Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any form shape or fashion. If I did, I would have already killed him and taken Hinata for myself…

Chapter 3. Shopping.

The horror. Sasuke watched as Sakura moved among the racks of No-Man's-Land. He was standing in the aisle of the store looking at her as she casually picked up things for him to wear. It was like watching his brother idly picking out what knife to gut him with.

"How about these Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked as she held up a pair of panties with pink bows all over them.

"I don't do pink." Sasuke said slowly.

"Well, how about these white ones then?" Sakura asked girlishly.

"You can see through those things." Sasuke said looking at the offending garments. "I'm not a slut you know."

"Hey, I have some like these!" Sakura said defensively.

"Your point being?" Sasuke asked acidly. "Why don't we just get something simple? Like these out here in the packs of four?"

Sakura looked at the packages and shrugged. "I just thought you might want something more comfortable."

"These look comfortable." Sasuke said finally. He was beginning to wonder if Sakura was enjoying this just a little bit too much. He decided to file it along with the idea Sakura in lacey underwear in the 'disturbing' section of his memory along with memories of his brother, and a few other things that seemed to be getting pulled out for him to be subjected too.

Sasuke finally pulled Sakura out of the underwear section toward less exotic articles of clothing like socks and sleepwear. Sasuke went and retrieved several pairs of socks, which unfortunately all had lace around them. He also grabbed a nightshirt, which looked like it would reach to his knees. He finally turned ready to leave.

"Where are you going?" Sakura asked.

"To check out."

"We're not done yet. You don't even have a bra yet." Sakura said sweetly.

"I am. If there's anything else I need just get it for me." Sasuke said sighing wearily. His back was starting to hurt.

"Really!" Sakura said as her eyes lit up.

Something within Sasuke's mind suddenly turned on and his brain began registering the possibilities of what would happen if he left his wardrobe up to Haruno Sakura. Visions of him running around in lingerie suddenly revived his interest in the endeavor.

"On second thought, I better stay." Sasuke said sighing.

Sakura looked crestfallen, but didn't stop until she had loaded Sasuke down with several items, and had picked out several for herself. Sasuke thought the ordeal was finally over, but fate had once again dealt him the cosmic wedgie.

"Where are we going now?" Sasuke asked impatiently.

"We have to try everything on silly." Sakura said as she and Sasuke were headed to the dressing rooms.

"Please. I'm sure they'll fit." Sasuke said desperately.

"Well, you don't want to waste money buying clothes only to find they don't fit do you?" Sakura asked as they set their things down in front of the dressing room.

"The clients paying for this." Sasuke ventured.

"All the more reason not to waste money, since we're on a budget." Sakura instructed. "Now, I'm supposed to be in charge, so march in there and try these on."

Sasuke looked at the ensemble that Sakura had picked out for him. It included a dark blue dress, frilly white socks, and a pair of lacey panties that were NOT out of the packages he'd selected, and a matching bra. Sasuke was ready to crawl away in despair.

"Just do it Sasuke." Sakura said finally after a few minutes of watching him stare at the garments.

"This day couldn't possibly get any worse." Sasuke said angrily.

"Hi everybody!" Naruto said with his perky blonde girly voice.

"I stand corrected." Sasuke said as depression quickly set in.

"I finally got Hinata awake, so we came to get some shopping done." Naruto said joyfully.

"Where is Hinata anyway?" Sakura asked.

"She had to go to the bathroom, her nose started bleeding while I was picking out underwear." Naruto said cluelessly.

Sasuke looked at the clothes in his hand and dropped the lacey panties in favor of the pack of underwear he'd picked out. "I'm wearing these and that's final." Sasuke said stubbornly.

"But aren't those the uncomfortable ones?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke looked at Naruto for a long time and noticed Sakura doing the same. "Naruto, I find the fact that you know the difference disturbing on many levels."

"Hey, that's just what Hinata said!" Naruto said blushing.

"Riiiiight." Sakura said slowly. "Tell me Naruto, you didn't by chance have any of this stuff already in your wardrobe did you?"

Naruto looked ready to fume when Hinata walked up. Sasuke had to admit he felt better; ridiculing Naruto usually did that for him.

"Have you tried on your new clothes yet, Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked shyly.

"Not yet. Sasuke is holding up the show." Naruto said nonchalantly.

"I'm getting there…" Sasuke said testily.

"Aren't those the uncomfortable…" Hinata started.

"I think they're comfortable, so back off!" Sasuke said loosing his cool.

"And how exactly is it that YOU know how comfortable they are?" Naruto said grinning madly.

Sasuke resisted the urge to punch Naruto and stepped into the changing room. He started getting undressed and started to dress in the outfit Sakura had given him. He was a little unsettled not seeing the old Uchiha these when he dropped his shorts, but just tried to focus on the mission. Sadly he finally had to admit it even to himself. The underwear he had picked out were uncomfortable. Resolving to find more agreeable underwear, Sasuke finally got into the dress.

"Sakura?" Sasuke asked quietly.

"Yes?" Came Sakura's reply from outside the dressing room.

"What moron puts a zipper in the back of a dress where you can't reach it?"

After about an hour the four young ninjas set out for home. Sakura and Hinata finally parted from their company leaving Naruto and Sasuke. "So we're supposed to stay like this for as long as we can?" Sasuke was asking Naruto.

"Yeah, apparently. I have to admit this is the longest I've ever stayed as a girl." Naruto confided.

"Yeah, well as soon as this mission is over I'm never going to do this again." Sasuke said as he hefted the huge bag full of his clothes.

"You never know, you two might grow to like it." Kakashi said as he appeared out of nowhere.

The two young ninja looked at Kakashi as if he were a lecherous old pervert who might try to grab them at any moment, thus proving their firm grip on reality.

"What do you want Kakashi-sensei." Naruto said backing up slightly from the older ninja.

"I just wanted to let you two know that I've found the perfect names for the two of you while you're undercover." Kakashi said proudly. "Until further notice you are going to be Uchiha Shiori, and you are going to be Uzumaki, Naniko."

"Joy." The two said in unison without much enthusiasm.

"Well, I'll see you in the morning. Don't be late. I'm going to instruct Sakura and Hinata to start referring to you by your aliases so that you'll get used to them." Kakashi said before disappearing.

Sasuke looked at Naniko and Naruto looked back at Shiori. "B-rank mission, B-rank mission, B-rank mission…" They said in unison as they headed off for their own homes.