Justice for the Dead
Chapter One: Hauntings
By Ame Rokugatsu

Tsuzuki was reading a manga with a powder doughnut in his mouth. Really he should have been doing his paperwork but that never stopped him. He finished his doughnut and giggled. "Sang-chan is so funny!"

There was a tapping on his shoulder. He tipped his head back to be confronted with a pair of angry emerald eyes. Hisoka frowned, "Baka! Why aren't you working!" (1)

Tsuzuki whined, "Mou, 'Soka-chan…you're so mean!"

Before it escalated further a discreet cough interrupted them. The two looked up to see Tatsumi. "You have a new case. Go to the meeting room for your briefing."

"Can I finish my comic first?" Tsuzuki asked hopefully.

"No."

In the office Konoe started the projector after handing Hisoka the case. Gods know that Tsuzuki would have lost it within minutes. A picture showed up on the screen. It was a young woman.

She was rather pretty though obviously not of Japanese descent. She had fair skin, long, fiery hair, and stormy grey eyes. She was wearing mismatched dangle earrings and the corners of her mouth were slightly quirked up, speaking of a mischievous nature.

Konoe cleared his throat and began. "This is Piper McLain. She was seventeen years old and from America. She came to visit Japan three weeks ago, but was murdered last week-"

Tsuzuki cut in. "If she was from America why isn't the American Meifu investigating?" (2)

Hisoka sighed. "He has a point, but if we know how she died why does it need to be investigated at all?"

"She was killed in Japan, in your district," Konoe directed at Tsuzuki. "As for why it needs to be investigated, well, that's the odd part. She died last week. We know this because her candle went out, but her name hasn't appeared in the Kiseki! And there was nothing supernatural about her death! Hisoka, Tsuzuki. It's your job to go find her. She was last seen alive near the beach." (3)

Hisoka nodded. Tsuzuki blinked in confusion, "But how can a dead person go missing?"

It had been a week since her death, and she had been working hard. It wasn't easy and rather tiring but she had learned how to affect the physical world for a few hours at a time. She chose to use those few hours wisely.

Piper smirked. Her plan was working. Start off slowly before working her way up to big things; make him think he's cracking up. She had only been going at it for a week and Tajiri was already getting twitchy. Oh and look! The small black hairs on the back of his neck really were standing up! And all this time she just thought it was a metaphor. She giggled sadistically.

Satoshi Tajiri twitched. There it was again! Like someone's staring at the back of his neck. He looked over his shoulder for the tenth time in the half hour. Nothing. But then, there never was. 'Why am I so nervous? I haven't been this nervous or twitchy since the third girl!'

Piper, who was sitting cross legged firmly planted on nothing, sighed. 'Staring at the back of his neck is getting boring.'

She floated across the room still cross legged. 'Maybe if I stare at him from a different angle?'

She floated to a seated position above his head. Then she turned upside down so she was looking him directly in the eye. He might not be able to see her but he could definitely feel her.

Tajiri started to blink, his eyes feeling watery. Then his brown eyes started to dart from side to side as if looking for something. Pretty soon he was darting his eyes from side to side and squirming as though someone had dropped an ice cube down the back of his shirt.

Pipper grinned. :Oh yeah, I've got your number.: She burst out laughing when Tajiri bolted like a frightened hare. (4 & 5)

Tajiri squirmed wildly in his chair. Now it was like a sniper had a gun aimed at the middle of his forehead! His eyes fell on the office clock. Lunch break! He bolted. 'What the hell is going on!'

(1) Baka is Japanese for idiot. Hisoka frequently calls Tsuzuki this.

(2) Meifu is something like purgatory. Certain terms are confusing because they do not always translate well from language to language or from anime to manga. I'm using a mix of the anime and manga because I do not have a complete set of either one.

(3) The book of the dead check in. When you die your candle (life) flickers out. But your name isn't written in the Kiseki until you show up in the afterlife, not when you die.

(4) When Piper talks I use these : markings. She is not really alive and not particularly physical there for she does not "sound" like everyone else. My way of writing it as it is not a manga where I can circle the text twice with thin and wavy lines. See Tokyo Babylon book one for further information/a visual.

(5) Hare- a rabbit.

Hello dear readers. I am back from Hawaii. While there I managed to get chapter one done, which to be honest is amazing as I had lost ALL of my notes. My evil computer deleted the file so I am not getting them back. The good news is my fellow author and cousin, Ichigo aka Sakurazuka-chan, was on vacation with me and between the two of us we managed to make a whole new set of notes.

However I have gotten a review that I would like to address piece by piece. This review came from Kara Angitia. Normally for a review like this I would personally email the sender, however as it was anonymous I'll have to do it here. If I should get another review like this I would much prefer it if you would leave your email address so that I may contact you without spoiling the plot line for other readers.

Kara Angitia
This is bad.
That is insulting by itself. As note to all reviewers do NOT start a review that way, it tends to make the authors, well, annoyed. If you did not like a story start off nice then go into why you did not like it. Something like 'well this, this, and this were good but…' It is by far more likely to keep the author in a good frame of mind.
Your grammar and spelling is fine, I only picked up on a few spelling mistakes ('board' should be 'bored')but that doesn't save this story, its so boring to read, what you have here could have been written over several chapters.
Well thank you for pointing out the bored bit. I, like most people, have a hard time editing my own work. My cousin is my beta reader/editor, even so we still do miss a few things here and there. There is a spell check thing that authors can use on but if a word is spelled correctly but is not the right word it will not catch it. If you (any of the readers) notice any please let me know. When I get the time I will make the changes to the chapter.
However for it to take up several chapters it will. It is called a prologue. A prologue is a basic introduction to a story usually not taking up more than a page. The basics are laid down and then are to be fleshed out in the following chapters. This is something taught to us in high school, especially in SENIOR English.
I feel nothing for this 'Piper McLain'(not a Japanese name by the way) even if the poor thing has been kiddnapped, raped and tortured, you make it sound so trivial just a flimsy plot device to try and build up sympathy for the character.
I'm also not so sure I like the 'poltergeist' idea, while it is true that poltergeist are a manifest they are actually the remains of intense emotions, there is no actual form behind them, there isn't even a real mind.
Alright darlin'. You're right. Piper McLain is not a Japanese name nor does it sound like one. Well, no shit. Piper is from America. I know that in Anime that characters are given unusual hair colors and eye colors but their names stay Japanese unless it's a really bad dubbing. Piper has red hair and grey eyes and a name that is not Japanese. From these points one would assume that the character herself was in fact NOT Japanese. If there was any confusion over this try asking about it or reading a few chapters and if it has not been explained with in three chapters then ask the author about it.
I'm sorry that you feel nothing for Piper as she is a rather unique character. However you got it wrong. I am not trying to make you feel sorry for Piper though that is an idea. I'm explaining WHY she hasn't moved on. She is angry and she wants her justice (thus the title).
As for the poltergeist bit you are flat out wrong. I did my research and I left a DICTIONARY definition in the prologue. A ghost is left over emotion, not a poltergeist. A ghost always appears in the same spot (not necessarily the same time) and ALWAYS does the exact same thing and cannot interfere in the physical world. A poltergeist shows up whenever it wants like a ghost but does not do the same thing over and over without any change. Unlike a ghost a poltergeist can move things and is not always visible. A very good example of this is Peeves the Poltergeist from Harry Potter or did you not like that either? As for there not being a mind behind a poltergeist while improvable for either side, I think you're wrong. It is just pure speculation but it seems to me that poltergeists can think because what they do is very calculating. If you need examples go to your local library or if there is not one in your area use the internet.
You fic is a really good idea but it could have been done better, add more discription into your work, try and flesh it out a bit.
Once again it is a prologue. Not much happens in any prologue other than setting the scene. In writing they teach you to start off small in your descriptions and slowly add bit by bit so that around the middle of the book while there might not be a full written description the reader can tell you exactly what something looks like. No I did not say what Tajiri looks like, but then he was only mentioned in the prologue, not actually seen. As for fleshing it out, well, that's what chapters are for. After watching two minutes of a movie you have an idea of where it's going but you do not know, you have to watch the rest of the movie to be certain. It is the same thing with a prologue and the rest of the book.
Oh and one more thing. If you leave a review about spelling and grammar and what not…make sure YOU spell things correctly in your own review. Kiddnapped is spelled kidnapped with only one d, and discription is spelled description with an e not an i.

Sapadu- Thank you for your review. It was quite nice of you. Though I have to admit I am a bit confused about the "show don't tell bit. My email address is on my profile page so contact me if you like.