Chapter 28

I didn't go back downstairs. If Fiyero had wanted me with him he would have come looking for me; I wasn't about to deny him his time to grieve by inflicting my presence upon him.

The next week was spent much the same way as it had been for me when I'd once called this fortress my home; in solitude, holed up in my tower, working on virtually the same things I'd been doing with the monkey the first time around. By the third day of the week I'd managed to get most of the books and papers on the floor into some semblance of order and put them in two piles on the table, one for the things I could use and one for what was to be set aside. Towards the fifth day I had everything a little more organized and I'd begun to dive back into my old work schedule; hours on end with my nose buried in various books.

I pored over and weeded through the sea of stuff, pulling out whatever might prove useful and casting aside everything else, until I was just about done; it was the last day of the week and Chistery let himself in, making himself at home among my things on the table. He must've needed more space to sleep or to do whatever it was he wanted to do up here, so the little beast just pushed everything I'd organized off the surface. The papers flew everywhere, and the books hit the floor with a resounding bang. I swore colorfully at the top of my lungs, scaring the living daylights out of Chistery, who swung himself down and cowered for a while under the table. It took all my self control to keep myself from picking the monkey up and chucking him down the tower stairs, where he'd be out of my way for a while. I sighed heavily and began the daunting task of sifting through all the information all over again.

As I was just about to get back to work there was a loud rap on the trapdoor and Fiyero's voice called from the other side of the wood.

"Elphie? What was that? It was so loud!"

I tugged the trapdoor open and grabbed his hand to help him drag himself up into the room.

"Do you mean me or the bang of books hitting the floor?" I asked dryly.

"Is everything okay? I was in the hallway downstairs wondering whether or not you wanted my company when I heard the noise and jumped eight feet in the air, then I heard you shrieking and I came up to see what was wrong."

I was glad to see Fiyero again, and if I wasn't so incensed I would've wrapped my arms around him before saying a word. I could thank Chistery for making me freeze over like this.

"It was only Chistery wreaking havoc on everything I've been doing this entire week!" I shouted, my aim being for Chistery to hear loud and clear what I was getting at. He was still sitting under the table, no longer cowering but trying to look as innocent as possible. I knelt down and began to scoop up everything the monkey had pushed to the floor, trying in vain to remember which items had belonged to which pile they'd formerly inhabited. Fiyero got to his knees beside me and helped to gather everything together, and then we dumped it back onto the table; at this point I was beyond caring what went where. I stood and sank down onto the bed, tense and aggravated. I buried my face in my hands, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Would you take Chistery downstairs for me, and make sure he stays there for the time being? I really need to get through this-" I said through my fingers.

"Take a break, Fae; you're all seized up. You're becoming obsessive over your work again. I haven't seen you in a week." Fiyero sank down onto the bed beside me and massaged my shoulders. I wasn't up to leaving the work I hadn't really even begun now that I looked at it, but his presence was welcome after a week alone.

::It's strange now to think that for fifteen years I'd hated contact with other people, and now that I'm not alone anymore I can't take being by myself for more than a few days.:: I leaned back against him and rested my head on his shoulder.

"You asked to be alone to say goodbye to your children, and I wasn't going to impose my unwanted presence upon you, so I withdrew. Anyway, I had - or should I say have - work to do sorting through this mess," I said, gesturing to the jumbled disaster that was once my research, "work I was almost done with until dear little Chistery saw fit to destroy it on me." I glared once more at the creature still sitting under the table and trying to look as angelic as he could.

"Relax. You've got all the time in the world. No one knows we're alive, aside from Boq, his horses, and the Tiger. What could possibly happen to us out here in the middle of this place? Come downstairs for a while."

His words induced a memory of the Tiger, perhaps the only living being aside from Boq and Chistery that actually knew of our existence, and with the Tiger came recollection of the glass sphere.

"No, I can't, I've got too much to concentrate on. If I leave this now I'll never remember where I left off, and I still have to try to See..."

Fiyero sighed. "Alright, I'll give you another few days to collect yourself, but then I get you to myself for a day. I missed you this week." He kissed the side of my head and continued. "Agreed?"

"What did you miss me for? I'd think you'd be more concerned with your family that anything else right now. It's only been a week, and I know how much you loved your children; how could you have possibly let them go after such a short time?"

"Normally, the Arjikis who live out here are allowed to grieve for loved ones for a year, but with the exception of their ruler. I'm allowed a week; the leader of the tribe is taught from childhood to let go of people so much faster, since they have to be able to deal with loss in case of war or some other tragedy. Granted, my children are the hardest to let go of now, and I doubt I'll ever fully be able to, but I guess there is life after loss. I've always been weak in that respect, especially when it concerned you. Look at me, I never was able to accept that I'd lost you after my 'death', but I got extremely lucky, and never had to. If I lost you like that again I don't know where I'd be." His arms snaked around my waist, pulling me to his chest, and he nuzzled his lips in my hair. Gentle puffs of air tickled the back of my neck as he breathed, and I recoiled to escape the tickling sensation.

"Stop, sweetheart, I've got to go-"

"No you don't, not yet." The air against my neck was replaced by little kisses of the barest contact with my skin, which actually made it tickle more.

"Yes I do. You promised me a few days to collect myself. Then I'll spend some time with you. You have my word."

"So, you plan on taunting me with separation? Is that what you're trying to do? One of these days, Elphie my love, you'll be the death of me, mark my words." he said, and I kissed him before he left me to my work.



The three days I was allotted breezed by faster than the wind in a summer storm. Since I'd been through all the information before, it was relatively easy for me to reclassify everything into the categories I'd formed the first time around. Then I was able to really study the changes that could occur in an animal to induce the transformation in mentality that would make the creature an Animal. According to the research I'd done regarding the process in which a animal becomes an Animal, Chistery was almost there. His vocabulary needed to grow a little more, and then he needed to grasp a few more complex concepts of logic before he could be classified as a Monkey. All animosity there had been when Chistery knocked my things topsy-turvy evaporated, and the pride I had in the little monster tripled. I even let up enough on him to allow him access to the tower again. He flew up one afternoon when I left the trapdoor ajar and collided with me, fastening his little arms around my elbow.

"Don't make me stay downstairs again. Fiyero's being boring."

"How so? You used to play with him all the time."

"He keeps sitting in the pink room and telling me not to touch anything in there."

"Oh. Well, then you'd better listen to him. He needs to be by himself for a little longer. You can stay here for the time being."

"Yay! Please don't kick me out. I won't cause trouble." he said, pleading with me to let him stay. I was in a fairly good mood due to my discoveries and wasn't going to begrudge him what he wanted for the present.

"Alright, but you have to be careful around my things, not like the last time you were up here. Understand?"

"Uh huh." he said; the little thing was only concerned with having a place to stay and now that he had one he was going to ignore everything I said until he pushed me too far and set me off. He began tearing through the clothing I had left here, unearthing a few other scarves to amuse himself with. I shook my head and smiled at him before turning back to the last thing I needed to work with; the green glass sphere.

I went downstairs to the entrance hall, where the bag of the things we'd brought with us still was. Fishing through its contents, my fingers brushed the cool, smooth surface and I pulled it out as carefully as I could. I made my way back upstairs as inconspicuously as possible so as not to draw attention to myself; the last thing I needed was for Fiyero to realize I was downstairs and try to draw me away from the task at hand.

I made it back up with little difficulty, and made sure Chistery was asleep before I set to work focusing on the centralized magics residing within the glass. The inside fogged up and silvered over, and the scene I'd witnessed in the Tiger's cave materialized once more. Once again, the moment I tried to zero in on the little green girl's visions, the Tiger would snarl and the images would dissolve. I tried again to call the scene back, this time working at Seeing my little self's visions a little earlier this time, but I lost concentration when Chistery woke and crawled into my lap. The pictures dissipated and when I tried a third time to See, by then my mind had been pushed too far and I wasn't even able to make the silvery fog reappear.

I groaned from frustration, making Chistery to grow apprehensive.

"Did I do something bad?" he asked, staring up at me through wide eyes.

"No, not at all, little friend. Everything's okay. I'm a little frustrated with myself, that's all."

"Oh." he said, relieved that he wasn't in trouble, and promptly fell back to sleep.



When my three days were up, Fiyero pounded on the trapdoor at around eleven in the morning, let himself in, and knocked me from one of the four hours of sleep I'd actually gotten over the three day span. I was half-shocked out of slumber by the noise, and then abruptly shaken awake when Fiyero flopped gracelessly down onto the bed beside me. I rolled over, turning away from him, desperate for an extra hour of sleep, but he ignored my movements and entrapped me in his arms anyway.

"Yero, please, not yet." I moaned, pulling the covers up to my neck.

"Oh no, dearest, no more sleep for you. You had three full days to yourself, and if you didn't make sure you got enough rest while I wasn't here then that's your own fault, not mine. It's my sworn duty as your lover to be with you and pester you until I can make you believe that you're both loved and the most beautiful woman alive." He pulled me close and kissed my hair, then buried his lips there.

"I never doubted that you loved me, but the beauty issue is impossible for someone like me to believe. Don't lie to me like that."

"I would never lie to you."

"I believe you just did."

He opened his mouth to argue but I continued before he could get a word in. "Fiyero, I'm exhausted and I'm in no mood to fight with you over something stupid like my looks. I'm green, and when you're green there's no room left in you for beauty. End of story. Now will you please just give me one more hour to rest?"

"I said no. This is your little scheme to get away from me. Well, you conniving woman, you, I am not going to fall for it!" He laughed and tugged my hand. I rolled back over, and when he had me facing him he stood and fought to yank me to my feet.

"Come downstairs with me. I can see you haven't eaten much in the last three days, and I, for one, am not going to let you starve yourself while your nose is stuck to some old musty books."

"Let me change first! I've been wearing this same dress for two days!" I let go of his hand and went to tear through my trunk for something a little cleaner to wear.

"Still so black? Come with me, you can't be in mourning for the rest of your life over someone who isn't even dead."

"Must you do this to me?" I asked, too tired to fight as he led me down the stairs.

"Yes."

"Oh joy."

Eventually Fiyero pushed open the door to a fairly large room that I'd never really been in before. It had a window on the large-ish side taking up the better part of one wall, a bed pushed against another, and a large wardrobe inhabiting a third, near it a dressing screen with a mirror mounted on one panel.

"This must be Sarima's room; whatever it is you've got in mind, I'm not doing it."

"Yes you are." Fiyero said, closing the door and throwing open the doors of the wardrobe. He pulled out a few dresses that he thought might fit me.

"I won't do this, Fiyero. It feels as if I'm somehow invading her privacy by your going through her things like this, looking for something for me, of all people, to wear..."

"Try this on." he said, ignoring everything I'd just said and holding out a creation of red satin.

"No, no, no. You are not getting me into that."

"Fine, then. This one." The new dress was a pale blue with a rather low-cut back.

"You have got to be kidding me. I'm not going to parade myself around in something like that to be looked at like livestock up for sale. I'm not pretty, so why bother? Something like that is more my speed." I pointed out a black dress quite like the one I had on.

"That's the problem. I miss the sight of you in colors. You said so yourself, you haven't worn colors since you left Shiz, and that was a good twenty years ago, maybe a little less."

"Since when do you care so much about what I wear?" I shot.

"I want you to see yourself with the beauty I know you possess. You sell yourself short and it's about time you stepped up and bothered to recognize how lovely you are."

"When did you become the High Fashion Consultant of the Vinkus? Don't even bother with it. You're wasting your time." I said curtly.

"No, I'm not. Here, how about this one? It's not revealing at all, believe me, I bought it for Sarima. It was never her style and she never really liked it - look, the sale's price is still there; Sarima's never even worn it, so it's not as if you'll somehow be invading her space or betraying her in any way by trying it on." It was a beautiful dress, white and simple with a sort of elegance most of the more extravagant dresses failed to pull off. Even so, preserving the small amount of dignity I'd been able to retain through the years won out over the gown's appealing presence.

"I can't - "

"Please, Elphie? Humor me now and I'll never make you do something like this again, you have my word."

The prospect of never having to do this again was far more satisfactory than refusing him now and having him bother me about again it at some later date. I took it from him, glowering, and stepped behind the screen, grumbling to myself and dreading the moment I would have to catch sight of myself in the mirror.

"You are a heartless, insensitive man, Fiyero." I called as I stepped from the black heap of cloth and pulled the white dress over my head.

"Am I, now?" he asked automatically, not really hearing me.

I carefully smoothed down the skirts; the dress itself was beautiful, there was no doubt about that, but I hated to make a mockery out of something so lovely by inflicting upon it contact with my body, which was enough to make people recoil at the sight. I glanced in the mirror to make sure I was in no way harming the dress with any creases or the like and I froze up at the sight, taken aback and caught completely off-guard.

"Sweet Oz..." I said quietly; I'd been transformed. The drape of the fabric was such that places where I'd been all angles before had seemed to soften into curves, the material clinging to me in some areas and falling gracefully from others.

"What is it, Fae-Fae?" Fiyero asked, "Are you alright?"

""Yes, I'm fine, I'm - "

"Can I see?"

"No, Fiyero, this isn't me in this dress, it's not - " I couldn't articulate anything; my tongue felt knotted up as I spoke.

"I made you try it on, Fabala, I'm entitled to see what it looks like." he said matter-of-factly.

I didn't hear him. I could only stand and stare numbly, my hands over my mouth. I didn't even notice him at all until he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and began murmuring in my ear.

"Oh, Elphie, look at you. Now will you believe me when I call you beautiful?" He kissed my ear, his breath warm against my neck.

"I don't - this isn't me you're seeing. It's something I'm not..." I said, unsure of whether to be happy with my appearance or to despair over the fact that I could never really be able to retain such beauty.

"Than show me what is you."

"That-" I said, pointing to the black I'd formerly been clothed in, "is me."

"But why do you feel like you have to remain so dark? Why must you belittle yourself? Elphie, I only want you to be happy, and I want you to believe in yourself the way I believe in you."

"What if I was happy the way I was before?"I asked quietly, gazing wistfully down at the white folds of the dress, wishing I would somehow be able to retain the beauty the dress had lent me for the time being. I would've been better off with the way I'd been before, when I cared little for what I looked like.

"Elphie, I am not blind and deaf. I see and I hear every time I watch you dismiss yourself and all that you do as unimportant, or blame yourself for crimes you never committed. You were never truly happy with yourself the way you were, Elphie; you only seem to tolerate yourself because you have no other choice. People have beaten you all your life into believing that you have neither beauty nor worth just because you're different from them, but none of them have ever taken the time to see you for who you really are. I want you to know how far they've always been from the truth. I've tried everything to get you to believe me when I say you are beautiful. Please, Fabala, tell me what I can do to get you to believe me."

He turned me around and lifted my chin with a finger, making me meet his eyes. I could see the pain there; I still couldn't begin to comprehend how much he felt for me. "Can you believe me at all?"

"Hey," I said gently, bringing my hand up to stroke his cheek, "Thanks for making me try this on. It's so pretty, and I actually feel pretty wearing it. I think I can almost see what you mean by beauty - or whatever passes for beauty in green women." I smiled a bit and stretched to kiss him softly. He managed to give me a smile as well, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He hugged me back so tightly it hurt, but it felt nice to know he was there and wanted me to be happy, which was more than I could've said for anyone there'd ever been in my life, even my own family.

"I'm afraid to get this thing dirty, so I'll only wear it for a little longer."

"No, keep it on if you like it. Once we get back to the City we can always ask Boq to clean it." I laughed once and wondered what he would be thinking when he realized Fiyero and I were gone.

"I like to see you wear white; it's a welcome change from the black. Maybe tomorrow we'll branch out a little farther to blue or something."

"That's pushing it, Yero my hero."

"Okay, we'll wait for that."

"I never said I would wear anything besides this and that which belongs to me."

"Alright, alright, I won't push you. Come on, I'm starving and I bet you haven't eaten in a while, either, if you've kept yourself shut away upstairs for three days. There's got to be something edible left in the kitchen. I figure I'll go out and hunt for something tomorrow."

"Sure." I took him by the hand and we strolled through the halls together, grateful for the company. In exiting the late Sarima's chambers I left behind that dismal black cloak I'd been wearing for fifteen years, with it abandoning the lowly image of myself I'd been forced to harbor since I was small.



Fiyero and I spent quite a length of time sitting in the kitchen, talking and laughing over nothing, a welcome change from the dusty research books that had been my only companions for the past three days. It had gotten late and the sun was low in the sky by the time my mind drifted to the Sight.

"Can you give me an hour or two to myself so I can try to See a little more? I really need the practice, and I'm starting to get a little apprehensive over not knowing what 'horrors' there could be to look out for."

"Fabala-Fae-"

"Please?"

"Alright, but I'm coming with you. You're not staying up there alone for too long today. You promised me a day to have you to myself, and I intend to make the most of it."

"You have a deal."

As we passed through the entrance hall to get to the corridor that would take us to the tower stairs, Fiyero hooked the pack we'd taken here from the City over his arm.

"I don't want to leave this down here. Your spell book's in it, the oil, and my medicine. I do not, repeat, not, want the monkey to get into those things."

"Then take it upstairs. I can put it in my trunk. The lid's too heavy for Chistery to lift on his own."

We trudged back up the tower stairs, listening to the sinister creaking of the old wood as we moved.

"D'you think those stairs are still safe enough to use like this?" he asked uneasily, wincing with every little skreak.

"We're not going to spend the next three years here, so we won't have to worry about it for long. I can try to reinforce them magically, but something tells me I might end up making them explode instead."

"There you go. See what I mean about belittling your abilities? If you can perform a transportation spell the likes of that which got us here, you can do something simple like make wood a little stronger."

I decided to give it a shot, surprising myself when I actually succeeded.

"You're better at this magic than you thought, aren't you?"

"I guess so. Now the sooner you let me get to my work the sooner I can get to you." I shooed him away and he sat on the bed, paging absentmindedly through the Grimmerie and scratching Chistery's stomach every once in a while, keeping him quiet for me.

I freed the green sphere from the scarves it was nestled among and lifted it from the trunk I'd taken to keeping it in. When I sat at the table and focused on calling the silver smoke to form the mirror-surface, it materialized much faster than it ever had. The scene I'd become quite familiar with progressed as usual, and this time when my young self began to witness the second vision, the new image came into sharp focus for me. I got as far as the sight of a man, backlit by the rising sun and grinning maliciously, but then there came a loud screech from back in reality and I lost the entire scene just as fast as I'd gained it, down to every last foggy shape. I looked away and sighed, glowering at the snow monkey perched on top of the bookcase, a page from the Grimmerie clutched in his hands. I looked to Fiyero for an explanation.

"He climbed onto the book, and when I tried to get him off, he got angry at me and tore it. I'm sorry..."

"It's okay." I sighed, rubbing my temples and coaxing the monkey down from his perch with a piece of bread that had been in the pack we'd brought here. It was a good thing the little monster was always a sucker for food, otherwise there would've been no guarantee ever I'd get the Grimmerie's page back. When Chistery had handed over the paper and fallen asleep on top of the bookcase and the page was safely back in my hands I was able to attach it into the book again. It happened to be the page with the spell I'd tried to use to kill off the Wizard. As much as I didn't want to keep the page, I stuck it back into the spell book just for the sake of not ruining the Grimmerie any more than it already was.

"I was just so close." I said, sitting down next to Fiyero, "I was so close to achieving the vision I'd tried so hard to See, and the monkey just had to be difficult."

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and squeezed my arm. "You'll get it soon. You probably would've done it if Chistery and I'd left you to your work alone."

"No, I'm glad you're here." I said, kissing the hinge of his jaw. "I'll try again tomorrow. But the fact that I was a hair's breadth away from the Sight..."

"Don't dwell on it, Fae-Fae. Just think of it this way, the closer you came today, the easier it'll be tomorrow to call it back."

"I suppose..."

"Come here." he said, pulling me onto his lap. "Take your mind off the Sight." His arms snaked around me and he rubbed my back, loosening the tense muscles there. As I relaxed I seemed to melt into him, comfortable and perfectly at ease. The white folds of my dress whispered against my legs in the cool breeze entering the tower through the open window, causing a single lock of Fiyero's hair to brush continuously against my face. I tucked it behind his ear, smiling as he kissed my closed eyes. I trailed my lips over the base of his throat, planting a delicate line of kisses over the thin scar there. I silently promised never to give him reason to drive himself so far for me again. There would always be love, but love had its limits. Even so, I planned to test those limits, my limits, tonight.

My hands skimmed over his chest, searching for the buttons on his shirt, opening them once I found them. He loosened his grip on me as I smoothed the shirtsleeves down over his arms, my hands caressing as gently as they could over his recently-healed right arm. His skin was pleasantly warm to the touch, especially as he pressed me close, as if he would never let go. Before we knew it our clothing was falling away from our bodies and we were lying on the bed, our hands exploring every inch of each other, our kisses hot on each other's lips. He felt so familiar and yet so unknown, shrouded from me through fifteen years' worth of separation. That shroud was cast aside as we lay there, moving as one, rediscovering each other as if it was the first time. His hands traveled down over my stomach and when they got to a certain point he hesitated; this had been the point where I would always back away from his touch, but tonight all my fears were torn asunder and I bade him to continue. All too soon we shuddered with a sweet pain and lay spent and still, our legs tangled together and our arms around each other, both giving and receiving warmth through the cool autumn night as well as the listening to the lullabies of our mingled heartbeats. We may have been two separate people, but just then it was if we two belonged to the same body.

Little did we know that our ecstacy was to be extremely short-lived. Being so wrapped up in our own bliss we were oblivious to the sounds of people banging around on the lower floors of the fortress.