Well, Rin has been suggesting I do this for, I dunno… AGES! This is for all of you sick of writers spelling Lucius Malfoy's name INCORRECTLY! Just a small bit of nonsense, but I hope it brings a small smile to you the next time you see a fanfic with his name spelled Luscious. Enjoy and tell me what you think!
3 Raye
Disclaimer: I do not own any official Harry Potter characters. They belong to JK Rowling. Pfft, like I am making money off of this anyway! HA! I am still a poor artist… . .
THE SECRET LIFE OF LUSCIOUS MALFOY!
It was widely known, throughout the Wizarding world, that those of Pureblood status were to be held in high regard and to be revered greatly for their breeding. At least, this is the impression that many of the Purebloods had- High amongst them, the Malfoys. However, it is to be noted, that no matter how good the breeding, every once in a while, you come across one that differs from that of his kind. In this case, that inbred Pureblood is Luscious Malfoy.
Born the twin of Lucius Malfoy, Death-Eater and Pureblood extroadinaire, Luscious was very... different from your average wizard.
"Good morning everyone!" A cheerful, effeminate voice broke the cold, dense silence of Malfoy Manor.
"Oh Lord, he's still here…" Lucius rolled his eyes, pouring milk into his coffee.
"I love you too, brother dear!" Luscious gave him a kiss on the cheek. "So, I had a fabulous night yesterday…"
"Oh, do tell us, dear brother-in-law." Narcissa smiled and gave her husband a bit of a sadistic look. That'll teach Lucius to hog the bloody covers…
"Well, I met up with Henri and the guys and we went to this AMAZING club outside of York…" He started to ramble on and Lucius tried to tune him out with failure. "... and then we found them drunk in the bathroom with their pants around their ankles and would you believe it- Mick DOES have a piercing there!"
Lucius groaned into his copy of the Daily Prophet and was thankfully interrupted by the sound of some Death Eaters apparating into his foyer.
"Sorry to cut breakfast so short," Lucius did not act very sorry at all in his haste to rise and greet the men who were his excuse to get away from his insane brother. "You know how business is…"
"Well I'll just come with you and tell all your friends the story as well!" Luscious smiled broadly and put an arm around his brother's slumped shoulders.
"This is important business for the Dark Lord himself, brother! We have not the time to waste!" Lucius snapped, roughly removing the arm from his shoulder.
"Then allow me to help you conspire. I do so love being evil… You have the best costumes when you're evil! All that leather and the bondage you can inflict on your captors…" Lucius groaned loudly and proceeded to the drawing room.
"What's the task at hand, gentlemen?" Lucius surveyed his faithful fellows. Crabbe, Goyle and Knott were there, along with a few others he hadn't bothered to remember the names of. They were new to the side and not to be considered worth too much of his time.
"We have found the possible location of Sirius Black, Malfoy." Knott informed him.
"Ooooh! Sirius Black! Goodness," Luscious' voice sounded from the corner of the drawing room. "I remember him from our days back in school… Coming off the quidditch pitch all wet from the rain.. his muscles taut and rippling…" He gives a delightful shudder. "Think he's seeing anyone?"
"He's been hiding away at Remus Lupin's place for a while but we think the two of them have recently moved…" Knott stared at Luscious for a moment before getting back to business.
"Oh DAMN! I should have known those two would have ended up together!"
"Ignore him…" Lucius told his associates. "Now what is the status on the Weasley family?"
"Bill Weasley appears to have returned from Egypt home to London recently…" Knott continued.
"The one with the earring? Mmmnn… I wouldn't mind chasing that weasel around very much!" Luscious made a sound like a horny lion and rolled a few Rs.
"Would you please contain yourself if you insist on attending my meetings!" Lucius spat at his brother.
"… for his wedding." Knott finished.
"Yes, yes. That's right. Mr. 'Can't get any from his wife now that Draco is old enough to know what they might be doing' is sexually repressed." Luscious stuck out his tongue at his purpling brother. "Damn, a wedding… Wonder what he wore…"
"GET OUT! Get out, get out, get OUT!" Lucius howled, aiming his wand at his brother.
"Pfft. Whatever Mr. Tightwad." He held up his hands in defeat and walked out of the parlor.
The Death Eaters were chuckling behind their hands at the last comment being made and Lucius shot them all nasty glares. "On with BUSINESS!" He commanded.