Part Two
(Dante is walking down the street when a man walks up to him)
Man: Excuse me, how would you like to be in a television commercial?
Dante: Are you for real?
Man: yes, its for a hair gel. You would be perfect for the part-you're very sexy!
Dante: (Awkward silence)...um, thanks, I guess...
(Dante is on the set, and sees Vergil in the corner)
Dante: Hey bro! You here for the commercial too?
Vergil: Im working with you? That wasnt in the contract...
Dante: Remember that toothpaste ad we were in when we were younger? We were the two dancing front teeth in the giant mouth and-
Vergil: shut up
Dante: (laughing)good times
(After filming, Dante and Vergil are watching the new ad)
Announcer: new body shock hair gel for rebelious hair...
(Dante has a cloud strife hair style, Vergil looks the same)
Dante: I look awesome!
Vergil: (Smug)My hair is already awesome, I didnt even use any...
Disclaimer: may result in brain damage and infertility
Dante: (Stares frozen at TV)
Vergil: ...sorry bro( Laughing his ass off)
(Dante is talking with someone on set)
Dante: Man, I cant believe Im getting my own TV show! You know, Ive been on tv so much recently, I cant remember the last time I slayed a demon. Maybe I should give it up and become an actor!
Assistant: Maybe
Dante: "This party's getting craaaazy!" "My soul is saying it wants tostop you!" What do you think?
Assistant: Dont quit your day job.
Dante: By the way,this show is going to be called "Devil may cry" right?
Assistant: Actually, it will be called "Dante's super cool adventures"
Dante: (Blank)I guess that will do...
(Dante is on set, filming his first scene)
Director: Ok bring on the hell pride
Dante: Sweet, this is what I live for (gets out Ebony and Ivory)
Director: Cut! Sorry Dante, but you wont be able to use your guns...or your sword
Dante: ...I beg your pardon
Director: Well its been in the papers alot lately about how violent TV shows and videogames are affecting kids, so we are trying to tone down the violence
Dante: Okaaay...how do I take this guy out?
Director: Try reasoning with it, ask it why its so mad, maybe you two could become friends!
Dante: Your kidding
Director: Nope. Ok, now go into devil form
Dante: (annoyed)Whats the point if Im not going to kill anything!
Director: We need special effects to make the show look cool
Dante: (sigh) transforms
Director: Hmm...no, I dont see it
Dante: WHAT! but Im the ultimate bad-assery in devil form!(outraged)
Director: Bring in the guy in the costume
Dante: Thats it, I cant work under these conditions! I quit!
(Beowulf walks in wearing a massive t-shirt saying lets be friends!
Beowulf: Will you need me for this scene?