I made a choice.

We all had to during that time. It was war and you had to decide where you stood, what you stood for, just what you wanted to do about anything. People were choosing sides all around and if you weren't choosing people were trying to get you to pick their side. Some had more persuasive methods than others.

So, I chose. I had to.

I may have been in Gryffindor but that doesn't mean I am the perfect little hero made material that some Gryffindors think everyone should be. Some people always see the world in shades of right and wrong, nothing else. They should know that such a thing is never true. I know, that's why I chose how I did. I knew I couldn't be the one to save anyone else. I just wasn't made for it. I was never meant to be a hero or a champion. I followed along, did what I was supposed to in school. I was the little cheerleader that lived in the mud. When it came time for me to choose a side I didn't forget the house I came from.

Wizarding life all stems back to our Hogwarts houses here in Britain, doesn't it? We always like those that came from our house more. Our childhoods and adolescence are shaped by our houses. We become who we are because of where we were sorted. I think sometimes that the best and worst people were made that way because of the pressures of their house, look at me. Not everyone sorted into Gryffindor thinks of themselves as brave and chivalrous. All Gryffindors are not out to save everyone and champion the side of the supposed right. Some of us are just impulsive and cocky and actually take more after the house most similar to that of Gryffindor.

I know some of them wondered later why I was sorted into Gryffindor. Why wasn't I, the back stabbing little rat, sorted into Slytherin, as if all so called evil wizards come from Slytherin? We can't help what traits we are born with or what life may breed us to be. Some say we have a choice in how we take things, whether we make it a positive or negative. These are what I see as the "optimistic" people. I am what life made me into; what my friends made me into.

In the end why should any of them have been surprised at the way I chose to go during the war? Did they think their path of the "right thing to do" gave me anything more than what I had? My whole life I felt worthless. I was never better than anyone. I was never worth anything to anyone, even my friends. I was always the lowest rung on the ladder! Why should it shock them then that when I was offered a chance, maybe not the best chance, but at least a chance to be something better I took it? I chose and maybe it wasn't the way they all wanted me to chose but I did it! I chose what was best for me. What reason did I really have to put myself on the line for them? Friendship? Doing the right thing? All of that is a fantasy that doesn't mean anything when one is confronted with the choice between life and death!

I knew when I chose what the consequences would be. I knew if I was found out what would happen. I'm still a Gryffindor. I know how things work for those kinds of people, only two sides to any issue. I knew just what they would think, how they would react, but I chose it anyway.

I chose, I confess it freely. I chose the Deatheaters. I chose the so called dark side. I chose to inform, to betray those who called themselves my friends; I chose to serve the Dark Lord.

Yes, that is what I chose. I may have chosen the loosing side but looking back I would probably chose the same thing all over again.

I am not sorry.