How could I be so stupid?
by LiltingBanshee
Author´s note: hope you´ll enjoy this, just a bit of seriousness and fluff:)
Twinkle22: Thanks, I had a great time:) they will have nice moments with their little girl (who has been named;))
you´llbemyangel: thanks:) you´ll see:)
phantomann: glad you liked:) I don´t hope so either, ydr:)
tink20: thanks, I know what you mean:) Giselle is horrible:)
"Alana would you please stop, I can´t take it anymore!" Christine cried as her own tears mingled with her daughter´s frantic cries. Seconds later Camille entered the room in her nightgown.
"Christine it´s 3.am and the child has been crying for 45 minutes! Half of this house is going to university tomorrow, you have to do something!" Camille sighed.
"But what Camille? I´ve fed her, I´ve changed her, I´ve been singing to her, I´ve threatened her! I can´t handle this, I´m a horrible mother!" Christine cried as she slumped down on the bed and sobbed while rocking the screaming baby.
"Oh Christine there´s no need to panic. You´re a great mother to her. All babies do this, you´re not doing anything wrong" Camille comforted her and gently took the wailing child from her arms. She started walking around the room with her like Christine had done for nearly an hour and in a couple of minutes Alana began to calm down.
Camille turned to Christine. "There you see dear, they have a will of their own, they..." Camille stopped and smiled. Christine wasn´t listening, she was sound asleep on the bed. Camille gently placed Alana in her crib and tucked the covers over Christine. "Sleep now child, you deserve it" she whispered before returning to her own bed.
A week later Christine was sitting in the kitchen. The dark circles under her eyes clearly revealed that Alana´s sleeping habbits hadn´t changed much.
Camille placed a cup of tea infront of her and sat down on the opposite chair.
"Christine there are some things we have to talk about, I´m afraid Alana´s crying is disturbing the other tenants" Camille said.
"I know Camille. I´m really sorry. I´ve tried everything the books say, but she still cries in the middle of the night" Christine sighed.
"Usually the crying will stop after a few months, but that is too long if it means that half of the students will move out. We will have to work something out" Camille said gently.
"I really should be moving out, but even with the money Erik gives me I wouldn´t be able to afford my own place. And I wouldn´t be able to get a job because no one would be there to look after Alana. Even as things are now I really should get a job. Everything is so expensive and I will not ask Erik for more money" Christine said in an upgiving voice.
"Now child, I wasn´t talking about anything as drastic as having you moving out. I have been considering things and I have a suggestion for you. There is a room close to my own which is slightly bigger than the one you´re in now. It´s also futher away from the other rooms so no one would be disturbed by Alana. I want you to move into that room. Seeing as I´m getting older I will offer to reduce your current rent if you would agree to help out with some of the daily work like cleaning and things. Should you still need money I would be happy to look after Alana for you while you´re working. What do you think about that?" Camille asked.
Christine surprised the older woman by throwing her arms around her neck in a tight hug. "Oh Camille thank you so much! That would be wonderful!" she exclaimed.
Camille smiled and padded the young girl´s back. "I´m only happy to help you dearest" she said.
Christine sat back down and looked at Camille. "You have done so much for me. Why are you doing this for a stranger?" she asked carefully.
Camille rose from her chair and went over to open a little drawer. She came back and handed Christine something. A photo. Christine looked at it. A beautiful young girl with red hair and green eyes smiled back at her.
"My daughter Josefine" Camille said. "20 years ago she came to me and told me she was expecting a baby. She was 16 years old."
Christine looked up at Camille. "She looks very sweet. Is she living close by?" she asked.
Camille shook her head. "I got very upset with her. Her father left us when she was 7 and I had worked hard to raise her. She was an uncontrolable teenager and the thought of her having a child just pushed me over the edge. We had an awful fight and she said she would run away with her boyfriend. She stormed out of the house telling me that she hated me" Camille stopped trying to control her tears. "The phonecall came early in the morning. Their car had crashedon the highway and my Josefine was killed instantly. I never got to tell her that I was wrong and that I would always love her no matter what she did" Camille wept.
Christine got up and embraced the older woman. "I´m sure she knows Camille. She has been watching you all these years and she knows you love her" she soothed.
"When you came here I felt like I had been given a second chance. If I helped you maybe God would forgive me for driving my own child to her death" Camille sniffed. "In the beginning it was mostly for my own benefit, but as I came to know you I began to care for you for the person you are Christine".
"The room...?" Christine asked carefully.
"Is Josefine´s old room, but you´re not a substitute for her. You´re a unique young woman whom I will help as much as I can if you´ll let me" Camille finished.
Christine felt teary-eyed herself. "I can never thank you enough for all your help Camille. Don´t worry, God will have forgiven you by now" she whispered.
"You must do me one favour Christine" Camille said.
"Yes anything" Christine answered.
"You must contact your parents. They may have acted wrong, but don´t let them make the mistake I made" she said and looked Christine firmly in the eyes.
"I will Camille. I will write them" she promised.
My dear Christine.
I can not tell you how pleased we were to recieve your letter. Your mother has not been her happy self since the day you left and I miss you so terribly much my little princess.
We now realize what a horrible mistake we made in trying to force you to give up the child. The pictures you sent of baby Alana are absolutely gorgeous and we are proud that she is our granddaughter.
You are a young woman of 18 years now and we know you are legally able to make your own decisions now – though you have already proven to be capeable of doing do.
We have nothing to say in the decisions you make, but we hope that you do not hate us as much as you have every right to. Christine I have always been a hard man, but I am doing something now that I have never done before. I am begging. I am begging you to come home and visit. If you would like to stay for good you are very welcome to do so, but a visit is all we ask for.
No matter what you decide to do please know that we love you and Alana very much.
Sincere love
Your parents
Marie & Charles.
"So are you going to see them?" Erik asked and handed the letter back to her.
"Yes. I want to see them and Alana is nearly 5 months old, it´s time I have a talk with them" Christine said.
"Would you consider staying there permanently?" Erik asked and looked down at the blanket they were sitting on.
Christine threw one of Alana´s biting toys at him and grinned. "And miss these twice-a-month outings to your home when your precious fiancé is out of town visiting Mum and Dad? No Erik."
He leaned in and kissed her, careful not to crush Alana who was feeding happily from her mother´s breast. "I love you and I hope you have a great time with your parents. Just please come back to me at some time" he said in between kisses.
"I will" she said with a smile and handed Alana to him. "Here you can burb her, I need to go to the bathroom"she said and got up.
As she made her way back to the livingroom Erik called out to her. "Christine love, could you bring a cloth from the kitchen please?"
"What for?" she asked as she entered the room and then burst out laughing. "Erik what did I tell you about bouncing her on your knee when she has just been fed?"
"Just get the damn cloth will you!" he snorted with laughter.
When he had cleaned himself and their daughter off they sat in a comfortable silence watching the little girl rolling around on the blanket playing with her toys.
"So, when are you leaving?" Erik asked after a while.
"In a few days or so. It´s a good time seeing as most of the students are still off on their christmas holidays so Camille won´t have too much work to deal with" she said.
"I actually wondered why you hadn´t just gone back and spent christmas with your parents since you had anyway decided to go home" he said and nuzzled her neck.
"No that would have been too weird. Besides I really wanted to spend christmas with Camille. It´s still going to be strange seeing them again" she sighed enjoying his caress.
"Have you told them about our somewhat complicated family situation?" Erik asked with care.
"Yeah I did mention it in my letter, but I need to explain it completely when I see them. I hate to tell you this Erik, but you´re probably not going to be Mr. Popular in my family" she said and entwined her fingers with his.
"I kind of figured that out. I´m going to make it up to you one day Christine" he said softly.
"Don´t make promises you can´t keep" she said with a slight frown.
Erik was surprised by her sudden change of mood. "Don´t you believe me?" he asked.
"I´m not saying I don´t believe you. It´s just...none of us know what will happen in the future and I don´t want to get my hopes up in case they can´t be fulfilled"she said and got up from the floor.
Erik stared at her as she began to put Alana´s toys into a bag. He reached his hands out and grabbed her wrists to still her actions. She stopped, but kept her eyes fixed on the floor and he knew she was trying to hide her tears from him. He moved closer to her and pulled her into his lap craddling her in his arms.
"I don´t want to fight about this. I know things are tough and you´re working hard to take of our little angel. I´m very proud of you and you know how desperately I wish things were different too. I´m trying Christine, I really am. We´re constantly applying for new sponsors, but people sit very hard on their money these days. Just don´t ever think I´ll stop fighting for us" he whispered as he rocked her gently.
"I know. I don´t want to fight either" she sniffed and brought her lips up to kiss him deeply. "Take us home?" she asked as they broke apart.
"Of course" he said and kissed her nose.
"Are you sure you don´t want me help you carry the stuff inside? You don´t want to wake Alana" he asked as he put the car to stop infront of her place.
"No I´ll manage" she said with a smile. She leaned over and kissed him. "I know you can´t take us to the airport in case anyone sees us or anything, but please come and see me before we leave" she said.
"Nothing can keep me away" he smiled.
As she reached the frontdoor he rolled the car window down.
"Christine" he called.
"Yeah?" she looked at him.
"I love you"
"I love you too" she smiled widely before letting herself into the house.
A/N: Alana means "darling" and I think it suits the girl perfectly:)