I'll update at least once every couple of weeks. There's a difference between wanting to read a certain type of story and to write it, but since it seems to be a lack of this kind of story I have to write it, so you'll have to forgive me if my story isn't all that good.

But I just love suicidal Harry stories. (Of course it has to be Harry/Draco.)

I'm sorry the chapters aren't longer at the moment, but I'm going to write them longer by and by. I hope.

A shattered heart, An empty soul

Harry sat on his bed. He had suffered trough a whole week now, and it wasn't getting any better. Inn fact it was getting worse.

So far he had lost almost 100 point for his house, and Ron and 'Mione was almost never to bee seen. 'Course it was much his own fault too… When they asked him to come, like, to Hogsmede, he muttered something about homework or something and went of.

He wanted to be alone these days. It seemed as if even Malfoy had noticed it.

"Hey, Potter. Where have you put your so-called friends? They finally found out what a looser you are!" Draco had said, showing him aside and laughing.

That had been quite an episode wand then he'd cursed both Crab and Goyle, but seemed to miss Draco. Snape put him in detention.

And then they laughed, and told that he couldn't hit a barn-wall from within. But the trough was that he just couldn't get himself to put rabbit ears or otherwise hurt the perfect blond god. Nor could he bruise that perfect pale skin…

Yes, he was hopelessly in love.

So now he just sat on his bed, listening to a muggel cd player he had 'stolen' from Dudley. As if he would notice, he had five or six of them!

The cd's had he actually bought himself, as it wasn't too hard to exchange money in Gringots.

"Facing the storm

and there's no one by my side.

The curse will take its toll

Is it justice or a foolish pride…"

He lay on the bed, one arm draped over his forehead, and he sang in a lost voice. He sighted and changed song.

"A shattered heart, an empty soul Just one false move and it took its toll

The rising of an evil seed

I can't describe the pain I feel…."

He was in deep thoughts about Draco. How he wished he could see him, talk to him for real. Just once.

"Endless stairs, a guiding light

That once was warm, but now is bitter cold.

It's freezing hearts, it's freezing souls Soon icy shades will cower all…"

He never saw Hermione coming in the door, wanting to know where he had been all day.

"And when I laugh, it's tears I hide

And when I cry its joy inside

A foul decease has stained the land

The bitter harvest of a dying bloom…

And when I cry, it's joy inside

A wicked smile for all the tears I hide

It hurts to hold all the pain I feel

The bitter harvest of a dying bloom."

She felt her heart almost stop at the agony in Harry's voice. 'Why didn't I see it?' She wondered. She felt so sorry for the black haired boy on the bed. She was supposed to be his second best friend after all.

"Harry?" He shut up. Almost jumping out of the bed.

"Hermione? What are you doing here?" It was after all the boys' dorm.

"I was just wondering where you had been all day. You weren't at dinner, nor at lunch."

"I wasn't hungry. No need to worry, just had too many chocolate frogs." He really sucked at lying to his friends.

"I see…" She could tell he wouldn't speak of it.

"So, what was that music?" she tried to sound cheery.

"Oh, It's Demons & Wizards." He was glad she had let the subject drop. He really couldn't deal with a worried Hermione at this time.

She wanted to ask him to come with them to watch the quidditch-game, Hufflepuff/Slytherin.

"So, want to go to the game with us?"

"What game? No I don't think I have time." He seriously couldn't remember what game it was. It wasn't his anyway.

"It's Hufflepuff vs. Slytherin. You know!"

"Really." He could see Draco then….

"All right Hermione, I'll go." His eyes shone, causing her to believe there was more to it than watching a game it was obvious that Slytherin would win anyway. She didn't really bother right now. She was just glad he was back with them again.

And Harry followed the blond god with his eyes all trough the game, secretly rooting for Slytherin. But that was the last time he did anything with his friends for days.

Even thou he didn't know it, he was slowly withdrawing from the world. And even if he said to himself that it was to keep them safe, it wasn't the real reason. And deep inside, he knew.