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Hey, everyone! Lovely time, isn't it? Oh, right, the stupid hiatus is still going on. Scratch that lovely thing then, damnit. Still, though, I hope you all had a fantastic time on Christmas or Hanukkah or all those other holidays that guy who came up with Live 8 mentioned in his e-mail (sorry for forgetting your name!)
Thank you, as usual, darlings, for your sweet, wonderful reviews! They truly light up my life, I love you guys! I'm so glad you liked this story. I really thought it would go on for maybe three chapters and look now! Chapter 17! Isn't that whacked? And all thanks to you. Not to mention, I've been re-reading and printing this story for my dad (did you see the re-vamped chapter 1? I still can't believe how bad it was before. Blech) and I noticed suddenly that Veronica's has been asleep for, like, six chapters – how did you put up with that? That's totally not cool of me.
Right, moving on from all the gushing and loving and gratitude and stuff, I just wanted to say that I hope you enjoy this chapter and that I kinda think it's the last. Well, not last last, I'll make an epilogue or something, but still.I promise not to make any "five years later, Veronica stood in front of the old, gruffy preacher and said her vows..." because I dislike those.
Oh, and final thanks to my great beta-reader wildhorses for being just awesome!
(sniff sniff) Enjoy!
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The next morning, when Logan woke up, his gut was still twisting with unease, courtesy of a dream he just had. He didn't remember the details, only the sick feeling that it gave him.
Things were gonna get bad again. He just knew.
He was never wrong before. Whenever his stomach started sending him warning signals, something bad always happened. Granted something bad always happened anyway, but on those times when he was able to predict it, he could at least tell himself afterwards, half a bottle of something later, that he saw it coming and how smart was he!
Logan imagined this crisis was probably going to be about Veronica. Nothing gave him so much pain, and joy at the same time like she did, so obviously whatever bad thing happened, it was going to either be to her or because of her.
How screwed up was his life, by the way, that he was praying for his dad to die in prison or that the house be set on fire instead?
She smiled and moaned his name. Her eyes were half closed and she was clawing her nails down his back. For a moment he felt sorry about not having a few sex-cameras installed around the room, if only to capture that moment and rewind-play it for all eternity.
He wondered if she was going to break up with him. Again. If so, it would be their third time. Three more and they would break the record he and Lily had set (5 breakups in two years). He wondered if maybe the problem was with him, because Veronica and Duncan had dated for about a year and a half and had maybe one "major" fight during that entire time. It was something about how Duncan forgot to call her once even though he promised he would.
She never accused Duncan of rape or murder. Well, murder yes, but not rape!
He wondered if he should feel sad that apparently everyone he had ever cared about tired of him eventually, or happy that they always came back to him despite everything – at least until they died.
Stop it, dude, you're driving yourself crazy. Over a GIRL, for God's sake. Grow up!
Still, he just couldn't stop obsessing about it. Maybe that was what Lilly had meant when she told him he was way too clingy for her taste (or was it intense? Intense certainly sounded better than clingy, but not much) (or was it scary? Scary sounded worst that clingy and intense combined).
Last night had happened too quickly, that must have been the problem. He pushed her into having sex too soon, and he didn't even mean too. He was just so happy to see her, he couldn't control himself, and it's not like Veronica was strengthening her chastity belt at that moment, either.
Still, he should have been the responsible one.
Girls made such a big deal out of sex. He didn't, of course. It's not like it was his first time or anything, it's not like it was perfect or magical or any other cheesy words one could use to describe something other-worldly.
Stop it, dude. You're not fooling anyone. I'm you, remember? I can actually tell when you're lying, you know? Grow up, seriously.
He felt like he would never be able to move again. Like he didn't even want to. Why would he ever want to?
He reached for the phone but stopped mid-way. If she hung up or made up some lame excuse to hang up, he'd… well, without his morning coffee, who knows what he might do?
Break to pieces. Beg. Grovel. Apologize. Jump off a bridge.
No, best pretend that he still had a shred of bad-boy in him. Best go to school and wait for her to come to him. Or at least wait for her to smile at him or something equally reassuring. Yeah. That was a good plan.
She fell asleep almost immediately, still shining with sweat and with her hair still ruffled. He smiled to himself because he still had it and smiled at her sleeping form because he was more than willing to give it to her along with the earth, the moon and everything she'd ever ask for.
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Veronica didn't have to do the whole opening-closing-opening-eyes ritual when she got out of bed the next morning. She simply didn't sleep at all. Apparently, that IV bag she had attached to her arm all those days in the hospital wasn't just some kind of new hippy bracelet. Turns out it was filled with drugs. Much needed drugs.
Without them, whenever she so much as closed her eyes, she would immediately see Aaron's face. He always said the same – Veronica… - and always in the same terrorizing, malevolent whisper that would make her clutch the blanket tighter over her body and look around the room. And then, after he'd whisper to her (even when she imagined him with Lilly, he would always say her name), she could always suddenly smell the retched odor of gasoline, all around her.
Lungs cracking. So much smoke. What a horrible way to die.
She wanted to call Logan. It seemed she could only find sleep when she was in his arms, possibly after he had spent a good amount of time and effort in exhausting her. But it had been so long since she had dialed a boyfriend's number and curled the phone's wire between her firngers while waiting for him to answer. All of the phones had turned cordless on her.
Strangely, more than she was afraid of movie stars trying to kill her, Veronica was afraid of Lilly's shadow. How could she ever be as good as her? And what was she thinking, getting involved with her mythological ex?
You chose the worst time to leave me all alone, Lilly. I could really use your help right now.
He looked like he loved her, and maybe he said so, but she couldn't remember, and it didn't really matter.
Someone honked outside her apartment, causing to her jerk away from her delusions.
Veronica let out an agonized sigh. Wallace, Wallace, Wallace. Why are thou so compliant? She was so willing to skip today and try to get some sleep (not to mention the advantages of avoiding a certain b-o-y friend. Promises be damned). But noooo, he had to come pick her up, that… that… disappointing best friend.
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Still, somehow, as they walked down the halls of nice familiar Neptune High, Veronica couldn't help feeling a little safer. True, being happy about going back to school was a very sad concept, but there was something about the anguish in that place that made her feel right at home. Also, no Logan in sight – yay! Maybe he called in sick – double yay!
They took a place in their old, reliable, possibly made of oak table and Veronica felt like spreading her arms around it and filling it with kisses. It wasn't even lunch break, just the half hour break they had between second and third period, but, given the fact there weren't any movie theaters on school ground, most kids chose to go sit at the lunch area anyway.
"So Wallace," she asked, "what'cha gonna do this summer?"
Wallace shrugged good naturedly, "I think I'm gonna go to basketball camp with the team, actually. Could be fun…"
She pouted, "Aw, you're gonna go away for the entire summer and leave me all alone with these freaks?" she asked, pointing at Neptune High's suddenly creepily friendly students.
"It's only for a month," he reassured her, putting on his best growing-up-in-the-Hoods accent, "when I get back, we gonna party, girl! You feelin' me?"
"I'm feelin' you, my brutha," she answered, her voice sounding even faker than his.
Wallace let out an exaggerated relieved sigh, "Good, cause I was afraid that with all this fortune you have lying around now, you might forget your roots, you know?"
Ah, yes, sweet, sweet fortune, where have you been all my life?
"Don't worry," she said nevertheless, "I'll always have time for the little people."
He laughed sweetly and started munching on a donut (and, again I remind you, it wasn't even lunch!). "You ready for the history final?" he asked between hefty bites.
She shrugged, "Sure, I've had plenty of time to study… then again, I was drugged most of the times, so who knows what I've been studying…" she frowned helplessly, "Collin Ferrell was that nice man who conquered half of the known world, right?"
Wallace snapped his fingers with disappointment, "Man, I was gonna ask you to text-message me the answers but you're even dumber than I am right now."
"Ouch, Wallace, that stung," she said, holding a hand to her heart, "seriously now, I think I owe you one or two favors, I could help you with the test."
"What? After all those times I risked my life for you, I think you owe more than two favors!"
Veronica gasped, "Hey! That was always for the greater good!"
"Fake IDs!" he fake-coughed.
"Excuse me, didn't I save your basketball career once? Or, say, cut you off the flagpole and worked things out with Weevil?" she asked pointedly, "And how about that damsel in distress I helped you save?"
He raised his arms, "Fine, I surrender. You're my he-ro, Veronica Mars. So would you please help me with the test?" he asked, giving her his best suck-up grin.
Veronica smiled back, "Sure."
Wallace made an over-the-top gesture of thanking God before noticing a girl sitting on a near table, "Hey, look! There's Cora! Remember I told you about her?"
Cora being the latest girl Wallace had a crush on. There were days in the hospital when he couldn't stop talking about her – "She's really cute, I met her on a pep rally… no, she's not a cheerleader, stop giving me that look… but I like her!" It always amazed Veronica how he was not embarrassed in the least to admit that he liked someone.
She, on the other hand,was currently hiding from her boyfriend.
"Oh, so this is Cora, the? Hmm… I thought I heard Disney music coming from somewhere…" she looked around as if trying to find a hidden orchestra. Truth be told, this Cora-person looked like the nicest girl around (well, second nicest, and where was Meg anyway?) and Veronica was really happy for her best friend. Still, she'd probably only let him know that on their second anniversary, if at all.
"Come on!" Wallace protested, "Look at her! She's so sweet!"
Veronica chuckled, "I know, that's what I was saying, only I meant sweet in the traditional way, not in the Dude, Where's My Car? way. And I meant it in a good way."
Wallace's face broke into a sunny beam, "So, you like her? You're not gonna pull out those Veronica Mars claws?"
She stretched out her palms innocently, "Claws? What claws? Now go talk to her already, you have, like, ten minutes left to charm her pants off!"
"Alright!" he chirped, "See ya later, Veronica."
"Good luck, Loverboy," she winked.
She observed him for a moment as he sat next to the girl and they started perfectly reenacting the New York Times bestseller Talking with the Person You Like: A Beginners Guide complete with perfect nervous glances and awkward smiles.
Okay, where was that boyfriend of hers? Veronica kinda wanted to see him suddenly…
She looked around, trying to spot him, but he wasn't sitting at his usual spot in the 09er table. Duncan was there, though. He waved uncertainly and mouthed: 'So, you heard?'
Veronica frowned. 'Heard? Heard what?' She shook her head back at him. He pursed his lips and grinned weakly: 'Oh, you'll see…' he said before rolling his eyes and turning back to the conversation. Like, thanks, buddy.
With another shrug, Veronica got up and started walking back towards the school. She tried to resist the urge to call her father immediately and ask him what the hell Duncan was talking about, but someone was waiting for her next to her locker and suddenly she couldn't really remember her last name (some planet maybe?).
"Hey," Logan almost-whispered shyly.
She gulped and made an attempt at a smile, "Hi."
This was a lot more comfortable when they were naked.
Logan kissed her awkwardly and they started walking together towards… well, somewhere. Veronica was doing her best at staring intently ahead while Logan's eyes were fixed firmly on her. He had a pair of unnerving eyes, that one.
Finally, he decided to break the ice somehow, "So, you do anything interesting yesterday?" he asked pointedly.
Veronica blushed to the core of her being but managed to hold her own, "Hmm… define 'interesting'."
He shrugged and she detected a hint of a smirk, "World turning, mind blowing, worthwhile, you know, something like that?"
It was amazing how much time they could spend talking without saying anything. He wanted desperately to ask her if she was going to break up with him and she wanted desperately to ask if she was a disappointment. And yet.
"What, like Bungee jumping?" she clarified, "No, nothing like that."
He stopped suddenly and wheeled her around so that she was facing him. They both gulped inwardly. "Seriously though," he said faintly, "you're… I mean, you're not… traumatized, or anything, right?"
She looked like she loved him, and maybe she said so, but he couldn't remember, and it really didn't matter.
Veronica felt tears forming themselves in the corner of her eyes. She got on her tiptoes and locked her lips with his, not even taking the time for pleasantries before meeting his tongue. This was the best way she could answer questions like this. When they finally parted for air (and discretion, mind you, this was the main hall, after all), she laughed timidly and mimicked the finger gun he made for her once in synchronization with the bell.
Logan just stared at her, stunned. He was probably still trying to figure out what the response to his question actually was and she realized the time when she could just shut his question up with a kiss was coming to an end. One day she'd have to explain to him what it meant to walk around for a year thinking you were raped and find out that you were kinda, but not really and what that does to someone's perception of sex.
Also, she'd have to explain to him what it's like to sleep with someone you've heard stories about from your best friend and what that does to someone's perception of themselves.
Yeah, okay, maybe she was really traumatized, and maybe it happened a little too fast. But kissing was just so much easier than breaking into a long tedious monologue, plus, you know, a lot more fun. So there.
With one quick peck on the lips and a half smile, Veronica turned around and walked away unsurely.
"That would be a 'no' then?" Logan asked no one in particular and touched his swollen lips.
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(Sounds of champagne bottles popping and music)
Logan: "Dudes! This story's over! Finished! Whoohoo! We're finally leaving the basement! And I can get an annulment for my stupid marriage with Lily! Oh, wait, she's crying now. muttering Jeez, I hate that bitch. I'm sorry, Lily, your story was really nice. Yeah, I know I called it a piece of… but, you know, it was only because there wasn't any sex. Now there was. Oh, stop crying, you annoying, little…"
Veronica: "Right! I think what Logan's trying to say is that we're just happy to leave and go back to Neptune. Yeah, I know you guys can't believe I just said that, but you have to understand, this basement sucks! And I really want to see what happens on the show. I can't handle the suspense – will Duncan and I finally break up?"
Duncan: "Hey! Thanks, Veronica. I love you, too."
Veronica: "Oh, go impregnate someone."
Duncan: "Yeah, real mature, Sweetie."
(Lily: "Guys! Remember? The REVIEW thing? Please?")
Dick: "Yeah! REVIEWS! With phone numbers for me! Get on it, ladies! I ain't gonna wait for you forever! Also, dudes, my brother's getting some and I'm not? Come on, fanfic people, why do you hate me?"
Wallace: "Yeah, I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I agree with Blondie here. I've been here waaay before Cassidy or Beaver or whatever, and there used to be a time when you paired Mac with me! What happened? And Lily, you finally throw me a bone, and now you're ending the story? That's just mean, girl. Really mean. Could someone please REVIEW in my honor or somethin'?"
Cliff: "Can we wrap this story in which I have no part whatsoever already? There are some strippers who need me to handle a case for them and I'd really like to get on with that."
Logan: "Yes, let's please. Me and Veronica are scheduled for some yachting, if you don't mind. Though this time I'm totally coming to pick her up."
Weevil: "And I'm gonna do some real damage if I hear something LoVe related ever again. If there aren't any Weevil stories soon… well, let's just say certain writers are going to find themselves taped to certain poles, got it?"
(Lily: "Fine, annoying nags. All day long it's just 'I want this' and 'why not that'. Weevil wants a paint job, Mac wants her gadgets, it's really exhausting. So let's just raise our glasses and REVIEW? Pretty please? Cheers?")
CORRECTION:
All: "Wait, so there's still one more chapter? Oh, man! Why?"