How could I be so stupid?

by LiltingBanshee

Author's note. Thanks for all your kind reviews; I've tried my best to respond to them.
One of you asked if this was an EC story. It is, with all it's twist and turns it is in fact meant to be EC, you will see:)

Christmas came again and like the previous year a little parcel arrived from Paris. However this year it only contained a present for Alana and a short 'Merry Christmas' note for them both. Though Christine had only bothered to send Erik a card this year she had an awful hard time hiding her disappointment.
Apparently she wasn't doing a very good job and when she quickly excused herself for a minute Marie hesitated only a second before following her daughter upstairs.
She found her curled up on the bed sobbing quietly.

"Shh my darling, it will be alright" she soothed and rubbed Christine's back gently.

"No it won't Mum, it's over. I know it. We can't even have a decent conversation. This is not how I wanted it to be" Christine cried.

"Christine sweetheart, it's only been little over a month. You both need some time to think about the things you said to each other. After that I'm sure you'll start talking again. You will be friends again some day" Marie said softly.

"But I don't want to be just friends with him! I want to be with him and for things to be like before this stupid fight" Christine sniffed.

"Christine, I know you hate hearing this, but things were not any better before the fight. Things have never been good between you. Well, maybe except for the time before Alana came, but I know nothing of that. You must stop running around in the same circle dear, you will just end up hurting yourself more and other people as well" Marie said.

"You mean Gerry?" Christine whispered.

"Gerry among others yes, but I don't think Alana deserves a mother who is constantly miserable, Meg and Raoul tries anything to cheer you up – without luck and your father and I miss seeing you smile dear. You must at least try Christine" Marie sighed.

Christine nodded. "I know Mum. Just give me a minute and I'll come back downstairs."

"Mummy, we've been waiting for ages, are you ready soon" Alana attempted to roll her eyes like her mother often did and Christine had to suppress a giggle.

"Yes baby, I'll be there in a second – and you've only been waiting for 5 minutes" she smiled at her daughter.

Alana made a big show out of the sigh that escaped her and sat down on the floor fingering her red velvet dress. When Christine didn't show any sign of being ready to leave she got up again and wandered over to the bed. Seating herself comfortably on the covers she reached for the picture on the nightstand and began to hum softly while looking at it.

"Mummy, why can I only wear a mask at Halloween when Daddy gets to wear his everyday?" she asked curiously.

"You know Daddy doesn't wear the mask for fun sweetheart, he has to wear it because of the accident he had with his face. You remember I told you that" Christine answered softly.

"Do you think he would take the mask off for me?" Alana asked.

"I don't know dear, you would have to ask him. Remember that dear; you must never take it off on your own. You must ask" Christine said, clearly remembering what had happened when she had made that mistake.

"I can't ask him if he's never here" Alana mumbled quietly enough for Christine not to hear it.

She probably wouldn't have heard anyway as she at the same second finished putting her earrings on. She quickly stood up and went to Alana. She took the picture from her and ruffled her curls affectionally. "Come on darling, we're ready to go."

"Ah, here are my two favorite girls" Gerard got up from the chair where he had waited for the past 15 minutes and went over to kiss Christine's lips gently.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting" she said with a little smile.

"Don't worry about it Chris, I'm sure Raoul is waiting patiently for Meg over at her house as well" he grinned.

Anne Giry had invited her friends for a little post-Christmas lunch and Christine was happy to be spending the afternoon with Raoul, Meg and Gerry.
She carefully zipped Alana's coat and the trio made their way to the waiting cab.

Christine fully enjoyed the afternoon. Apart from her parents there were quite a few of Anne's friends present. Some of them Christine knew from the countless times she had spent here with Meg while growing up and she felt pride swell in her heart as her own little girl politely charmed those people who had watched her grow up.
She felt a little tear in the corner of her eyes as she watched the little dark-haired girl talk and smile and was only interrupted in her line of thoughts by Meg who wrapped her arms around her waist from behind and leaned her chin on her shoulder.

"She's such an angel Christine" Meg said softly.

"Yes, sometimes I get scared by how much I love her" Christine nodded with a smiled.

"Any word…?" Meg asked carefully.

"No, nothing" Christine sighed.

Meg tightened her arms around Christine in a gentle hug. "Never mind Chris, you're better off without him. You and Gerry seem to be getting quite close."

Christine grinned. "Yeah, we're getting along well."

"I'm really happy for you Chris" Meg smiled.

Christine put her hands over Meg's and squeezed them. "Thanks Meg, I…What is this?" Christine glared at her best friend's hand and then broke out in a full grin.

"That is what I was going to tell you about" Meg said grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh my God Meg! When did he ask you?" Christine said as quietly as she could and dragged Meg away from the other guests.

"The day before Christmas" Meg whispered.

"Oh Meg, congratulations! Wow, that ring is huge!" Christine squealed delighted and crushed Meg to her.

"So I take it you approve?" a grinning voice said from behind.

Christine whirled around and smiled at Raoul. "Of course I approve! I couldn't be happier for the two of you" she went to hug him as well. " So when is the big day?" she asked when releasing him.

"Well, I still have at least a year left of college and Meg too. We'll probably just enjoy being together and then decide on a date when we're both ready. I just wanted to make sure she belonged to me" Raoul grinned and Meg swatted his arm playfully.

"Well, as long as I get to go you can wait for as long as you like" Christine said happily.

"Get to go? What do you think, you're my maid of honor" Meg grinned.

"Come on, let's join the rest of the party, Alana will think you have abandoned her by now" Raoul said and offered an arm to each of the women.

"Ha, she's probably still busy entertaining" Christine smiled as they went back to the living room.

Greetings from Hell.
Sorry for being an ass! Hope you will forgive me some day.
Currently spending quality time with parents in law- hence the card (which I found in a local shop, sweet right).
You know where I would rather be.

Love you forever
Erik.

Gerry kissed her naked shoulder and squeezed her hand gently. "Are you ok?" he whispered.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm really sorry I couldn't go through with this…." She said quietly.

Gerry raised himself up on his elbow and looked down at her. "It's no big deal Christine, I'm surprised you allowed it to come this far. No hard feelings, I promise" he smiled.

"Thanks for understanding, I guess I'm just not ready yet" she smiled back at him.

When she had dressed he grabbed her hands and brought them to his lips. "Christine, I don't think we should continue to attempt to develop our friendship to a romantic relationship" he said carefully.

"Gerry I'm sorry I…" she tried.

"No, don't apologize. You love Erik, there's no reason to deny it" he said

"Yes I love him, but I'm trying to move on. Really, I am!" she said persistently.

"But for whose sake Christine. To make your parents happy? Alana? Your friends? That's all very good, but are you happy Christine? Do you really want to let go just yet?" he asked.

She looked at the floor. "No…" she mumbled.

"Then don't Christine. Don't move on before you're ready, no good will come of it" he said softly.

"Gerry, there are too few of your kind in this world. I'm so sorry if I have hurt you during this" she said with a tearful smile.

"Hey, don't worry about that. I never dared to hope I would come even this close to you. I just hope we can stay friends" he said.

"Of course we can" she said and kissed his cheek.

"I'm glad, and I really hope things work out between you two in the end. Now let me take you home" he said and guided her to the door.

"How long will you stay there for?" Marie asked.

"Only for a week Mum, I just want to see Camille, it's been too long" Christine said and changed the TV channel.

"And what about Erik, are you going to see him too?" Marie dared to ask.

"Maybe Mum, I don't know. If I decide to do that I'll give him a call" she said with a little smile.

"Oh my dear little Christine, you have grown so much! And you too little angel!" Camille hugged them both when she met them at the airport.

"It's so good to see you Camille, I'm sorry for taking so long before getting back here" Christine said.

"Ah, none of that now dear, you have kept in touch with all your letters and pictures, that's more than I ever hoped for" the older woman said. "Now, this is Antoine, he is in charge of the housework these days."

Christine shook hands with the tall skinny young man in front of her. "Pleased to meet you Christine, Camille has told me a lot about you" he said politely.

"Likewise Antoine, are you studying here in Paris?" she asked.

"Yes, I study fashion and art, I will give you guided tours to the museums if you like" he offered as they walked to the car.

It might have been a bit ambitious to bring a 2 ½ year old to the Louvre, but Antoine had been excited about showing them around and Christine had always wanted to see the place. Alana could have spent the day with Camille, but Christine wanted her to experience a bit of culture, though she was so young.

They walked among the Greek statues, Alana sulking and falling a bit behind. "Mummy, are there any statues here that aren't broken?" she whined.

It was probably the funniest thing he had ever heard. The little girl's voice fit his own thoughts perfectly. He crouched down behind her and produced a finely wrapped caramel.
"Will this make things better" he said softly to her.

She turned around and let out a happy squeal. "Daddy!"