Chapter 23
Nomi sat beside the refresher bowl crying again. She had woken up sick this morning. Sick from guilt if I'm lucky that's all I deserve. She sat on the floor with her legs crossed. The heels of her hands were at her eyes. She had had the dream nine times that night as she tried to sleep. Her conscious wouldn't allow her to get over it.
Nomi leaned back over the bowl. I haven't eaten anything! Where is this coming from?
She sat back down and wiped her mouth with a towel. She began to think about what she had asked Luke that night. She had told him to sleep in the other room. What would possess me to do that? Nomi hadn't seen Luke all morning. She wondered if he was upset with her for pushing him away.
He has to understand. I just couldn't look at him without thinking of Dad. She was fine now. Whatever had made her sick had passed. She sat with her back against the wall for sometime. She closed her eyes, and almost immediately her lack of sleep over took her. But that meant the dream wasn't far behind.
Nomi stood in a dark room. No one was around but her elderly father before her. He was standing there, arms folded over his chest with a disapproving look on his face.
"What's wrong, Father?" She asked in a timid voice, which only seemed to come when she was talking with her father.
"You're marrying Skywalker?" His voice was filled with astonishment and disappointment.
"Yes." Nomi braved.
"Why, Nomica? I worked so hard to send you someplace better than Tatooine and this is how you repay me?"
"I never wanted to leave! You wanted me to leave. I had fun on Tatooine with Luke."
"But I sent you to find something better. Now, I hear from, not you, but your aunt that you're getting married."
"You never spoke to me! How do you expect me to live up to your expectations when you never spoke to me after I got onto my transport?" Nomi's voice was full of accusation.
"I did try! Do not make it sound as if I completely ignored your existence! You did not want to speak with me. You told me that you never wanted to speak with me again."
"I was angry! You sent me away from the man I loved!"
"You were only seventeen!"
"I was pregnant, Father! He would've taken care of me! He would've married me then! I could've stayed on Tatooine and helped mom, and you, and helped take care of Ramey!"
"No! I wanted a better life for you! You were supposed to have more!"
"I loved what I had! I didn't want anything more! I was happy! I was with Luke!"
"Did you tell him about the baby?" Her father said as if it was an accusation.
"As a matter a fact I did!" Nomi said.
"And did he deny it? Did he say that he wasn't the father, as I told you he would?"
Nomi had calmed down, she remembered Luke's reaction. "No, because Luke isn't like that. He was excited. He even asked for a picture so he could see her." Soon though her anger rose again. "It killed me to tell her I lost her. It killed me! It was like I was going through it all over again."
"Did you tell him before or after the proposal?"
"Before."
"Well, then see!"
"See what?
"He doesn't really love you. He just asked you to marry him because he got you pregnant. Its not real love!"
"Yes it is! The baby is dead! He wasn't bound to me for something that happened so long ago!"
"He doesn't really love you, Nomica."
"Yes he does!" Before she realized what she was doing she pulled the lightsaber from her belt. She quickly activated and had it in hand.
"Have you set a date? Are you ever going to get married?"
"I'm getting married to Luke. And I know you don't want us together but it's too bad. We're going to be!"
"What makes you so sure he won't leave off planet again?"
"When he left to find his friend? He left without fully knowing if you were going to stay."
"How did you know about his leaving?"
"Now that he knows you're going to stay, what's going to prevent him from leaving again?"
"He's going to stay! We're going to get married! And we are going to have that family that you split up!"
"Are you telling me or yourself?" Her father said as if he had just proved a point.
Before Nomi realized what was happening she was turning the lightsaber in her hands. She made one swift spin and then was face to face with her father. He was standing there, leaning forward. What've I done? The lightsaber had gone through him.
He was in a pain. She could read it on his face as if someone had just written it on his forehead. He collapsed and Nomi was left standing there. She watched as his breathing slowed and soon stopped.
Nomi was awake again. She had only been asleep for half of an hour. She could feel the tears coming on again. She just put her head in her hands and let the tears come.
Luke walked into the bedroom to see that Nomi wasn't there. He walked out onto the balcony. The permacrete floor was wet and slippery. Luke for a split second thought that maybe she had fallen. He just as quickly dismissed the thought, I would've known if she had been seriously hurt. If she's not out here, where is she? Luke followed her Force signature. It led him to the refresher.
She was sitting on the floor with her face in her hands. Luke quietly sat down beside her. He began to massage her back. He knew she didn't want to be babied, that wasn't her. She always wanted to handle things by herself, even if it wasn't the best idea.
Nomi was glad Luke was here. She could feel her tears drying up. She wiped her eyes and looked at Luke. She tried to force a small smile on her face.
Luke could tell she was faking. He quickly took her into an embrace. When he pulled back he took a moment to look at her. She looked pale, and her eyes were now read and swollen. Her hair was tangled and she on one of his larger tunics.
"You okay?" He asked her as he pushed a chunk of tangled hair behind her ear,
"I think so."
"Did you get sick?"
"Yeah, but I'm okay now."
Luke felt she was lying to him. But if she wanted him to think she was okay then he would respect that. "Come on; let's get you into the common room."
Nomi tried to stand, she wobbled quite a bit. She began to loose her balance and fall when Luke caught her. "Maybe you should eat something." He said as he helped her stand back up.
"I'm not hungry Luke."
"You're going to make yourself sick, if you don't get enough rest and sleep right." He knew he was doing the thing he had just said he wouldn't do. But he knew that she needed to take care of herself.
Luke helped Nomi into the kitchenette. He sat her down at the table and began to make her some soup. Nomi's mind was else where. She was thinking about the things her father had said in the dream.
Luke set two bowls of soup on the table. One for her and one for himself. She had hardly said anything to him. The silence was driving him crazy, but he knew she would speak if she wanted to.
"I think I'm going to go with Gavin to the funeral."
"That sounds like a good idea."
"I'll need to contact him to see when he's leaving."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"I think you ought to stay here. It might be for the best. I'm sure how everything happened will be brought up quite a bit."
"I just don't want you to have to do this alone."
"I'll be fine. I'm going to take care of the arrangements for Ramey."
"Are you sure you want to do that?" Luke asked skeptically.
"I'm sure." She sounded much more confident than she had earlier.
"Alright."
"I'll finish unpacking all the boxes when I get back." She said nodding toward the stack of boxes in the hallway.
"Take your time, don't rush yourself." Luke responded. "How many did you get done by the way?"
"Five. But there is still ten more, I think." Nomi continued to look down at the soup she was eating. She set the spoon down, "I'm going to go call Gavin."
"Okay." Luke just nodded and let her go. His own commlink chirped for his attention.
"Skywalker." He answered.
"Luke, its Leia. The council wants to talk to you. I think they want you to check out some of the fighting that's been going on near Felucia. If you want me to I can tell them no for you."
"How long is it going to last?"
"About a standard week." Leia was amazed he was even considering it.
"I'm coming." Luke walked out of the apartment without saying a word to Nomi.