A/N : This is the kind of chapter I like to write most of all, a least the first part is - Spike and Buffy and the love :-)
(For disclaimer, etc - see chapter 1)

Chapter 12

The complete absence of thought that comes with the pleasure of making love as she and Spike had just done, did not last long enough for Buffy. As they lay naked together on the couch, covered modestly by the throw, his arms holding her back to his chest so she didn't slip away, a million thoughts went rushing through Buffy's head. The speed with which they travelled made her feel quite sick. She had no idea what the hell she'd been thinking when she'd let this happen again. She and William Armstrong had now made love twice and still she really knew nothing concrete about him, barring his full name, job title, and how he lost his last girlfriend to another woman! Still, what they'd just done was indescribably perfect to Buffy and she really didn't regret a second of it.

"What're you thinkin' pet?" Spike asked her as he softly kissed her neck and breathed in the scent of her hair.

"That was... beautiful" she admitted, glad she had her back to him really since she was fairly certain she blushed.

"Not gonna argue with that, luv" she was glad to hear her lover reply, "God, Buffy, I can't find words to tell you what you do to me" Spike said as he continued to kiss her neck and shoulder, his hands running over her skin and making her shudder involuntarily. She turned in his arms and their lips met once again, re-igniting their passion. As wonderful as it felt, Buffy pulled away.

"Don't, Spike" she said sadly, "Were supposed to be talking"

"I know" he sighed, making himself be still and finding it almost impossible, "'S not my fault you're so damn sexy" he pointed out, "Or that you seem to find me equally as bloody irrisistable"

"I didn't say it was anyone's fault" Buffy shook her head as she got up from the couch, keeping the throw wrapped around her. Of course it hadn't occurred to her she'd left Spike lying naked on the couch and apparently he didn't care at all.

"Are you going to get dressed?" Buffy asked as she glanced awkwardly at him and set about picking up her own clothes from the floor, never letting go of the throw that covered her body.

"S'pose so" Spike conceded, though he was frowning as he shifted to a sitting position on the couch and reached across for his jeans. Buffy had her back to him as she finally let go of the throw and pulled on her underwear and then the rest of her clothes. From across the room he could see she was shaking, in fact he was fairly certain she was crying.

"Er, pet?" he said as he moved towards her and realised he'd been right and she was sobbing her heart out, "Buffy, I'm sorry" he said gently as he put a hand on her shoulder and turned her around, "If I hurt you or..."

"You didn't" she sniffed as she looked at him, "I just... I don't know where to start" she admitted, "I can't make sense of any of this, I mean, I don't even know you, not really, but..."

"But I make you feel things" Spike finished for her, "Things you can't explain? I know it's true, Buffy, you do the same to me" he told her, hands running up and down her arms and they stood looking at each other. Whilst she was fully clothed again now he'd only got as far as his jeans and was bare-chested before her.

"Spike" she sighed, looking away, "I have things I have to say to you" she told him, "One thing in particular, and it scares the hell out of me"

"Why?" he wanted to know, his hand gong to her face and urging her to look at him again, "Why should you be afraid to tell me anything, luv?"

"Because I never felt like this about anyone before" she told him solemnly, "Not even the man I married, and it scares me that I'm going to lose you from my life so soon after I just found you" she said shakily as she clung to him.

"Buffy" he sighed, "Sweetheart, I'm tryin' to make it clear to you, that I don't want to go anywhere, that I have feelings for you that I can't explain but that I definitely want to understand" he smiled, "I'm drowning in you, Summers, I'm drowning and I don't want to be saved. Scares me a bit too, if I'm honest" he told her, "but isn't that all part of it?"

"Maybe" Buffy admitted, "but this needs to be more than just thrill-seekage" she told him firmly, as she took a deep breath, "Spike, I..." she was seconds away from confessing the news of her pregnancy when a car pulled onto the gravel drive and made her jump. It had to be Giles, she was certain, especially when she heard her son's voice singing a TV commercial jingle way too loudly as he was prone to do.

"Damn" Buffy cursed as she pulled away from Spike and grabbed his T-shirt throwing it at him, "Please, get dressed" she urged him, "Michael cannot know what we did"

Spike nodded as he pulled his top over his head and forced is feet into his boots at the same time. By the time Giles and Michael came into the room, Spike was sitting casually on the couch and Buffy was in the chair to one side. They might've been doing nothing less innocent than talking the whole time.

"Mommy!" the little boy yelled delightedly as he ran at her for a hug.

"Hey sweetie" Buffy smiled as she put her arms around her son and held him tight, "You enjoy your ice-cream?"

"Uh-huh" Michael nodded excitedly as he pulled away and looked at her then Spike, "I had my favourite, double chocolate fudge brownie"

"That's nice" Buffy smiled, "And what did Grandpa Giles have?" she asked her father, almost acting as if Spike wasn't present in the room at all.

"Er, just vanilla" Giles smiled wryly, "I'm really not a fan of all these flavours and bits and pieces in my dessert. It seems so very... well, if you'll pardon me Buffy, it does seem very American to me"

Buffy smiled at that.

"It's not like I'm gonna be offended, Giles" she told him, not noticing that Michael was now standing a foot away from Spike and looking at him strangely.

"What's up, mate?" the bleached blond asked after a moment and the little boy frowned.

"How come your tag is on the outside and at the front?" he asked, gesturing towards the top of Spike's T-shirt where the little sewn in label was visible, since he'd apparently put that particular piece of clothing on both backwards and inside out in his hurry.

Buffy closed her eyes and expelled a breath, her hands going up to cover her face momentarily. Giles glanced between his daughter and her new friend, guessing what had happened between them, indeed now that he looked at her he could see that Buffy was somewhat dishevelled.

"Really Michael, I'm sure that's none of our business" Giles said quickly, "Er, why don't you run upstairs and pick out a board game you might like to play whilst your mother and I see Mr Armstrong out"

"Yay! A game!" Michael grinned before galloping off to his room and Spike turned to Giles.

"Thanks for that" he said, immediately pulling his top off and fixing it so he was wearing it the right way a moment later.

"I confess I did nothing to deliberately help you" the older man snapped, getting to his feet, grabbing up Spike's coat and holding it out to him, "I do not wish my grandson or my daughter to be in any sort of distress" he said sternly, "Which is why I must ask you to leave"

"Buffy?" Spike frowned as he got to his feet and took his leather coat from Giles, "For God sake, luv, why are you lettin' him think I'm the bad guy here? I did nothing to upset them, mate" he said as he turned from her to her father, "I care about Buffy, a lot"

"Yes, yes, I dare say you do" Giles said, waving the other man's words away with his hand, "At this point in time I have no use for your explanations or your declarations, I wish you simply to leave my home"

"I'll go if it's what Buffy wants" Spike said, eyes hardening as he looked over at Giles. He'd done nothing wrong, not taken advantage or anything, after all Buffy had initiated what they'd done today, and hadn't he saved little Michael's life just a few hours ago? Not that he was looking for a reward or whatever for such an act but he was not going to be treated like some sort of nasty soddin' git when he'd done nothing wrong.

"I need you to go now" Buffy said quietly as she glanced up at him, "I'm sorry, but I just do"

As much as it pained Spike he would do as she asked. He'd pretty much do anything she ever asked of him, walk over hot coals, bungee jump without the cord, it wouldn't matter, he was falling for her so hard and fast he couldn't help himself.

"Lady wants me to go, I'll go" he said, looking first at her then at Giles.

"I'll walk you to the door" Buffy said as she got to her feet, smiling slightly at Giles before leading Spike to the front entrance, "Today didn't exactly go how I planned" she laughed nervously, hugging herself as she watched him pull his coat on.

"Me either" he agreed as he turned to look at her, "but Buffy, everything that's happened between us, I don't regret a second of it" Spike assured her, "I never expected to see you again after that night" he told her honestly as he stood closely in front of her and looked down into her eyes, "Blew me away seein' you again, and I'm not denying you bein' married and havin' a kid came as a bit of a shock but... I still want to know you, I still want to find out whatever the hell this is between us"

Buffy looked up at him with years in her eyes as she put a hand to his cheek.

"I want to find out too" she admitted, "We seriously need to talk so maybe next time we meet somewhere public?" she suggested with a smile, "Might make us concentrate on the actual talking part of a conversation y'know?"

Spike smirked at that, putting his hand on hers, turning it to his lips and kissing her palm.

"Sounds like a plan, pet" he told her, "I'm in the book, so you call me whenever you want me, right?"

"Okay" Buffy nodded, reaching up to kiss him. What should have been a simple touch of lips turned into something much deeper in seconds and Spike had to force himself to pull away before they got into something they shouldn't right now.

"I'll call you" Buffy promised as they finally parted and the bleached blond she really hardly knew left the house.

Turning to lean her back against the door, she exhaled and tried to be calm. The things Spike could do to her, it was almost scary, but thrilling at the same time. Still, it wasn't just passion, it went deeper than that somehow, despite the fact they knew so little about each other's real lives.

"Mommy!" Michael called from the living room and Buffy smiled as she pushed away from the door and yelled back that she was just coming. Real life might be complicated and how she was going to fit Spike and a new baby into it she wasn't entirely sure yet, but for now she was going to be with her father and her son, and play a game and laugh and be normal. Tonight and tomorrow the worries of the world could descend upon her again, as well as memories and dreams of Spike that would make the whole world seem a little brighter.

To Be Continued...