~Chapter 6~
It didn't take long for Fiyero and me to pick up the ends of the ties where our friendship had left off so many years ago. I would never in a million and one years have believed that one day I would be sitting at a table with Fiyero doing exactly the same thing we had done on the day he rediscovered me in the temple of Saint Glinda; just talking to each other. It felt wonderful to finally be able to talk to someone; I mean really talking with him, not just formalities and terse conversations like those I used to exchange with Sarima. With his help I no longer remembered only those memories of what I had lost, but also the days when our whole group, Fiyero and I, Glinda, Boq, Crope and Tibbet, and even Nessarose, would spend long hours together at some of our various haunts back in Shiz. Somewhere in our long train of reminiscing the subject of my voice came into question.
"Do you remember that one night when the whole lot of us were in that bar, and Nessa started saying something how you used to sing for your father?"
"Oh, yes, how could I forget? That was mortifying." I answered, shaking my head and smiling a little.
"But you had such a beautiful voice. It was a good thing we made you sing that night, or we would've dragged you into a dance hall and made you sing for everyone there." he laughed.
"It was bad enough being stared at by everyone in the bar – as if I wasn't stared at enough already, but the singing was humiliation incarnate." I retaliated.
"Stop arguing with me, Elphaba-Fabala-Elphie-Fae, you have a beautiful voice and you know it. If only you would use it more often."
"What did you call me?" I asked, staring intently at him.
"Elphaba-Fabala-Elphie-Fae, my old pet name for you." Fiyero said, cocking his head to the side in an expression of mock confusion. My smile widened a little, and I cast my eyes down, my cheeks coloring a hideous mix between pink and emerald. I hadn't blushed like that since the two of us had begun conducting our love affair close to twenty years ago.
"No one's called me any of those names since what seems like forever ago. It's like a wake-up call now. No one's even called me Elphaba in years. To your family I was always Auntie Witch."
"Oh, really? Then I guess I'll just have to get you back into the habit of hearing your own name, then, won't I, Fabala-Fae?" he said, smirking. Before long the both of us were laughing at his continued usage of my name after every three words, giggling like teenagers again.
Before long, however, the conversation took a more serious turn. Ultimately I approached the topic of the Wizard, and I explained to him my plan for eventual revenge.
"You've tried your hand at assassination before, Elphie, and you and I both know how we ended up after that." he cautioned. "I've never looked at Lurlinemas Eve the same way after that night." It was true. Neither of us had. That was the night he had acquired the wounds that had caused his scars and the permanent limp in his walk. I still felt responsible for that, no matter how many times he assured me I wasn't. I would always carry the weight of his pain on my shoulders. It took some persuasion, but ultimately I managed to convince Fiyero to help me execute my vengeance. I knew he would; Fiyero wasn't the type of man to stand by and let someone enact such torture as the Wizard had on so many innocent people like himself, his family, the Animals, the Quadlings, and others like them. I could tell that he was just as angered at the Wizard as I was for everything he had done to us, but he was reluctant to voice it to me. He still feared for me after all these years, but once again I was too hell-bent on the success of my mission to heed his words of warning. I would kill the Wizard; he would be the one person whose blood would rightfully be on my hands.
I knew he was afraid that our history would repeat itself and that this time it would really end in death; I shared the same fear but tried my best to hide it from both him and myself as well. I couldn't back down now, not after I had thought my whole plot out so carefully, not after what Sarima had said to me in the vision; "Find him, Elphaba. Find Fiyero. Help him avenge the deaths of his family." I had let her whole family down once, and I was determined not to let that happen again. I had hurt enough people in my lifetime to know how heavy the weight of guilt that falls on you could feel.
Before we knew it, it felt to both of us like the twenty-year separation had never occurred and we were as close as we'd ever been. I realized I cared for him now more than I ever had and I knew our companionship had progressed to a deeper state of friendship than either of us had ever felt. After a week or so of living together, as I had nowhere else to go, Fiyero and I fell into a daily routine; we would wake, shove something down our throats for breakfast, I would work some on untangling the little snares that had come up in my plot against the Wizard, and he would do whatever it was he did all day. When I would emerge from my little corner of the house (if you could call it that), I could often see him playing with Chistery, trying to teach my monkey new words. Mostly, Fiyero got gibberish out Chistery, but it was fun to watch.
One day I was sitting at the table, frustration creasing my forehead, when I sighed in despair. Fiyero put my monkey down and Chistery scampered up onto the table, sitting on the Grimmerie. He started petting my face, cocking his head in what passes for concern in winged snow monkeys, and I laughed. Fiyero pulled a chair beside mine and wrapped an arm around me.
"What's the matter, Fabala-Fae? You look overly stressed."
"When have you known me not to be stressed?"
"Well, more than usual, anyway. Do you want to enlighten me?"
"I need help with this. Magic was never my strong suit, but I'll never be able to pull this off without it. The only one who could possibly help me is – well, she'd never agree to it. I've changed so much she probably won't even recognize me. Well, I mean of course she'd know who I am, but for one she'd never believe it's me, and for another, this is murder I'm trying to pull, here. She's too pristine for that."
"I think I know who you're getting at, Fabala-Fae."
"Well, if you haven't a way to get her to talk to me, knowing who it is won't help me much."
"Forget about all this for a little while. You've been slaving over this book for hours today, give yourself a little break here and there. Come on, I know there's not much to do around here, but leave off work for a little while."
I looked at him as if he was crazy. I was always the workaholic, and I needed to get this done sooner rather than later.
"Please, Elphie?"
"Oh, alright. Fine." I sighed, giving in to him and resting my chin in my palms. He planted a kiss on my temple and I looked up at him in incredulity. I had never guessed that would ever happen to me again; kisses were reserved for those in love, and I most definitely didn't believe love would ever touch me again.
"What was that for?" I asked. Fiyero took my face in his hand and caught my line of sight with his.
"I still do love you, Elphie. I was afraid to come after you once the Gale Forcers got at me, but once I shut myself up in this godsforsaken hidey-hole and everyone presumed me dead, I could hardly go around asking about you and where you'd gone. It would've put you in danger more so than it would have me. Believe me, I've wanted so badly to find you but I could never find a way to go about it that wouldn't hurt both of us in the end. I'm so sorry, Elphie."
I was speechless. All I could do was stare at him, my mouth open in astonishment. He laughed at the look on my face as I tried to compose myself.
"Why do you, I mean, I don't understand it. How can you still find it in you to put up with me after all – all I've done, to you, to your family - ?"
He put a finger to my lips to silence me. "None of it was your fault. I am telling you, you never meant for any of it to happen, so don't pile so much undeserved guilt onto yourself. Please, believe me, okay?"
"Fiyero, I -"
"Elphaba, stop. Don't take responsibility for crimes you never committed. Just listen to someone else's advice for once, alright?" He brushed his lips softly against mine, and all other cares that had been weighing on me dissolved like smoke in the wind. At that moment I was happier than I had ever been in my life, a feat that moments ago I never thought I would be able to accomplish.
It didn't take long for Fiyero and me to pick up the ends of the ties where our friendship had left off so many years ago. I would never in a million and one years have believed that one day I would be sitting at a table with Fiyero doing exactly the same thing we had done on the day he rediscovered me in the temple of Saint Glinda; just talking to each other. It felt wonderful to finally be able to talk to someone; I mean really talking with him, not just formalities and terse conversations like those I used to exchange with Sarima. With his help I no longer remembered only those memories of what I had lost, but also the days when our whole group, Fiyero and I, Glinda, Boq, Crope and Tibbet, and even Nessarose, would spend long hours together at some of our various haunts back in Shiz. Somewhere in our long train of reminiscing the subject of my voice came into question.
"Do you remember that one night when the whole lot of us were in that bar, and Nessa started saying something how you used to sing for your father?"
"Oh, yes, how could I forget? That was mortifying." I answered, shaking my head and smiling a little.
"But you had such a beautiful voice. It was a good thing we made you sing that night, or we would've dragged you into a dance hall and made you sing for everyone there." he laughed.
"It was bad enough being stared at by everyone in the bar – as if I wasn't stared at enough already, but the singing was humiliation incarnate." I retaliated.
"Stop arguing with me, Elphaba-Fabala-Elphie-Fae, you have a beautiful voice and you know it. If only you would use it more often."
"What did you call me?" I asked, staring intently at him.
"Elphaba-Fabala-Elphie-Fae, my old pet name for you." Fiyero said, cocking his head to the side in an expression of mock confusion. My smile widened a little, and I cast my eyes down, my cheeks coloring a hideous mix between pink and emerald. I hadn't blushed like that since the two of us had begun conducting our love affair close to twenty years ago.
"No one's called me any of those names since what seems like forever ago. It's like a wake-up call now. No one's even called me Elphaba in years. To your family I was always Auntie Witch."
"Oh, really? Then I guess I'll just have to get you back into the habit of hearing your own name, then, won't I, Fabala-Fae?" he said, smirking. Before long the both of us were laughing at his continued usage of my name after every three words, giggling like teenagers again.
Before long, however, the conversation took a more serious turn. Ultimately I approached the topic of the Wizard, and I explained to him my plan for eventual revenge.
"You've tried your hand at assassination before, Elphie, and you and I both know how we ended up after that." he cautioned. "I've never looked at Lurlinemas Eve the same way after that night." It was true. Neither of us had. That was the night he had acquired the wounds that had caused his scars and the permanent limp in his walk. I still felt responsible for that, no matter how many times he assured me I wasn't. I would always carry the weight of his pain on my shoulders. It took some persuasion, but ultimately I managed to convince Fiyero to help me execute my vengeance. I knew he would; Fiyero wasn't the type of man to stand by and let someone enact such torture as the Wizard had on so many innocent people like himself, his family, the Animals, the Quadlings, and others like them. I could tell that he was just as angered at the Wizard as I was for everything he had done to us, but he was reluctant to voice it to me. He still feared for me after all these years, but once again I was too hell-bent on the success of my mission to heed his words of warning. I would kill the Wizard; he would be the one person whose blood would rightfully be on my hands.
I knew he was afraid that our history would repeat itself and that this time it would really end in death; I shared the same fear but tried my best to hide it from both him and myself as well. I couldn't back down now, not after I had thought my whole plot out so carefully, not after what Sarima had said to me in the vision; "Find him, Elphaba. Find Fiyero. Help him avenge the deaths of his family." I had let her whole family down once, and I was determined not to let that happen again. I had hurt enough people in my lifetime to know how heavy the weight of guilt that falls on you could feel.
Before we knew it, it felt to both of us like the twenty-year separation had never occurred and we were as close as we'd ever been. I realized I cared for him now more than I ever had and I knew our companionship had progressed to a deeper state of friendship than either of us had ever felt. After a week or so of living together, as I had nowhere else to go, Fiyero and I fell into a daily routine; we would wake, shove something down our throats for breakfast, I would work some on untangling the little snares that had come up in my plot against the Wizard, and he would do whatever it was he did all day. When I would emerge from my little corner of the house (if you could call it that), I could often see him playing with Chistery, trying to teach my monkey new words. Mostly, Fiyero got gibberish out Chistery, but it was fun to watch.
One day I was sitting at the table, frustration creasing my forehead, when I sighed in despair. Fiyero put my monkey down and Chistery scampered up onto the table, sitting on the Grimmerie. He started petting my face, cocking his head in what passes for concern in winged snow monkeys, and I laughed. Fiyero pulled a chair beside mine and wrapped an arm around me.
"What's the matter, Fabala-Fae? You look overly stressed."
"When have you known me not to be stressed?"
"Well, more than usual, anyway. Do you want to enlighten me?"
"I need help with this. Magic was never my strong suit, but I'll never be able to pull this off without it. The only one who could possibly help me is – well, she'd never agree to it. I've changed so much she probably won't even recognize me. Well, I mean of course she'd know who I am, but for one she'd never believe it's me, and for another, this is murder I'm trying to pull, here. She's too pristine for that."
"I think I know who you're getting at, Fabala-Fae."
"Well, if you haven't a way to get her to talk to me, knowing who it is won't help me much."
"Forget about all this for a little while. You've been slaving over this book for hours today, give yourself a little break here and there. Come on, I know there's not much to do around here, but leave off work for a little while."
I looked at him as if he was crazy. I was always the workaholic, and I needed to get this done sooner rather than later.
"Please, Elphie?"
"Oh, alright. Fine." I sighed, giving in to him and resting my chin in my palms. He planted a kiss on my temple and I looked up at him in incredulity. I had never guessed that would ever happen to me again; kisses were reserved for those in love, and I most definitely didn't believe love would ever touch me again.
"What was that for?" I asked. Fiyero took my face in his hand and caught my line of sight with his.
"I still do love you, Elphie. I was afraid to come after you once the Gale Forcers got at me, but once I shut myself up in this godsforsaken hidey-hole and everyone presumed me dead, I could hardly go around asking about you and where you'd gone. It would've put you in danger more so than it would have me. Believe me, I've wanted so badly to find you but I could never find a way to go about it that wouldn't hurt both of us in the end. I'm so sorry, Elphie."
I was speechless. All I could do was stare at him, my mouth open in astonishment. He laughed at the look on my face as I tried to compose myself.
"Why do you, I mean, I don't understand it. How can you still find it in you to put up with me after all – all I've done, to you, to your family - ?"
He put a finger to my lips to silence me. "None of it was your fault. I am telling you, you never meant for any of it to happen, so don't pile so much undeserved guilt onto yourself. Please, believe me, okay?"
"Fiyero, I -"
"Elphaba, stop. Don't take responsibility for crimes you never committed. Just listen to someone else's advice for once, alright?" He brushed his lips softly against mine, and all other cares that had been weighing on me dissolved like smoke in the wind. At that moment I was happier than I had ever been in my life, a feat that moments ago I never thought I would be able to accomplish.