A/N: Whoohoo, another story in Birthday Month! LOL, actually, I just managed to finish the stories today. Just made the month! LOL. Hope you enjoy this somewhat...odd...story. LOL. It's not one of my favorites but I like it.
Summary: 'Hmm,' I thought as I scrubbed the floor. 'Isn't that stupid Prince Charming suppose to be here by now? Obviously, someone hasn't read his script correctly.' A parody where the actors of Cinderella follow a script and an unexpected twist occurs…One-shot.
Disclaimer: I do not own fairy tales.
Claimer: But I do own this plotline, the characters, and the story.
Enjoy!
How To Act Out A Fairy Tale
Hmm,I thought as I scrubbed the floor. Isn't the stupid Prince Charming suppose to be here by now? Obviously, someone hasn't read his script correctly. I angrily wiped my sweating forehead and glanced at the door. Where is he?
Let's recap: I went to the ball, danced and was all giggly and girly. It stuck twelve and I left, leaving my glass slipper behind. So why wasn't he here, making an attempt to find his beloved?
Ugh, honestly. He hasn't even started a search for me!
The door suddenly opened and I straightened, waiting. Sadly, it was just my dear old "stepmother". She sneered at me.
"Ella," she said snootily. "I have some news for you."
I straightened almost immediately. Maybe she was going to reveal that my prince was here and save me from this place!
"…you missed a spot."
And my bubble burst.
"Oh…yes, milady," I responded and scrubbed harder. Stupid prince.
Just as Stepmother was about to leave, she stopped and looked at me quizzing. "Isn't the prince suppose to be here for you by now?" she asked, frowning.
I sighed mournfully. "Yes, he is, actually, with my glass slipper that – "
"That I will smash and dash any of your hopes of ever being wed to a prince, unaware you have the second one," Stepmother finished, nodding. "Yes, of course I know what happens; I have read my script, you know. But obviously Prince Charming hasn't," she muttered darkly.
I nodded. "Yeah, it's getting a bit tiring having to clean the floor repeatedly."
Stepmother sent an apologetic look. "Yes, I am sorry for that, dear. It does say in the script, however, that you must be scrubbing the floor when news comes from the palace."
I sighed again. "It's all right; you're only doing as the script says."
Suddenly, one of my "stepsisters" bounced into the room, glancing at me and sent me a sympathetic look.
"Prince Charming still hasn't come?" she asked, her eyes sad.
I shook my head sadly.
"Curses to him!" Stepsister – whose real name was Amelia – said. She scowled. "If I have to wear this huge bum thing anymore longer, I'm going to be stuck in a door!"
I had to stifle a laugh when I noticed how large her bum was, as the script had said, Stepsisters were required to wear big bums on set.
"And honestly, this hair?" Amelia continued, wrinkling her pretty little nose at the short, thin, bouncing curls. "How completely horrid! I can't wait until my next job in Sleeping Beauty where I'll be a princess and not have to look like a balloon!"
"You got the part for that?" I asked excitedly. "Wow, congratulations!"
She beamed at me. "Thanks! I heard the guy who plays Philip will be hot so I am excited!"
"What's going on here?" asked Stepsister Number Two – real name Linda – as she entered the room, her brows in a crease. She glanced at me and frowned. "Where is Prince Charming?"
I shrugged. "Not sure, actually. It said he was suppose to be here three days ago and no sign of him yet."
"That stinks," Linda responded before plopping down on the couch, looking bored. "I'm already sick of being Mean and Ugly Stepsister; honestly, it's so dull."
Amelia nodded empathically. "Especially with the big butts and thin curls."
Linda sighed and touched her hair, wincing. "Yes, the hair is a tad on the thin side.
Stepmother – oh, I failed to mention her real name is Janette – plopped down next to Linda.
"I miss my daughters," she said mournfully. "I thought this fairy tale would be over by now so I could go back to raising them."
I patted her head sympathetically. She has two daughters, age five, and only took the Evil Stepmother role so she could raise money to help feed her children. They better pay us overtime for the stupid prince's mistake.
Suddenly, we heard the unmistakable sound of hooves and all four of us leaped to the window to see a royal carriage come up the drive.
"Finally," Amelia muttered before straightening herself, turning her face nasty. "How do I look?"
"Perfectly nasty," I responded.
"Good," she said haughtily before moving towards the door. She stopped and glanced at Linda. "Umm…you're suppose to race me to the door…"
"Oh, right!" Linda exclaimed and they began shoving each other, running all the way to the door.
Janette patted my arm as we made our way to the stairs. "See, dear, he did come after all," she said soothingly before suddenly stopping and looking at me. "Oh, I forgot, I have to lock you up now…"
I scrunched up my nose. "Aw, darn."
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I waited patiently in the locked tower, producing tears as I wondered how long this was going to take; my patience was wearing thinner and thinner with this Prince guy. I mean, he was ruining a classic. Think of all the poor children, wondering what was happening to this supposed fairy tale.
Hmph. More like a nightmare.
The door suddenly unlocked and I leaped up, putting on a surprise face. Finally, those darn mice decided to hurry it up!
But instead of mice, my stepmother came in, her face ashen and eyes wide.
"You…" she said before wetting her lips, a horrified look on her face. "You better come downstairs."
I frowned. "You're not doing it right," I whispered. "The mice are suppose – "
"Trust me," Janette said grimly. "No mice will be able to save you from this."
The crease between my eyes furrowed and I followed her down the spiraling stairs to where my stepsisters sat, gaping a short and plump man. My eyes darted around. Where was that prince?
The plump man cleared his throat and unrolled a long scroll. He cleared his throat again, took out his spectacles, and began reading;
"'Greeting, family of this manor. I am here to invite you to the prince's wedding in a fortnight where he will be wed with his love!'" The man glanced at us, his eyebrows raised. "You're supposed to ask to whom."
"But – But – the script never said the prince was supposed to find a bride! He's suppose to find Cinderella!" Janette cried, her eyes going wide.
Understanding dawned on the man's face and he said gently, shooting me a sympathetic look, "Oh, the ratings were going down so the Writer decided to twist things around for her own pleasure and benefit. I think she said something about this fairy tale being too cliché and overused…"
"Well, then, to whom is the prince wedding, if it is not to Cinderella!" Amelia cried, looking deeply troubled, her thin curls flying everywhere.
The man glanced nervously at us women before saying, "The prince is marrying…the prince is to wed…well, see, this is the Writer's idea, so whatever happens is not – "
"WOULD YOU GET ON TO IT?"
He winced at Amelia's shrieking voice before muttering meekly, "The prince is marrying a glass slipper, ladies."
It went so silent that if someone cut one of Amelia's fake curls off, it would have made a loud thumping noise as it hit the ground.
"What?" I asked weakly.
The man nodded sadly. "Yes, milady, he has pronounced his love to your glass slipper and wishes to marry her – what am I saying, it – in a fortnight."
Janette whirled around to look at me, her eyes wild. "We're going to the palace immediately!" she shrieked. "This cannot be! You can't change this fairy tale! It's been this way for years – think of those poor children – "
"Actually, the children absolutely find it hilarious," the plump man interrupted. "Much more interesting than that mushy stuff."
Janette grabbed the man by his collar and said fiercely, "BUT THE SCRIPT SAID – "
The man struggled out of her grip. "Hey, lady, I was just as surprised as you were! I liked the old version too, except this version is actually pretty funny and – WOULD YOU STOP STRANGLING ME, WOMAN?"
Janette let go, breathing heavily. "Sorry," she muttered, her eyes on the floor. "I just loved the old version…and to ruin a classic over ratings!"
The man shrugged. "That's the way the show biz is, lady. So, are you guys going to the palace or what? You can hitch a ride in the carriage with me…"
Janette looked at me, I who had been silent this whole time and not believing it was true.
"Do you want to?" Janette asked me worriedly.
I slowly nodded. "Yes. We have to go see for ourselves.
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The ride had been stony, except when the man had introduced himself as Stanley and told us why he had join the cast. Seems he was low on money and needed some cash. By the end of the trip, however, Janette and Stanley were getting along happily.
Finally, we reached the palace and quickly got out.
"Where's the prince?" Amelia asked as she briskly made her way to the palace, the maddest out of us all. Actually, Linda didn't look too untroubled as she walked with us.
"In the Ballroom, pronouncing his love to the slipper," Stanley immediately responded, smiling at Janette who smiled back and took his hand. His smile grew.
Amelia nodded curtly and made her way to the ballroom, where we had all danced only a few days ago…and when everything had been going according to the script…
Outside the door, we faintly heard someone singing, albeit in a bored tone;
"Oh, my lovely shoe, How I love you! How thy sparkle and shine, How lucky you are mine! I shall love you till my ruling days are over, And even after then, I shall love you more!"
We all glanced at one another in disbelief before Amelia pushed her way forward. There, lying on the floor and staring at the shoe in total boredom, was the prince, his hands holding his head up and looking tired.
When he saw us, he immediately leaped to his feet.
"Finally!" he said in a relieved tone. "I've been having to sing that for days! The Script says I'm supposed to be singing it when you all arrive!" He touched his throat, wincing. "Forgive me if I'm slightly hoarse; I've been singing non-stop."
He laughed. "Can this fairy tale get more out of proportion? Me in love with a slipper?" He laughed again. "And now, I'll be marrying a slipper. Insanity, I tell you, that Writer must be insane to let such a thing happen."
Amelia looked at him piercingly. "How come you got a script that none of us did?"
The prince shrugged. "I think to make it more suspenseful, you know? To have to all believing Cinderella would end up with me but then this sudden twist occur. Who knows the inner workings of the Writer's mind?"
He glanced at me and his expression softened. "Sorry it didn't go out as planned," he said sympathetically before patting my hand. "And I apologize beforehand that you die a tragic death due to loneliness, as well."
My eyes widened. "What? I'm to die a death like that?"
The prince nodded before showing me a script. He flipped through it a few times before finally, at the very end, pointed to a section which we all crammed up to read. When it finished, Janette and Stanley were blushing, Linda was looking pleased, and Amelia looking grudgingly happy.
"How come everyone gets a happy ending but me?" I cried in despair.
The prince shrugged again. "Something about the Writer not liking how ditzy Cinderella was and wanted her to suffer. Oh, and she added a little note here."
He pointed at the edge of the paper where we all read:
MWHAA. Clichés and unoriginal Cinderella tales shall fall under this ingenious story!
Janette sighed. "She is insane." She turned and smiled at Stanley. "But not entirely."
I wrinkled my nose and reread the ending, before a slow smile started. So she hated poor dependent ladies…
The prince and his shoe lived happily ever after, in total bliss. Whatever happened to the rest, you may ask? Well…Janette married Stanley, both being able to support Janette's children and living happily ever after. Amelia got her role as Sleeping Beauty and proved that women are stronger than men when she awoke herself from the sleep. She married Philip and lived happily ever after with him. Linda married a kind and gentle man from a far away land, where she had a personal library and read every day.
Cinderella (whose true name is uncertain)…well, once she heard how the ending ended, she decided to quit and left. She hasn't taken up acting again, despite the many offers after her debut in this story. She did good for herself, however; she got married, had kids, and made sure her kids never, ever, were helpless or defenseless.
Just like the Cinderella we all hate and loathe.
The End.
A/N: I didn't like how I wrapped up the ending. It just didn't seem...well, good. Hope you liked it, though!
Please review!