A/N: Because people seemed to expect a sequel…
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Death and the Uchiha
by Shadow Crystal Mage
Disclaimer: I don't own, please don't sue. Yes, this is Gaiman's Death. Imagine either the Bachalo version or the Jill Thompson version, although I prefer the latter.
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"Sasuke, do you have a death wish?" Kakashi asked idly as Sasuke returned from catching Naruto just before the blond fell off the waterfall.
A strange look crossed the Uchiha's face. "Why do you say that, sensei?"
"Well, there's this, and then that time you nearly got yourself killed by that kid in Wave Country, and before that, there were the Demon Brothers…"
Sasuke's lip twitched. "And if I said I did?"
Kakashi shrugged.
"Sasuke-kun-"
"NO!"
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"Who are you?" Sasuke asked the strange woman who was nonchalantly seated on top of the wall, writing on a scroll and humming to herself.
The woman blinked. "Oh! I didn't think there'd be anyone here! I hope I'm not disturbing you."
"Why are you here?"
"I'm here because it's my job."
"Your job?"
"Oh, silly me, I forgot to introduce myself. I am Death…"
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Sasuke was waiting for the opportunity to ditch his team so he could head home and see if she was there when he heard a voice call out his name. Normally, he'd just ignore such a call, but not this time. This time, his head turned so fast in the direction it came from, there was an audible cracking sound. Naruto and Kakashi winced in sympathy, and Sakura blinked. He didn't care.
A girl was walking towards them, waving as she strode. She wore black, as usual. This time it was a black shirt similar to his, except a little tighter, especially around the chest, and black pants, also similar to his, also tighter. Black bandages wound around her calves, and black hose-like leather accessories wound around her arms. Very much like his. The only thing she lack was the forehead protector and the kunai and shuriken pouch and holster. Around her neck was the silver ankh.
"Hey, Sasuke-kun," she said casually, kissing him on the cheek.
Sakura's jaw dropped all the way to the ground.
"What are you doing here?" he said in surprise, completely missing the looks his teammates had on.
She smiled her dazzling smile, and said, "Oh, I wanted to see if we could have lunch. Um, aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?"
Sasuke blinked, reality slamming back into his mind, as he realized his image was probably on it's way to being completely blown. Surprisingly, he didn't care as much as he thought he would. Taking one single breath, he turned towards his team mates, seeing their expressions for the first time. Kakashi's visible eye was obviously boggling, Naruto had on that look of his, and Sakura… looked like her hopes and dreams had been completely crushed.
Which it all nearly had. Nearly. It was a hair away from being completely.
Sasuke cleared his throat, shot a look at her out of the corner of his eye, and decided he really didn't care about the image. "Dee, this is Kakashi-sensei, and my teammates Uzuamki Naruto and Haruno Sakura. Minna, this is-"
"Telute," she broke in, before Sasuke could even pause to wonder how he should introduce her. "It's great to finally meet all of you! Sas' been telling me about you guys!"
"'Sas'?" Sakura repeated, her eyebrow twitching, a vein on her forehead throbbing.
"Hey, I know!" Death-but-now-called-Telute said, clapping her hands before her and not seeming to notice Sakura's reaction. "Why don't we all have lunch together! Sasuke's treat!"
"Wha-?" Sasuke managed to get out, just before being dragged by his arm in the general direction of some restaurant.
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Sasuke paled when he saw where Telute had dragged him to. Well, pale-r. The only way he could get any worse was if he took on her skin tone. "Please tell me we're not going in there?" he pleaded.
"Why not?" Telute asked.
Sasuke felt like squirming. "That's where my fangirls hang out for lunch!" he hissed.
"So?" Telute asked cheerily, dragging him inside, an amused Kakashi, a stunned-and-in-shock Sakura and a… Naruto-y Naruto trailing behind.
Sasuke nearly turned around and ran away screaming when he saw every major fangirl of his had decided to have lunch there at that exact moment. Even Ino was there.
Her touched made him stay however. Her had holding on to his, cool against his flesh. How did she do that?
Telute led him to a table in the center of the restaurant. Sasuke tried to quash the urge to look around. Fangirls, fangirls everywhere! There was no escape! He'd be spotted from every direction if he tried to bolt…!
The hand on his. He calmed down? Why would he bolt? He was exactly where he wanted to be. With her…
He heard the whispering, curious, suspicious and outraged, wondering who she was, wondering what she was doing holding his hand. Fools. She was the only one with any right to…! She was the only one he wanted to hold…
After they ordered, Ino seemingly appeared out of nowhere, walking up to Sakura. "Hey, forehead-girl, who's your friend?"
Sakura just blinked, not fully recovered yet.
"Oh, I'm Sasuke's fiancé," Telute said.
A silence fell over the whole restaurant, broken as many classes were broken under the suddenly crushing grips of many kunoichi.
Sasuke blinked, suddenly feeling light-headed. "You are?" he said.
She turned to him, pouting. "Unless you don't want me to be?" she said, her lower lip quivering.
In public, in broad daylight, in full view of the majority of his most rabid fangirls, who would gladly walk a mile through lava barefoot to please him, Sasuke grabbed Telute and kissed her.
"I think he's okay with it," Kakashi said as every girl in the immediate vicinity fainted, choked, broke into hysterics, puked and/or broke more stuff, not necessarily in that order.
"When's the food going to get here?" Naruto asked, wondering why girls were acting weirder than usual around Sasuke. Hmm, must be a girl thing.
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In fifteen minutes, the news that Uchiha Sasuke had a fiancé had spread to every corner of Konoha. Three days later, word had spread through the whole country. By the end of the week, the whole known world knew.
Eight days later, Akatsuki was nearly eradicated, as Uchiha Itachi forcefully convinced his associates to stop teasing him. He would have a word with Sasuke. Missing-nin or not, he was still head of the family, after all! It was up to him whether or not a clan member got married!
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Orochimaru decided to up his plans. If the brat was getting married… this didn't bode well.
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The Collective Sasuke Fangirls of Konoha ™ all twitched as Sauke and Death- well, just Sasuke, really- Sasuke finally came up for air. "When?" was all he said.
"When you're an adult."
He tapped his forehead protector.
"Oh, yeah. How soon do you want to get married?"
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A/N: The Shinigami is either an 'incarnation' of Death, or one of her secretaries/assistants. I do not want it to be Death herself. That would be too gross.
I always wanted to call Sasuke 'Sas'.
I do not to make this into an 'epic'. C-A-T-H-A-R-S-I-S!
Please review, C&C welcome.
Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.