A/N : Yeah, so everybody found the vomiting amusing, huh? Well, that wasn't quite the reaction I was expecting but it's all good. More Spuffy in this chapter, but the end of this story is nigh!
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 14

Buffy couldn't remember ever feeling this terrible. Not only had she just spent the last five minutes puking her guts up, but she knew she must look absolutely awful and the man she loved was standing right there staring at her. Least he had been til a second ago, now he was sitting beside her, one hand rubbing her back and telling her it was okay, she'd be fine in a minute.

"I'm sorry" she said at last, unable to look at him and obviously not wanting to look down at the mess she'd made.

"'S alright, pet" Spike told her kindly, though he wasn't too thrilled at having her do that, he loved her enough to think she was beautiful no matter what. He was just worried about how she'd got into such a state as this.

"We should probably get you to a doctor" he said, his arm still around her as she leant her elbows on her knees and put her face in her hands.

"No!" she said, whipping her head round too suddenly and feeling horrible again, "I..I just need to walk, and breathe..." Buffy said absently as she got up and took a couple of steps away.

"Y'know a more suspicious bloke might think you were tryin' to get away from me" Spike told her as he to got up, crossed behind the back of the bench and stood in front of her. She wouldn't look at him.

"Buffy, luv" he said, starting to get worried now as his hands went to the top of her arms and he tried to see her face, "Talk to me, pet" he urged her, "You're startin' to worry me here"

She surprised him slightly by bursting into tears and Spike frowned as he pulled her into a hug. This morning was not going at all how he'd planned. It was five a.m. when he'd woken up, a head full of thoughts all related to Buffy and it was clear he was not going to get back to sleep any time soon. He was out of bed by six despite the fact he didn't have a class to teach until lunchtime and so he'd got himself showered and dressed and gone out for a walk to think things through and make sense of his life.

The last few weeks had been more than a little crazy. Drusilla, who he'd dated for over a year, had left him, and for a woman no less! He'd fallen into the arms of Buffy, and into bed with her for just one night of passion, after which he believed he would never see her again, despite the fact he wanted to. Fast forward a few weeks, a torturous time as he tried to put Buffy Summers out of his head and had failed miserably, and here she was again, finally back in his life. That's when things got even more complicated.

Buffy had a husband, and whilst he could be written off as a minor complication, their son was an entirely different matter. Angel was a dark figure somewhere across the sea that barely counted for anything, whilst Michael was flesh and bone and right there in the middle of everything. Spike couldn't imagine being six years old and the envy of his own father, to the point where his mother would no longer take the strain and walked away. The poor kid had been through a lot it seemed and as much as Spike would like to imagine a happy ever after with him and Buffy riding off into the sunset somehow, it was never going to be so simple.

Their dream ending had to make room for another man's child, and that was a whole boatload of manly responsibility to come flying Spike's way. If he had Buffy in his life, he had Michael too, and that was if they even wanted him. He wanted her, of that he was certain. When they made love it was exactly that, no matter how insane it seemed after the short time they'd known each other. Spike knew he was on some level, completely head over heels in love with Buffy Summers and if he hadn't been sure five minutes ago he certainly was now as he held her in his arms and she cried like she'd never stop.

God what he wouldn't give to be able to take all her pain away, to be able to ensure she never cried another tear, never wanted for a single thing. He wanted to be with her so badly it almost physically hurt, and he wanted her to know all that right now, but it wasn't the time or place for such declarations. She was clearly unwell and distressed about something and that was the first thing he needed to figure out.

"Sweetheart, I need you to tell me what's wrong" he said gently as he prised her body away from his and tried to see her face which was by now all tear stained and blotchy from crying so much, "Do I need to get you to a doctor or what?" he checked.

"No" she assured him, in a small voice as she shook her head, "I'm okay"

Spike scoffed at that.

"I'd hardly say throwing your guts up and then bawling all over me really classes as okay, luv" he told her with a look, and Buffy glanced away.

"It is okay" she repeated, "I am, I just... God" she sighed, "This is so not how this was supposed to be" she told him sadly, "I had a speech, several actually I was still trying to choose, and I wanted there to be a restaurant maybe or somewhere where you couldn't leave without making a scene because, I so don't want you to take this badly and I need time to explain, I..."

"Buffy" Spike interrupted her, "You're babbling like a brook here, luv, and not making a whole lot of sense. Now why don't you take a deep breath and start over, cos no matter what it is I can handle it, alright?" he told her and she nodded slightly, taking a breath in and letting it out again.

"Spike" she said, physically shaking, "I... I'm pregnant" she finally admitted, feeling as though the only thing now holding her up was the anticipation of his reply to that statement. Good or bad she had to know, and probably sooner was better. If he was going to walk away he might break her heart less now than he would later, although she doubted she'd fair too well either way.

"Bugger me" Spike gasped, looking completely stunned. Of course as his mind spun back over the events leading up to the conversation, he wondered how he'd been so stupid as not to notice she was probably having a baby, it was the most likely explanation, but it was still the last thing he'd been expecting her to say.

"Is that all you have to say?" Buffy asked, still unsure as to whether he was taking this in a positive or negative way.

"Uh, no" Spike said, shaking his head and trying to make some sort of coherent sentence form within his mind, "I, I just don't... bloody hell, luv, how did this happen?" he asked and Buffy smiled in spite of herself.

"You want a diagram?" she asked and he rolled his eyes.

"No" he told her with a look, "Obviously I get how, but... bloody hell" he repeated, and Buffy really thought he was going to run away screaming any second when suddenly he grinned like an idiot and pulled her tight to him, "Oh God, Buffy, this is fantastic" he told her and she looked stunned as she pulled away.

"It is?" she checked, "I mean, you get what this means, right?" she asked him, "I'm having a baby. Your baby. We're going to be parents to a child that's inside me"

"I get the concept, luv" he assured her, "and I know it's not entirely practical but, soddin' hell Buffy, I still love the idea... in case it wasn't obvious already, I love you" he told her sincerely and it was all she could do not to start crying all over again.

"I love you too" she admitted in a small voice, "So much, Spike, you have no idea"

He moved to kiss her then but she backed away, causing a strange look of confusion and hurt to appear on his face.

"I can't kiss you" she told him firmly, "I'd love to but... well there are issues with my breath and all" she admitted, reminding him how ill she'd been a while ago.

"Here" he said, smirking as he dug in his pocket, pulled out a packet of chewing gum and threw it at her, "Make use of that as quick as you like, before the pressure gets to me and I just snog you anyway" he told her with a smile.

His blue eyes sparkled at her, so full of the love he professed to feel. It was more than obvious he meant it, most especially because he was still standing here, moments after she'd told him she was having his child. The fact he was actually pleased about it was a miracle by itself!

"I can't believe you're happy about this" she said, chewing on her gum, and standing a very deliberate two or three feet back from Spike for now, "I mean, we barely know each other, and I'm having your baby. I have Michael to think of and..."

"Buffy" he interrupted, "Look, I know it's not gonna be a walk in the park, I understand that, I'm not completely stupid" he pointed out, "but I never felt like this about anyone before in my whole life. So long as I can be with you somehow I don't care how tough it gets, I can handle it... if you can"

She nodded at that, more tears springing to her eyes.

"I think I can" she agreed, "At least, I wanna try. I have to be with you Spike, any way that I can. I love you so much... You wanna kiss me now?" she asked shyly and she barely had time to breathe before he was there, right in front of her, his arms around her body as his lips claimed hers and he took her breath away in the most beautiful way possible.

"You make me feel like a stupid teenager" Spike told her when they parted for air, "You fill my head, all the bloody time, and when I'm with you I can't think straight..." he stopped talking when he realised she was frowning, "What's up, pet?" he checked.

"You stole my gum!" she caused, making him laugh out loud as he realised she was right, somewhere in amongst their kissing her gum had found it's way into his mouth.

"Well, if you want it, pet" he smirked, "You'll just have to take it back now, won't you?"

"I guess I will" she told him as she rose admirably to the challenge.

It was a while later as the two were walking hand in hand through the park that Buffy started to laugh. Spike asked what was so amusing and when she'd caught her breath enough to answer she explained.

"I was just thinking is all" she smiled, "I had all these daydreams and stuff about seeing you again" she admitted, ducking her head down, really wishing her hair was loose so she could hide behind it right now, "The first time I see you I pass out, next time you save my son's life and, well, we didn't so much talk as... well, y'know" she blushed, "and today I practically throw up all over you, cry like a baby and we finally admit we love each other. It's all kinda lacking the romance" she said, glancing over at Spike who grinned.

"Wouldn't say that, pet" he said, squeezing her hand in his as they stopped walking and he faced her, "Okay so whoever's in charge of fate and all that clearly has a twisted sense of humour where you and me are concerned, but as far as romance goes, didn't you once tell me our first night together was like something out of a romance novel?" he reminded her.

"I did" she nodded, "It was. Nobody ever wanted me so much, nobody ever made me feel like that. You changed my life" she said softly putting a hand to his cheek.

"You changed mine" he replied in kind, "You're still changing it, every minute I'm with you, it's like the world's a whole different place, a better place"

"Same here" she nodded, pushing back more tears.

"That works out nicely then" Spike smiled as he kissed her hand, then leaned in to puts his lips to hers once again.

"Oh bugger" he said suddenly, pulling away and Buffy made a little sound of annoyance at the loss of contact, "I'm sorry, luv" he apologised, "Just realised, I ought to be getting home, get a change of clothes and such. I'm teaching a class in less than half an hour" he told her.

"My God, I had no idea we'd been out here so long" Buffy gasped as she got hold of his wrist and read the time from the watch there.

He walked her back to where her car waited for her, kissing her soundly before she got into the vehicle. She wound the window down almost as soon as she'd closed the door.

"It's crazy" she shook her head, "I have this awful feeling that if I drive away now... well, what if that's it? What if something happens and I never see you again" she said, suddenly looking so young and afraid. Spike leaned in through the open window to kiss her again.

"Now you listen to me Buffy Summers" he said firmly, looking her right in the eyes, "I love you. Love you more than I knew I could love anyone, and yeah, it's gonna be bloody hard work figuring out this situation we've got ourselves into, I'm not denying that" he admitted, "You and me have to get to know each other better, your Dad's not my biggest fan, and then there's your boy Michael, and our little one on the way..." his voice trailed away as he realised there really was a long list of complications involved, but when his eyes met hers again, he knew it didn't matter, "but we will make this work Buffy, I know that. I believe it"

"I do too" she smiled bravely, "Somehow I think maybe I knew from the first night I met you that you'd change my life, and as scary as it is, I'm really glad you did"

"Makes two of us, pet" Spike smiled back at her, claiming one more kiss before they really did have to part. Both of them knew it would not be long before they saw each other again.

To Be Continued...