The Lost Lloyd
It's early next morning, and Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd are in the dining room enjoying a cup of coffee. Rhonda soon enters the room, grabbing her gourmet lunch off the table and kissing both of her parents good-bye.
Rhonda: (kisses mom) Bye, Mom! (kisses dad) Bye, Daddy! I'll see you later at school, okay?
Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd look at each other uneasily.
Rhonda: What's wrong?
Mrs. Lloyd: Something's come up. A close cousin of mine had died recently, and I have to fly to Vermont for the funeral.
Mr. Lloyd: And I've been called into the office. I know it's short notice, but they say it's really important.
Rhonda: Oh, you mean more important than helping me get a good grade on my project? That is so unfair, daddy! Why can't you cancel it?
Mr. Lloyd: You know I can't do that pumpkin. I've already given them my word that I'd be there!
Mrs. Lloyd: And besides, you'll still have a family member for your presentation.
At that very moment, Rima enters the dining in her pajamas. Her hair is uncombed and she has a toothbrush in her mouth. She rubs her eyes and looks back drowsily at her staring family
Rima: (yawns) Mornin'.
Rhonda turns around to look at her parents
Rhonda: (whispering) You have GOT to be kidding!
Mrs. Lloyd: Rhonda!
Rhonda: (whispers) Please, mom, don't let her follow me to school. I'll be ruined!
Mr. Lloyd: Oh honestly, Rhonda - you're just overreacting.
Rhonda: (whispering) No, I'm not! By allowing her to set foot in P.S. 118, you will be jeopardizing my entire reputation!
Mrs. Lloyd: That's enough of that, Rhonda! Now, I won't have my daughter get less than perfection on this project. Rima is coming whether you like it or not!
Rhonda: (whining) But, Mother, they'll laugh at me!
Mrs. Lloyd: Oh, don't be silly. (to Rima) Rima, take a shower and get dressed; you're going to take the bus along with Rhonda to her school.
Rima: Bus? Oh no, mother. Every time the human population supports such a heinous mode of transportation, those infernal beasts of metal belch their evil fumes of poison into our air, making it unbreathable and suffocating life on this planet as we know it! I'd rather walk and do the earth a favor, if you don't mind.
Mrs. Lloyd: Well, okay, Rima, if that's how you feel. Rhonda will give you directions to school - isn't that right, Rhonda?
Rhonda suddenly has a wide grin on her face.
Rhonda: (sweetly) Of course, mother. I'll give her directions.
Mrs. Lloyd: Thank you, dear. (looks at watch) Oh, my goodness! Look at the time! Buckley, we'd better get going.
Mr. Lloyd: You're right. (to daughters) You two have a good time at school.
Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd get up from their seats at the table, kiss their daughters, and exit the dining room. Rima leaves as well to take a shower, which leaves Rhonda by herself, smiling wickedly.
Rhonda: I'll giver her directions, alright - just not to the school...
Rhonda laughs as she, too, exits the dining room.
Rhonda and Rima are outside in front the house. Rhonda hands Rima a piece of paper, and she looks at it curiously.
Rima: What's this??
Rhonda: A map to my school.
Rima: Oh, okay. Er...can you explain it to me?
Rhonda: (sighs) It's pretty self-explanatory, Rima. See, you go left until you reach Woodward Ave. then you make another left and walk some more until you go pass the third stop sign on that street, then you take a left, a right, another left, and a right. By then you'll be at Rekcus St.; just keep going straight from there until you spot a yellow house with a red roof, take 2 lefts, and my school should be right there.
Rima: Groovy. I'll see you at school, then. Bye.
Rima heads down the street until she reaches Woodward Ave. She waves to Rhonda one last time before going left down that street. She makes a quick pause for a moment to think about Rhonda's directions.
Rima: Rekcus St.?
Not too long after Rima's departure, a city bus makes its way down the street and stops at Rhonda's house. As Rhonda boards the bus, she, too, pauses for a moment.
Rhonda: Groovy?
Rhonda shrugs her shoulders, then boards the bus, which goes in the opposite direction of where Rima headed.
Later that day, the children of Mr. Simmons' class giv their presentations on their family. Arnold has just completed his presentation, and the class applauds. He sits back down, and does his secret handshake with Gerald.
Gerald: Nice work, man.
Arnold: Thanks, Gerald.
Mr. Simmons:(reading list) Okay, Rhonda. You're next.
Rhonda gulps as she walks to the front of the classroom with her project. She looks at Nadine, who gives her a thumbs up for support.
Whenever you're ready, Rhonda.
Rhonda looks at the class, takes a deep breath, and begins.
Rhonda: Okay, so basically, there's me, my mom, and my dad. My mom owns a fashion shop about 3 blocks away from the school, and my dad is the head of this big corporation. I forgot what it does - I think it makes pies, or something. Anyway, the three of us live in a rather large house - you all have seen it because I must've invited you at some point to one of the many dance and slumber parties that I occasionally throw. And that's it...oh, wait! I also have a pony named Princess.
There's a scattered applause from the class.
Mr. Simmons: Um, that was very good, Rhonda. That presentation was so very...very "you". I just have one question: was it because of your mother and father's busy schedule that they were unable to come today?
Rhonda: Yes. I know that their absence is unfortunate, but hey, (shrugs shoulders) that's life.
Mr. Simmons: That is so very true. Yes, Stinky?
Stinky: I was just wondering what happened to Rhonda's sister. Rhonda said that she was coming home from college yesterday, so logically, SHE could have come instead. Of course, I'm just saying...
Mr. Simmons: You have a sister, Rhonda?
Rhonda: Yes. She was supposed to arrive yesterday evening, but...her plane was delayed to a freak snow storm in area, so she was unable to come. It's a real shame, too.
Mr. Simmons: We understand, Rhonda. You can sit down now.
Rhonda gives a sigh of relief.
Rhonda: (thinking) Phew! I'm glad THAT'S over!
But Rhonda takes no more than 2 steps towards her seat when the door suddenly opens and her sister Rima enters, dressed in a large brown torso with a flower and wearing a red headband with a brown zig-zag slicing across it. Strapped across her shoulder is a guitar. Rhonda is speechless, and the class can't help but whisper to one another in bewilderment.
Rima: Hello, everyone!
Rhonda: Oh...no..
Mr. Simmons: Excuse me, but who are you?
Rima: Isn't it obvious? I'm Rhonda's sister, Rima.
The class gasps in shock. Rima looks at Mr. Simmons profoundly.
Rima: Have we met before?
Mr. Simmons: Uh, I don't think so. My name is Mr. Simmons. I've recently started teaching here at PS 118.
Rima: Simmons...Simmons...where have I heard that na--oh, wait! I remember you! You're Sunchild! We met at the "Save the Rainforest" concert in Brazil! How have you been?
The class explodes in a roar of laughter
Harold: (laughing) Sunchild? Sunchild?? That's way too funny! Ha, ha, ha, ha!! Oh, I'm gonna wet my pants!
Sid: (laughing) I haven't heard anything this funny since the time Arnold's Grandpa visited our class last year!
The class continues to laugh as Mr. Simmons turns beet red. He makes a futile effort to try and restore the order.
Mr. Simmons: Okay, people, settle down. I know that it's a little overwhelming to learn that your 4th grade teacher used to live a life as..well, a hippie..but life goes on. And I can assure you that times have changed and that the 60's are long gone out of me.
Rima: What? Oh no, Sunchild! You can't be serious!
Mr. Simmons: I am, Rima! We're reaching the turn of the century. It's time to look towards the future, not to some dead and forgotten decade.
Rima: Dead?! Oh, Sunchild, you've got it all wrong! The 60's have never been more alive the hearts of young people. Look around you, man! Kids are wearing bell bottom pants, preaching about world peace, and watching movies about British secret agents with bad teeth who are like magnets to the opposite sex! Surely, you can't possibly think otherwise!
Mr. Simmons: Well, I...uh...
Rima: It's the system that did this to you, isn't it? They took away your ideals of love and peace along with your beautiful golden locks of hair! Well, I'll have no more of it! Listen, class! Go out and be wild and free! Do and dream about whatever the heck you want in life, and don't worry about the Man has to say about it! Because it's those hopes, those shining 60's hopes that'll help you through those times of reality!
Curly: That gal's speaking my language!
Rima: So remember what I'm telling you today - keep your hopes alive! Keep the 60's alive!
The bell rings, signalling the start of lunch. The students quickly file out of the classroom, talking excitedly about what had transpired. In the hallway, Rhonda leans against her locker and stares blankly out at nothing.
Rhonda: 11:55. It's official. My life is over.
During recess, Rhonda sits on the bench with her hands covering her face. After a few minutes, Nadine sees her and sits next to her on the bench.
Nadine: What's wrong, Rhonda?
Rhonda: (through hands) I won't even dignify that with an answer, Nadine. You KNOW what's wrong!
Nadine: I'm guessing that your aren't exactly too thrilled with your sister Rima right now, are you? I know, I know! Stupid question!
Rhonda: Bingo. I just don't understand it! I sent Rima on a wild goose chase away from the school! How did she find her way here?
Just then, Helga approaches Rhonda and Nadine with a smug look on her face.
Helga: Well, well, well! I never thought this day would come! It looks like "Princess Rhonda" finally has something that we lowly subjects could look down upon her for: a crazy hippie for a sister! (laughs)
Nadine: Leave Rhonda alone, Helga! Can't you see that she's upset right now?
Rhonda: That's right. I'm feeling very vulnerable right now, and if you don't mind, I would like to feel sorry for myself in peace. So GO AWAY.
Helga: All I'm saying is that it's too bad you couldn't think up a better plan to keep your sister away from the school. I did, which is why I won't have to worry about my presentation until Monday, and by then, I'll have PLENTY of other ideas to keep my sister out of sight!
Olga: Helga!
Helga: Huh?!
Olga runs through the playground towards her younger sister and stops to catch her breath. She then kneels down and tugs on Helga's pink dress.
Olga: Oh, baby sister, I'm SOOOO sorry that I missed half of your special day at school!
Helga: (speechless) But...but...but...!
Olga: Let me explain! It all started earlier this morning when I had lost my keys. For some strange reason, I had misplaced them behind the microwave! As I was driving to the school, I spotted an old friend of mine on the street and had completely lost track of time! We talked and laughed for what seemed like hours until I realized that I had to get to the school. And ironically, she was supposed to be there, too! I think that she map she was given was unreliable, though, because she was walking away from the school, not towards it! Isn't that weird?
Helga: (speechless) But...but...but...!
Olga: Oh, hold on - I'm not finished yet. Anywho, after I had dropped off my friend I suddenly realized that I hadn't eaten all day (I guess I was just really excited), so I decided to stop at "Joe's Slouvaki Stand", and wouldn't you know it, the oven wasn't working! Since I had gotten an 98% in my mechanical technician course at Wellington College, it was no problem getting the oven fixed again, better than before! But the employees were so impressed that they kept asking how I did it, so I told them, but they said they wouldn't remember, and insisted that I write it down. Since I didn't have any paper on me, I picked some up at the nearest pharmacy, along with a set a blue pens (and a set of pink ones, too, since I really couldn't decide on the color). So, I returned to the restaurant and wrote down what to do if the oven were to malfunction again. I was real happy to help, but when I checked my watch again it was already 11:30! I was being so selfish!! Can you EVER forgive me??!!
Olga hugs Helga and sobs hysterically as Rhonda and Nadine look on.
Helga: (speechless) But...but...but...!
Rhonda: Uh, Olga? Who exactly is your friend?
Rima: Olga!
Olga stops crying and stands up when she hears her name called. She then turns around and runs toward Rima.
Olga: Rima!
Olga and Rima hug. Suddenly it all makes sense to Rhonda and Helga.
Rhonda & Helga: You two are friends?!
Olga: Yes, ever since that trip to the nation's Capital last year, we've been very close! I'm surprised you didn't know, Helga - I've written all about Rima in the letter I sent to you last month!
Rima: It's been so nice to see you again after what seems like ages! She's like my best friend!
Olga: We are best friends, Rima!
Rima: Wow, really? That must be why our cosmic alignments are in such perfect harmony with one another!
Olga and Rima hug again. Helga nearly gags at the sight. Rhonda stands up and grabs Helga's arm.
Rhonda:(whispering) I need to talk to you in private. (out loud) Nadine, can you wait here, please?
Nadine nods and Rhonda pulls Helga inside the school. It's not until they reach the girls' bathroom when Helga finally pulls her arm out of Rhonda's grip.
Helga: Criminy! What's your problem?!
Rhonda: I just had a thought.
Helga: What?!
Rhonda: Look, our sisters are both evil - that's a given, right?
Helga: Yeah...?
Rhonda: And they're both always trying to ruin our lives, right?
Helga: Yeah...?
Rhonda: And we both want to get rid of them, right?
Helga: Yeah...so what's your point?!
Rhonda: Well.... maybe we should join forces...
Helga: Are you out of your mind?! Why would I want to team up with a pompous fashion brat like you?
Rhonda: Because I'm all that you have left! Look, our own plans tend to backfire when we try to get rid of our sisters...but if we work together, we may be able to stomp out Olga and Rima once and for all!!
Helga: Hmm...well, I can't argue with that...and at this point, I'm DESPERATE to get rid of Olga...
Rhonda: And besides, the truce will only be temporary - as soon as they're gone, it will as if our alliance never existed. So, what do you say?
Rhonda extends her hand. Helga stares hesitantly at it for a moment, then reaches her hand out to Rhonda in agreement. They shake.
Helga: Princess, you've yourself a deal.
Rhonda: Excellent. By the end of this week, we can kiss those annoying showbunnies goodbye!
End of Chapter 3!