How could I be so stupid?

by LiltingBanshee

Author´s note: I´m really sorry for doing that to you, but I hope this chapter will calm you all a little. Everything is not working out yet, but I think Christine needed a little break.
A realize there might have been some confusion about who sent the paper cutting to Christine, please see my note to Abby Kovac for an explanation:)

PS: please forgive me for any mistakes, I didn´t have time to read it through, I´ll repost if it´s too bad:)

Twinkle22: Sorry for doing that to you:) here´s a fast update with a little fluff that I hope you´ll enjoy:)
BTW thanks for reviewing the last chapter of "The Reason":)

Abby Kovac: I´m so sorry for not making it clear that it was Camille who sent the cutting to Christine. That´s why she debated wheter to send it or not. She just enclosed it in the same envelope as Erik´s letter. Hope you anger for him has softened a little:)
I agree with you on the Buquet issue. If you´re of that opinion I think you´d like my latest story "The Reason":)
I have read M A S K and I´m eagerly awaiting your next update (HINT) I know what you´re talking about regarding writers block. Luckily I´ve been able to get through it so far.
If you need help in any way I´d be happy to offer some support in any way, just let me know:)

You´llbemyangel: yeah, she has to take care of herself now, but I plan on making things work out:) I will look for that song:)

Wandering-Phantom: sorry, but he is...

PhantomLover05: Please, don´t be dead yet! Here´s the update.

Tink20: I know, but here´s a little break for her:)

ItsAdangerousGame: As you wish:)

GoldenLyre: sorry, please don´t hurt me! I´m trying:)

Phantomann: I promise I´ll fix it:)
BTW thanx for your review on "The Reason":)

Chaos Theory: thanx, hope this is quick enough:)

Gorrogirl: Thanks:) I looked over the old review, Destler comes from a version with Robert Englund, haven´t seen it though...

Lady Skywalker: Sorry, things took a little turn, please don´t kill me – well, if you do you won´t know how it turns out (wicked grin) Anyway don´t want to be responsible for you loosing your mind so here you go:)

Christine finished reading the story, but Alana just stared back at her from her bed without the slightest hint of being sleepy.

"Come on darling, we agreed you should go to sleep when the story ended" Christine said.

"Why?" the little girl looked at her with her big brown innocent eyes and Christine couldn´t help but smile.

"Because it´s late sweety and Mummy have to get up early" she explained.

"Why?" Alana asked again.

"Mummy have to go to school. You know that and you have to spend a nice day with Grandma like you always do" Christine said and stroked the little girl´s cheek. Alana seemed to contemplate her mother´s words and then drew in a satisfied breath.

"Give me a goodnight kiss" Christine said and Alana turned her lips up so her mother could plant a kiss on them.
Happily she then stuffed her thumb into her mouth and Christine got up to leave. When she was nearly at the door Alana began to fuss.

"Mummy, say night" she whimpered.

"But sweety we just said goodnight, you have to sleep now" she said.

"NO! Say night!" Alana wailed and Christine realized what she meant. She walked over to the night stand and grapped the picture frame.

"Sorry love, Mummy forgot. Here, say goodnight to Daddy" Alana kissed the picture and then settled happily under the covers. Christine put the frame back on the table and sighed.

'She needs you Erik, and so do I. Why does it have to be like this?' she thought.

5 months. That was how long she had been back home. In all these months she had only talked to him a couple of times.
Back in Paris when he had told her he was getting married she had screamed at him to stay away from her. When she had calmed down they had managed to have a desent conversation and she had explained to him that with the new developement in their relationship she was going to need some space. He had accepted that and they hadn´t spoken until after Christmas when Christine had called and thanked him for the presents he had sent them. That and most of the conversations they had had since ended with either one or both of them being in tears.
It was still an open wound in Chistine´s heart and it sometimes scared her that she could feel such love for another person. Well, in fact she felt such love for two people, but in different ways.
Her love for Erik made her knees weaken and her stomach flutter. The desperation of not being able to be close to him nearly killed her.
Her love for Alana was just as strong, but different. She was a part of her and Erik, a little miracle they had created with their love. She loved the girl unconditionally. That was also why she made a point out of Alana knowing her father. She would never allow Erik to be a stranger to his child!

Knowing that Alana was already lost in her dreams she left the room to go down and join her parents for a cup of tea.
She would also have to prepare for her classes tomorrow. She couldn´t believe she had been so easily accepted into the Music Academy, but it had really helped to lighten her mood.
As she made it down the stairs the phone rang.

"I´ll get it!" she called to her parents, careful not to wake Alana.

"Hello" she answered.

"Oh thank God it´s you! I feared it might be your Dad!" a voice said.

"Erik! Are you out of your mind calling here? Dad would have killed you!" she exclaimed with obvious joy in her voice.

"Sorry, but I have some news for you, which I hope you´ll like" he said.

"Oh yeah?" she asked excited.

"Well, it´s completely up to you of course, but I´coming to England next month to give a lecture and I would love to see you and our darling daughter, if you´re ok with it" he said hesitantly. "Christine?" he asked when she said nothing.

"Oh Erik I would love that!" she said delighted.

"Really Christine?" he was clearly relieved.

"Yes Erik, it would be great. How long are you staying for?" she asked.

"Just 5 days, but I only have 2 lectures, so we can spend 3 evenings and most of the days together if you like" he was so happy now.

"Sound wonderful, I can´t wait Erik!" she said nearly out of breath with excitement.

"Me neither. I´ve got to go now, 'Cruella' is coming back soon, but I´ll let you know when I arrive" he said.

"Sure, talk to you then. I love you" she whispered.

"I love you too. Give my baby girl a big kiss from me" he said before hanging up.

She had a huge smile on her lips when she put the phone down. It was the first conversation she had had with him in 5 months that didn´t make her want to collapse in tears afterwards.

He arrived on a Wednesday the next month. Well aware that the British tabloids were bad, she didn´t meet him in the airport. Instead she bundled up her daughter and made her way to the Giry house.

"Daddy!" Alana squealed and wiggled impatiently in Christine´s arms until Erik grapped her an enveloped her in a tight hug.

"Hello love, I´ve missed you so much" he whispered to her. Alana just giggled. After a moment he handed her to Anne Giry who took her with her to the livingroom so Erik and Christine could have a minute alone.

Erik took hold of both her hands and kissed them tenderly.

"It´s good to see you" he said with tears in his eyes.

"You too, and now would you please say properly hello to me" she smiled through her own tears.

"I´d be happy to" he grinned and kissed her waiting lips. When they broke apart he lead her to the livingroom so they could have some family time together.

On Saturday night he arranged for them to have dinner in his hotel room. He really wished he could have taken her to a nice restaurant, but they couldn´t risk being seen together.
Christine had left Alana with her parents. Marie had been happy to watch the little one and she was overjoyed to see her daughter start going out again.

After they finished their meal he joined her on the balcony and offered her another glass of wine.

"You look amazing tonight" he said with admiration and kissed her cheek gently.

"Thank you, and thanks for doing this, I´m having such a great time" she smiled.

He softly kissed her lips and she moaned into his mouth. She put her wine glass down so she could wrap her arms around his neck.

"I love you so much" he whispered as he reluctantly released her lips.

"And I love you" she whispered back.

He began kissing her again, but when he carefully slid his hands under her shirt to caress her naked back she pulled away slightly.

"No Erik, I can´t sleep with you...that´s too painful..." she whispered.

He kissed her forehead. "I know Christine, I don´t expect you to, please forgive me" he withdrew his hands, but she shook her head.

"No don´t, it´s nice, I just wanted to let you know before things got out of hand. I would however like to stay here tonight and spend a night in your arms, if you´l let me" she said and kissed his chin.

He smiled. "I would be honored to hold you through the night and whisper sweet nothings in your ear" he said and kissed her while slowly leading her to the bed.

She awoke the next morning to the feeling of his body presed tightly against her back and his hand softly caressing her arms. She turned around and kissed him.

"Thank you Erik, that was the best night I´ve had in a long time" she whispered.

"Me too", he said happily.

Half an hour later she kissed him goodbye.

"I´ll go and pick up Alana. See you in an hour at Anne´s house" she said.

"Yes, I can´t wait to spend my last day here with my favourite girls" he said and kissed her once more before she left.