As I watched my patient die, I couldn't help but think of my mother. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her. With things going on in my life, I'm surprised I didn't break down any sooner. I needed to be alone, but there he was as he followed me. I never wanted him to see me cry. I was so terribly upset and I had begun to hyperventilate. He comforted me...gosh, that voice of his. He spoke to me in such a manner that made me forget all the hurt I've felt these last few months. The pain I've suffered seemed to have diminished at that very moment. Just for a moment.
I never thought I'd need him in my life, but, I guess I was wrong. I laid my head against his shoulder. Somehow without realizing it, I felt my hand in his. My god, a few seconds more, we would have kissed. I would have let him. And if he had, I would not have been able to stop myself. I would not have had any self control.
I told myself I was over him, but I lied.