AN: okay peoples I'm back! Hehehe. Sorry I took so long to write. My computer died. She had about 47 viruses and was getting more everyday. Finally it became to much for her circuits and she gave up! She is all better now though so that means I can write again. I just got a question though. Why are all machines girls? And countries and cities? Even the ones named after guys? I think it's probably because these things are all run by guys who need to get a girl. Or they are sexist pigs and they live for women. Either one works but I'm not sure it works.
Warning: People do die. Elves Die. If you feel in love with any elves or hobbits PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS! Some of their deaths may be implied. Thank you. Also I do not have anything against elves.
Disclaimer: Look Tolkein owns it I don't. Plain and simple.
The Ugly Dude in Black Robes
Once upon a time there were two people who gave birth to a little baby. Now all new born children are ugly, but this one threw all others out of the competition and ran them over around ten times. He was so ugly I'M not even going to explain it. Just put as he was the ugliest thing on two legs. He was so ugly he turned his parents into play doh. The poor child was dubbed Sauron for no apparent reason and everyone went on with their lives. Sauron grew up and he and his blobby parents hoped that one day their ugly duckling of a son would grow up and become a beautiful swan. Unfortunately for them that never happened. In fact as Sauron grew older he grew uglier to.
Well one day his parents couldn't take his appearance any more and forced him to wear big black robes, and a mask. This made Sauron angry so he skipped all the way to Mordor and created a spooky ring, A-bombed Minas Tirith Rivendale (stupid elves), stole Rohan's "secret weapon" and used them to kill all the hobbits at an alarming speed, and he molded his parents into three statues of white cats. Well after killing people and blowing stuff and became super bored and blew up Middle Earth.
The End
Moral: Never try and force a kid into black robes if you're a piece of clay. Make them wear a dress.
AN: REVIEW! Help this poor author out! Complaints and comment are always wanted. Also if you don't get the play doh thing it's based off medusa. Looking at her turns you to stone looking at him turns you to play doh.