It was the most humiliating day of my life. I Jackie Burkhardt had the unthinkable, on my dress, a mayo stain at least the size of a pin head, I know, humiliating, I could feel there eyes on me, boring into me. I kept my head down all mourning, despite Michaels constant reassurances you couldn't see it ("Jackie the rest of your dress is yellow to!") I saw through him, it was sweet of him to try though

What was less sweet of him was when some blonde slut came on to him, he reciprocated, I willed myself not to be mad,

"after all," I thought " Michael would never cheat on me,"

it didn't stop me from being annoyed though, I mean, if the mayo stain was so bad he could have helped me find something else to where rather than ditching me for some cheap skank! God! He was so superficial!

"Michael!" I squeaked to get his attention, as soon as I had it I staked my claim to the blonde, kissing him sweetly, unfortunately Michael never got sweet kisses and started attempting to make out, moving his lips so it was as if we were making out only my mouth was still closed, it was gross! When he finally pulled back my whole face was wet and you know what he did! He went right back to chatting up the blonde, who didn't seem to notice anything

I huffed and turned to survey my kingdom, the peasants(nerds!) were staring admiringly at me, as they should, the cavalry(the jocks) were of to burst some twig of a kids bubble, the whores(the….whores) were….whoreing, the slaves (weird girls who follow my every order) were waiting for assignments from their beautiful queen, my royal court(cheerleaders) were flocking around me, and all was well in my lands…almost. I sighed and scouted for the only 3 people who didn't fit in my perfect kingdom, the rebel, or in my words, the criminals, granted Donna and I were friends, that didn't mean I had o like her friends, Steven Hyde and Foreign Kid, I finally found them wandering over to chip and his victim,

"what the hell" I thought, "Steven Hyde did NOT defend peasants, EVER!"

It seemed he had made an exception as I watched Chip back down…quickly, I rolled my eyes

I had to get better cavalry

I would have just let all this fly if it weren't for the look Donna gave the would-be peasant. It was a look I knew well. Donna liked peasant-boy. My eyes widened and I grabbed my kings sleeve and dragged him towards the scene

When we got there peasant-boy said something I didn't hear

Michael did.

I know this because he chose this moment to end my spying and yell-

"BURN!" he was wearing that grin, the one that made him look goof, adorable, stupid, sweet, ridiculous and pre-…Man-pretty all at once, I didn't know whether to be humiliated by him or just angry he ruined my sneakiness, I chose a combination of the two

"Michael! Shut up! Now I'll never know what could have been!"

he just continued to grin so I gave I and rolled my eyes turning my attention back to Donna and her friends…….o and peasant-boy!

"so…"I tried to be discreet, "Donna, I need to go to the bathroom and…discus the human twig" I failed

Donna rolled her eyes and returned to coaxing peasant-boy out of his state of shock, I took this time to take in the other people around me,

Foreign Kid(I think that's his name..?) was looking at me like the whores did, I have no doubt that had Steven not taken him in he would have been one, despite this when he looked at me with those hopeful eyes I had to smile, he was kind of cute, not that I'd ever admit this,

Michael had seen something shiny and was long gone, it was sweet how…simple minded(I will Not say stupid) he was,

At this moment I saw the 'something shiny' in question, was a necklace strategically placed in Pam Macy's cleavage

I glared and decided it wasn't so sweet.

Last and least was Steven (I refuse to call him Hyde) he was…ignoring me! How dare he, no one ignored me, I hurried over to him hoping no one noticed he had ignored me, people respected Steven, they shouldn't have but they did, so if he ignored me someone was bound to try it to and start a whole chain of ignoring.

"Hello Steven" I said in a business tone, I didn't want him thinking he was aloud to start a conversation with me!

He looked down at me through tinted sunglasses and turned to look strait ahead, I refuse to believe he was ignoring me again

"Did you hear me! I said hello"

He sighed and oped his mouth, I thought he was going to respond but instead yelled out

"Donna little help?" it took me a moment to realise he was talking about me but when I did my blood boiled, HOW DARE HE! Nobody ignored Jackie .B. Burkhardt! It just didn't happen

I narrowed my eyes

"Excuse me! You need help! Because the only other people here are busy or basking in my radiant glow I am forced to talk to you, I need help!"

"You can say that again"

The insult didn't even register, he was no longer ignoring me, all was at peace, my kingdom had won the war. I was just thinking about all this and other delights of my kingdom when…

"So who are you?"

He invaded it