I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
OoO
Grissom had reluctantly released his hold on Greg to allow the paramedics to take over. He'd hovered over them like a mother hen, quiet but absolute in his intention to stay as close a possible. Their haste in stabilizing the young man and loading him onto the ambulance had done nothing to alleviate his worry over the seriousness of the wound.
Grissom left Brass and his officers to clear the scene. Nick and Jodi joined him in the truck and he followed the ambulance to the hospital. The ride was tense and silent. After they parked and got out Jodi explained that she needed to check on McKenna and she'd meet them as soon as she could to get an update on Greg.
Grissom had paced the waiting room like a caged animal, Nick had stood staring out the window. When the nurse had finally came back with news on Greg, it was not very informative, just that he was in surgery and would most likely be there for a couple of hours. Grissom still called Catherine to have her relay the news to everyone. What seemed like hours later, Gil met Jodi by the elevators. Nick, still upset and unable to formulate a plan of action followed.
"How is he?" Grissom and Jodi ask each other simultaneously.
Grissom laughed nervously and then cleared his throat, "You first."
"It was a through and through, McKenna's going to be fine." She replied.
"All we know is that Greg is stable and he'll be in surgery for at least two hours."
"He's a tough kid."
"What about Rhodes?" Gil asked. "Are they going to charge him?"
"As you know these isn't any forensic evidence linking him to any of the crimes. They have him on assault and kidnapping but I'm afraid that's all we can do."
"Should a killed 'em both," said Nick, "Would have saved us all a lot of trouble."
"You should go home and get some sleep Nick." Said Grissom.
"You'll see things more clearly after you've gotten some rest." Jodi added.
"I'd like to see and hear a hell of a lot less of you!" Nick growled.
Grissom glared at the younger man, "Greg won't be out of surgery for at least two hours and they still won't let anyone see him until he's moved to a room," said Grissom . "Let's all go home and get some rest. We can come back later when we're a little less short-tempered."
Nick gave Jodi a fiery glare before turning back to Grissom, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here until that doctor tells us what's going on." Nick walked over to stare out the window.
"He's a good man." Grissom explained, "He just takes things personally."
"Not a bad quality." Jodi smiled.
"Can I give you a lift back to your car?"
"Thanks but I need to get back with Captain Brass and finish up my report." Her shoulders tensed, "My boss is wanting an update on this mess."
"I guess we're all staying then."
"You're not going to take your own advice?"
"I give advice, I never follow."
Jodi shook her head and chuckled, "Typical male."
"Are you profiling me?"
"Impossible," Collapsing onto one of the uncomfortable chairs she pulled out her laptop and opened the case file she was working on. "you don't really fit into any known category."
Grissom laughed, "Then I'll let you get back to your report."
The cursor blinked where she'd ended the report two days ago. She read over the last couple of lines and shivered. Eighth victim: Greg Sanders C.O.D. Undetermined – body not recovered.
There had to be an end to this. Closure of some kind. This case was affecting her like no other had, but this case involved a living breathing victim not one of the silent ghosts that so often imprinted themselves indelibly in her memory.
'Is it selfish of me to want him to survive?' she asked herself. 'Am I doing him an unkindness in forcing him to live with the horrors he's endured?'
She erased the final entry, making the decision that there would be no eighth victim for the Taser Killer. She had several weeks of vacation time accumulated and Vegas seemed like as good a place to spend them as any.
Two hours of waiting, pacing the hospital, and drinking coffee that would probably eat the wax off the floor if it spilled. Two hours of wondering if the whole thing had been some kind of nightmare, a hallucination brought on by stress and lack of sleep. Two hours of worrying about what the next action would be. Would the surgeons have good news or bad?
When the doctor finally came in, the expression on his face made Nick's stomach clench.
"He's quite a fighter," the surgeon said tiredly. "It wasn't an easy procedure. The blade missed the major veins and arteries but it did pierce the apex of the heart. I was able to suture the cut but he needs to stay calm so he doesn't tear the stitches."
"Can we see him?" Nick asked.
"Yes. He's pretty weak though. Which means he'll tire easily, so don't stay long."
Nick smiled for the first time in hours, he sighed in relief, "Thanks Doc."
They followed the nurse down to the room where Greg lay. Nick went inside, standing silently by the bed while Grissom and agent Duncan spoke softly outside.
Grissom rubbed his tired eyes with the back of his hand, "Tell me that wasn't what it looked like."
"I wish I could, but we both saw it."
"Saw what?" Nick asked.
"Forget it Nick. It doesn't concern you."
"If it's about Greg it's my concern." Nick said, joining them in the doorway. "Greg is my friend."
"McKenna said he didn't stab Greg." Jodi said.
"I don't give a damn about what kind of a crazy lie he gave the cops." Nick retorted. "I saw that bastard stab him."
"That's not what happened Nick." Said Grissom.
"Are you crazy? We saw it! McKenna tried to kill him!"
"McKenna was trying to get away from him."
"Bullshit!" Nick said, "He was trying to kill Greg and get away. That's why Brass shot him and it's a pity Brass didn't kill him!"
OoO
Greg woke slowly, to the sound of angry voices. He recognized Nick's accent and Grissom's dull whisper of a yell. He lifted his right hand, pulled off the nasal canula letting it drop to the floor. The arguing continued, now with a woman's voice he vaguely remembered. He let his fingers flutter over his bandaged chest, catching on the cardiac monitor leads. He yanked them off, the steady blip ceased and was replaced by a long annoying tone that grated on his nerves. He pulled on the tube that protruded from the left side of his chest, the pain was excruciating. His scream echoed into the hall and he lost consciousness.
OoO
"Calm down or they're going to make us leave." Jodi reasoned.
Nick glared at her and took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. "Greg wouldn't do that." He said calmly. "He's not suicidal."
"Greg's been through a lot lately. He's not thinking clearly and he …"
"You don't know Greg so why don't you just keep your lunatic opinions to yourself!"
Jodi's angry reply was drowned out by the alarm from inside Greg's room. Nurses pulled them away as medical personnel flooded the room.
OoO
Xombe – It just seemed like the sort of thing Nick would say.
ladyjr16 – Yes he will live, I cannot kill the Greg, he's too cute to die (yet anyway)
Lizack – I'm glad you found me, encouraging reviews are … encouraging!
Emmithar – hmmm… kill Hodges. I think I have another plot bunny!
CatherineLouise – Thank you! Sometimes I'm afraid to put in to much detail, it seems like TMI that the reader may not be interested in so it's a balancing act between getting a good feel for the situation and overkill with boring details. I'm glad it's making you cry evil grin Have another box of tissues!
a random - THANK YOU! I'm glad you are enjoying it so far; I hope I won't disappoint you.
Lins - They don't always remember to show how much they care but they really do.
Sillie – Isn't it fun to torture poor Greggie just so we can snuggle him!
Doggies45 – I'm not much of a romance writer but the last scene was written just for YOU! Sara spends a lot of time with Greg in S5 so it seems she'd develop some feelings for him.
Mellaithwen – Yep, I LOVE GREG ANGST! And you were right, Greg knew who he was talking to, he just didn't want Grissom to rescue him. Thank you for adding to the plot, it didn't occur to me that they might have seen Greg. I listen to music almost constantly, so sometimes lyrics and song titles are just too perfect for chapter and story titles, gotta use them!
Eveningshade – Believe it or not until last week I'd only seen a few of the episodes, mostly S3 and S4. Finally got TV and get to see S1 on Spike and S5 on local. OH THE PLOT BUNNIES! It seems like Gil, Brass and Sara have changed drastically since S1 or maybe that's just me…
Anywho, I'm glad you're enjoying it and I hope to keep you coming back for more!
tvspaz626 – I do have a fic where Greg dies but I haven't done much with it yet, this story has kind of taken over all my imagination at the moment and I don't plan on him dying in this, just tons and tons of angst!
Loozy - hands Loozy a super size box of tissues I guess that means you like it? Well get ready for more angst!
xCrimsonxBlackxBloodx – I have the absolute best beta in the known universes! I finally got to see the ep where Nick utters that line to Catherine and it just seemed to fit perfectly there.
I like a little humor, it kind of kicks up the angst a little more and I have to admit it but I thought McKenna's 'they just die' was pretty funny too!
Huggles to you my faithful reader, I live to serve!
Matteic- I hear that word connected with my name rather frequently LOL!
mellowyellow36 - Thanks, I hope I continue to keep you entertained
Annibal - Merci. Vous êtes trop gentil. Merci pour lire et prendre le temps pour réexaminer, il signifie beaucoup à moi, Le Harper et Greg angst à jamais !
DisclaimerI do NOT own CSI or the characters portrayed therein. I do NOT own the copywrite to the words to the songs used – Untitled is the property of Simple Plan, the lullaby Sara sings is a song my mother used to sing, where it came from I have no idea and sadly I cannot ask her. I make no money from this endeavor, however the feedback whether good or flames makes me smile, thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed and even those of you who only read!
A/N: To my beta Fwe: Without your unwavering assistance this would be just a rambling mess of spelling and punctuation errors. When the muse has abandoned me in crucial parts, you have always stepped in and made it gold. When I asked for a beta, I said it would be only a couple of chapters, about 25,000 words and when it snowballed into this, you stuck with me. You took time out of your weekends to beta the chapters and rush them back to me. Thanks for all your help – YOU'RE AWESOME!
And to my favorite authors: It is by reading other people's work that I get inspiration for my own, thank you for sharing your stories with me.
Any praise that is given to me for my work is partially yours, flames are for my garden, it keeps the lizards warm ;P