How could I be so stupid?

by LiltingBanshee

Author´s note: again I must apologize for the long wait, I hope the long chapter makes up for it:)

you´llbemyangel: couldn´t agree more:) hope you like this

Abby Kovac: Thank you:) No, but he will probably have to...

Wandering-Phantom: I know! They will, he´s not done fighting yet:)

Twinkle22: sorry for keeping you waiting! Hope you will find this to your liking:)

MOON: Thanks:)

darkangel: well, I ran into the name Destler in several fics and as I began using it in my own stories it was explained to me by some kind reviewers that it comes from an older movie production of POTO. Glad you like the story:)

phantomlover22: I know...

starlight63: thank you, here´s some more:)

trisana: they probably really don´t know what to do...No, I think her mother is done trying to make dicisions for her...:)

"Camille I´m really sorry about this, you´ve done so much for me and now I just stick my tail betweeen my legs and run away" Christine sighed with tears in her eyes.

"No Christine, I will not hear anymore I´m – sorrys from you. If you hadn´t decided to go for yourself I would have sent you home. You should not be anywhere near this city with the way he has treated you" Camille huffed.

At the mention of Erik Christine lost it and broke down in tears. "Why is he doing this to me? I´m so mad at him, but I still love him! I don´t understand why I have to go through this!" she cried.

Camille squeezed her shoulders gently and tried to comfort her. "I can´t explain it to you dear, I can only say that Erik is a foolish man to let you down again. I hope he will one day come to his senses, but for now you should concentrate on what is good for you and Alana. Going back to England seems like the best idea for now" she said.

Christine sniffed. "But what about you? I´m leaving you with an awful lot of work."

"Oh, don´t worry about that Christine. Melanie, the young art student has agreed to take over your chores. Just promise me to keep me up to date on how you and the little angel are doing. And come to visit whenever you feel like it" Camille smiled.

"Thank you Camille. For everything" Christine said and hugged her.

Both her parents greeted her at the airport and Christine managed to smile even though she most of all felt like crying. Her father handled all her bags and her mother offered to take Alana, but Christine declined. As they walked to the car she clung tightly to her little girl. 'She is all I have of him now' she thought to herself and planted a kiss in her daughter´s jet black curls.

"Holy shit, I never thought it would really come to this" Meg said as she sat on the floor in Christine´s room, trying to teach Alana to do a baby puzzle.

"Neither did I" Christine said looking up from the instructions on how to assemble Alana´s new bed.

"At least you´ll be home for Christmas this year, that´ll be good"Meg tried.

"Yup, that´ll be awesome" Christine said with great sarcasm, but soon regretted. "I´m sorry Meg, I´m probably not the best company right now" she apologized.

"It´s ok Chris, I understand you. I know you´ll be sad for some time, but please try not to turn into a really bitter young woman. You were always so cheerful" Meg smiled.

"I´ll try Meg" Christine said, still working away on the bed.

"We should go Christmas shopping and – No Alana! That´s where the cow goes, not the chicken!" Meg suddenly exclaimed. "God she´s stupid Christine!"

Christine burst out laughing at the impatient look on Meg´s face. "Meg she´s 15 months old! What do you expect?" she grinned.

"But it´s obvious that the chicken would never fit into the cow´s position!" Meg said.

"Says the girl who tried to stuff the triangular shaped block into the square shaped hole at age 4!" Christine snorted and went to pick up Alana.

She planted kisses all over the little girl´s cheek. "Don´t mind Auntie Meg my clever little babe, she wouldn´t know the difference between a cow and a chicken if it jumped up and bit her ass" she said affectionally.

"Thanks alot!" Meg grinned. "How´s her bed coming along?"

Christine turned and looked at her work. "Well, if it falls apart during her sleep then I´ll ask my father for help" she said. "Come, let´s make some tea."

"Erik, would you look at these flower decorations?" Giselle´s highpitched voice made him sigh.

"I really don´t care! Just pick whatever you like!" he said angrily.

"Erik, I´m really tired of you not taking any interest in the planning of your own wedding!" Giselle said impatiently.

"This is your wedding Giselle, I´m just playing along" he snapped.

"I know what you´re thinking about Erik, but you can stop sulking now! My father has never denied me anything and neither will he deny me the status that being married to you will give me! I know you have someone else, though you have always refused to tell me who she is. I will not tolerate my husband cheating on me so you can forget about that little slut! The sooner the better"" Giselle hissed.

She felt the air being knocked out of her as he slammed her up against the wall.

"You will never, and I repeat NEVER speak that way of my true love ever again! Do you understand me?" his masked face was so close to hers that she could almost feel the fire in his eyes and she was genuineally scared.

"I...I understand..."she whispered. "Please let go Erik, you´re hurting me..."

"If I was really intending to hurt you, you wouldn´t be breathing now!" he hissed and released her. She heard the door to his music room slam and she then sat down in a chair to catch her breath. She felt tears sting in her eyes, but she kept them at bay. This was like all those years ago when that stupid brat Josephine Etienne had lashed out at her in the schoolyard when she had teased her about her father leaving her mother. Josephine had painfully scratched Giselle´s cheek, but she had kept a brave face then and she would do so now. She wouldn´t let people´s anger get her down.
Taking a few deep breaths she stood up, smoothed her skirt and went to pick out a flower decoration.

Meg was deeply absorbed in her book, when she felt someone deliver a soft swat to the back of her head. She looked up angrily to verbally assult the jerk and saw Raoul´s grinning face.

"Hey Giry, interesting romance novel?" he asked with a smile.

"Hey yourself, dumbass! And it´s not a romance novel" Meg mumbled with irritation.

"No? Really, let me see" he said and took the book from her. "Megan Giry! Economics? What´s gone into you? You´re in performance college!" he said with surprise.

"I know, but I´m thinking of taking some extra classes next year" she said.

"In economics? But Meg...you´re stupid!" he laughed.

Meg glared at him. "That´s what Christine accused of being the other day as well when I was at her house! Really, I do have a brain!" she said angrily.

"Christine is home?" Raoul asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, she has kind of moved back..." Meg sighed.

"Why?" Raoul asked confused.

"Erik is getting married" Meg said and winced as she saw Raoul´s face change.

"That son of a bitch! Who does he think he is playing around with her like that? God, I´d like to tell him to his face what I think of him!" Raoul exclaimed.

"I don´t think Christine would like that. She still loves him..." Meg said carefully.

"How can she still love him? He´s breaking her heart again and again!" Raoul was really upset.

"He is also Alana´s father Raoul. She loves that girl beyond anything and she will never hate Erik because he has given her her daughter" Meg said and put her hand on his arm in an attempt to calm him down.

"I know, it just kills me to see her get hurt again. I will go see her in a few days" he said with a little smile.

"She´d like that" Meg said and returned his smile.

Their little moment of silence was broken by another voice. "Raoul are you coming? It´s freezing here!"

Both looked up and Meg raised an eyebrow at the brunette infront of her.

"Yeah, I´m coming" Raoul said and got up. "By the way Elise this is Meg Giry, an old friend of mine. Meg, this is Elise Reilly she´s in my family-law class". The two girls politely shook hands and then Elise turned her attention to Raoul again.

"Come on, I´m really cold" she said.

As they walked away Raoul suddenly turned around. "Hey Meg, I think it´s a great idea with your new line of study. Good luck!" he called out with a smile.

"Thanks!" Meg called back and felt a funny warmth spread in her body.

It was two days before Christmas, the doorbell rang and Marie went to answer it.

"Raoul!" she exclaimed happily at the sight of the young man on her doorstep. "It´s so good to see you! You have grown so much since I last saw you. Please come in" she said and moved aside.

"Thank you Mrs. Daáe. I heard Christine is back home. Is she in?" Raoul asked as he stepped into the hallway.

"Oh yes, she´s in her room, go on up" Marie said and took his coat. "But a word of advice my dear, be careful if speaking of you-know-who, you wouldn´t want her to bite your head off like she does to everyone else around here" she warned.

"I´ll remember that" he smiled gratefully.

"Christine?" he asked as he carefully opened the door to her room when she didn´t answer his knock.

"Oh, hi Raoul. Sorry I didn´t answer, I thought it was my Mum again" Christine sighed and put the book down she had been reading. Alana squealed from her bed at the sight of him and he went to her.

"Hi there little princess. How´s my big girl doing?" he said and picked her up. "Wow, she´s heavy now Christine" he smiled.

Christine shrugged and offered a halfhearted smile. "Yeah, she´s growing fast".

Seconds later Marie came into the room. "Here, let me take her downstairs so you two can talk. Would you like anything? Tea, coffee?" she asked.

Christine shook her head and Raoul smiled. "No, thank you Marie. We´ll be fine".

"Ok, then. I´ll leave you to it" she winked knowingly at Christine before leaving the room, but Christine just rolled her eyes.

"It´s really nice of you to come by" Christine said and sat up against the pillows in her bed instead of just sprawling on then like she had been minutes before.

"I just wanted to drop these off, a little something for mother and daughter" Raoul said and produced two beautifully wrapped presents.

"Oh Raoul, you shouldn´t have" Christine whined.

"I know, but I wanted to" he said. "So how are you doing?"

"Fine. Christmas is coming up, Alana is doing great and Mum and Dad are so happy we´re here. I can´t complain" she smiled.

Raoul grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. "How are you really doing Christine?" he asked firmly.

She looked down at their hands and a few seconds later he noticed her shoulders trembling as she cried. He moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Shhh, Christine I know. Just let it out" he soothed.

"Why Raoul? Why can´t my life just be easy? Why isn´t he marrying me?" she cried.

"Because he´s a fool Christine. Are you sure this guy is not under some spell?" he asked trying to cheer her up.

"I wouldn´t be surprised if he was, he is after all marrying a bloody witch!" she hiccuped.

She raised her tearstained face to him and they shared a little laugh. He planted a gentle kiss on her lips "I love you Christine, like any brother would love a sister and I hate to see you hurt. Just let me know if you want me to kick his ass" he offered.

She smiled. "Thanks, but I don´t think that´ll be neccesary. He´ll get his punishment by living with Giselle."

"So what will you do now that you´re back here?" Raoul asked.

"You mean apart from lying here feeling sorry for myself? I don´t know" she shrugged.

"Well, I thought so. That´s why I brought you these" he said and got some heavy brochures out of his bag.

"College brochures? Get lost Raoul!" she said trying to hide her interest.

"Why not Christine? It´s never too late.." he tried.

"I have a child Raoul..." she said stating the obvious.

"Whom I´m sure your mother would only be happy to look after while you´re at class" he said. "Come on Christine. I know you lost you scholarship when you got pregnant, but the fees at the Music Academy aren´t too bad" he knew this was really tempting her.

"I haven´t sung or played since Alana was born..." she mumbled.

"But you have since before you could walk. A couple of years won´t make you forget everything. I´m not trying to push you Chris, I´m just saying the possibility is there" he smiled.

"Maybe I´ll look at it later" she said and he knew by the look in her eyes that she would. She suddenly hugged him and took him completely by surprise. "Thank you Raoul, thank you for not holding any of my foolish actions against me and thank you for being my friend" she said honestly.

"Always Christine. I meant what I said, I do love you, but I think I´m in love with someone else" he said carefully.

"Yeah, Meg told me about Elise. I´ll have to meet her to see if I approve" she grinned.

"Ehhh, I´m not talking about Elise, she´s only friends with me to get a change with Gerard, my room mate" he smiled.

"Really? Then who?" Christine was curious now.

Raoul looked at her seriously. "Do you think there is any chance that Meg would ever go out with me?" he asked.

Christine stared at him. "Meg? Our Meg? Meg Giry?"

"How many Meg´s do we know?" he said annoyed.

"Sorry Raoul, I just can´t picture you and Meg together, you´re always picking on each other" she laughed.

"I know! That´s the problem! I can never think of anything clever to say, I alway just tease he" he looked really miserable and Christine felt bad.

"I think you should ask her, you might be surprised" she said and kissed his cheek. "She´d be lucky to have you."

"Thanks Chris, I´ll try" he said.

"Christine, there´s a letter for you" Marie said and handed her the white envelope.

Christine stopped feeding Alana and accepted the letter. She looked at her mother. "Will you finish feeding her? I´ll open this in my room."

"Sure darling, go on" Marie said and sat down next to her granddaughter.

Christine carefully pulled out the letter.

Hello my darling girl.
Thank you so much for the lovely Christmas card, both you and little Alana looked absolutely wonderful in the pictures.
Christmas here was quiet as you know it with all the students being with their families, but I went to a good restaurant with an old friend so I wasn´t too lonely.
My dear, I have enclosed another envelope with my letter. I debated for a long time wheter I should send it to you or not, which is why I in the end put it in a seperate envelope. It contains a Christmas card and presents from Erik that he sent here. Maybe he was too afraid to send it to your home, I don´t know. It also includes a press cutting about a certain event. I know it will upset you my dear, but try to stay positive. You are such a clever and lovely person, you will make it through!
Please give my love to your parents and keep in touch, I love you my dear.

Your friend
Camille

Christine felt tears burn in her eyes, she really missed Camille. She knew what was in that envelope and Camille was so considerate to let her make her own decision on reading it or not.
Slowly she opened the envelope and took out the card.

My darling love Christine and my beloved daughter.
I will not go into another line of apologies and excuses, you know how many tears I cry because of this situation.
I wish you both a Merry Christsmas and I wish with all my heart that I could be there to hold and kiss you both.
Alana, be good to your mother she deserves nothing else. Remember your father loves you dearly.
Christine my one and only love, you are in my thoughts and heart every day. I will never forgive myself for hurting you and I will always be with you wheter you want it or not. You are the brave mother of my child and the only woman I will ever love.

All my love
Erik

P.S. I am sending along small presents for you both, it´s up to you if you will accept them.

Christine looked into the envelope, and right there were two little parcels. One saying Alana and one saying Christine. She carefully opened Alana´s first.
A little silver locket. Inside was two pictures, one of herself and one of Erik.
Her fingers trembled as she opened her own. It was a silver necklace. The little pendant that hung on it was a C, an A and an E melted together.

With tears streaming down her cheek she looked into the envelope again to pick out the last thing. She unfolded the paper a read.

Every V.I.P of Paris were gathered this weekend to celebrate the wedding of the year between highly praised opera composer Erik Destler and Giselle Bertrand, daughter of well respected business man and great opera supporter MauriceBertrand.
After many years of engagement the couple finally tied the knot and family and friends joined in their happiness.
Mr. Destler was as always in a humble mood, but isn´t that why we love this genious man?
The party went on until the early morning hours where the happy couple left the celebrations to begin their honeymoon in a romantic secret place.

Christine crumbled the paper and collapsed on her bed in a heap of tears. Several minutes later she was all cried out and lay hiccuping on the bed. She sat up and fastened the necklace around her neck and hid it beneath the collar of her shirt.
She picked up the crumbled piece of paper and put it in a drawer. "You have made you choice Erik, now I will start to make my choices" she whispered to the empty room before moving downstairs to pick Alana up for her bath.