How could I be so stupid?

by LiltingBanshee

Author´s note: yes, I am still alive! Hope you will enjoy this little update, as always thanks for your kind reviews;)

Erik moved aside to let Maurice into the apartment. A moment of awkward silence followed, but then Erik decided to break the ice.

"Maurice I'm really sorry about all this. I never meant to hurt Giselle, honestly. I know she is upset and I've tried…" he was cutoff by Maurice who held up his hands while shaking his head.

"Please Erik, spare me your pathetic excuses, that is not what I came to hear. I am here because my daughter is in my house crying her eyes out because her husband has deceived her beyond anything and you haven't even bothered to come by and check on her!" the anger in Maurice's voice was obvious.

"I never intended to deceive her, and I really don't believe I have. I have called several times, but Giselle won't speak to me. I doubted she would want to see me, so I stayed away" Erik defended himself.

"How can you say you have not deceived her? You have lied to her and betrayed her! I know life has been hard on you Erik, but that does not justify the fact that you have played around with my daughter's heart while having God knows how many other women!" Maurice roared at him.

"That is not true! First of all I have not been fooling around with countless women and second, I was honest with Giselle from the beginning! I told her I had met someone else, but she wouldn't let go. She threatened me to stay with her and she has got you so wrapped around her little finger that she could easily use you to put the necessary pressure on me to make me stay with her! She knew exactly what buttons to push, she knew how important my job was to me and using that as her weapon she has had me dancing to her tune for years! But guess what Maurice! It's over! Take your bloody money and go to Hell, I don't care anymore! There are things that are much more important than a pile of bricks that just happens to be one of the most famous Opera houses in the world. There is a family. My family! Something I have never known! I have a woman who loves me for who I am and a little daughter whom I have neglected for years! They matter to me and nothing else! If all you came to tell me was that you will be taking your support away then go ahead. Take it! Take it and leave me alone!" Erik hadn't noticed the tears of anger that was running down his cheeks, but he suddenly felt drained and slumped down in a chair and sobbed.

Maurice was completely silenced by the outburst. He had never seen Erik like this before. He had always admired the composer's strong personality, but right now he looked so fragile sitting there wiping his tears from his cheeks.
After a while Erik cleared his throat and stood up.

"Can I offer you a drink?" he carefully asked Maurice.

The man nodded and Erik poured two glasses of whiskey and handed Maurice one. He then gestured for him to sit down in the opposite chair.

"I apologize for my angry outburst, I don't know what came over me" Erik said after having taken a sip of the liquor.

"Apology accepted, and I'm sorry for attacking you like that earlier" Maurice said as some kind of peace offering. "Erik, what you said about you having told Giselle about the woman you were seeing…were you telling the truth?" he asked carefully.

"Yes Maurice, I truly have been honest with your daughter. I do care for Giselle, but I must tell you that I have never been in love with her. I love her; don't get me wrong, but not the way she deserves to be loved. My heart lies with someone else. A few years ago Giselle and I got into a fight over whether I loved her or not. I won't go into details, but she broke off our relationship. I needed a break so I went off to England to stay with a good old friend of mine. During my stay there I met a young woman, Christine. She was only 16 at the time and I knew I was doing wrong, but I fell in love with her the second I saw her. Now, you may question how I knew I was in love with her when I didn't know my feelings for Giselle, but you are a married man Maurice, you know when it just feels right. We ended up starting a secret relationship that carried on for months until I had to return to Paris to my duties at the Opera. I knew I should forget about Christine, but I couldn't. Then suddenly Giselle showed up in my life again, ready to forgive me and I was so confused. I was still corresponding with Christine and I knew I had to choose. I had made up my mind to tell Giselle that we could never have a life together when everything came crashing down on me. Christine showed up here in Paris, 17 years old and pregnant with my child. At the same time Giselle decided to hold on to our engagement. I told Giselle that I was going to be a father and that we should break off the engagement for good when she went ballistic. She told me that she was not the kind of woman that someone left and that she would not let me get away with it. The next thing I knew I was told that you would hold back all financial support to the Opera should I ever consider to leave Giselle. I have played along for years Maurice, but I can't do that anymore. I'm sorry" Erik sighed and looked at his hands.

"Erik, there is something you need to know about Giselle. She is sick. Not in any life-threatening-disease sort of way. It's in her head. We have always been an important family in the higher society in France. Giselle has attended the finest schools and universities and that was where she met Marcel. He was the love of her life. They got engaged when she was only 18. Her mother and I were nottoo pleased to be honest, as we feared he would break her heart, but she was so happy and she was our only child so we would do anything for her. It happened only a few months before their wedding. He ran off with someone else. Giselle was heartbroken and I must say I feared she would commit suicide several times over the years. Luckily she never did and slowly she began to come around, but she never became the same cheerful girl she once was. I did see some of that spark return to her eyes when she started going out with you. You must understand Erik; I thought I had lost my baby forever. Seeing her happy again meant the world to me and when she asked me to help her hold on to you I blindly went ahead and obeyed her" Maurice explained.

Erik remained silent, not knowing what to say.

"Seeing your child in pain is the hardest thing for a father, you must know now" Maurice said and smiled weakly at Erik.

He nodded. "Yes, I am the one who had caused my child pain from the day she was born. She is such and angel and I have neglected her and her mother terribly. I don't even deserve their devotion to me" he sighed.

"Now Erik, don't be too hard on yourself. The way I see it you haven't had much of a choice. You never intended to hurt them. That is in fact something I have always liked about you. You always seemed to put everyone else before yourself. You have tried to keep Giselle happy and at the same time tried to be there for your daughter and her mother. You are indeed a man of many talents and I sincerely apologize for being the one who has made your life so difficult the past few years" Maurice said and put his now empty glass down.

"Thank you Maurice, I appreciate that. And I am very sorry for hurting Giselle in any way" Erik said gratefully.

Maurice nodded thoughtfully and rose from his seat. "I must be getting home now Erik, I appreciate the talk we have had" he said.

Erik followed him to the door, but on the way Maurice spotted something that Erik had never kept out in the open before.

"Is that you daughter?" he asked and looked at the picture.

Erik smiled proudly. "Yes, that's Alana when she turned 2 years old. The woman next to her is Christine, her mother"

"Beautiful. Both of them. Take good care of your family Erik" Maurice said and put the picture down.

"Thank you, I will" Erik said.

Just as Maurice was about to leave Erik cleared his throat. "Uhm…Maurice about the sponsorship for the Opera…."

"I will need to have a long talk with my daughter and consider it. I do love the Opera, but I also love my family. I will see what I can do Erik, but I will make no promises" he said, the sound of his voice now more like the business man he was.

"I understand, give my best to Giselle" Erik said.

"I will. Good night Erik".

"Good night Maurice".