really seen in him was his gender, meaning only that they had someone to carry on a name. When he was six, Tucker discovered painfully the alcoholic in his father when he was pushed down the stairs after unintentionally interrupting his fathers pity drinking; the young child had up until that point believe his parents really did love him, but that night his father let him in on the family secret. No one loved him. That had been Christmas Day and all Tucker had wanted to know was why Santa hadn't come

'There ain't no Damn Santa, and your mother and I aren't about to waste money and time on an accident like you.' Had been the words that came that night but it had been a few months later before the child understood what an accident meant. Since then, Tucker could never remember breaking down and allowing himself to cry, not until he nearly lost his, for all intent purposes, sister. It had taken almost sixteen years to truly have a family and the fear of losing them, especially because of a mistake and blindness on his part, was more then he could bear; it was his fault his parents didn't want him, even if he was an accident, and it was partly his fault they almost lost Sam. Even now, he was losing her and Danny, the trio suddenly a couple with a third wheel. At least he had Jazz but there was no guarantee their friendship would last once each person returned to their usual business. Christmas would be a lonely affair, but somehow Tucker didn't think it would be any different the most of his holiday's had been spent.

The holiday season just beat Thanksgiving as least favorite time of year; at least on Turkey day his parents used to make an effort even if it was more for publicity then anything. Up until a few years prior, they would invite the entire Foley family down to get drunk and laugh at each other, some of them would play with the small boy and for many years, it was the only time he felt happy at home. However when their business's were secure and they no longer needed to play house, the Foley family Thanksgivings ceased and it was often Tuckers parents didn't even come home. Both holidays were jokes to him, nothing truly precious or beautiful about them except perhaps December 26, the day after the hell was over.

Now it began all over again, and as Tucker approached the very edge of the huge hill, the drop off into a frozen river, he wished it was late so that he could watch each waste of electricity slowly but surely blink out of the otherwise beautiful sight. Perhaps it was jealously that made him hate the holiday, perhaps it was spite and bitterness over the past, but in his mind it was just that everything painful seemed to center around holidays where he was forced to watch everyone else have what he never did and, for many years, thought he never could. Even holidays spent with the Fenton's brought on some of the depression associated with Christmas. It often became to much and he spent the evening at the fireside, staring blankly into the flames and waiting for the 26th to come. True, no one in Danny's family got drunk and beat on the other, and no one dared express anger or hate, but the love was almost ostracizing, more then once even Sam had sat beside him watching with a longing Tucker had long since given up feeling. You could only dream for so long before you had to wake up.

Sometimes it was hard to hate the holiday when his first friends had been made only two weeks before the joyous event, a meeting that had most likely saved his future. Tucker knew all to well that his sanity would not have lasted long without them and it would have led him to suicide without anyone to stop him. Now he knew how horrible it was, but also knew that had his life continued in the same vein, no one would have even noticed him missing and that his funeral would have been cheap and unattended, if he had one at all. Money was his parents' world, why would they spend it just because their little 'accident' went and offed himself? Why should they care? Sometimes Tucker believed that should he pass away before them, the two would settle their difference for a day or so just to celebrate. Such a reaction would not surprise him.

Light footsteps trudged through the frozen tundra towards the cliff where the stone bench so familiar to him sat, away from prying eyes and open to only those people looking for him. Without turning around, Tucker knew instantly that only one person would brave the icy gale to reach him and after his darker thoughts, the knowledge of her concern made him smile. Someone in the world cared and for now, that was enough.

"Your going to freeze out here, why aren't you inside with Sam and Danny?" He asked her quietly, feeling her presence beside him, a pair of gloved fingers finding his easily and intertwining them in a gesture of comfort. Even without saying a word, she knew something bothered him.

"They kicked me out about twenty minutes ago…or rather I didn't want to be around to see the explosion, but a better question is why you are out here. Your right, its freezing and your lips are starting to turn blue, yet here you sit on a frozen bench staring into the wind and snow with barley a fall jacket on." Tucker felt horrible at having worried her, but what could he tell her? That he was angry and scared, that he wanted to skip a head to January 1st and be rid of the holidays all together? Did it even matter? Something was forced into his hand and upon looking down, the young man could not help but laugh. Coco. He had been drinking so much coco these past two weeks he was surprised he wasn't made of it by now.

"Thanks, but you know I'm going to turn into hot coco at the rate your giving it to me" he joked, taking a sip and sighing pleasurably as the warm sweet liquid gave life back to his frozen lips. A pair of aquamarine eyes focused intently on him, worry lines creasing their owners' brow as a hand squeezed the boys, leading weighted chocolate orbs to meet the sea colored ones.

"What? What are you looking at me for?" Seeming to be searching for words, Jazz hung her head, staring intently at the white snow.

"Once upon a time a little boy trusted a young girl with his heart, knowing full well she could crush it then and there." Tuckers eyebrows raised in surprise and curiosity, where was this going? "She didn't let him down then and seven years later she's asking for him to put his heart in her hands again. To trust her the way he once did and tell her why he is sitting on a freezing cold bench staring off into nothing with a look suggesting the world is coming to an end." A little thrown off by the direct approach he didn't even know Jazz could do, Tucker had a hard time dismissing the words he had more or less used to ask for her trust. Looking back out into the small Christmas village that was Amity, a soft sigh escaped him as a thousand different excuses, and explanations ran through his head, each more unbelievable then the last.

"I…just don't like this time of the year that's all" he said by way of explanation, taking a sip of coco and squeezing her hand gently, smiling affectionately at her the light of it not quite reaching his eyes. The worry didn't leave her face and he mimicked it, making her laugh suddenly at the screwed up face the young man made, unable to be serious when seeing the look of it.

"Really Jazzy I'm fine I just…couldn't think with all the noise you know? So I came out here" he felt awful lying to her but the truth was too much to talk about. Not even Sammy and Danny knew about his family, neither of them having ever met the Foleys and he prayed the situation never came up that they needed to. It was the boogeyman in a closet full of skeletons, one he wanted locked up an hidden for fear of what it would do if he let it out.

"Understandable, for a hospital it sure is noisy," she agreed, and Tucker smiled with the thought that she had dropped the topic of his insane behavior. "Why do you not like this time of the year? It's Christmas! It's the best time of the year, what's there not to like?"

"I just don't okay!" he snapped, guilty when he saw her turn her face away timidly. All she had been trying to do was help; damn having a conscious was a pain in the ass. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap I just…I don't want to talk about it alright?" Jazz nodded in response and remained quiet, staring at the mug of coco in her hand unblinkingly as though trying to understand it. Taking a sip from the cooling mug in his own hand, the young man let his eyelids slid close in desire to wash away the bad memories brought back by the season. It was hard not telling her, he cared so much for her, but he wanted to protect her and to play the part of savior to the distressed damsel. He wanted to be the man he never saw his father be, no matter how what the cost.

"Thanks" He said suddenly, the word drawing the woman's' gaze from her cup to stare curiously at him, something about this suddenness a familiar in her past.

"For what?" she answered as always, unsure as to what to expect of the moody teenager. Tucker leaned back on the bench and looked up, a secretive smile thin and content on his lips.

"For everything." Jazz smiled gently and squeezed his hand before joining him in looking up at the perfect night.

Lifted me up when I couldn't see
You gave me faith cause you believed
I'm everything I am because you loved me

Flashback: Tucker, age nine. Day: December 24th

The screaming permeated the thin walls of the plain bedroom, echoing around as though each of the bare walls was an amplifier, making it louder and louder as it continued to come through the paper-thin plaster. Snow fell outside the window and from between the flakes, a small boy huddled in the corner of his room cried silently, afraid of attracting the attention of the drunk adults in the next room. According to the bolstering man, real men did not cry. The small boy did not want another scar to remember another teaching of that lesson, nor did he want the crashes and screaming to be directed toward him.

That evening was Christmas Eve but in the Foley household it was the beginning of world war three as the disaster of another attempted family Christmas taking its toll on the alcoholic fathers patience. It had begun simply enough, with the accidental burning of the Turkey and the yelling match the sprung from the ashes. The repercussions of his mothers inattention roared in the next room. The next morning they would both be gone if they didn't get plastered and pass out again, something Tucker hated because he had to pick up broken beer bottles and shattered fragments of a pretend life, usually cutting himself on the shards. Most mothers would have a comforting word or a hug to make the pain ease, but all his mother had was a glare and a 'Why are you bothering me?'.

Flesh smacked flesh with a sickening thud and Tucker knew his mother would leave the next day with bruises and his father would for sure be plastered, passed out under the kitchen table with a beer spilled all down his chest. It was almost the same every year no matter how hard they tried it never changed. They never changed. A painful scream followed a crash and the echo's of "Don't touch me you Bastard!" and "You worthless little Bitch!" spun around in his head until the house fell eerily quiet, never a good sign. Pulling a large quilt up to his chin, the boy waited breathlessly for the sound of movement, talking, cursing, anything…terror turned his blood to ice. Had it finally happened, had his father finally killed his mother? Tucker had been waiting years for one or the other to die knowing with their violent tendencies it was more then likely.

Footsteps thudded, heavy with anger and struggling with a drunkenness that made the boy try to disappear beneath his quilt.

'please don't stop, please don't stop' came the silent prayer as the steps approached, loud as thunder in the dead silent house, the weight causing the floor boards to groan in agony at the sheer weight being forced upon it. As though to spite the small boy's silent plea the footsteps halted at his door and Tucker sucked in a terrified breath thinking maybe if he made no sound they would continue and pass him by. No such luck. The door was thrown open and off its hinges by the sheer force of the drunken man's strength and a bear of a man wearing a stained white tee shirt and baggy sweatpants stumbled in, tiny eyes glaring around in drunken anger searching for an outlet for his rage.

"Damnit boy, get the fuck out here now!" he roared and though every fiber of his body shook with fear, Tucker bravely stood and smiled meekly, quavering under the violent look in his fathers eyes and the dark circle showing where his mother had struck back. Silently he celebrated at someone having stood up to the bear even if they fell in the end, but none of the joy showed on his face for fear of infuriating the man more the he already was.

The first blow came to his stomach, knocking the wind out of his lungs and bringing Tucker to his knees where it was easier to receive a well place kick in the face. Trying desperately to convince himself that the man wasn't aware that he was hurting his only son, Tucker curled over in a fetal position and waited for the abuse to end, for his father to either pass out or decide he needed another drink. A coppery, tangy taste filled his mouth as he accidentally bit his tongue, trying to block out the curses coming with each blow to his torso and legs.

"You worthless piece of shit, this is all your fault! IF you'd never been born your mother wouldn't be so damn uppity about having this fucking family thing; you were the biggest mistake we ever made we should have had you aborted when we got the chance. Don't cry you little fuck up, Real. Man. Don't. Cry." The man punctuated each word with a particularly brutal kick to the stomach as the boy quickly held back his tears, relieved when the magic words finally floated over him.

"Damn, I need a drink." With that, the man stumbled out and down the stairs leaving his son to cry quietly in a heap at the foot of his bed. At last, when the pain eased a bit, the young child pulled himself up trying not to wince at the various black an blue patches covering his body most particularly his stomach which was entirely discolored. Snoring resonated from downstairs ensuring that the man had finally had enough to drink, the single note snapped something in Tucker. He couldn't stay here anymore.

Donning a sweater, his coat and scarf, and his snow boots, Tucker snuck quietly out of the house with no more then the clothes on his back and an old stuffed animal kept safe from the weather by hiding in his pocket. The night was bitter, the temperature far below freezing and snow falling heavily onto his exposed head; the urge to return home started to creep on him so he ran for all he was worth, ignoring the pain shooting up through him at the strain he exerted upon his battered body. Tucker ran without any real idea of where to go, lost in the new town without any idea of even how to return home but sure that wasn't the way to go; if his parents found out he'd run away it would mean more pain. So, with no other options left, the boy began to trudge through the fresh powder.

The wandering lasted an hour going no real direction with no real point. His fingers were numb and lips blue in front of chattering teeth, the coat and scarf doing little to keep out the icy gale and piercing cold. Perhaps he had left his hell of a home just to die anyway, if they hadn't beaten him to death he would surely freeze out here. Where could he go? No one in Amity really knew him except the three kids he met at the park, but they were not really friends just a handful of people who pitied the new kid. At least, that was what he thought.

A neon sign lit up the neighborhood he was approaching, the brightest thing for at least three miles, if not the entire town, the words 'Fenton' lit up in bright, flashing colors announcing to the world the owners of the oddly decorated building. It seemed these Fenton's loved Christmas; their house was the opposite of his, fully decked out in at least a thousand strings of twinkle light and six moving, lit characters in the front yard and on the roof. IT was beautiful and at the same time ridiculous.

'Those peoples' electricity bill must be through the roof.' Tucker thought, trying to place why the name sounded so familiar. Fenton…where had he heard it before and why did it seem like it should remind him of something good?

'….I'm Jasmine Fenton …' the memory of two weeks before rushed through him. Fenton, the pretty redhead girls name was Fenton, Jasmine Fenton. A small smile touched his bruised face as he recalled how he had been the first to help him, to protect him from the world of bullies he could never seem to escape. Curious about how she was faring, he stumbled to the low window, climbing on a few trashcans and peering into the perfect holiday scene. The family was huddled into the small living room, the two smallest…what were their names again? Oh yea, the two smallest, Sam and Danny, sat by the tree, Sam half asleep with her head resting on her best friends' shoulder while Danny listened intently as his father announced that it was story time. Jasmine sat by the fire wrapped up in a warm quilt, a fluffy white robe on over what looked like blue satin pajama's, totally absorbed in Mr. Fenton's rendition of 'The night Before Christmas". Although it was invasion of privacy, Tucker sat unmoving on the trashcan's listening to the tale and pretending he was sitting next to the redhead, warm and safe in the loving scene. AS the tale ended the bitter cold sunk into his flesh again and regretfully, the young boy jumped down, slipping and crying out in agony as he landed on his bruised knees. Reality came crashing down on him that he was all alone on Christmas Eve, unwanted at home with nowhere to go while every other child spent the evening beside warm fires with their family. Life really was not fair.

Taking a seat on the stone steps of their house to rest and block out the wind, Tucker tried to put snow on some of his bruises, a trick a health teacher had once taught her class during a lesson on the skin. It worked most of the time, but the one on his stomach just would not stop aching and soon it became to cold to continue and as exhaustion over came the boy, he curled up on the steps, half frozen. An hour went by in a blur and he woke up to find himself no longer cold but toasty and wrapped in a heavy blanket while lying on something considerably softer then a stone stair. Sitting up, the blanket slipping around his waist, he saw himself lost in the perfect Christmas scene. It was late but still laughter could be heard from the next room in what appeared, from his angle, to be the kitchen.

"Don't waste the dough kids! Don't' forget we need cookies to leave for Santa Claus!" A gentle voice chided, but it wasn't in earnest and a smile could be heard in her tone. Cookies. They were making cookies; sadly, the young boy wondered if he should stay, as he seemed to be intruding upon their Christmas Eve. Rising to his feet, Tucker quietly folded the quilt and left it on the sofa, looking around for some paper and a pen to write a polite thank you for housing him for a good hour or so. Jotting on the back of what looked like a coloring book page with a blue crayon, the young boy wrote in messy scrawl

"Thank you. Merry Christmas" and left it on the top of the blanket before tiptoeing out of the room in search of the door, unable to pass the kitchen door without pausing to look in curiosity at what was causing the laughter. Inside, the friends Sam and Danny tossed dough at each other while pressing gingerbread man molds into it and pulling out cute little figures; the boy looked amusing with dough stuck in his hair and flour on his nose and the girls usually black hair had aged about fifty years from all the flour lost in it. Suppressing a laugh, he watched for as long as he could before continuing, heart heavy and head swimming with thoughts. It didn't take long to find the door and his things hung up to dry beside it; standing on his toes, Tucker tried to reach his coat and scarf but found he was to short to unhook the former, the loop on the inside what held it up. Deciding it wasn't worth it, he pulled on his boots and twisted his scarf tight around his neck before opening the door.

"And where, my I ask, do you think your going young man?" a motherly voice said sternly from behind him. Whipping around in fear, he looked timidly a woman who looked like a much older Jasmine and determined it to be her mother; looking down at his feet, Tucker opened his mouth to say something but was afraid to say something wrong.

"Leaving. I folded you blanket for you, and I even left a note" he finally said lamely, wincing when her hand rested on his shoulder, directing him away from the door and toward the kitchen stopping him in front of the coat rack and carefully removing his boots and scarf, putting them back where he'd gotten them. The woman kneeled down to his level and smiled

"Thank you for folding my quilt Tucker, that was nice of you to do." She began quietly "But why were you laying on my doorstep in the first place?" Wincing again at what he presumed to be anger, the young boy shuffled his feet nervously and tried to think of something that wouldn't get him in trouble.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to, I was just cold and tired and…and I'm lost," he murmured, silently relieved he had managed to think of a halfway believable lie. The woman seemed to buy it but was far from done with her interrogation.

"I'm not angry sweetie, just concerned. Why aren't you home with your parents?" Fear made what the loving house previously warmed turn ice cold, his blood suddenly rushing through his veins rapidly. Tucker knew what telling would mean but he could not just remain quiet because that would give away the truth as much as words. If anyone knew he had run away….

"Their out of town on business" he said finally, trying to look as though he hadn't been able to remember exactly where they were. A sad looked crossed the woman's features, and she cocked her head in confusion

"And they left you home alone? On Christmas Eve?" Nodding furiously, Tucker was relieved the woman had bought it. Truthfully, the fable he had just told was a rather common occurrence in his household so the lie had been easy to concoct. "Not even a grandparent to watch you open presents? That's such a-"

"Presents?" he asked confused, brow furrowed in such a way that it seemed to the woman that the boy was almost doubting her sanity "My parents never really get me anything their…" he paused "to busy. But I got a pair of new socks if that's what you mean" he said, showing her the plain black wool socks warming his feet at that moment. Frowning, the woman stood up and looked at the tree in the other room; forcing a smile, she took the boys hand, much to his confusion. She was about to say something when a red blur ran into him, clinging tightly to his person and talking a mile a minute

"…and we were all afraid you were dead!" she finished, gasping in air as she had not paused to breath during her seemingly endless monologue. Mrs. Fenton could only laugh and shake her head at the slightly awed look on Tuckers face; at least he seemed happy now, it bothered her though that he could have died without anyone noticing. Had Jazz not looked outside at the snow who knew what could have happened.

"SAMMY!" An indignant shout sounded from the kitchen "Put the flour on the counter not in my hair!"

"It's payback for putting it in my pajama top!" came screechy reply and the mother could only shake her head sadly. Looking around at the bemused looked, Tucker assumed this was a common occurrence between those two; meeting the eyes of the woman he reached up for his scarf and found his hand being immediately bated away by the redhead.

"Uh uh, your staying here" she said sternly and the mother confirmed this statement with a nod.

"I've already made up a guest bed in Danny's room, you'll be staying for as long as you like. I don't like the idea of you being home alone." She said with a gently look throwing Tucker for a loop. It was unusual that anyone was this kind to him and it made him take a step back, unsure of how to handle it.

"You…You don't have to do that Mrs.…Mrs. Fenton, I'll be fine" he stammered, not noticing the look passing between mother and daughter or hearing the quiet whisper of 'your scaring him mom!' coming from the smiling red head. Another scream, this time of amusement, a crash, and an 'opps' broke the silence causing the woman to sigh in frustration, but a small smile gave her away.

"Nonsense, what kind of person would I be if I turned you out into the cold? Now, why don't you help us bake cookies? I'm sure we'd all appreciate it if we had a pair who DIDN'T get cookie dough on the ceiling." Grinning, she entered the kitchen, leaving the two standing in the hallway completely silent until Jasmine grabbed his hand and gently pulled him toward the living room, seating him at the fire before grabbing her quilt and draping it over the both of them.

"Thank you" Tucker whispered, drawing his eyes away form the firelight to enjoy an entirely different form of flame. A pair of aqua eyes met his confused.

"For what?" she asked sweetly, still holding his hand as the sound of crashing and laughter echoed behind them.

"For everything"

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand, I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, You gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach

Why did things always go wrong at the worst possible moment? Murphy's Law wavered even when the results of the simplest mistake could turn into a matter of life or death; it seemed nothing could convince fate to ease its hard hand for a moment. People never seemed to follow a set path, which most likely caused the Theory to be correct 99 percent of the time; timing meant nothing to an elderly woman, or a baby, or even a young woman lying unconscious in a bed who decided to wake up just as a certain young halfa male approached the hospital. Even if it was the young woman's bad timing and a ghosts' sick idea of a joke, the young man knew the moment he entered the shady room he was in huge trouble.

Some men said women were impossible to understand but in fact, certain things about them were indeed quite simple to interpret, or rather necessary to survive a woman's mood swings, which, Danny was beginning to find out, could be quite deadly. For example, the world fine rarely meant fine especially if the woman speaking it refused to glance your way or spat it at you like a bad taste. Also, if tears were falling and they used the 'I just have something in my eye' excuse with the inability to look away from their hands then you most likely caused it. Why did men think reading women was so difficult? Even Jazz had recognized the young Goth's anger and scurried out with a hurried good bye and a sympathetic look for her brother.

Though for all his thick headedness, Danny really could not blame the girl for being angry; how must it have looked for him to be missing in the moment she needed most of all to be held? To be absent from her bedside when she looked around for comfort and the man she had, only a few weeks prior, confessed her love too and had it returned? Although the reaction struck the young man as overdramatic and a little childish, it was an accusation never to be made. Not to Sam. At least now, there was expression of hurt where once there was only a solid mask of indifference to hide pain. Now he could fix it instead of standing by blindly while she slowly died on the inside; even if the anger focused solely on him and his actions, it thrilled him that there was fury at all.

For a moment, all he could do was watch her, study every twist of her head and the way the skin of her neck stretched with every movement, how her lips pouted slightly when she was upset and even the way she picked at imaginary dirt under her fingernails to hide frustration. Some how everything about just watching her summed up Samantha Manson, the girl he had known since fourth grade, the girl who could put ecological activists to shame, the girl who never let a man tell her how to act or what to do, the girl who backed him up even when it put her in danger. The girl he had fallen head over heels in love with. It seemed she did not realize that because as he closed the door Danny watched her eyes close and teeth chew anxiously on her bottom lip, sure signs, at least with Sam, that she was trying to keep calm and settle her troubled thoughts. Such a looked had passed over her face during a thousand tests, hundreds of revenge plans, and several ghost missions. All of this was so Sam like it almost seemed weird to notice Tucker pick at his nails in boredom or Jazz bite her lip in concentration. Every move was Sammy's, from the way she looked at you to greet you to the farewell wave she gave. Danny knew every one, the meaning behind every twitch and nail tap, the emotion behind a certain smile or tear, and the memories behind a laugh; suddenly he was noticing all of these little imperfections about her, the little things that annoyed him so horribly suddenly captured his interest. Everything he once wished to change about the young woman were no longer the 'put up or shut up's' of an otherwise perfect soul but the components that made up something much better; A beautiful, passionate, dedicated person who, all along, really was perfect even with all her flaws. It amazed Danny at how long that realization had taken in coming.

'Sammy' Danny voice fell over the girl who looked around frightfully, a looked of bewilderment painted cutely (in his opinion) across her face. At the moment, the young man was intangible with a plan half formed in his head to earn the young woman's trust back; thousands of things were flawed with the idea but love knew no bounds, including lawful ones, and Sam's love meant more to him then any broken law or worried hospital staff. An invisible hand stroked her tear stained cheek, pulling away just before a solid one came to touch the same place he had; realization seemed to dawn in the beautiful lilac orbs and she began feeling around for the man intent on remaining secret. A coat and pants fell onto her head as well as some wool sock and a pair of heavy gloves; pulling them from off her already mangled locks, Sam looked around irately for the boy beginning to pull thin already stretched nerves.

"Damnit Daniel Fenton, I'm not in the mood to play games with you," was the snappish reply to the silent request, the obviously unhappy girl unwilling to cooperate in the fury that put a jaded view on everything. Running a hand through his unruly hair, the ghost boy solidified in front of her with a loveable grin and waves of apology radiating from him.

"Come one Sammy, just put them on….I have something to show you," he whined, holding out a hand to help the girl to her feet and put the clothes on. Eyes narrowed suspiciously as though unsure of how to gauge the impromptu actions of the young man, a weak hand slowly grasped its outstretched mate and allowed its body to be assisted in rising, several monitors and IV's coming unplugged as she passed out of their reach. Catching her when her knees became to weak to support the unfamiliar weight, Danny tenderly sat her down on a chair and aided in putting on boots and buttoning the coat despite the girls' protests. At last she donned every article, as had Danny, and with one fluid motion the young man lifted the girl into his arms, the warm weight a comfort to feel after far to long in the cold. Both went intangible and passed through the wall of the hospitals 3rd story, rising to an altitude just below the moon, each twinkling star and moonbeam seemingly to be only an arms' length away. In the excitement, Sam didn't notice herself pull closer to the boy hero for warmth and safety, but he did and was all to willing in giving it, hoping that what was still only a half thought out plan would help the girl understand things to difficult to put into words.

Sam remained quiet which, for her, was unusual especially considering the circumstances of their excursion and it worried Danny; perhaps things were to shaky between them to ever be reconciled, maybe the hurts of the past could never be forgotten even in the face of what could be. Speeding up as though trying to escape the terrible thoughts, he tore through a few clouds, spinning and flipping to let the young woman feel the freedom of air and wind and cold fingering their hair, let the purity of life cleanse what darkness left behind, replenish what hate destroyed. It scared her, the way every muscle tensed and her heart thudded so hard it seemed to beat within him as well, but it didn't make her cry out, just close her eyes and gnaw anxiously at her bottom lip. Nuzzling the beauty's' face tenderly, Danny coaxed lilac eyes open by pressing a loving kiss to each lid, feeling them flutter and gaze at invisible air.

'Don't close your eyes" came the whisper, a hot breath blowing on the otherwise cold ear "nothing up here can hurt you." The double meaning was understood full well by the girl, still tense at being up so high without a clue as to where they would land. It was like being led blind across a street, knowing the dangers but completely helpless to stop any coming disaster; it was terrifying not being in control but freeing in the same way with the knowledge that there was someone who would keep control when she could not, protect her when she was helpless, catch her if she fell. The boy holding her so tenderly knew the skies as well as she knew the dark, suffocating seas, navigating them as though it came second nature.

No prettier sight had ever been seen by mortal man then the scene they found themselves wrapped up in, caught in a median between two wonders. Below the clouds parting to allow two lover pass, snow fell like small diamonds, twinkling to a dull sparkle as they parted from the sky in a sad descent while above the clouds a crescent moon hung sleepily, beautiful and soft in the cobalt, twinkling blanket covering the tiny world. Above the clouds, wispy fingers glowed gold, each little drop of water forming the clouds fingers, twists, and curves soaking in the moonlight and refracting it like a light show. Nothing in heaven and earth could match the sheer majesty of the vision before them. This was a world that could never be destroyed or tainted, a beauty that could not be mass-produced to the point of desensitization; it was simply beautiful and Sammy knew nothing could ever make her forget it.

"It's beautiful," she whispered, awed by the majesty, unaware that color and form had been returned to her as the couple became visible again. Emerald eyes focused on her dazedly, a peaceful smile uplifting the corners of his lips as love filled his eyes, drinking in the beauty of something, in his opinion, far more precious.

"Yea…yea it is," he whispered, beginning to dip beneath the clouds, seeing the place he wanted to lead her to in the beginning. Holding her tightly in his arms, the ghost boy allowed his body to freefall to earth as Sam stared frantically at him, clutching as though to prevent oncoming death. Wind poured through their hair, slapped their cheeks fiercely as air collapsed beneath them, giving a feeling of total surrender to life and the mercy of existence. Just as earth rose to meet them, Danny slowed and took all the painful results of a hard landing, wincing as his heels dug into the ground and legs took the sudden impact with a violent shudder. Waiting for the short burst of agony to pass, Danny contented himself with whispering to the young woman still clinging fearfully to his body

"I would never let you fall without catching you, even if it meant falling myself," lowering her gently to the ground, her small feet being immersed in ankle deep snowfall, his hand intertwined with hers, the gloves a bit of an irritation to him. Hormones rushing through his blood frenzied as the realization that he was in the middle of nowhere with the girl he loved, alone and unsupervised yet unable to even remove a glove to feel her skin. The idea was torturous to the hot-blooded young male. Despite the boys obvious discomfort, the young woman seemed unaware of it as a small blush crept up her cheeks and, with all previous anger forgotten, leaned close to the man who in response wrapped and arm around her waist, enjoying the feel of slightly exposed skin jut beneath the coats edge, and began to guide her toward an old, decrepit willow at the very top of the hill they stood upon.

"Danny what-?" pressing a finger to the slightly parted lips to indicate silence, he parted the willows long fern like appendages and beckoned her to follow him into the belly of the tree. Finding the request ridiculous but complying none the less, Sam stepped under the fern like limbs and waited, eyes ill adjusted to the sudden change to darkness that accompanied the entrance.

"There's nothing, why are we here?" she questioned, unaware the words were spoken out loud until the comfort of his touch was torn away, the boy disappearing into the shadows and leaving the young woman to shiver, fears of abandonment dancing through her mind. Footsteps crunched through the ice and suddenly the underside of the tree was illuminated by two tiny lanterns hung from sturdy branches, and the sight revealed drew a sharp intake of breath, any words coming to mind caught in the woman's throat. Each little flame reflected off thousands of tiny ice crystals, taking the light and reflecting it like prisms, colors changing the ice encased inner branches into variations of blue and red and green, violet, orange, yellow, and indigo. It was like stepping into a kaleidoscope. The image was truly breathtaking.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Danny murmured, arms wrapped protectively around the thin waist of the young woman, head resting lightly in the black hair that suited her so well. No sound escaped her and it pleased the young ghost boy to know there was enough of his best friend left to still recognize a wonder like this. His hands massaged her stomach, worried when his fingers felt a rib through the skin; it was still scary that Sam felt the need to push it so far, to hurt her body for a fake beauty. Sam was beautiful, and someday she would realize it, Danny would make sure of it. "I found it last winter, the old tree looked dead until I shined a flashlight on it. Such beauty, I have to wonder why it hides it so well…or maybe it takes a person who really appreciates it to see it." Danny felt every muscle in Sam's body tense as though sensing an unwanted conversation in the works. With a chuckle, two hands tenderly turned the girl around and one cupped her slightly flushed cheeks, directing the beautiful orbs to look into his, wanting every emotion, every fear, every worry, and most of all every truth to pour into her so that there could never be a doubt he could not prove wrong, a fear he could not aide. Danny wanted her to be the only one to see past his masks and walls, and to trust him to see Sam without hers. "Your beautiful you know, just like this tree I almost passed you by but a light shined on you just as I looked and now I think I've finally begun to appreciate everything you are, and question why you try so hard to hide it and change it when if you allowed everyone to see there would never be a doubt of what real beauty looked like…But you tried to chop it down…" Danny stroked her cheek tenderly, studying her with such intensity, it made the girl feel small and broken.

"I was so scared I was loosing the most beautiful thing in my life, a person who continues to throw me off course and puzzle me even to this day, the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. No matter how many times I forced myself to accept your impending death, it shattered another piece of my heart every time I tried. I realized there is no world for me without you, I can't even remember a time you weren't there. When I saw you awake today…I can't even begin to explain everything that went through me, there are no words to convey my relief at seeing you, alive, moving…nor the anger I held toward myself for leaving just when you needed me most, not being their for the event I waited two weeks for, prayed for even when it looked like you wouldn't make it through the night. Whoever heard it answered, and no matter what happens, if death takes me instead of you, it's worth it just to see your smile again, your eyes…" a quiet laugh escaped the young man as he ran a nervous hand through the damp ivory locks, the other still gently stroking her chilled cheek.

"I'm not good with expressing myself Sammy and I think I'm doing a bad job of it, speaking from the heart isn't exactly a trait I prize but I guess I'll give it another shot." An ungloved hand timidly grazed the exposed flesh of his cheek and he smiled gently at the owner of it, catching it in his free hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "There's something about you that breaks me and enlivens me. It hurts when your upset and makes me feel like flying when I earn just a tiny smile; making you annoyed is worth every painful slap just to earn a laugh in the end and I was so scared of losing that. When you-" he took a sharp intake of breath and held her closer, desperately afraid of losing her again. "When your heart stopped and the doctors…the doctors pronounced you dead I…I couldn't handle it, I just held you and begged someone to bring you back, I would have done anything, even killed, if it meant having you alive again. Someone has mercy, or maybe you heard my prayer, because your heart began to beat again, slow and unsteady, but it was there. The only thing running through my head was everything I'd done wrong, the things I never told you, the fear that if I let you go I would lose you forever…I love you, I love you Sammy, I had to have told you a thousand times while you slept and I do. I do love you still, I always will… you're my angel Sam, did you know that? You're the angel that saved me almost eight years ago when you fell from heaven; they say falling in love hurts, but I never thought it would leave a scar" smirking, the young man pulled her closer, listening with pleasure to the embarrassed laugh that memory brought from her, and leaned their foreheads together, smiling in her eyes. "You were an answer to every prayer I'd ever prayed, every wish I'd ever made and I should have told you a long time ago; if I hadn't been so scared…if I had been a little more of the hero everyone expects maybe you wouldn't be here, suffering like this."

"Turn back into Danny, please" she pleaded in a soft whisper, looking so imploringly at him that it was heartbreaking and all he wanted to do was kiss away that insecurity, that pain blanketing the girls' beautiful face. Conceding and reverting back, the young ghost boy found their bodies considerably closer, lips near to touching, nose to nose and eyes locked with all the emotions of both compiling between them. Stroking her cheek with tender fingers and pulling her body tighter against his with one swift move from his other hand, Danny continued to speak in a whisper, every words seeming to disappear into the lavender seas he slowly began to drown in.

"You are so perfect Sam without ever trying to be, until I almost lost you I never realized exactly how much I missed the little things you did. Biting your lip, twirling your hair, that cute little noise you make when you're annoyed with me," a grin lit up his face and he smiled as her lips began to twitch into a smile. "You never let me down, even when I was making an ass of myself; I've never known a time you've failed to help me even when I let you down in return. There is no way I would be standing here today if wasn't for your quick thinking during crisis's and sharp tongue keeping me in line. I know I'm not perfect and that I screw up, a lot, but I hope you can forgive me even if I don't deserve it." Their breaths mingled in the frosty air, lips barley centimeters from each other, eyes halfway closed as the young boy tenderly stroked her cheeks, thumbs brushing away a rush of moisture running down her face. Nothing could break the tender moment, everything from the soft breeze to the falling snow and shimmering ice crystals only added to the beauty of the instant, spinning around within them though they had long since ceased to notice anything but each other.

"I love you Danny" Sam murmured, lips so close to his she could almost feel their softness against hers, wanting desperately to close the small gap between them but afraid to break the fragile connection drawing the closer and closer to each other. Hands drifting from her damp face to sit comfortable on her waist, Danny replied with a voice so overcome with love for the girl in his arms that it made Sam cry softly and open her eyes to meet a pair so enchanting, so enticing that she couldn't bare to look away.

"And I love you Sam, more then anyone or anything else in this world." Both sets of eyes slid closed as they simultaneously filled the gap between them, bodies flush against each other's and lips tenderly caressing their partners, lost in a world of their own for just a moment. Nothing about it was hurried, the two simply wanting to enjoy what it seemed had taken ages for them to get; after of unhurried caresses and gentle touches, Danny shyly ran his tongue across her bottom lip, not wanting to rush into anything but wanting to know the limits and bounds the beauty held tight in his embrace had . Much to the young man's surprise, he found her lips parting at the unspoken request and a hand slink behind his neck, playing with a long lock of hair that hung low. Soon it was joined by its sister and Danny wrapped both arms carefully around her waist and lovingly caressed her back before slowly caressing her tongue with his, crossing a line never even touched upon before that moment. Surprisingly, despite all the sexual connotation behind the simple act, Danny found that the passion was only directed toward showing Sam exactly how much he loved her. It felt so new, so fragile to be in this position, in this moment, holding the woman who had captured his heart and soul without even knowing it; this was precious.

Sam tasted like an odd combination of peppermint and lemonade, a blend that seemed to fit the lithe woman so well. Timidly, he explored her mouth ready to pull away the moment she tensed or became uncomfortable but only received soft, squeaky signs of delight and quiet pleasure. Still, he was not here to seduce and didn't want her to think that was the purpose of the evening. Delightfully, Sam replied to his action by exploring his mouth in turn, her hands tenderly massaging his neck as her entire thoughts centered on the wonderful feelings, the wonderful night, and most of all, the wonderful boy who treated her as though she was made of gold. It made the girl feel beautiful and special, something she wanted the man wrapped up in her arms to feel too; she found herself lost in a taste so uniquely Danny, a blend of chocolate and cherry cola, sweet and maddeningly addicting. Some how, the young woman, as well as the young man, felt themselves beginning to become captivated by the others taste and feel. It only lasted a few minutes but for those precious moments time had stopped for the two lovers, who hesitantly pulled away, breathless and smiling. Sighing in perfect contentment, Sam laid her head on Danny's chest and was immediately accommodated for, cradled protectively and lovingly against the warm body. The amazing evening, as everything must, came to a close as the night's bitter winds broke into their safe haven and killed the tiny flames with one mighty gust; as dark descended in the underside of the tree, the two passed between the branches, fingers gently intertwined, and gazed up at the falling snow.

A small, squeaky sneeze escaped the young girl who leaned back against her boyfriend, shivering with eyes half closed in exhaustion. Checking his watch, Danny's eyes bugged out as the illuminated dial told him they had been gone nearly two hours and it was already past Midnight. Carefully lifting Sam to cradle her in his arms, the young halfa transformed and took to the skies of Amity, barley able to draw his loving gaze from the lightly snoozing form clutching tight to him, unable to resist stealing a kiss as they traveled the pitch black sky. Every feature was relaxed, her eyes shut gently and a smile of pure contentment plastered permanently to her lips made everything about her glow. Sam was happy and at that moment, nothing else seemed to matter; in the afterglow of their excursion, he had almost completely forgotten why he brought her there to begin with and the anger he had, seemingly, succeeded in calming. Truly, the young man had not planned to kiss her then, in the middle of his speech, nor had he intended to pour his heart out the way he did but perhaps some of what was said needed to be said.

The trip was over and as Danny tucked the young woman into her bed, taking great care in assuring her comfort, and laid down beside her, he couldn't help but steal another kiss from her, thoroughly enchanted by the feel of her lips against his and how well their bodies seemed to fit together, hers fitting perfectly into the curve of his body. Smiling into the onyx hair, the young man whispered, before sleep too claimed his weary body, words that although he had spoken them had really yet to hit him full force.

"Love…I really do love you Sam…maybe someday I'll be able to prove it to you.

You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me

Day's turned to weeks and before anyone realized the lapse of time, it was two weeks until the most festive day of the year and the day before Sam could leave the hospital for the first time since the excursion weeks prior. Although the siblings and tag along young man had been forced to return to classes after the end of the Thanksgiving holidays when Sam's condition had stabilized, two of the three returned daily to offer support and tutor the young woman in the subjects missed during her absence. Only the siblings returned day after day, the young man Tucker had been oddly absent and unusually moody the past three weeks, avoiding them and seeming to be constantly in motion. For a boy caught up in technology and the art of vegetation, watching him run voluntarily and ditch his friends for more time at the gym was more then a little worrisome especially for a young woman who hadn't even seen him since their last conversation.

She missed him, his absence in her life brought an aching hole to the pit of her stomach to point she found herself stopping random people in the hall to ask if they had seen him, and even to the lowest point of all: Begging her little brother for a favor, and suffering the amused, suggestive grins that followed, just for the chance to see him. It was ridiculous, over reactive, and probably childish but the redhead was getting desperate; even when Danny began estranging himself from her life it had not caused a loneliness and longing in her quite like this and no amount of analyzing could make sense of it. In addition to the maddening need to see Tucker, to wrap her arms around him and burrow her face in the intoxicating smell of cedar, Danny now seemed to be playing the role of overprotective brother. If anything about her ever changed or seemed off, there was always a concerned look and gentle questioning to pick it apart; it was so annoying, but she supposed it was payback for all of her years of doing the same to him. Still, she found herself running from the constantly concerned gaze and stifling protectiveness.

To escape from a world of pressures was to be free to be you; surrounded by a world expecting so much out of you every moment of your already threadbare life pushed a person to the very limits of patience and sanity. Everyone in the world knew of a safe place to leave for, to escape and fly away to the relaxation of being able to hang up your masks and lay down your walls without fear of judgment or disappointment. One person alone can make a spot special, unique to them, without ever changing the appearance; it was memories and thoughts, the knowledge of having truly run from everything, hiding in a tiny world no one else can breech that made it special. Even a communal bench could be special to some confused, frighten young woman.

Jazz didn't feel the bitter wind nipping at the exposed fresh, red and raw from another violent attack on her person. The offending weapon had nestled itself comfortably in the bottom of her purse, cleaned so as to leave behind no evidence to her self inflicted pain; the young redhead was well aware she should bandage it, hid the truth of what His absence did to her, but there was no effort. Nothing prompted her to hide it, she had no will left in that moment to hide the red tears cried because any moment he would appear at her side and hold her, tell her it was okay and that everything would be alright. That he would never leave. So far an hour passed in total silence, the quiet echoing around the unmoving landscape and tears began to fall; Tucker wouldn't come, she had been stupid to believe otherwise what did he want with a broken woman when, from what she'd heard, he had a thousand more at his feet.

Life through curves that left its player guessing at how the result had ever come to be, one of those was the suddenly health conscious, body conscious Tucker Foley who went from grade A technology geek to school heart throb seemingly overnight. It hurt, a lot, when Jazz thought about how he needed to change to impress others when he impressed those who mattered every day but then again, it was very possible that she didn't matter. That thought left her heart bleeding in a pool at her feet, torn out by the prospect of being truly alone again, of having been played in the worst way and used as the means to an end. Twitter-pated airheads swooned over the handsome African American's sensitivity that made them weak in the knees, how he knew just what to say when no one else did, how kind he was…it made the redhead sick. It was a game and she was the pathetic pawn playing every move without question, lapping up every sweet sentiment like a the dog she was. Finger twitched on the leather handle of a purse, wanting to reach in and retrieve the weapon buried deep in its bowels, itching to dig deep into her skin and bleed out everything, drain herself of the dirty feeling running all over her body. Used, she was used, and it hurt worse then anything else ever had.

"What the hell? Damnit Jazz!" An angry voice boomed to her left, the appearance of an ivory haired, green-eyed ghost startling her to point of toppling over the edge. The white snow turned red on contact with the injured arm and a hiss of pain escaped the thinly drawn lips, aquamarine eyes glaring furiously at the intruder. Figures it would be that little pest who would find her at the worst possible moment, why the fuck did he suddenly care if she lived or died? After almost three years of pushing away every member of his family, Danny had a lot of nerve trying to pretend he had any right to get involved with the pains and problems of people that were total mysteries. Rings of bluish light spread from the teenagers torso and a shocked and disheveled Danny Fenton landed stumblingly, jaw open in horrified fascination at the now red snow surrounding the young woman's arm. It took a moment for the situation to fully dawn and when it did, Jazz watched her brother tremble violently, a look of pure terror darkening his eyes; it was daunting to see such fear on the young man, especially when all she dedicated her youth to stopping his fears and hurts and now caused it. Two strong hands lifted her up, carrying the redhead like a rag doll before cautiously depositing her back on the bench and keep a hand clamped firmly on an unexposed shoulder to make sure she stayed there. Attempting half heartedly to jerk away from the unwanted protection, Jazz found that Danny's Ghost hunting left him stronger then his appearance would lead one to believe. Stern blue eye focused intently on hers for a moment and it was like being x-rayed the gaze was so piercing. It seemed like the young man wanted to strip her of her walls before ever even saying a word, leave the usually collected woman defenseless to the coming questioning. Kneeling in front of her, the boy gently touched the wouldn't, frowning more the deeper each cut traveled through her flesh, studying them as well as the blood with a look of fury blazing like fire in his usually calm ocean like eyes. Jazz could never remember seeing her brother like this, so serious and angry with her, it was unsettling. A hundred different emotions struggled for control over the young mans face and the redhead could only watch helplessly, awaiting the tidal wave of words and fury that were sure to come, the accusations and concern that would follow that, and at last the resigned departure. It was not his place to aide her, at least in Jazz's mind, it was her own problem, her own battle to fight and she did not need his or anyone's help.

"You should have come to me Jazz" Danny finally choked out after a few failed attempts, the situation something he had never prepared to see. Being told of his sisters condition and actually seeing the results of a life long pain were completely different, but both felt like a being kicked repetitively in the stomach. There was no way to handle this gracefully, Jazz always acted indifferent towards the world unless it came to fixing people. It never occurred to Danny why she felt the intense need to do that, maybe it was her way of fixing something broken and unfixable in her own life. The thought stuck a deep chord in him, Sam went through the same transition long ago when the hate of people she saw as more beautiful then her turned into a deep hatred for herself. Nothing about it stood to be different and that made him grab the young woman's hand and hold it in a death grip, pursing his lips in concern and pleading silently for a response, and explanation.

For all the soul searching her escape had given her, for all the thinking space she now created, there was no answer to be found in the depths of her heart or soul that would make sense to a sixteen year old male, not to mention a brother. It centered around one smooth talking, backstabbing, bastard who, despite all his low down actions and heartbreaking words seemed to have snuck into every thought from the moment the sun greeted her until the sheets came over her head at night. He was everywhere, in everything she did and it drove the young woman crazy because it had no place in her life, no definition, and it was unacceptable for anything to go undefined and unanalyzed. The look in her brothers eyes pleaded for an answer, the blood crusting over on deep wounds spoke of pain, and in the midst of the spiraling psychosis seeming to be capturing her in its claws, Jazz's soul ripped itself to shreds in search of the reason.

"I..I…" Cerulean irises gazed pleadingly at her, looking so pathetic she could barley keep herself from blurting everything out in one breath but the sharp reminder that this was none of his business and that her own stupidity brought her into this damned position kept every word in check. "I don't think it's any of your damn business Daniel Fenton so Fuck off and leave me alone." Came the moody, snappish reply the seemed to throw the young man for a loop; the combination of anger and foul language seemed enough to drive him off long enough to run and escape the emotions beating against the confines of her skull, causing a headache to build at the bridge of her nose. Despite being in shock at the response, once his eyes drifted back down to the coppery colored liquid drying like paint on his sisters arms a renewed a sense of desperation and determination in the halfa adolescent. Grabbing the redhead's arm, he jerked her back hard, ignoring the terrified squeak escaping her lips at the unbridled fury bubbling just below Danny's eerily calm exterior.

"Don't you dare tell me my sisters' life isn't my business! What reason could there possibly be for this? Did you get a B+ instead of an A+ on a test? Or did some fucking low life use you again like that Creep Johnny did? What is it Jazz because right now I can't understand why the fuck you've been doing this, I put two and two together along time ago" he lied easily, not wanting to give away the source of his information for fear it would ruin their timid friendship. If he seemed cruel and unfeeling toward her pain, unlike Tucker was, it might be enough to break the wall she had so carefully constructed. Harshness seemed to be the only way to get through a Fenton's think skull and he knew that from experience, if this is what it took to get his sister to talk then it was what he was going to do. "How long have you been doing it Jazz? A month? A year? I always wondered why you wore long sleeves in summer, why you hated tank tops and short sleeves…three fucking years isn't that right? Since your were fourteen…Damnit Jazz, your life is perfect, your grades are perfect, your so bloody perfect it puts perfection to shame! What the hell could possibly push you to do this? At least Sam had a reason, what's yours? Feeling a little under appreciated? Upset that you and your stupid straight A's aren't in the limelight anymore? Look at me Damnit!" he roared, trying to conceal the gnawing of guilt at the violated and distress looked rolling across the redhead's face. It was hurting her in a way Danny hope he would never be the one to cause but even to his unobservant eyes it was obvious something was beginning to snap with in her. Striking her brothers cheek with ever ounce of strength she could muster, Jazz gave Danny a look full of such hatred, such loathing the boy shrunk back, preparing for the rush of anger he would have to soother. Never mess with fire or you'll get burned…Danny always seemed to be the one burn himself when it came to being the hero, only this time there was a chance it would leave a mark. An angry flush rose in the usually pale cheeks and the young redheads lips went so thin they turn white; the sight was truly scary, like watching a bomb about to explode and knowing you were going to get the blast full force no matter how you squirmed. Jazz was left heartbroken by the assumption of her own flesh and blood, knowing no other way to express it then with a burst of fury that left her winded and weak, her mind so blinded by her rage that she had no ability to hold back the thousands of things causing her mind to implode.

"How DARE you Daniel Fenton, you don't know the first fucking thing about me or my life" she screamed, voice rough with the sheer decibel level she was hitting "You think I'm perfect? Fuck perfection, I don't have a choice; do you think mom and dad would give me a second glance if I didn't make perfect grades and do everything perfectly, you think anyone would even know my name? I'd let a hell of a lot of people down if I don't do everything right the first time, If I'm not the level headed, easy going, 'always has the answers' girl. Do you know what that's like? Of course you don't, you can't" She began to tremble violently, hands forming fists at her sides and every muscle in her body tense with the violent onslaught pouring out of her, releasing the stress and pain that kept bottling up inside her until it was almost painful to let out.

"At least Johnny took me as I was, or I thought he did, he made me feel special in a world where I could never dare be myself or else let the world down, and it turned out he was like every other backstabbing bastard in this world. No one cares if I cut or if I fucking try to kill myself so long as I'm there on Monday to be the perfect little school girl, the class pet, the model child. And you know what fucking else? I don't have any friends because of it, who wants to be friends with a straight A bookworm with no social life to speak of? The Chess team won't even associate with me! I can't get a boyfriend because they think the perfect book worm must be co celibate she's begging for sex so I can't trust a damn boy to take me out and not try to get in my pants. Cutting gives me control, it makes my life mine with the knowledge I could end it and no one but me could make my decision. It's the only power I have in my life, you can just fly away to wherever the fuck you want with your precious girlfriend but not all of us are that lucky. And you know what? Your right I was used, I'm used every fucking day even by the one person I thought I could trust…he doesn't give a damn about me and neither do you, neither does mom and dad, and neither do the half brained people who treat me like gold because they know they'll get something out of it. Are you happy now Danny? Happy you finally broke the unbreakable rock? Well fuck you."

Completely drained and left emotionally on edge when the realization of what she said hit full force, she scampered for an escape, backing away in fear and agony from the boy, having no idea where to run but knowing she had to run there. Tears fell scalding hot from her eyes and as she tried to run, she tripped and landed on hands and knees in the snow, sinking fast in the foot and a half deep snow. Hot liquid drops cut through the packed ice crystals like a knife through butter, each one a knife to the already broken heart barley hanging in her chest. Someone had done it, they had finally done it. A person had taken the little control, the little composure she had left and speared it right through her chest, destroying what remained of the secure and strong Jasmine Fenton. She wanted Tucker, she wanted him to tell her it would be okay, she wanted him to wipe away her tears and bring back the smile that seemed so far gone it was unreachable. She wanted him so badly and the pain at knowing he did not care shook loose sobs from her throat; curling up around her trembling body, she cried into her knees letting all the anger and betrayal turn into crystal tears that could be bled out of her body. Slowly a pair of arms wrapped around her, seemingly from nowhere, tender and fluid in their movement as they gently unwrapped her from around her own body, tipping the tear stained face toward a pair of guilty, azure eyes and a pair of warm chocolate eyes, both watching her in concern and affection. Another heart wrenching sob tore itself painful from the redhead's throat as she threw her shivering body onto the young African American's, arms clutching his neck as burrowed herself into his safe scent, her muscles completely relaxing as his arm wrapped protectively around her waist and soothingly rubbed her back until her sobs quieted and she could be tenderly lifted up, sleeping peacefully against the young man's chest.

"Thanks man…I can handle Sam but…" Danny looked down sadly at his sister, brushing a stray lack flaming red out of her serene face "I never knew, I mean I know some of what you've mentioned, but I never thought it was this bad." Giving his best friend a calculating look, the young halfa noticed that his once scrawny, weakling of a friend could probably take out Skulker with one blow now, his time in the gym obviously doing wonders. Something about it left and unsettled feeling in the pit of the young man's stomach but he couldn't find anything truly wrong with the situation.

"No, thanks for telling me about her arm…I should have been around more but it's been really crazy lately…" the young man trailed off and looked away, perking Danny's concern immediately.

"What's been going on Tuck?" he question slowly, watching his friends face for an indication as to what is going on "I mean all this time in the gym…all the dates you've been taking…and now you look like a jock…"

"What are you trying to say Danny?" The boy snarled back, eyes narrowing and arms adjusting so as to avoid waking the gentle beauty in his arms; taken back by the tone, Danny held his hand's up in surrender.

"Nothing man, nothing chill! Lets, uh, go inside and keep Sam company; she's going crazy being cooped up this long." Tucker nodded and started to walk toward the hospital, Danny in toe who watched the boy's every move; maybe it was just concern for his sister that made him snap, but the young man wasn't so sure. He just hoped whatever was eating at his friend wouldn't end the way it had with Jazz and Sam.

Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark
Shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you!

"Goodbye and Good riddance Amity Medical Center! God I hope I never go back there." The day had finally come and everyone was in good spirits as the towering building that kept them captive nearly every day of the past month and a half faded into the distance. The three teens, Jazz driving and the other two lounging in the back, were chatting and laughing quietly as the tried to make the next two hours or so seem more interesting then they most likely would be. It was time to go home, only it would be the same home even for Sam who, to escape suicidal rehabilitation ("If you think I wasting a fucking year of my life at that place your nuts!") the young Goth had agreed to a temporary stay at the constantly supervised Fenton household which meant the next two hours would be spent packing up and moving the more precious of his girlfriends' items. At least Jazz, much to his surprise, had offered her services for the afternoon in order to make things go a bit more smoothly.

Since the previous afternoon, neither mentioned the girls nervous break down in a desire to keep things calm and relatively solid between them. Danny knew he would have to talk to her today about his actions towards her even if admitting his cruelty was a painful hit to his pride, it was necessary if anything between them was to happen. It had been wrong to accuse Jazz the way he had, to be so harsh on a subject that obviously decayed the young woman below the surface, even if the intentions were noble.

The road the hell was paved with good intentions, wasn't that how the proverb went? Why good deeds did not result in good result remained one of lifes' most irritating mysteries. Sometimes it hurt someone more to aide them then it did to let them suffer, lost in their own little words because there is no true way to fully understand a persons pain. It is nearly impossible to know if what you say is harming an already broken heart, or if it is healing and if it is the former you only manage to destroy a fragile person and perhaps a fragile relationship. Most of the time there was room in both parties' hearts to forgive and move one, what worried Danny was that the already cracking bridge between the siblings could not be repaired.

As Sams' house rose before them, the car slowed to a jerky stop at the curb and the overly hyperactive Goth tumbled out, sprinting into her house so quickly all Danny could feel was the wind left behind at her departure. It wasn't surprising, the young woman desperately missed the place she'd grown up in and all the things that held beautiful memories, happy and sad; things she believed she would never see again. What concerned the young halfa was that no one had come to clean the young woman's bathroom, at least to his knowledge, and if the remains still floated there like the water grave he stepped into, it would be hard to ease his girlfriend back from the memories. In dreams, the smell of coppery liquid overwhelmed him, keeping him from diving beneath the red seas to drag Sam from its murderous depths no matter how he kicked, how he flailed, she always drowned and all he was able to do was watch. It was only a dream to the young man, but to the still healing young woman it was an all to solid reality.

Brother and sister exited the car, the older of the two picking up speed to avoid the younger until a weak voice called out to her, pulling on the unbreakable bond connecting them.

"Jazz…I'm sorry, please talk to me," Watching the muscles in her back tense at the suggestion, the boy took careful steps toward her, gently turning the stiff body so nothing was kept in the dark between them. Tears pooled in the aquamarine eyes, a few shaken loose and spilling quietly down overly pale cheeks speaking volumes about the fresh wound still bleeding on the inside, the particular puncture to her heart caused by harsh words and emotional apathy. Breaking down at the sight of a proud existence cut short because of one foolish intention, the young brother did the only thing that seemed proper to do in that moment; her embraced his sister, not caring if she protested or fought. Both of them needed this more then either could willingly admit.

Slowly, a pair of hesitant arms wound around the sturdy body and returned the embrace, seeking mutual comfort in ageless bond between two siblings, the always reachable connection that caused desperate thoughts in a panic and amazing reactions when one or the other became threatened. It was love, primal and unending, the love that made them stick their necks out for the other and go to any point to bring back the others lost soul. A soft sigh escaped the redheads lips, disappearing into the sea of black encasing her face and the young man leaned his face into her neck, a comfortable position as long as they had been siblings.

"I didn't mean it Jazz, I was just scared and I knew that would make you talk…I know it was wrong I was just afraid of losing my favorite sister" to the young man's delight a snort escaped the redhead who responded with a sardonic

"I'm your only sister toad" Grinning like the Cheshire cat, he gave her a big, wet, sloppy kiss and then promptly licked her other cheek, watching as a look of utter disgust shuddered through her body "You are so disgusting." Clamping his head still she did the worst thing a big sister can ever do, she place a kiss on each of his cheeks and then his forehead, giving him a 'revenge is sweet' smirk as he gagged and pretended to wipe away her cooties. Despite the disgusting feeling of his sisters lips against his skin, Danny was thrilled beyond measure that their relationship remained unchanged despite all the changes within themselves. Bridges really could be rebuilt, no matter how slowly the bricks were laid.

Having a sibling was like having a best friend, they annoyed you to the point you wanted to strangulate them, whined until you wanted to tape their mouth shut and lock them in a closet, and sometimes pushed you to the point of attempting to mail them to the Antarctic. Yet, when your left with a broken heart and need someone not to judge, to just be their until you can move past the hurt a sibling is always their, no matter how shaky your relationship is. When your crying they make you laugh, when your upset they take your mind of it (sometimes destructively), and when no there is no one else to turn to they have your back, something the brother and sister were quickly beginning to understand. Watching the young redhead walk away again, the boy wondered how many people he took for granted in the past and why it always seemed to be the important women in his life. Without Jazz, he knew, he wouldn't be the person he was; she love him and supported him in everything he did and sometimes knew him better then he knew himself. No matter the problem, she always helped him find the answer and even when he was a complete ass she overlooked it and showed him the solution to whatever ate at him. In a way she reminded him of Sam; with a quiet smile he called out again, making the woman pause with her hand on the knob, eyes twinkling at his words.

"Got your back sis!" the words were old between them, neither really remembered when exactly they started using it but it had been Jazz's idea and now it was almost a joke between them, even know it could bring a smile to the usual stoic persona.

"Got your ass bro" came the cheeky response before the fiery woman disappeared into the house, followed slowly by a considerably lighter Danny Fenton, content with the fact that nothing would destroy the two true lifelong friends.

Maybe their Bridge did not need to be rebuilt after all; maybe it just needed a little patching.

(You were my strength when I was weak)-You were my strength!
(My voice when I couldn't speak)-Oh when I couldn't speak!
(You were my eyes when I couldn't see)
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith cause you believed
I'm everything I am because you loved me

"Did I really do that?" A war zone greeted Sam as she stepped silently into the bathroom and kneeled between shard of glass and drops of blood leading to the rank, putrid bath basin, blood that once felt so good to spill molding and rotting away in the permanently stained ivory porcelain tub. Drips of blood trailing to the decaying water either resembled month old scabs or grew mold from the variety of bacteria making homes within the decay that once lived with in her. It wasn't hard to imagine the pain that brought her to this and as Sam stepped through the wreckage, hand drifting over familiar place and items, pricking her finger on a loose glass shard in the broken vanity, the old feeling of worthlessness passed through her. Living in darkness was a difficult lifestyle to escape when you were at a time consumed by it, trusting only in the safe arms it provided. Now a pair of truly living arms were always welcoming her yet old ways came in echoes, drawing back the insecurity and the hate still making up much of what lived within her.

Facing the mirror, Sam removed all but her undergarments to stare at the cracked, spidery version of herself staring back, a mess of unfilled holes and cracking beauty, was this not exactly how she saw herself? A horrid, disgusting maggot who deserved to die in the filth she created? Why then did the distorted image seem not to do justice to the beginnings of self-esteem in her heart? Why did she no longer seem the same? Though it still remained difficult for her to see food without see fat hanging off of her, now Sam could see bones where once she saw obesity, saw the scars forming words in her flesh with no recollection of why she did that. Some things still caused a stabbing pain in her, the word freak carved above her breasts one of the many pains with an arrow still tearing holes in her, the hurtful recollection fitting along with the less then beautiful figure she had been cursed with. Heavy bottomed and not well endowed breast wise, she was certainly not the curviest girl in school, and her hair still hung limp in an unflattering style that only added to the opinion she was far from beautiful.

"I'm never going to be beautiful" she sighed quietly, kicking the mirror in irritation that it hadn't shown a figure any different from the ugly little girl that last gazed there a month and a half prior; maybe she still wasn't worth anything despite how she felt inside. Danny loved her and proved it to her every day without even needing to be asked, yet it bothered her to be showered in affection and love when deep inside it never felt as though she was deserving of such a wonderful young man. Kicking away the one of ten of the same outfits lining her closet, Sam closed her eyes and tried desperately not to put herself down but it was hard when she knew nothing would ever change. "Never as beautiful as Paulina in any case."

"Put on a little weight and you will surpass that bulimic airhead without a doubt," a quiet voice sounded from the door. Turning around she saw Jazz Fenton staring at her with a large frown and furrowed brow, obviously not overly happy with the state of Sam's body. Shuffling uncomfortable (as she was in only a pair of panties and a bra) the young woman had the good grace to blush at the situation.

"Danny…."

"Is downstairs packing up a few photo album's and, I think, giving you some space…It's a bit of a mess isn't it?" Sam nodded, turning back to look at the disgusting image provided as a reminder of what almost was, old aches and fears rising like bile, bitter and something she longed to spit up. The darkness would always live in her, she had come to except that, but looking back at how life had been for her a month ago it was incredible…

"Things have changed" she whispered gently, brushing a limp lock of ebony hair from out of her eyes and staring regretfully at the broken image in the mirror "Not enough I'm afraid." A gentle hand directed her from the carnage and into a dark room, the light not enough to take away the violent scent of sorrow and death permeating everything.

"You've changed Samantha" Jazz murmured, ignoring the irritated glare she received for using the girls full name "You aren't the same girl who did that, you probably never will be. Danny tells you your beautiful all the time, I've heard him, and he's right, you are. You don't need to change a thing to be stunning, but if you want to…" a mischievous grin alit the young woman's face as she approached the girls closet, the look on her face beginning to scare the Goth more then a little; when it came to the Fentons, a look like that never meant good things. "Do you trust me Sam?"

"Maybe…" Sam said hesitantly, seriously considering screaming for Danny with the thought that his sister had truly gone insane, the smile crossing the redhead's lips that of one with a plan in a mind, a plan she most likely was not going to like and be forced to go along with. Grinning innocently, Jazz waved her hands around the room and kicked a couple of boxed toward the young girl.

"Pack up everything you absolutely need then lets engage in the age old girl activity. Makeovers!" Eying the redhead as though she had just announced she was marrying Dash Baxter, Sam hesitantly nodded her agreement; never having had anyone to do makeovers with (boys could not be trusted with make up) it was almost exciting to have someone willing to do it despite the fact it could have dangerous repercussions and scary results. Jazz was like Sam's sister, she would never purposely make the girl look bad even for fun, the redhead wasn't like that except with the boys and only when they did something stupid. Usually she was far too calm and level-headed for that.

"I remember this! Danny gave it to you on valentines day after I had to deter him from buying you neon pink heart pillow," Raising an eyebrow, Sam turned around and saw the young woman holding a very worn out teddy bear dressed up in a leather jacket and holding a fuzzy red heart that said 'You make me Wild'. Smiling warmly, she grabbed it from the girl and hugged it tight before putting it in the box, unaware of the knowing smile spreading across her friends lips. Another thirty minutes passed of packing up pictures, posters, stuffed animals, clothes, and various knickknacks all of which had some story behind it, several memories to precious for the girl to leave behind even for a few months. Soon everything was boxed up and taped and the girls wondered exactly what had happened to the Gothic girls Boyfriend ("I don't think he can blow anything up, I just hope he doesn't try to cook") before Jazz closed the door with a slightly demonic grin.

"You're going to knock Danny off his feet when I'm done with you." She murmured and beckoned Sam to follow her into the walk in closet, wondering what could possibly be left to get in here "I saved an outfit I thought would look great on you and I've never seen you wear it, and no its not that horrid pink sweater I founding tied to the cat-scratcher." Chuckling at the fate of that horrid waste of fabric, Sam gazed up and down the racks of unworn, to small, to ugly clothes that were left behind until her eyes fell on an outfit she did not even know she had. Following the Goths gaze, a small grin alighted the redheads face and she pushed the girl toward it

"Put it on, it will look great on you, and try those shoes right under it too if they still fit." Sam heard the closet door shut as she tentatively reached out and lifted the clothed from the hangers; the style was different from anything she worn, far more in style and preppy then she ever tended to own. It was a gift, this particular outfit, from a since deceased grandmother and it had, until now, remained unworn in Sam's quest to stand out. Slipping it on, not truly understanding why it felt so difficult just putting on clothes, and pulling the boots on before feeling out the knob in the semi darkness and tumbling out into the tornado zone that was her room, tripping over a box, stumbling into a dresser, and landing in a conveniently placed pile of stuffed animals with her arms sprawled out and legs kicking in an attempt to dislodge her body from its trap. It took the redhead an eternity to catch her breath, laughter doubling her over with a stitch in her side and a red face. At last, when the fit dwindled to the occasional chuckle, she grabbed Sam's hand's and yanked her to her feet, pushing a roller chair towards her and indicating that the girl sit. Doing as was indicated, she waited while her friend set up a rather large make up kit at her right side and what could pass as a hair salon on her left.

"We're going to start with your hair and I'm going to ask that you not move to much during this please, I want to get it just right." Feeling more then a little apprehensive about the whole situation, Sam tried desperately not to fidget and sneak glances at the mirror just three feet to her left. It was another moment of nearly total helplessness, leaving total control in another persons hands and it was something that the young black hair girl had issues doing, so far it only happened twice yet it still made the girl uneasy, even among people she trusted with her life. In an attempt to calm herself, Sam tried to remain amused by likening certain beauty and hair products to torture weapons, making up stories in her mind of Vikings tortured by a hair curler or mascara brush. The thought, she had to admit, was hard to picture.

"This is looking great" Sam heard her murmur quietly as a single strand of hair just out of the girls' sight, was wound around something and tugged at the sprayed, some of the sticky hairspray getting on Sam's face.

"Hey Jazz, you should get a makeover, I'm sure it would wow Tucker" several items simultaneously crashed to the floor and sounds of Jazz cursing under her breath as she burned or pricked herself made Sam turn her head in concern only to see a considerably flustered Jasmine Fenton hurriedly placing hair products on the table.

"Face forward!" came the sharp reply and the lavender eyes girl faced forward again as the redhead began finishing up Sam's hair and moved on to her make up "Why would I want to 'wow' Tucker?" Came the seemingly innocent reply and had the previous question not caused an avalanche of hair products, the Goth might have believed it but unless there was an emotion behind it, nothing flustered Jazz bad enough to cause clumsiness in her. Grinning knowingly at the denial, Sam began to enjoy making the young woman squirm.

"Know the first thing I saw what I woke up? You and Tucker comfy cozy in that hospital chair, nearly made me pass out again, you are so obviously into him I don't know how you can't see it." Sam couldn't see it but could only imagine the hot flush running up the older girls face at her words, and she wished she could look at the expression on Jazz's face, sure that it would be priceless. After stuttering out an incoherent response, Jazz managed to calm herself enough to answer in words and sentences rather then odd noises.

"He…comforted me, he does that a lot there's nothing romantic about it, he's my friend. I don't love him…I mean I do but…" an uncomfortable feeling pooled in the redhead's stomach, uncomfortable with having to face the emotions that kept her up at night especially in the company of someone else "I don't know…" A soft chuckle accompanied this response, the lavender eyes closed as Jazz applied some eye shadow to her lids, the younger girl amused by the response far to much the she probably should be considering it was her same state of denial for almost three years. "What's so funny Samantha?"

"You." came the immediate response, said girl unaffected this time by the use of her full name. "You have fallen hard Jazz, I should know I said the same thing three years ago after I kissed your brother and look what happened. Deny it all you want to me but you have to feel something, I've never seen you as happy as you are with him…and that I've noticed so you can't deny it. Something about you actually seems to glow around him and from what Danny tell me he's the only one who actually knows anything about you. You love him Jazz, plain and simple."

"I don't do romance, it's to messy now sit still I'm almost done. True he makes me happy but doesn't he make you happy to? Yet you're not in love with him so why make you think I would be? I think your just love obsessed." Sam suppressed a sigh, knowing that nothing she said would ever get through to the hard headed girl, it had taken almost three years for it to get through to her how much she loved Danny and Jazz was far more like Danny then she was like Sam: thickheaded and stubborn. Jazz also, at least to Sam, was afraid to love anyone. Danny told her about the major breakdown he had induced in the girl and how she talked about being hated, being alone, not wanting to be with anyone because they only wanted sex. It was not fear of the men that had her, it was a fear of actually falling in loved that had her. Sam could understand it, admitting your heart was in the hands of another person who could as easily step on it and look at it was hard, especially when said person was your best friend. No it wasn't easy, but well worth it and the dark girl hope Jazz figured it out before she let a good thing slip between her fingers.

"Finished! You look great Sam! Forget better the Paulina, better then any super model on the market!" Standing up, Sam hesitantly approached one of the only remaining full length mirrors and did a double take, unable to believe the person standing there was her; it had to be a trick, she could never look that good. A hand brushed the reflection confirming that it was indeed her image reflected though it was a hard thought to swallow.

Sam wore a lavender turtle length sweater with a light jean jacket over it and a pair of dark blue jeans with embroidered purple and silver flames climbing from the bottom of each pant leg to about her knee, the edges of the pants covering a pair of slightly heeled black leather zip up boots. It flattered her figure and fit her to a tee, the sweater baggy enough to hide her anorexic tendencies. The second biggest shock was her hair, pulled up into a black clip so that it fell in all sorts of directions with two clear, rhinestone studded chopstick like hair pieces immersed in the noire locks, simple and stylish at the same time. In the front of her hair a single strand of hair hung in a light curl, the black replaced with a rich purple color to match her eyes. The make up Jazz used was considerably lighter then her usually gothic blacks and grays; a dark shade of purplish blue was applied to her lid, dark purple to the crease and a very light lavender to the place just below her eyebrow with a little eyeliner under the eye, offsetting her eyes and making them look brighter and more vibrant. Her lashes curled slightly and were given a light coat of mascara making her look slightly mysterious. A light gloss was all that was applied to her lips, making them shine just a little bit, and some powder and blush offset her already flawless complexion. A little sprucing and touchup's here and there brought out the natural beauty Sam didn't even know she possessed, making it openly shine instead of being dulled and covered up.

"This is…This is amazing! Thank you!" Came the squeal as Jazz found herself wrapped up in the arms of a hyper active teenage girl, grinning ear to ear in pleasure at what the older girl had done for her. Chuckling, she returned the embrace before replying teasingly

"You owe me a makeover…" Sam's eyes widened and mischievous grin appeared on her lips, the cogs already working behind the seemingly innocent, doe like eyes. Nothing about the fake appearance fooled Jazz for a second, she knew it rarely ended well when any of the trio plotted. "Within reason, now lets get these boxes downstairs and find your boyfriend so we can watch him imitate a fish." Giggling conspiratorially, the two girls piled the boxes up and pushed them out the door and carefully down the stairs, laughing when one or the other tripped or some other amusing action that the two giddy teens could find cause to giggle at.

After stacking the boxes at the door, they went in search of Danny who they found snoozing on a vibrating recliner looking like the cat that got the cream and murmuring something unintelligible under his breath. Deciding to be a little unconventional, she leaned down and pressed her lips to his, parting his lips slightly finding a pair of arms wrapping around her as the young redhead grumbled about overactive hormones somewhere in the background. After a moment of rather enjoyable lip lock, they both pulled away breathless.

"What a way to wake….up…" Danny had finally opened his eyes and was now looking at Sam bug eyed, his jaw steadily falling into his lap. Azure eyes roamed up and down the girls' body hungrily, seemingly trying to undress her without taking a scrap of clothes on and was out of the chair in an instance, dipping the grinning girl over before engaging her in another mind-numbing kiss, so very gratefully he every right and ability to do so now. After another breathless moment they pulled away and Danny put Sam back on both feet, hands still firmly set on her waist, seemingly unable to get enough of the girl before him.

"You like?" she asked, pulling away to twirl and grin flirtatiously as her boyfriend wolf whistled, chuckling as both females tossed something at his head. It was exciting to see Danny so worked up over her appearance, glad that she could impress him even after eight years of friendship and a month of dating.

"I love, but I think I love the girl more," he said, pressing a quick peck to her lips again, causing a blush to burn in her cheeks. "You look stunning Sammy, truly angelic…you'd look beautiful anyway I think but…but you really shine now love" flushing one more in pleasure, Sam intertwined her fingers with his, her body positively humming with pleasure at his compliment. Jazz was still gagging in the background, amused and disgusted by the constant make out sessions between the two. The couple stuck their tongues out at her in a true sign of maturity and received one back.

"I would tell you both to get a room but I really don't want to end up an aunt at seventeen." Watching the two faces turn red as cherries was well worth the outraged whacks she received from the thoroughly embarrassed couple; seeing that her work was done, she moved toward the door .

"Come on lovebirds, it's time to hit to road grab a box and lets go!" Following her directions, the two grabbed some boxes and stumblingly brought them to the car, dumping them in the back before climbing in. As Jazz started the ignition, Sam leaned again Danny and closed her eyes, feeling him smile contently against her forehead before placing a tender kiss on the exposed skin and wrapping a loving arm around her waist, both unaware of the slightly envious looks they received from the girl in the driver seat. The two were happy just being wrapped up in each other, their entire world finally beginning to come together as they began their journey home and to, hopefully, a new beginning for everyone.

(You were my strength when I was weak)
(You were my voice when I couldn't speak)
(You were my eyes when I couldn't see)
You saw the best there was in me!
(Lifted me up when I couldn't reach)
(You gave me faith cause)you believed

Downtown Amity, a collection of delabtaed brick and sewage clogged streets steamed with the rank odor of human sweat and the raw stench of vomited alcohol. Low lives from every walk of life inhabited the dark corners and crevices of dirty streets and dangerous corners, the fear of every policeman in the area and star of any mothers nightmare. Packing every sort of item from bullets to LSD, no crime was to low to commit, no money to dirty or item to banned for men in trench coats, doped up and watching the world pass by with narrowed, paranoid eyes to carry with them. Nothing about this place deserved to exist, none but the desperate traveled the lone streets unless in search of escape or protection. It was the bowels of mortal hell, the beginning and end of all human sin and everything from the raw rotted reek of human feces to the women lined at street corners ready and willing for their nights work, dolled up in overstated rouge and skimpy fishnets.

Trudging through the filth with a hood concealing his identity, a young African American checked the lighted dial on his worn wristwatch, tapping an impatient foot and attempting to keep away from the blinding street lights, worried about discovery in such a scum infested place. Waiting was hell, the ticking away of a second one more weight added to the paranoia and addiction mounting on Tuckers shoulders. If any were to recognize his presence in the dirties section of town there would be no helping him, no reconciling the obvious. So much could go wrong, so much could already have gone wrong.

"Hey kid, over here." Eyes snapping up, the dulled brown irises saw a shadow disappear into the pitch-black alley, trench coat concealing all identity from the always watchful public eye. Shady and reeking of booze and marijuana, the dark figure leading the young man from the safety of a single street lamp waited menacingly at the very end of the back alley. IT was one of those people you expected to murder you in your sleep with a switchblade kept just within reach, his hand twitching with obvious reaction of a drug induced buzz, body loose yet threatening in addition to the cold, beady rat like eyes glaring out you from inside a hood.

"You got the goods?" Tucker asked harshly, leaving a five-foot gap between the young males, staring each other down in mutual suspicion.

"Only if you have the cash," Pulling out two twenties, the young man tossed it down at the shady fellows feet, a maddened twitch beginning to develop through out his body. A thickly wrapped package landed in the space to the front of Tuckers feet and without another word, the dangerous man had vanished into the night having far more meetings to attend and sales to make. Carefully tucking the parcel away in his bag, the young man departed the alley planning to make it back to the Fenton's before anyone suspected the truth of his absences. Discovery was dangerous, and Tucker did not intend on letting danger come to him, not when he was so close.

So very, very close to payback.

I'm everything I am because you loved me
Ohhh
I'm everything I am...
Because you loved me

End A/N: Know what I found out while writing this? I can't write without having first written the beginning and end Authors note…I think it's a little OCD showing up or something :sighs: anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that it lived up to all expectations. While I'm writing this I'm rather dreading trying to shuffle my way through writing this (mostly the overly emotional parts) I almost wanted to kill Sam just so I wouldn't have to do a lovey dovey scene but , whatever. I hope you liked the effort and weren't to grossed out by the kiss, I was twitching slightly as I wrote it lol :hates kissing:

You know, I always think 'what the heck am I going to do? I've run out of ideas' and every single time I write a chapter longer then the one before. I don't understand it. I get lazier and lazier every chapter and yet they keep getting longer, I stopped trying to write really long sections oncee I hit page thirty and 22,236 words and their still at least two pages long! And as for all the things that light did in this chapter (reflecting off ice and water vapor) yea, don't take that to a science teacher cause I don't even know if that's possible, I don't do science :shrug; So, what do you guys think of the character development? Too much or do you just not care? Tell me cause I wanna know Anyway! You know the drill, Review Review Review!