How could I be so stupid?

by LiltingBanshee

Author´s note: I´m glad you all liked the little time Christine and Erik had together;)
I´ll be away for a few days, so you´ll have to stay entertained with this chapter. I´ll see if I can get any work done on the nexy while I´away:)

Abby Kovac: Do you know when things happen that you don´t want to know about, but in fact you really do?
I think that´s how Christine felt about the wedding. Camille really had no evil intentions, she just thought Christine would like to know:)
I´ve looked for your e-mail address, but can´t find it. Let me know what it is so I can post some suggestions for M A S K for you;)

You´llbemyangel: Yeah, would be good, but they´ll have to wait and see what happens. Btw. I found that song "Stupid" you mentioned. It´s really scary how well it fits this story. Thanks for mentioning it:)

Phantomlover22: glad you do:)

Tink20: thanks

Twinkle22: thanks, don´t think I could handle it either:) hope you like this update:)

PhantomLover05: sorry I killed you!;) glad you liked the chap, hope you´ll enjoy this as well:)

Wandering-Phantom: I know, sorry. It will get better:)

Gottogirl: thanks, in chap 14 Alana is about 1½ years old. She is older now, but you´ll see:)

"Daddy Daddy!" 2 year old Alana staggered towards the door with Christine close behind.

"No sweety, it´s not Daddy" she sighed.

"Daddy!" Alana squealed excited when Christine opened the frontdoor to reveal Raoul and another guy standing on the doorstep.

"Hi Chris, hi little birthday girl" he said happily.

At the sight of him Alana´s eyes began to water and she started crying uncontrolably.

"No! Daddy!" she wept.

Christine picked her up and the little girl buried her face in her mother´s curls.

"Sorry guys" Christine said as she moved to let them in. "We´re in a little I-want-Daddy period."

Raoul nodded. "Chris, this is Gerard, my room mate. Gerry, this is Christine" he introduced them.

"Hello Christine, thanks for inviting me" Gerard said politely.

"Oh you´re welcome, nice to finally meet you, I know you´re a good friend of Raoul´s. Sorry about the rude welcome" she said.

"It´s fine Chris, don´t worry" Raoul smiled and leaned in to kiss her cheek. That didn´t suit Alana ans she slapped her small hands against his shoulder.

"No kiss! Not Daddy!" she screamed.

"Alana be nice!" Christine scolded and looked sternly into the girl´s eyes.

"NO!" Alana wailed and threw herself backwards trying to get out of Christine´s arms.

"The others are in the livingroom, just go in. I´ll just have a little talk with the young lady in the kitchen" Christine smiled to them.

"No no no! Don´t want to!" Alana screamed as they entered the kitchen.

Ignoring her protest Christine went to the sink and filled a glass with water. She held it up to Alana´s mouth. "Come on baby, drink this" she offered.

"No!" Alana was obviously not interested.

"Now Alana!" Christine was having none of it.

Alana then put her small lips to the glass and Christine tipped it so she could drink. She finished the glass and then began to calm down. She had nearly driven herself to hysteria so she was still hicupping and sniffing when Christine sat down on a chair and placed her in her lap. The little girl leaned her head on her mother´s chest and Christine rocked her gently.

"Sweety what did Mummy tell you about Daddy not coming for your birthday?" she asked softly.

"Not coming" Alana sniffed.

"That´s right, we talked about Daddy not coming, but you had to be a big girl about it. What happened out at the door?" she asked.

"Alana bad" the girl mumbled.

"Yes Alana was being bad and impolite to Raoul and Gerard. They are your guests today so now you have to go and say sorry to them ok?" Christine said.

"Ok" Alana nodded.

They spent a minute in silence so Alana could calm down completely and then they made their way to the livingroom.

Meg and Roul were sitting close together and Gerard was dazzling Marie and Anne with his charm. Christine smiled as Alana crawled up in Raoul´s lap.

"Hi princess, feeling better now?" he said quietly to her.

Alana smiled and nodded and then leaned closer to him. "I´m sorry" she whispered in his ear and Raoul hugged her.

"You´re forgiven Angel" he whispered back to her.

A couple of hours later Christine had gone to the kitchen to get some more hot chocolate when Meg came in.

"Christine can I talk to you for a second" she asked.

"Sure Meg" Christine smiled.

"Well, Raoul has asked me out..."she trailed off.

"Oh Meg that´s great!" Christine said happily.

"Are you sure Chris? I mean I understand if you would be upset, you and Raoul were together for along time. If it´s a problem I´ll just say no and..." she rambled.

"Meg! It´s not a problem, I think it´s wonderful" Christine grinned.

"Oh thank you Chris, I´m so happy" Meg smiled relieved.

"He really likes you Meg, I´m happy for you" Christine said and hugged her.

"Maybe you and Gerard could come too. He´s very sweet, wouldn´t that be fun?" Meg suggested.

"Yes Meg, he is very sweet, but I don´t think I should start dating anyone just yet. Especially not a girl magnet like Gerard" she sighed.

"Come on Chris, you can´t stay single forever" Meg whined.

"I don´t plan to Meg. Maybe I´ll think about it" she said to get her off her back.

Later that night Christine was lying on her bed beside Alana. They pretended that Christine´s hand was a mouse and Alana squealed and giggled when the 'mouse' sneaked up to tickle under her chin.
Someone knocked on the door and Charles peeked inside.

"Do you need any help little princess?" he smiled at Alana.

"Mummy´s got a tickle mouse" Alana grinned and let out a loud squeal when Christine tickled her again.

Charles laughed and went to the bed. "Well then, maybe Granddad should tickle the tickle mouse" he said and grapped Christine´s sides. Then it was her turn to squeal and she tried to avoid her father´s hands. After a light tumble Charles straightened himself up and laughed.

"You´re still not strong enough to escape me princess" he smiled at Christine.

She stood up and hugged him. "I never want to escape from you Daddy" she whispered.

She noticed him getting a bit teary eyed before he cleared his throat.

"Well, your mother is getting the tea ready, will you come down" he asked her.

"Yes Dad, I´ll be down in a minute" she said.

"Good night my big girl, sweet dreams" he said and kissed Alana´s cheek.

"Night night" the little girl said in a sleepy voice.

When he had left Christine sat down and tucked the covers around her daughter.

"Mummy hold hand" Alana mumbled.

Christine took her hand and gently stroked her thumb over it. It quickly made Alana sleepy and in a few seconds she was off. Christine softly kissed her forehead and carefully released her hand.

"Sleep tight my baby, I love you" she whispered and left the room.

A couple of weeks later Christine was running around in the house trying to find one of her shoes. She was late and was just about to panic when she found it under Alana´s bed.
Marie came into the room as she was putting her earrings on.

"Oh you look lovely Christine, he´s a lucky man" she sighed with joy.

"Mum I´m just going to keep Gerard company while Meg and Raoul are staring deeply into each other´s eyes. It´s not a date" Christine said annoyed and grapped her bag.

"Oh come on now Christine, he´s a lovely young man. I´m sure you´ll get along well" Marie smiled.

"Yeah yeah" Christine said.

Downstairs she sweeped Alana up in her arms and hugged and kissed her. "Bye darling, be a good girl tonight ok?" she said.

Alana nodded and wiggled to get back on the floor to her toys.

"Bye Mym" Christine yelled as she ran out the door to find a cab.

Christine had to admit that she enjoyed herself. Yes Meg and Raoul were very into each other, but it really didn´t matter.
Gerard was easy to talk to and he was so nice. He asked with interest about her music and he obviously liked Alana.
In turn Christine asked him about law school and he and Raoul told jokes about their teachers that left Meg and Christine wrecked with laughter.
Several hours later Raoul and Meg had driven off in a cab and Gerard looked at Christine.

"Do you want to go straight home or walk around for a while?" he asked carefully.

She smiled up at him. "Well, we can walk for a bit and then catch a cab futher up the street" she suggested.

"So, what is it like taking care of a child and being at school at the same time, if you don´t mind me asking" he said after a while.

"Hard!" Christine grinned. "I´m really lucky to have my parents to help me with Alana. I couldn´t handle everything if I was alone."

Gerard nodded understandingly. "I really admire you, she has turned out great. A sweet and lovely girl" he smiled.

"Apart from the little tantrum she threw at her birthday!" Christine laughed.

Gerard laughed as well. "Oh that´s nothing Christine. My cousin had a baby when she was 16 and I really like kids, don´t get me wrong, but her son is an angerball beyond anything. And Kathy is not doing well either, she takes her frustrations out on the boy and that´s really bad" he said.

Christine nodded. "There´s a lot of frustration involved in the relationship between Alana´s father and I, but I could never take it out on her. She is suffering enough from being without her father most of the year" she sighed.

"Yeah, Raoul told me a bit about it, though not a lot. He says it´s not for him to talk about" Gerard said quietly.

"He´s a good friend Raoul, he knows it´s hard for me and I don´t really feel comfortable with everyone knowing about it" she said sadly.

"You don´t have to tell me if you don´t want to" he said.

"I have a feeling I can trust you and I know Raoul is going to kick your ass if you tell everyone" she smiled. "You see, Alana´s father is married to someone else. They weren´t married when we had her, but only engaged. This woman controls the place where Erik works and appearently also Erik. She has tons of conditions that has made him unable to be a boyfriend to me and a real father to his daughter. I´m learning to live with it, but I don´t think I´ll ever stop hoping" she said with a sigh.

Gerard put an arm around her shoulders. "So far I think you´re handling things well and you shouldn´t move on before you´re ready" he smiled.

As he dropped her off at her house he kissed her cheek gently.

"Thank you Christine, I had a lovely time tonight" he said.

"Thank you Gerry, me too" she smiled before leaving the cab.

She carefully entered her room to find Alana sprawled on her bed snoring quietly. She quickly changed her clothes and slipped into the bed next to her daughter.
The little girl snuggled closely up to her and Christine kissed her curls softly. "Good night my love" she whispered and blew a kiss at the picture beside the bed before she slept.