~Chapter 14~
We spent the rest of the day trying to find a way to keep Glinda alive past the two days she was allotted before her trial. Maybe a better way to say how we spent the day would be that we wasted it alternating between keeping her composed enough not to panic and Fiyero and I trying to keep ourselves composed to think clearly enough to devise a plan. As the hours passed nothing much had been accomplished, and it only resulted in Glinda's becoming more distraught than she already was.
"Can't you just magic yourself away to somewhere far from here? You've had magical training; I mean, you're a powerful witch. There's got to be some spell, somewhere…" I said, frustrated, feverishly turning the pages of the hateful magic book sitting on my worktable.
"If it was possible I would've already been somewhere they'd never look for me." she answered, perching herself at the edge of the bed and staring fixedly at the opposite wall.
"What do you mean 'if it was possible'?"
"When I was – detained – that night in the palace –"
"Detained? How much time did you waste just standing there surveying your gory handiwork before it dawned on you that you'd be pursued?" I asked incredulously. I hadn't thought her to be that slow on the uptake.
"You forget that there were two other guards in the room off the Wizard's study that hadn't any idea that you were ever there. They thought I was the only other one in the room and they came in a moment or two after you fled." she snapped before going on, "The man who would become Oz's new ruler, well, he's had magical instruction himself, and he made sure there was some enchantment laid over me to keep me from doing any form of magic, however insignificant the spell might be. I'd never heard of the particular charm they used, and it was too strong for me to throw off at the time. You can only fight it as it's being cast; once it's been completed you can't shake it off, no matter how powerful you are."
"Maybe there's a counter-charm in here we could…"
"Elphie, give it up," she sighed, "I'm currently unable to use magic to do anything, let alone to aid me in escape, and you – you've never been any great shakes at it yourself if you don't mind my saying."
I curled my fingers around the edge of the table, digging my nails into the wood. I stared at the tabletop with such intensity that I could've sworn they were burning holes right through it. I knew she was right; there was nothing to be gained from denying my lack of ability in all things sorceric. I just didn't need her pointing it out so blatantly when I was already pushing myself to my limits; I didn't need her making it worse.
She stood up and laid her hand on mine. I looked up, my eyes hard.
"I'm sorry for sniping at you. I really do appreciate what you're doing for me." I softened a little when I saw the sincerity and remorse in her features.
"It's alright. I'm sorry too. We're all on edge, here." I squeezed her hand to try to reassure her. "We'll think of something."
I insisted that she stay with us that night, for fear of something happening to her before I had a chance to concoct a scheme to keep her alive. I slept very little on and off, mostly worrying over what as to become of her. I stayed in the chair by the window, flinching repeatedly as the rain hit it. Fiyero woke occasionally at different points during the night to make sure I was getting some rest, if any at all. He often sat next to me in silence, a welcome presence warming the chill that had set into me during the day.
I would get up every so often to check on Glinda. She tossed restlessly and thrashed as if she were being chased by an invisible monster; I would gingerly brush back her sweat-dampened curls and whisper in her ear to quiet her. She would calm down for an hour or so but then resume her flight from the nightmares plaguing her subconscious.
At dawn she sat up and looked around wildly, like a doe caught in the headlights of a train on the Gillikin Railway. I sat down on the edge of the bed beside her and she jumped, as if she didn't know my face anymore.
"Glinda? Are you alright?"
"Elphie," she said, recognition returning to her eyes, "You look terrible."
"Like I've ever really looked good before." I began sarcastically, trying to lighten the mood a little. "I don't care what's wrong with me; I'm more concerned about you right now."
"I'm…well, I've been better."
"You're not kidding."
She smiled weakly. "I'm sorry I'm doing this to you."
"You've got nothing to be sorry for." I quietly laughed at myself; Glinda sounded like me and it sounded like I was morphing into Fiyero. "The only possible plan I could come up with under this much pressure would be for you to run. Run, or lay low here for a while. I've covered my tracks well enough. They won't look here."
"I'm afraid that if someone, anyone finds a lead onto me Oz's new king will eventually be led to you. I'm not willing to put you and Fiyero at risk like that."
"Then your only alternative would be to run. I'm afraid that if you try to leave the city you'll be dead before you reach the outer limits. You're staying here; at least while you're with Fiyero and me you have a better chance of holding onto your life beyond just the next two days." She fidgeted a little, looking away.
"I guess you're right. I just don't…" Her voice faded and she wouldn't meet my eyes.
"It'll turn out right somehow. It will…" I drifted off. In truth I didn't believe either of our "solutions", if you could call them that, would work. If she tried to flee the city the Gale Force, if that's what they were called now that the Wizard was dead, would be after her in a heartbeat; if she stayed here it would only be a matter of time before they discovered our location and holed us up like mice with a ferocious cat covering our only means of escape. I was deathly afraid for Glinda's life, but felt I had to keep a confident façade plastered on my face so as not to wordlessly dash her hopes for survival upon the city spires. The last thing she needed was to lose hope, even if the rest of us knew that eventually the Gale Force's iron fist would close mercilessly around her delicate throat.
The day crept by in strained silence broken only by the occasional patter of rain against the window and our terse words to one another. Often one of us would glance out the window as if afraid of something lurking in the damp shadows outside. We each haunted various points of the room as if they were military stations we were forbidden to abandon; I paced the floor restlessly, the one who occupied the window space more often than not. Fiyero stood at the table, his face creased in concentration, and Glinda sat on the bed against the headboard, her knees drawn up to her chest, occasionally reaching out to stroke Chistery. The monkey had taken to her quite easily and did his best to cheer her up, babbling to her as he sat in her lap or sitting on her shoulder playing with her curls. She would smile a little and scratch his fur, detached and forlorn.
As the gray sky deepened in color to smoky black I suggested that Glinda do her best to sleep some. She told me to be the one to sleep for a change; I had gotten very little rest the past night and I hadn't realized my exhaustion was that prominent. Fiyero agreed with her, putting his hands on my shoulders and steering me over towards the bed. I refused the offer, insisting that I cared nothing for myself at the moment and my mind was so riddled with distress and half-constructed plans that it would've been impossible for me to sleep at all.
"Elphie, you're still as stubborn as ever. You need the rest more than I do right now. Listen to someone else's advice for a change; it'll do you good." Glinda ordered, nudging me over to the bed. It was inviting, but still I didn't think I would be able to sleep if I tried.
"Elphaba, go. Fiyero and I are of the same mind on this." She glanced nervously over at him and then continued, "Come to think of it, Fiyero, I think you could do with some sleep yourself. You two get some rest; I have several things on my mind I have to sort out before I do." she said, staring fixedly out the window. I finally gave in to Glinda, Fiyero, and to my own exhaustion. Fiyero stretched out beside me and was asleep, his face nestled next to mine, before I even let my head hit the pillow. I lied awake for a while longer, just watching Glinda as she sat staring out the window, until the night overtook me and made sure I closed my eyes, for I refused to do so of my own accord.
When I awoke a gray sun was already shining bleakly through my eyelids, the seemingly endless rain drumming relentlessly on the window glass. I felt Fiyero's breath warm against my neck and tried to delay opening my eyes for as long as possible. Pressing myself closer to him I ran a hand through his hair. I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw being his face, but a moment later they looked beyond him, falling upon the empty chair by the window.
:Empty chair by the window…:
Slowly my half-awake mind put two and two together and, once able to think coherently again, glanced around to take in the rest of the room. It was painfully empty of life aside from Fiyero and me. I flew from under the blanket, now fully awake, and forcefully shook him awake. He tried to get up quickly but in his state of clumsy drowsiness fell from the bed, hitting the floor hard.
"You've got to stop doing that to me." he said, rubbing his backside and pushing himself to his feet.
"She's gone!" I cried, tightly grabbing his arm both to help him up and wake him up as well.
"Loosen your grip a little, will you? Who's gone?" His mind was still seemingly fuzzy with sleep. His lack of ability to wake himself up was beginning to aggravate my mind, already fraught with unease.
"Glinda's gone, you halfwit!" I shouted at him. "Oh, gods, I don't know what – why…? Where has she gone?"
"Apparently, she's gone to the palace." Fiyero said, staring at a piece of scribbled-on paper lying on the table.
"Why in hell would she go to the palace?" I asked, coming up next to him and reading over his shoulder. She couldn't be that mad…
I read the note she left to myself as did Fiyero, my heart sinking with every word.
:This is my sorry attempt at a goodbye, my friends. My trial is tomorrow, or I guess you could say it's today, because as I write this it's just about one in the morning. I've left to turn myself in. I couldn't bring myself to tell you how soon it really was, but I couldn't have you following me and getting yourself killed alongside me. Elphie, I had to go, I couldn't just stay holed up here with you and Fiyero until the Gale Force found us and killed us all. I was afraid it would endanger the both of you more then you already are. I just couldn't live with myself anymore.
I'm sorry for betraying you, Elphie, that night in the palace. It seems to have only resulted in my own demise after all. I'm sorry for being the one who almost handed you your death sentence that night as well. I'm sorry for worrying you over the past two days like I did. I'm sorry for a lot of things that would take too long to list here in the limited time I've got left to scrawl the remainder of this note out. Please, Elphie, try to find it in your heart to forgive me for all I've done to you. I feel it's better for me to die with your forgiveness than to live with the guilt for the rest of my days. I'll miss you so much, both of you. Thank you for all you've done for me.:
When I finished there were tears standing in my eyes that I had to rush to wipe away before they fell. I couldn't believe her. I wanted to find her and kill her myself for doing this to all of us, but at the same time I wanted to grab her and hug her and cry into her shoulder, telling her to never scare me like this again. However, none of that would be possible. If I wanted to kill her the Gale Force was about to beat me to the punch, and more than likely if I ever hugged her again it would be her lifeless body.
"I have to do something, I have to go –" I tried to push past Fiyero but he caught my hand; I whipped around and tried to wrench myself free. His grip tightened until it felt like he had my hand in a vice, crushing my bones into dust.
"Fiyero, let go of me!"
"No, Elphaba, I know this hurts but there's nothing we can do for her now."
"How can you be so calm about this? How do you act so nonchalant when a friend is about to be put to death? She saved my life; I can't stand by and watch them kill her!"
"Elphie, there's nothing you can do! She's turned herself in, there's no way we can got to her fast enough, and even if we did, it's raining. There's a good chance you wouldn't last long enough out in weather like this to reach her!"
"But I can't watch her die knowing I did nothing to try to save her!" Fiyero said nothing and looked away, still keeping my hand held tight within his.
"If you really love me you'll let me do this!"
His grip loosened from surprise. I was surprised myself at what had come out of my mouth, but held to coherency enough to slip my hand from his and step away. I had never tested him like this before, and at the moment I didn't even realize what I was doing to him. His brokenness never permeated through my single-minded desire to get to Glinda before someone else did. I moved farther toward the door and he made no move to stop me.
"Fabala, please be careful. Come back to me." he said quietly, his eyes penetrating deeply into mine. I nodded once, grabbed my hooded cloak from the hook in the wall it had hung upon since the day Fiyero opened his door to me, and put it on. Thankfully, there were gloves still in my pocket from the last time I had worn the thing a few years ago. Before I lifted the hood over my head, I caught Fiyero in my arms and kissed him hard and intense. I wasn't going to leave without letting him know how much he meant to me.
When I pulled my face away I whispered, "I won't let them lay a hand on me. The only real danger I'm in is from the rain, and I'm prepared for that. I'll come back to you. Don't worry about me."
"I've learned to be very afraid of when you say that." he answered, giving me one last squeeze before he released me. I smiled weakly.
"I'll be fine." I opened the door, made sure I was sufficiently shielded from the wet, and swept out into the downpour, too driven to care about myself.
We spent the rest of the day trying to find a way to keep Glinda alive past the two days she was allotted before her trial. Maybe a better way to say how we spent the day would be that we wasted it alternating between keeping her composed enough not to panic and Fiyero and I trying to keep ourselves composed to think clearly enough to devise a plan. As the hours passed nothing much had been accomplished, and it only resulted in Glinda's becoming more distraught than she already was.
"Can't you just magic yourself away to somewhere far from here? You've had magical training; I mean, you're a powerful witch. There's got to be some spell, somewhere…" I said, frustrated, feverishly turning the pages of the hateful magic book sitting on my worktable.
"If it was possible I would've already been somewhere they'd never look for me." she answered, perching herself at the edge of the bed and staring fixedly at the opposite wall.
"What do you mean 'if it was possible'?"
"When I was – detained – that night in the palace –"
"Detained? How much time did you waste just standing there surveying your gory handiwork before it dawned on you that you'd be pursued?" I asked incredulously. I hadn't thought her to be that slow on the uptake.
"You forget that there were two other guards in the room off the Wizard's study that hadn't any idea that you were ever there. They thought I was the only other one in the room and they came in a moment or two after you fled." she snapped before going on, "The man who would become Oz's new ruler, well, he's had magical instruction himself, and he made sure there was some enchantment laid over me to keep me from doing any form of magic, however insignificant the spell might be. I'd never heard of the particular charm they used, and it was too strong for me to throw off at the time. You can only fight it as it's being cast; once it's been completed you can't shake it off, no matter how powerful you are."
"Maybe there's a counter-charm in here we could…"
"Elphie, give it up," she sighed, "I'm currently unable to use magic to do anything, let alone to aid me in escape, and you – you've never been any great shakes at it yourself if you don't mind my saying."
I curled my fingers around the edge of the table, digging my nails into the wood. I stared at the tabletop with such intensity that I could've sworn they were burning holes right through it. I knew she was right; there was nothing to be gained from denying my lack of ability in all things sorceric. I just didn't need her pointing it out so blatantly when I was already pushing myself to my limits; I didn't need her making it worse.
She stood up and laid her hand on mine. I looked up, my eyes hard.
"I'm sorry for sniping at you. I really do appreciate what you're doing for me." I softened a little when I saw the sincerity and remorse in her features.
"It's alright. I'm sorry too. We're all on edge, here." I squeezed her hand to try to reassure her. "We'll think of something."
I insisted that she stay with us that night, for fear of something happening to her before I had a chance to concoct a scheme to keep her alive. I slept very little on and off, mostly worrying over what as to become of her. I stayed in the chair by the window, flinching repeatedly as the rain hit it. Fiyero woke occasionally at different points during the night to make sure I was getting some rest, if any at all. He often sat next to me in silence, a welcome presence warming the chill that had set into me during the day.
I would get up every so often to check on Glinda. She tossed restlessly and thrashed as if she were being chased by an invisible monster; I would gingerly brush back her sweat-dampened curls and whisper in her ear to quiet her. She would calm down for an hour or so but then resume her flight from the nightmares plaguing her subconscious.
At dawn she sat up and looked around wildly, like a doe caught in the headlights of a train on the Gillikin Railway. I sat down on the edge of the bed beside her and she jumped, as if she didn't know my face anymore.
"Glinda? Are you alright?"
"Elphie," she said, recognition returning to her eyes, "You look terrible."
"Like I've ever really looked good before." I began sarcastically, trying to lighten the mood a little. "I don't care what's wrong with me; I'm more concerned about you right now."
"I'm…well, I've been better."
"You're not kidding."
She smiled weakly. "I'm sorry I'm doing this to you."
"You've got nothing to be sorry for." I quietly laughed at myself; Glinda sounded like me and it sounded like I was morphing into Fiyero. "The only possible plan I could come up with under this much pressure would be for you to run. Run, or lay low here for a while. I've covered my tracks well enough. They won't look here."
"I'm afraid that if someone, anyone finds a lead onto me Oz's new king will eventually be led to you. I'm not willing to put you and Fiyero at risk like that."
"Then your only alternative would be to run. I'm afraid that if you try to leave the city you'll be dead before you reach the outer limits. You're staying here; at least while you're with Fiyero and me you have a better chance of holding onto your life beyond just the next two days." She fidgeted a little, looking away.
"I guess you're right. I just don't…" Her voice faded and she wouldn't meet my eyes.
"It'll turn out right somehow. It will…" I drifted off. In truth I didn't believe either of our "solutions", if you could call them that, would work. If she tried to flee the city the Gale Force, if that's what they were called now that the Wizard was dead, would be after her in a heartbeat; if she stayed here it would only be a matter of time before they discovered our location and holed us up like mice with a ferocious cat covering our only means of escape. I was deathly afraid for Glinda's life, but felt I had to keep a confident façade plastered on my face so as not to wordlessly dash her hopes for survival upon the city spires. The last thing she needed was to lose hope, even if the rest of us knew that eventually the Gale Force's iron fist would close mercilessly around her delicate throat.
The day crept by in strained silence broken only by the occasional patter of rain against the window and our terse words to one another. Often one of us would glance out the window as if afraid of something lurking in the damp shadows outside. We each haunted various points of the room as if they were military stations we were forbidden to abandon; I paced the floor restlessly, the one who occupied the window space more often than not. Fiyero stood at the table, his face creased in concentration, and Glinda sat on the bed against the headboard, her knees drawn up to her chest, occasionally reaching out to stroke Chistery. The monkey had taken to her quite easily and did his best to cheer her up, babbling to her as he sat in her lap or sitting on her shoulder playing with her curls. She would smile a little and scratch his fur, detached and forlorn.
As the gray sky deepened in color to smoky black I suggested that Glinda do her best to sleep some. She told me to be the one to sleep for a change; I had gotten very little rest the past night and I hadn't realized my exhaustion was that prominent. Fiyero agreed with her, putting his hands on my shoulders and steering me over towards the bed. I refused the offer, insisting that I cared nothing for myself at the moment and my mind was so riddled with distress and half-constructed plans that it would've been impossible for me to sleep at all.
"Elphie, you're still as stubborn as ever. You need the rest more than I do right now. Listen to someone else's advice for a change; it'll do you good." Glinda ordered, nudging me over to the bed. It was inviting, but still I didn't think I would be able to sleep if I tried.
"Elphaba, go. Fiyero and I are of the same mind on this." She glanced nervously over at him and then continued, "Come to think of it, Fiyero, I think you could do with some sleep yourself. You two get some rest; I have several things on my mind I have to sort out before I do." she said, staring fixedly out the window. I finally gave in to Glinda, Fiyero, and to my own exhaustion. Fiyero stretched out beside me and was asleep, his face nestled next to mine, before I even let my head hit the pillow. I lied awake for a while longer, just watching Glinda as she sat staring out the window, until the night overtook me and made sure I closed my eyes, for I refused to do so of my own accord.
When I awoke a gray sun was already shining bleakly through my eyelids, the seemingly endless rain drumming relentlessly on the window glass. I felt Fiyero's breath warm against my neck and tried to delay opening my eyes for as long as possible. Pressing myself closer to him I ran a hand through his hair. I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw being his face, but a moment later they looked beyond him, falling upon the empty chair by the window.
:Empty chair by the window…:
Slowly my half-awake mind put two and two together and, once able to think coherently again, glanced around to take in the rest of the room. It was painfully empty of life aside from Fiyero and me. I flew from under the blanket, now fully awake, and forcefully shook him awake. He tried to get up quickly but in his state of clumsy drowsiness fell from the bed, hitting the floor hard.
"You've got to stop doing that to me." he said, rubbing his backside and pushing himself to his feet.
"She's gone!" I cried, tightly grabbing his arm both to help him up and wake him up as well.
"Loosen your grip a little, will you? Who's gone?" His mind was still seemingly fuzzy with sleep. His lack of ability to wake himself up was beginning to aggravate my mind, already fraught with unease.
"Glinda's gone, you halfwit!" I shouted at him. "Oh, gods, I don't know what – why…? Where has she gone?"
"Apparently, she's gone to the palace." Fiyero said, staring at a piece of scribbled-on paper lying on the table.
"Why in hell would she go to the palace?" I asked, coming up next to him and reading over his shoulder. She couldn't be that mad…
I read the note she left to myself as did Fiyero, my heart sinking with every word.
:This is my sorry attempt at a goodbye, my friends. My trial is tomorrow, or I guess you could say it's today, because as I write this it's just about one in the morning. I've left to turn myself in. I couldn't bring myself to tell you how soon it really was, but I couldn't have you following me and getting yourself killed alongside me. Elphie, I had to go, I couldn't just stay holed up here with you and Fiyero until the Gale Force found us and killed us all. I was afraid it would endanger the both of you more then you already are. I just couldn't live with myself anymore.
I'm sorry for betraying you, Elphie, that night in the palace. It seems to have only resulted in my own demise after all. I'm sorry for being the one who almost handed you your death sentence that night as well. I'm sorry for worrying you over the past two days like I did. I'm sorry for a lot of things that would take too long to list here in the limited time I've got left to scrawl the remainder of this note out. Please, Elphie, try to find it in your heart to forgive me for all I've done to you. I feel it's better for me to die with your forgiveness than to live with the guilt for the rest of my days. I'll miss you so much, both of you. Thank you for all you've done for me.:
When I finished there were tears standing in my eyes that I had to rush to wipe away before they fell. I couldn't believe her. I wanted to find her and kill her myself for doing this to all of us, but at the same time I wanted to grab her and hug her and cry into her shoulder, telling her to never scare me like this again. However, none of that would be possible. If I wanted to kill her the Gale Force was about to beat me to the punch, and more than likely if I ever hugged her again it would be her lifeless body.
"I have to do something, I have to go –" I tried to push past Fiyero but he caught my hand; I whipped around and tried to wrench myself free. His grip tightened until it felt like he had my hand in a vice, crushing my bones into dust.
"Fiyero, let go of me!"
"No, Elphaba, I know this hurts but there's nothing we can do for her now."
"How can you be so calm about this? How do you act so nonchalant when a friend is about to be put to death? She saved my life; I can't stand by and watch them kill her!"
"Elphie, there's nothing you can do! She's turned herself in, there's no way we can got to her fast enough, and even if we did, it's raining. There's a good chance you wouldn't last long enough out in weather like this to reach her!"
"But I can't watch her die knowing I did nothing to try to save her!" Fiyero said nothing and looked away, still keeping my hand held tight within his.
"If you really love me you'll let me do this!"
His grip loosened from surprise. I was surprised myself at what had come out of my mouth, but held to coherency enough to slip my hand from his and step away. I had never tested him like this before, and at the moment I didn't even realize what I was doing to him. His brokenness never permeated through my single-minded desire to get to Glinda before someone else did. I moved farther toward the door and he made no move to stop me.
"Fabala, please be careful. Come back to me." he said quietly, his eyes penetrating deeply into mine. I nodded once, grabbed my hooded cloak from the hook in the wall it had hung upon since the day Fiyero opened his door to me, and put it on. Thankfully, there were gloves still in my pocket from the last time I had worn the thing a few years ago. Before I lifted the hood over my head, I caught Fiyero in my arms and kissed him hard and intense. I wasn't going to leave without letting him know how much he meant to me.
When I pulled my face away I whispered, "I won't let them lay a hand on me. The only real danger I'm in is from the rain, and I'm prepared for that. I'll come back to you. Don't worry about me."
"I've learned to be very afraid of when you say that." he answered, giving me one last squeeze before he released me. I smiled weakly.
"I'll be fine." I opened the door, made sure I was sufficiently shielded from the wet, and swept out into the downpour, too driven to care about myself.