Chap. 16 – A light shining through

"Greg?" Sara gasped.

"Oh no kjære deg, it is my father."

"Thank God! Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean that I meant…"

Ella smiled ruefully, "It is okay, I know. It is not unexpected, my father was very sick when I left."

"There is a funeral home a couple of blocks over," Catherine volunteered, "Nice people, they'll help you."

"I will come." said Olaf.

"No Olaf, I will be fine, you stay and wait for news on Gregers please."

"I'll come with you." Grissom insisted.

"It is very kind of you Mr. Grissom."

"Call me Gil please."

"Thank you Gil." Ella picked up her purse and settled the bear in Sara's arms. "Take care of him for me?" She asked

"Of course." Sara agreed.

"Now Gil we go, take care of the things we must then come back to hear my son's voice."

She said determinedly.

OoOo

"Vekker min sønn."

"Jeg fryser, la meg sove."

"I know you are cold min kjær," she rubbed his hands between hers, "But I've come a long ways and I don't want to sit here and watch you sleep."

"Mamma?" Greg's eyes opened slowly, "Is it really you?"

"Yes, it really is. You gave me quite a fright."

"I'm sorry." He replied sleepily, "Is Papa Hojem here?"

"No dear one."

"But you can't leave…"

"It is not for you to worry over my sweet, my Papa is safe."

"It's so cold in here." He complained.

"It's to make you better little one."

He ignored the endearment that he usually protested, "By turning me into a popsicle?"

"You'll be warmer soon, I promise." she continued to chafe his hands.

Greg turned his face to the wall and began to shake.

Alarmed, she drew him close, "Greggars?"

"I'm sorry mamma I just wish I..."

"I am very proud of you Greg. There is nothing you could ever do to make me love you less. You are far from home and I worry for you." She said. "I wish you would come back home."

"I can't." he sobbed, "I can't go back like this."

"No one would blame you," she comforted, "I told you this place was bad, please, please Greggars come home with me. I need you now that –"

"Let the boy be Ella," Olaf interrupted, "he needs time to heal." He closed the door behind him.

Ella started to speak again and Olaf shook his head, "His friends worry, let them see him and you and I can get some coffee."

Once out in the hall, Olaf spoke softly, "I know that your grief is heavy but now is not the time to lay this burden on him." Olaf cautioned, "You know that he will feel responsible and he will do what ever you wish in order to make up for it but you know that if he comes back to Norway he will wither away. He needs this place, these people, Greggars is not like us, he needs challenges. What is there for him in Norway? Would you have him to work at the diner? The packing plant or the warehouse? You have to let him go or you will lose him. Do not tether him to you with a noose of guilt."

Ella wiped at the tears that streamed down her face, "I want him to be happy but I fear for him."

"We all do but we must let him make the choices no matter how hard it is for us."

"But I –"

"If he comes home now, under these circumstances it will be but months and he will grow angry and resentful. You can't cage a spirit such as his."

OooOoo

"You must think I'm a waste of skin."

"I think that you are human." Grissom said. "An extraordinary person who has more strength than even he knows."

"I've been so stupid."

"Everyone makes mistakes, it's how we learn."

"I want to quit."

"No you don't."

"How do you know?"

"Greg you are the most inquisitive, persistent person I've ever known. You have never let the opinions of other people hold you back from something you wanted."

"Well I don't want this anymore."

"That's your choice but I think you're making the decision without thinking it through. Take some time off, go back with your mother and grandfather for a little while but don't close the door on everything you have here." He started for the door but Greg's soft voice made him pause.

"Thanks Grissom."

"For what?"

"For not giving up on me. For not letting me give up on me."

"You're not just a co-worker Greg, you're my friend and friends never abandon each other."

OoOo

"You sang to me."

"You heard that?"

"Yeah, it was nice."

"well uh," Sara blushed, "don't expect it to happen again."

"You have a beautiful voice."

"Only when I think no one is listening." she sat the bear on the bed next to him, "Catherine had to leave but she brought this for you."

Greg looked at the bear and laughed.

"Linds made it for you I think you two look a lot alike." Sara teased.

"I'm not sure if that was a compliment or not."

"Of course it is, he's an adorable little bear." Sara grinned.

Greg stared at Sara for a moment then seeming satisfied with something he smiled, "Tell Linds and Catherine thank you for me."

"I will." she leaned over and kissed his forehead, "'night Greg."

"G'night Sara."

OoOo

"Hey buddy." Nick greeted.

"Hey."

Awkward silence reined for a moment then they spoke at the same time saying the exact same words. "I'm sorry."

"I was a jerk." Said Greg.

"No I was."

Again the silence took over, neither seemed to know what to say.

"You know," Nick began, "after that Nigel Crane thing I almost packed it in and went back to Texas. I couldn't handle being in my apartment or around any of ya'll. I thought I was goin' crazy." His voice was thick. "I was … I felt weak and it shamed me to think that you saw me that way."

"You were afraid?"

"Every day G."

"But you never showed it."

"And you have no idea how much that cost me. I got to the point where I couldn't sleep, I was scared to be alone and I hated bein' around people."

"What did you do?"

"I asked for help. I told Grissom."

"He never said anything."

"Of course not, he's my friend. We're all your friends Greg, if you just let us in we can help you."

"You won't think …"

"We don't judge each other and we don't compare notes on what's goin' on in everyone's lives. Trust us, we just want to have you back again."

Greg was silent again, thinking about the things that Nick had said.

"Take some time if you need to, just don't shut us out okay?" He grasped Greg's hand, a quick squeeze and then he was gone.

OooOooO

"Do you remember me?"

"Agent Duncan."

"I won't stay long, I know you need to rest but I …" She hesitated swallowing hard and seemed to find an interesting spot on the ceiling for several minutes. When she looked back at him her eyes were sparkling with unshed tears. "I just wondered what your plans were …" she paused rubbing a hand across her eyes, "when you get out of here."

"I'm going back to Norway with my mom." Greg replied. "For a little while at least. Think things over and maybe I'll come back here, I don't know yet."

Jodi coughed, "You'll keep in touch with your friends I hope."

Greg smiled, "You sound like a psychiatrist." At her look of hurt surprise he added, "That's not a bad thing. You helped me a lot."

"I'm just doing my job."

"If that were true I think you'd be spending less time with me and more time with… them."

She didn't try to hide the tears as she stepped closer and pulled him into a hug, "We gotta stick together you know, in helping others we help ourselves."

"You sound like Yoda now." Greg laughed and wiped at his own tears.

"That's what I told the woman who told it to me."

"Linking together makes a stronger chain?"

"I think that's a new one that I'll use too if you don't mind."

"Pass it on, I don't mind."

Jodi pressed a small book into his hands, "Keep a journal, it helps chase the nightmares away and I put my numbers in there and my e-mail if you ever need me."

"Thanks." He said, "Do you have to go now?"

"I have to finish up my report and then I have some vacation time coming up."

"Where are you going?"

She smiled, "I haven't decided just yet."

"Vegas is a fun place," Greg grinned mischievously, "Grissom could show you the sights."

"I think I might just do that for a little while." She smiled back at him, "Then I think I'll visit a friend in Michigan."

"Really?"

"Are there any touristy things to do in Norway, Michigan?"

"I may know a few."

Epilogue –

Bradley McKenna recovered fully from his gunshot wounds. Charged with multiple counts of kidnapping, assault and murder he is serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole at the Nadler Psychiatric Detention Center. He is considered to be a model citizen and assists in teaching other prisoners to paint.

Bruce Rhodes was found guilty of conspiracy to commit murder, kidnapping and aiding and abetting in the commission of a felony. He is currently serving a thirty year sentence at the maximum security prison in Reno.

After the trial, the portraits McKenna painted were all destroyed despite protests from gallery owner Richard Forrest. The sole existing portrait, of Greg, has of this date never been recovered. The identity of the buyer still remains a mystery.

OoOo

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and Ze Queen of Bleu

– you are awesome people every one of you.

I hope I didn't miss anyone, you've all been wonderful, encouraging me every step and that makes you important to me. If you tried to prod the muse by writing to me at Hotmail, I'm sorry I didn't get that but the e-mail problem has been fixed.

xCrimsonxBlackxBloodx – Thanks for letting me bounce ideas off you.

Princess Artemis – Thanks for sharing your wealth of Greg Sanders facts.

Camilla Sandman – Thank you for taking the time to help me with translations and answering my pesky and often oddball questions about Norwegians.

Nikki, who was determined to track me down and found me, this chapter is all because of you. I don't know where the muse went but not long after your wrote me, the story came back and I was able to finish it.

Fwe – I can't thank you enough for sticking it out with me. When I asked for a beta I said it would be a short story, just a couple of pages. I never dreamed it would turn into an editorial nightmare of 25,000 words (and 68,382 unnecessary commas). Through illness, working on your own fics and personal tragedies you've kept me going. You are the world's best beta.

If you can tolerate complete drivel I've also posted for the morbidly curious, the original ending that I tried to write just to finish it off after the muse abandoned me. I warn you it's not a pretty thing, even Fwe's muses ran away after she read it. But just think, you got a much better ending because you were so patient.

You'd think I'd learn to make back up copies of my fics but I haven't. I have them on my hard drive and on my jump drive – the computer crashes and some motherless son of a dog steals my jump drive and it's all gone. Anyone who writes knows how difficult it is to start over on something you've poured your heart into and you know that the second result is never as good as the first and that makes it sometimes too difficult to even attempt.

Thank you everyone, for sticking with me when I had given up.

Cat