AN: hi its me again! Did ya miss me? Sorry I took so long to write, but I had marching band season to deal with. You might not think much about band geeks but we work waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay harder than the football players. And learn cool things like French, ballet, and Thai Chi. Very geeky I know. And after the season was over I had to get back my social life which is pretty much nonexistent and do homework. But hey finals are coming up so I decided to update before my mom started ripping the hair out of my head tie me to a tree force me to swallow poison, just so I had an excuse to fail my EOC's. bleh. Is suicide an excuse to miss out on them. I'm really going to have to look into that option. Hmmmmmmmmm…oh well. ON WITH THE STORY!

WARNING: if murdering masses of LOTR characters disturbs you than do not read this story. Instead go find a nice padded room with comfy walls and a cute little white jacket that lets you hug yourself all the time and live out a life of drug induced bliss.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Tolkien. NOTHING AT ALL! I own none of the drug induced elves, the mentally disturbed orcs or any of the cute little sweet man eating horses of Rohan. They are all from Tolkien's great imagination and I have only twisted them around a bit to fit my fancy. Just a bit. Also the unending story is not mine and is entirely owned by the Japanese or something like that.

The Story That Is Really REALLY Long But Eventually Does Have An End Somewhere..ish

Once Upon A Time there was a patrol of orcs from Isenguard on break. Now I don't know if you've ever been to Isenguard, but it DEFINITELY was not designed for a bunch of bored orcs. After all, there are only so many times you can sneak in and make prank calls on the "secret" tele-stone, torture prisoners, or poke Ents in the eye before it becomes about as dull as listening to your Grandma ramble on and on about how you should be happy about revolutionary inventions such as the light bulb.

So the orcs decided to try and find the magical land of the Shire, where there are plenty of innocent little people to steal from, torture, and force into slave labor. So the patrol of orcs and a few trolls and junk (who weren't exactly on leave time but hey do you want to argue with a two ton creature with the brain power of a stone?) leave Isenguard and travel west to try and find the elusive paradise educated people call the "Shire", but orcs just refer to as Garagabblerochintosh, since Shire is just waaaaaay to hard to remember and pronounce.

The patrol had been traveling for about a week when suddenly the Isenguard patrol came upon a bunch of orcs from Mordor who were traveling east also looking for Garagabblerochintosh aka the Shire. Well as we know orcs are not known for their intelligence, and some might go as far as saying they're as dumb as a door knob, as thick as the Earth, and just about as bright as a log. So it isn't to surprising that after just a few moments over 3 hours coughfivehourscough of council the orcs had decided that Garagabblerochintosh aka the Shire was neither East nor West and instead of trying some crazy direction like North or South they decided to see how deep the unending pit really was. At dawn the next day an orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit.Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit.Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit.Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit.Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit.Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit.Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit.Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit.Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit.Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit.Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit.. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit. Another orc approached the pit and with the cry of Moldy Potatoes he jumped into the pit…

The End

Moral: Next time you go questing remember to bring a map.

So what about it. You know you want to. After all it only takes less than a minute. Just think about it. You COULD be doing something important like walking the dog, solving world hunger IMing your teacher, or trying to blow up random stuff using kitchen supplies, but why do that when you can review. After all your just a click away from writing about the most boring, and dumbest story you ever read. So REVIEW!