How could I be so stupid?
by LiltingBanshee
Author´s note: I know you´re probably all going to really hate me for this chapter,
but please have faith in me. I plan on making things right eventually:)
Phantomann: hope you´re enjoying your vacation:) There is a spine in the making for
my Erik, it´s just not quite ready yet. Yeah he kind of lives with Giselle, as for
the sleeping together part you´ll see in this chap. Raoul´s reappearance...I don´t
know yet, he might...:)
Tink20: thank you, yeah they couldn´t stay mad at her forever:)
Twinkle22: here´s an update for you. I agree with you on the Giselle thing...working
on it;)
You´llbemyangel: here you are, glad you like the name:)
Erik´sphantomess: Thanks for your review, that´s definitely a way to look at it:)
Phantomlover22: Thank you very much:)
Gottogirl: yeah I decided to go easy on you, but that ends now;) Alana is often sort
of "translated" to leanbh which means child in Irish. A popular interpretation of
that is "darling" or "darling child":)
Wandering-Phantom: I agree:) I wish it would be that easy for him...
"So how´s it going with Mum and Dad?" Meg asked and put her coffee cup down.
"It´s going ok" Christine said with a smile. "Once we got through all the hugs,
kisses and I´m- sorrys it´s actually quite alright".
"And I´m sure they´re absolutely besotted with her" Meg smiled and gestured at 10
months old Alana who slept peacefully in her buggy.
"Of course. Mum is already talking about singing lessons and everythingand with the lung power she
posesses I´m sure she´ll be great" Christine said.
"I think you´re right" Meg grinned remembering the scream Alana had broken into
earlier when Christine had refused her a second cookie.
"It´s really good to see you Chris! Honestly, if you had told me earlier that you
were coming home after christmas I wouldn´t have gone skiing" Meg said.
"I know, but everything went so fast. It took me months to gather the courage to
write my parents andonce I got their positive reply I just couldn´t get here fast
enough. Your mother told me how sad you would be, but we have all summer now"Christine said and squeezed her friend´s hand.
"I can´t believe you´re staying the whole summer. Won´t Erik mind terribly?" Meg asked.
"Yes of course. He said he´d miss us a lot, but he´ll be busy playing the doting
fiancé at numerous parties if I know Giselle right" Christine said with a false smile.
"What do your parents think of the situation" Meg asked carefully.
"Well, my Dad is ready to kill Erik and my mother is still morning the fact that mRaoul and I won´t get back together" Christine sighed.
"Christine really, you´re the mother of his child and you gave up college to take care of the baby. He says he loves you so what is his problem" Meg said with sudden irritation.
"Well Giselle..." Christine tried.
"Oh would you shut up about Giselle! Does her love her? No! Does she have him where she wants him? Yes! But there are things to be done Christine! Tell Erik to find another job. If he´s not with the Paris Opera Giselle´s father could not hurt him bym withdrawing his support" Meg said angrily.
"But he would anyway Meg! He would do it and blame Erik for everything! Erik is a good man, he cares for those people, he won´t hurt them!" Christine said with equally rising anger in her voice.
"He cares Christine? He won´t hurt them? Fine, but it´s ok for him to hurt you? To break your heart over and over again? Look at her!" Meg pointed at the sleeping Alana. "She´s the sweetest most beautiful child in the world! She deserves her father! She may not care now, but when she gets older it´s going to be hard! Don´t you remember Chris? 'Megan has no Daddy!' How many kids did you hit for saying that at school? What will you do when it´s 'Alana has no Daddy!'? You can´t hit the kids now Christine!" Meg asked.
Christine had angry tears in her eyes. "It won´t be like that! He says we´ll work it out!" she defended herself.
Meg´s eyes softened and her anger slowly vanished. "Christine she´s almost a year old and nothing has changed. You can´t let it go on. What will happen when Giselle decides to tighten the leash? She´s not as young as you Chris. Soon she´ll want marriage and children. Will Erik say no to her then?" she said softly.
"He´s not sleeping with her. There will be no children" Christine sniffed.
"But what about the marriage?" Meg asked.
"I don´t know. I don´t think I could handle that" Christine whispered.
"So tell him Christine. I know Erik. I have known him since I was 3 years old. Though I have always been a little scared of him I know he´s of a good nature. His geniousness in music have made him respected, but few people have treated him good for the right reasons. Strangely enough he seems to care for others though. What you´re telling about his devotion to the opera proves that to me, but if he sacrifices himself and your life on that account it´s not ok" Meg smiled sadly at her best friend. "You have changed so much Christine. Do you remeber the day in my bathroom when you found out about Alana? You were just a child who was going to have a child of your own. Now you sit before me little more than a year later as mother and a strongyoung woman. I admire you Christine! But I will be damned if I see you ruin yourself because of Erik."
Christine smiled through her tears. "I love you Meg, I really do. No one has ever been more like a sister to me than you have. I promise you I won´t let this tear me apart" she said weakly.
"I´m glad Chris and I love you too" Meg smiled. "Can I ask something else of you?" she said.
Christine nodded.
"If he ever decides to marry her will you promise me to move back here?" she asked.
Christine hesitated.
"I know what I´m asking of you Chris and I know you´d want to be close to him, but if he´s married you need some space" Meg pushed.
"Ok Meg. If he marries Giselle I will come back here" she said reluctantly.
"Thank you" Meg smiled and then noticed Alana beginning to wake up. Quickly she put her hands over her ears. "Here we go" she grinned as the little girl began to whimper.
Christine was sitting on her bed with Alana happily between her legs playing with a doll.
"She smeared the cake all over herself, but she enjoyed it. And I have to say your present is very popular" she said pressing the reciever closer to her ear attempting to feel as close to him as he could.
"I so wish I could have been there. Let me talk to her for a second" Erik said with a lump in his throat.
Christine put the reciever to Alana´s ear and she could hear Erik speaking affectionally to her. The little girl listened for a second and then broke out in a full smile followed by a happy squeal. Christine could hear Erik laugh and she really longed for him at that moment. After a second she made Alana say goodnight and continued her own conversation with Erik.
"She´s waving at you and giving sloppy kisses to the doll" she grinned.
No response.
"Erik, are you still there?" she asked
Still nothing.
"Erik are you crying?"
"I miss you so much Christine. You and our little girl" he wept.
"Oh Erik, don´t do this! You´ll make me cry as well. We´re coming home in 5 days, please" she choked.
"I´ll be there to pick you up my love. I really will" he sniffed.
"But Erik..." Christine tried.
"I don´t care Christine. Giselle from Hell is in Saint Tropez with some friends for the week. I don´t care if anyone sees" he said.
"Thank you Erik. I´ve got to go now. Alana needs to be changed. I´ll call you about the flight details in a few days" she said and hastily said her goodbye. As she put down the phone she broke down in tears and Alana stared curiously at her.
"I know baby, Mummy isacting strange. Listen to me my darling, I want you to fall in love when you get older, but please make sure he is free to love you with no string attached" she sobbed.
She felt her knees go weak as he enveloped her in his arms. She breathed in his scent and longed to feel his lips upon her own, but she knew it wouldn´t happen in the airport. Alana fussed in her buggy and Erik picked her up in a crushing hug.
Hoisting his daughter up on his hip and putting his arm around Christine´s shoulders he let them to his car.
A blissful month went by, Christine and Alana spent a couple of happy afternoons in Erik´s apartment and sometimes they 'accidently' met in the parks. But one day mthings took a little turn.
Christine had just left Erik´s place and was walking out on the street with Alana when she passed Giselle. 'God that was close'she thought as she pretended to be busy with something in her bag.
"Hey, I know you!" came a sweet voice.
Christine looked up and attempted a smile at the blonde standing before her.
"Ehhh I don´t think so" she said nervously.
"Yes, I met you once at the opera house when you were talking to my fiancé. You must have been one of his students" Giselle said with a big smile. "Oh is that you little sister? She´s so cute!" Giselle squealed and bent down to greet Alana.
The girl took one look at her and begin to cry in a heartbreaking manner.
"She must be tired, I´ve got to go" Christine said and quickly excused herself. "At least you have great taste my darling girl" she grinned as she rounded the corner.
Giselle looked after her. She was sure this girl was the one she had seen Erik with last year. Strange girl, she had been so rude that day and had left nearly before Giselle had had the chance to say hello. And Erik had almost run after her! He was of course devoted to the people at the opera, but to run after a silly teenage girl!
His devotion. That was the sole reason he was with her. She hated reminding herself about that. That stupid man. Here she had cared for him and stayed with him despite his hideous face and he didn´t return her kindness! What had he done – he had gone out and impregnated some girl. She was glad her father has given Erik that ultimatum. Giselle Bertrand was not the sort of girl a man just dumped because he had a child with someone else!
A child...Giselle looked in the direction where the curly haired teenager had disappeared. Could it be? No even Erik wouldn´t be stupid enough to do that! But it seemed strange to met this young girl with a child so close to Erik´s home...Maybe they needed a little talk...
Erik was very distant that Sunday afternoon and Christine was beginning to worry.
"Erik is something bothering you? You seem to be somewhere else today" she asked gently.
"No, I´m fine. Just busy at the moment" he snapped and Christine felt slightly hurt.
"Fine, I can just leave if you need to work" she said and jumped off the kitchen counter where she had been sitting.
He stopped buttering the sandwiches he had been making for them and drew in a shaky breath. "Christine did you run into Giselle outside my door last week?" he asked.
Christine´s heart sank. "It was on the street. I pretended not to see her, but I think she recognised me from that day in the opera house. Are you in trouble?" she nearly whispered.
"We´re beyond trouble..." he mumbled, but she heard him.
"Erik...?" she asked.
"She has changed the rules for our little game" he said with a sigh.
"What do you mean?" Christine was confused.
"She has new demands..." He trailed off.
"Erik what are you talking about?" she said desperately.
He turned to her and his eyes were filled with tears. "Marriage Christine. I´m talking about marriage."