Hey guys! I'm Rachel and this is my second or third fic on here! Basically I love a lot of Ryan angst so expect a lot of it in this story! I'm going to leave things a bit of mystery so please please read and tell me what you think and I will post the next part! Be gentle with me and review! Thanks guys! I also write the Fic Close to you so please check it out!

Falling…faster and faster. The wind whipping around him as he plunged deeper and deeper into the darkness below, the air whistling though his ears as he gasped for a breath of air that never came. His eyes wide with terror as the ground drew nearer and nearer. The rain was pouring down as lightning illuminated the dark stormy sky above, cold drops spattering his face as he fell, arms flailing and screaming soundlessly the ground drawing closer, closer…closer…until…BANG

Ryan awoke with a start gasping for air his trembling body soaked in a film of cold sweat as his heart raced and blood rushed in his ears. He scrambled out of bed his legs caught in his tangled bed sheets as he stumbled towards the bathroom blindly still struggling to draw breath as he pulled the bathroom door open and shakily felt around for the light switch. Feeling the cool plastic beneath his fingers he pressed the switch illuminating the small bathroom in light. Squinting against the sudden brightness his heart still hammering in his chest and in his ears, he turned on the taps causing water to gush out rapidly. He struggled to draw breath, his chest felt like an elephant was sitting on it and his racing heart throbbed slightly on every other beat. He swallowed hard and bent over the sink cupping the cool water in his hands and throwing it over his face washing away the sweat and cooling him instantly. His heart slowed slightly and he found his tight chest easing slightly and he gulped down the air around him. Still leaning over the sink he breathed deeply and slowly, shutting his eyes and sighing.

It was just a dream Atwood, don't be so pussy…

He opened his eyes and gradually straightened up, but he was knocked back by a wave of dizziness causing him to stumble slightly. The room spun around him as he reached out to the side for support and steadied himself as he started to sweat again. He groaned closing his eyes again and swaying slightly on the spot. Why did he feel like this? He felt so crappy. Now sure he wasn't about to collapse, Ryan took a few tentative steps towards the door trembling from head to toe. Using various pieces of furniture around the room for support he managed to stumble shakily back to bed, he collapsed down onto the king size and let his head his the pillow as his chest continually ached dully. Pulling the duvet over him as he began to shiver he sighed and closed his eyes praying he'd feel better in the morning…

The Next Morning

Ryan felt his eyelids flutter slowly open as the buzzing of his alarm clock shook him from his uneasy sleep. Yawning widely and stretching, he reached across and turned off his alarm before sinking back against his pillows and sighing heavily. Blinking the sleep from his eyes he slowly sat up expecting another wave of dizziness but none came…He blinked a few more times before swinging his legs out of bed and glancing out the window, golden Californian sunshine was pouring through the gaps in the blinds and illuminating the room in orange light and he could see Sandy pouring coffee at the kitchen window and whistling to himself. He sighed heavily his head pounding slightly as he shuffled over towards the bathroom door scratching the back of his head and ruffling his untidy hair as he went. He had probably had a grand total of three and a half hours sleep and now he had school and an exam to deal with…great, just great. What a fantastic morning this was turning out to be.

Meanwhile

Sandy took a long sip of his coffee and sighed, swirling the black steaming liquid around in his cup he stifled a yawn and looked out the window to the blue coastline below. He smiled slightly and leant against the counter, he looked at his watch. 7:45…shouldn't Ryan be up by now? He thought vaguely, usually Ryan up by 7:30, Seth didn't "emerge" until about ten to eight but Ryan was never late…Odd, he thought. He frowned and glanced over to the pool house, the blinds were still drawn and there were no signs of movement from inside. Sandy took another sip of coffee and decided to go and check on him; after all even at weekends Ryan was up before 8. He was never late. He placed his mug on the counter and was about to head over to the door when Seth shuffled in yawning widely and ruffling his wild hair.

"Morning son." Sandy said with a smile as Seth groaned and grabbed a bagel from the basket on the counter. Seth shut his eyes in protest against the bright kitchen lights and bit into a dry bagel, he was so tired he could barely hold his head up. Why did he have to spend the whole night talking to Summer? He scrubbed a hand of his face and yawned again widely when suddenly he looked around aware that something wasn't quite right. What was missing? He frowned slightly and looked around the kitchen scratching the back of his head…what was it? The bagels were there, the cream was there, the eyebrows were there…the old take out containers were there…Ryan! He thought triumphantly.

"Um…Dad where's Ryan, it's like 7:50 Ryan's usually in the orange juice and brooding stage by now." Seth remarked looking around the kitchen as if to expect Ryan would jump out from behind a cupboard. Sandy frowned and his brow furrowed as he looked at his dishevelled son.

"Good question, I think he's still in bed…maybe I should go get him up he's gonna be late." Sandy said wondering what reason there could be for Ryan to be so late. Seth's mouth dropped open slightly…Ryan wasn't up? Ryan was usually up a good hour before most people and he was never late.

"No Dad, leave it to me. I am the expert in this family at waking Ryan up. Trust me it happens most nights when Captain Oats just isn't a good enough source for me to vent my inner pain and torment into." Seth said with a slight smile as Sandy rolled his eyes feeling a slight stab of pity for Ryan, having to be woken up at night to listen to Seth's inane babble about Summer.

"Go on then, but hurry up. Your mother's gone into work early and if you want any chance of a lift you better be ready soon." Sandy warned smiling slightly to himself as Seth saluted and bounded out of the doors across to the poolhouse his dressing gown swinging behind him.

Seth stopped in front of the closed pool house doors and tried to peer through the small gap in the blinds but he couldn't see anything. He sighed slightly and knocked. This was weird, Ryan was never late up. Hmmm maybe he was abducted by aliens, he thought vaguely to himself. He could vaguely hear shuffling from inside he didn't hear the usual mumble of "come in" that often came from inside, nor did he find Ryan at the door letting him in. He frowned again and decided he would have to break the brother's bonded promise of always knocking. Slowly he opened the door peering inside timidly to find an empty room. The bed was unmade and the covers were strewn into a heap at the foot of the bed in a tangled mess. Seth scratched the back of his head uncertainly as he surveyed the room in front of him, there was no sign of Ryan. He took a few tentative steps forward when he noticed the bathroom door was slightly open and the sound of running water could be heard from inside.

Ryan never leaves the door open if he's having a shower…does anyone?

Seth thought to himself, he felt an odd sensation growing in the pit of his stomach as he approached the door. Something didn't feel right…He edged slowly closer the rushing sound of water growing louder in his ears as his heart hammered in his chest. He swallowed hard as he approached the half open door.

"Ryan? You in there man?..." He asked

When he received no reply he felt the unpleasant feeling in his stomach become more pronounced, suddenly his mouth had become as dry as sandpaper, each swallow bringing a burning scratchy sensation. His blood was rushing in his ears as he gently pushed the door open the sound of water drowned out by his pounding heart. His gaze travelled from the gushing taps down onto the white tiled floor where he saw something that made his pounding heart jump into his throat and his breath to catch in mid gasp.

There on the smooth tiled floor in a heap lay his brother, his eyes closed as he lay perfectly still the tap still gushing.

A/N I know you're all thinking not another Ryan sick fic but it's different...trust me! Please stick with this and review! Thanks!